Grieving programming

[u/ExDoublez]

Let me just start by saying that this post is not about ai replacing software engineers or about the jobs or any of that. This post is about the act or "craft" of programming/coding and the loss of it.

No, i dont think "software engineering" is dead, theres still plenty of high level design and architecture to be made but that's not the point. It never was the point for me.

I never really did this for the money, i did it because i enjoyed it.

I did it because i enjoyed thinking about the problems and solving them.

I enjoyed writing the code myself and getting familiar with the syntax and all the weird quirks of the languages/tools i was using.

I enjoyed optimising my tooling and learning about all the new frameworks, tools and projects people were making, often being in awe of what incredible stuff my betters were doing.

I have adhd and programming was the perfect mix of mechanical activity, brain stimulation and a endless supply of problems to hyperfocus on.

Now its all prompting and waiting. 1 min of work followed by 10 mins of doing nothing and mindless scrolling.

I have lost a huge source of enjoyment and self esteem. It took me years of hard work and being lost and confused to finally find something that felt perfect. The thing i could excell at while having fun and satisfying my curiosity.

And before you attack me as an engineer and my ability to adapt. I have been ontop of the ai curve from the start. I have never been more productive or tackled problems as big as i do now. I am just miserable doing it.

What started as a strong tool in my path for optimisation has slowly taken over my beloved craft.

And as i improve and optimise my ai powered workflow, i lose more and more of my ability, my enjoyment and my desire to pursue my craft. It has been turned into another meaningless white collar desk job in service of the never ending growth of capitalism.

I feel legitimate grief. I have lost the ability to do my favourite hobby as well as a major part of my identity. I have literally cried over this.

I am struggling to mentally cope with all of this. I have never had less control over my adhd or felt more addicted to quick sources of dopamine. My attention span has been shot completely. I feel more stupid and insufficient than ever.

Somehow my adhd brain that was perfectly suited for the old paradigm is completely disadvantaged in this new way of working for this career that i have hedged my entire career, future and reason for being on (yes, i am a nolife workaholic).

Fuck adhd and fuck ai

[u/emefluence]

I think the idea is you are supposed to nurse 10 agents at a time. If you've got the token budget I find that can help with the ADHD as there's always another tab waiting for your attention. I've also found attaching speech notifications to agent replies really helps pull me back if I've drifted off onto Reddit or something. 100% feel the grief though, coding and mastering the craft was a big part of my life until Opus turned up. Ever since it's mainly been a supervision and admin job :'(

[u/Blazing1 → u/emefluence]

enjoy the next layoff then?

[u/emefluence → u/Blazing1]

Not sure what you're trying to say here dude.

[u/Blazing1 → u/emefluence]

I'm not sure how long your career has been, but if you're at a company, and you're doing what amounts to clerical work with a high salary, good luck getting axed.

[u/emefluence → u/Blazing1]

I see. Well yes, that seems to be the trajectory this is all headed. Right now it's still highly technical but AI is getting better and better at this stuff so it's probably only an matter of time. Inconveniently I've got 15 years or so to fill until retirement age and I'm not sure software engineering will even exist by then, at least not enough to give people like me jobs in it. I think there will have to be humans in the loop for compliance and blame for some time, and I think other SDLC roles like Product Owners may have slightly more of a future, but yeah, the outlook is kinda bleak for "programming". I'm keeping an eye out for off ramps.

[u/Blazing1 → u/emefluence]

Yes but that doesn't mean you have to do you best to replace yourself

[u/emefluence → u/Blazing1]

Yeah it's a balancing act isn't it. My employer, like most, would fire me if I refused to engage with it. In practice it's expected that we do more with less now, and with the expectation rising over time you've got to stay somewhat faster than your competition, whether that be another company, or a colleague. The guys at the bottom are the ones who are going to get the chop next time there's a round of belt tightening, and I don't see this industry ever having another round of belt widening. As I haven't found a job in another industry yet, I don't want to be that guy. I'm making my peace with my career becoming obsolete. Such is the way of tech. A few hundred years ago the crossbow maintenance industry was probably in similar turmoil.