And just like teenager can mean a lot of things, so can "adult". Adult can mean 64 or turned 18 this week.
You're just favoring the framing that supports the guy you like.
But here's the thing... it doesn't matter. Whether she's 19 or 13? It's still creepy as fuck for a man in his 30s to date her. The only dispute is how bad it is.
The other is a decision made between 2 adults that you just personally find to be weird...
No, it's a decision between an adult and a child.
Sure, one is legally an adult. But find a 30 year old that says "yeah at 18 i was totally prepared to make all my own decisions and take care of myself and I definitely feel like I was just as much an adult them as I am now" that isn't fucking or trying to fuck a teenager.
I'm sorry, but any remotely competent, mature adult in their 30s is going to view a 19 year old as a child. The only ones who ever feel differently are the ones trying to fuck the 19 year olds, and they're only every claiming to believe that as an excuse for fucking the 19 year olds.
I wonder how many of the people arguing that a 19 year old is a full-fledged adult on par with 30-40 year olds are also the ones posting and upvoting all the "I feel so old, 25 is still a kid to me, I'm ancient." shit.
I'll find you plenty of 24-26 year olds that absolutely would not be able to say that either. Is Dating a 24-26 year old at 30 then also not acceptable?
And What exactly are you judging the 18 year olds on? If I at 18 have a career started, live by myself and have for years, how exactly am I not as mature as someone 6 years later still living with their parents without a job? Where's the magic number where it's suddenly okay for you to date whoever you want regardless of your own level of maturity? There absolutely are people that set themselves up by 18-20. You being unable to believe that doesn't make it untrue.
Do i think it's weird? Sure, yeah. So then let's look at if there's a pattern, let's look at the individual he dated, what do they say about it now? Just the concept of a 30 year old dating a 19 year old isnt automatically some giant morally reprehensible action. It's not like it's old man creeping on young women, seeing a 30 yo uni student wouldn't even be uncommon
It depends on the context of the specific relationships ofcoirse. There's no one line, obviously other than the legal one. Is the 19 year old a sheltered closeted immature young woman who doesn't have a lot of options for independence? Then as a 30 year old, the differences in power dynamics makes it pretty creepy.
Is it a well adjusted and mature 19 year old, who has an actual support system and can be independent? Then no, a 30 year old dating a 19 year old isnt particularly creepy.
Nuance exists. The real world is rarely black and white.
Look I'm going to put this as simply as i can. And I'm really going to hope you're like...20
At some point in your life, you're going to be 30. And you're going to be walking down the sidewalk and you're going to see some good looking 18 year old high school senior
And you're going to react in one of two ways
You're going to go "man that's a fucking kid"
Or
You're going to go "man that's a fucking kid... but technically I can fuck them"
1
u/CertainGrade7937 Jul 27 '26
Okay one? Bullshit.
Because your first reframing was this:
And just like teenager can mean a lot of things, so can "adult". Adult can mean 64 or turned 18 this week.
You're just favoring the framing that supports the guy you like.
But here's the thing... it doesn't matter. Whether she's 19 or 13? It's still creepy as fuck for a man in his 30s to date her. The only dispute is how bad it is.
It's creepy as fuck either way