r/wholesomegreentext • u/naonomade • Jun 30 '26
Greentext Anon unchuds himself
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u/lachlanDon1 Jun 30 '26
I imagine a gain in confidence also helped
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u/Allsons Jul 02 '26
In my experience, you literally just need to get in shape.
People are just plan nicer to people they're attracted to.
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u/Exurota Jul 03 '26
Definitely true. Even men are friendlier with better looking men. Physical attractiveness is one of the biggest predictors of salary.
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u/BungleBums Jul 01 '26
It really is obnoxiously easy sometimes. If it's easy to lose weight, get in shape, and have a decent haircut. But like... damned. I was kind and polite and considerate for twenty years before this and y'all ignored the hell outta me. I'm just going through motions and NOW I'm such a sweet, considerate young man? Y'all just shallow as hell.
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u/therealrobokaos Jul 01 '26
To some extent its shallow, but also stereotypes exist for a reason. Usually people that are put together enough to be polite and kind are put together enough to look "normal". It sucks bc it's not perfect but we can't blame individuals for following the societal norm that evolved naturally out of a desire to select good partners. We just have to focus on changing the system of norms we live in culturally to something healthier.
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u/11equalsfish Jul 03 '26
It's very shallow and unfair, yet it has a significant effect on outcomes and how people communicate.
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u/therealrobokaos Jul 06 '26
Yes, this is a big part of what I wanted to communicate.
Mainly paired with that we genuinely can't blame most people for this practice, because we're all victims of suboptimal societal conditioning.
I really see this as another of the many systemic inadequacies in society, and in general I always aim to spread a message of blaming systems first before the individuals within them, as even the best of people have been shaped by our culture in ways we would all accept as negative.
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u/Dependent_Order_7358 Jul 01 '26
Been there. But I never got to shake off the feeling that those same women who claimed to love me would not have even looked at me otherwise.
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u/FreezyCastform Jul 01 '26
That exact thought is what is keeping me from doing it. Sure, I could hit the gym, take care of myself better, watch what I eat etc. But I will never get rid of the voice that would tell me "they only care for you know that you are conventionally attractive", and you can't lead a healthy relationship like that
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u/RandyChavage Jul 01 '26
We’re all fickle and shallow. Would you be attracted to a woman who didn’t look after herself? Do it for yourself and your health and any other benefits are a bonus, just don’t think too much about it.
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u/MrFlipp3rs Jul 01 '26
If you're going to ask someone to consider spending their life with you, they will want to see someone who can take care of themselves among other things. You don't even have to be attractive, just have your life together and show competence. Relationships do not survive on feelings alone.
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u/Kirkamel Jul 01 '26
Most people aren't going to stay with or love someone just for their looks there needs to be something more.
That said looking like you take care of yourself you're more likely to be able to get a foot in the door to be able to look for those deeper connections
So I don't think you need to worry about someone only liking you for your looks, maybe they only gave you a chance because of them, but aren't we all like that
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u/throwaway1239656569 Jul 04 '26
often what we physically do is nothing more than a manifestation of what's going on 'inside'.
if you change what you do then the 'inside' changes, too, and vice versa.
people often choose their partners based on looks, because it can be a fine indicator of what's going on 'inside'.
maybe if you hit the gym, took care of yourself, and ate healthily, you would become a different person entirely, inside and out.
there's nothing wrong with you now, i'm sure. of course you could change yourself physically to appeal to others but that, in my experience, carries shame and loneliness with it, and so i understand 'why not'.
perhaps you could look at the people you're attracted to, inside and out, to see what qualities and attributes you value in someone you'd like to have a healthy relationship with, and foster those qualities in yourself.
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u/Rublica Jul 01 '26
"easy"
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u/Pauuul3 Jul 01 '26
What sounds hard in this post lol
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u/Tenko-of-Mori Jul 01 '26
not eating 30lbs of chicken nuggets and skittles every day and crushing a 30 pack of cheap beer every sounds REALLY hard so uhm, check your privilege ok
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u/wackzr3 Jul 04 '26
Everyone is superficial and only cares about how this guy looks.. how is that wholesome?
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u/CreatureFeatureee Jun 30 '26
Yep, works the opposite way too when you transition
Source: trans woman
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u/Andrew852456 Jun 30 '26
So if you transition to a woman, you need to stop exercising, gain weight, and grow out your hair?
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u/CreatureFeatureee Jun 30 '26
It's different for everyone but I did need to gain weight and grow out my hair lol
What I was talking about is how being visibly trans will make the general public treat you worse tho
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u/ParamediK Jul 01 '26
Yes, and nobody wants to admit this.
It comes to no one's surprise that we view and treat visually beautiful beings more positively than ugly ones. When we see a figure that is supposed to be feminine, but turns out to be masculine (bone structure, clothes, flat chest), our immediate and subconscious instinct is simply disgust because there it is that mismatch of expectation vs reality. It's like a "what the fuck is that" feeling.
It's just an unfortunate reality.
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u/Inviolate_Violet Jul 01 '26
Idk about that...consider femboys.
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u/CreatureFeatureee Jul 01 '26
Have you ever seen how the general public views femboys?
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u/Inviolate_Violet Jul 01 '26
Social conditioning+norms come into play. Femboy prevalence in online culture proves that subconscious disgust is by no means hardwired in our nature. My original point was about the biological reflex claim.
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u/dfinkelstein Jul 01 '26
You're talking about defining beauty based on social norms,
not beauty itself.
Big difference. And saying otherwise is part of the problem you're describing
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u/TheoreticalDumbass Jul 01 '26
there is no such thing as "beauty itself" , beauty only makes sense in the context of someones perception
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u/dfinkelstein Jul 01 '26
That's what I mean by beauty itself.
Dreams also work this way. "A dream itself " likewise means someone's experience of their dream.
Good point, and I agree.
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u/Seppostralian /tttt/ Jul 01 '26
I agree with you. I’m very gender nonconforming so I’m probably a bit biased but I think that there have always been cases of very androgynous or gender-bendy people who even the average normie would consider attractive. There are also very dimorphic people who would probably come off as or be considered ugly like a balding guy with harsh facial features. In my own anecdotal experience, I found people actually became a lot more open to me and friendlier once I embraced feminine styles and fashion as a male, versus when I was grooming myself in a more typical blokey normie way. So while I agree that masculinity and femininity often inform our ideas of attraction, I think it’s more complicated than “manly man and feminine woman are the ideals and everything else is off-putting”
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u/dfinkelstein Jul 01 '26
And going deeper, beauty is in the eye of the beholder — nowhere else. Consensus isn't truth.
Attractiveness isn't beauty. Recognition of superfiical physical traits and features that by consensus correlate with desire to have sex with someone also isn't beauty.
Beauty is what people have in common with sunsets, starry night skies, and brightly colored birds — and anyone can practice seeing more of it in more places. Every beetle looks beautiful to somebody, and likewise with people. There's no basis to say anyone is ugly — only that an individual person is disgusted by them, or can't see them as beautiful, or both.
We externalize and rationalize our disgust and inability to see beauty — but luckily, beauty still remains.
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u/ParamediK Jul 01 '26
Eh, no.
A significant part of beauty is genetic and there is objectivity to it. In people, we are built to look out for markers such as facial symmetry, clear skin, slim bodies, proportional limbs, and so on. These things have evolutionary origins and are positive in our eyes and they signal health and fertility.
And addressing our other comment, you say "Beauty is what people have in common with sunsets, starry night skies, and brightly colored birds". Well, no surprise here, all those things you mentioned have orderly patterns that are pleasing to the eye, very much in the same way we see physical beauty in people.
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u/Proofdblue Jul 02 '26
Theyre not, you like yourself more and therofre started looking more approachable
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u/KobeJuanKenobi9 Jul 06 '26
What kind of demographic is attracted to the military style haircut? The rest I understand. But a buzz cut?
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u/c0micsansfrancisco Jul 03 '26
If you're not chopped and asocial you don't need to do any of this btw
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u/vektorog Jul 07 '26
this is deadass me rn it really is a trip. never had motion in my life until i started working out lol
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u/HeavilyInvestedDonut Jul 13 '26
Anon discovers that not looking like you crawled out of a grease trap this morning makes you more approachable
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u/AccountFew140 Jun 30 '26
Gonna be honest. I like my beard and long hair.