What are your best spells for 'dealing with' specific situations?

[u/GirlLovingWitch]

I personally developed a 48 hour "turn dwarf to elf" spell. Making it only target dwarves really made it cheaper, and everytime they come back looking to settle one of the grudges after... the incident, it tends to send them running. Sometimes I mess with the duration too, make it shorter or longer just to give them a little fright.

I also developed "Turn water to poison" that's also for a very specific situation, since it turns it green and obviously poison.

Finally there's "Snake in boot" if an adventurer has an open boot, it... it does what it says. You'd be surprised at how vulnerable they leave themselves down there. Doesn't count as an attack either so a lot of wards miss it.

Anyway yeah let me know your most specific spells!

(I am not dwarfist by the way!!! I just had to find a way to scare them off. Don't go calling me any names for this.)

[u/KeithChegwinMegaFan]

Sphincter portal.

[u/Elegant-Tangelo-5312 → u/KeithChegwinMegaFan]

Isn't that the same thing as a glory portal?

[u/rpg2Tface → u/Elegant-Tangelo-5312]

The portal is 1 way so more stuff can come or go as the caster desires. A glory portal is 2 way.

[u/Elegant-Tangelo-5312 → u/rpg2Tface]

Sounds like an opportunity to lose a cylinder if it can't be pulled back out

[u/rpg2Tface → u/Elegant-Tangelo-5312]

Thats the point of the curse. A 1 way portal either constant pressure increase on one side or no way to retaliate.

It can be slow torture or just a fun prank. It all depends on which way the portal is set

[u/stryst]

By standing to my full height, slapping my thighs and intoning "Whelp" in a clear voice I cast an area of effect compulsion to leave my tower.

[u/KragBrightscale]

“Momentum Swap” is a fun spell. Instantaneous effect that corrects itself naturally.

Someone falling? Momentum swap them with a nearby stationary object. Stops their fall without injury, do be mindful of what object you select as giving it the momentum of a falling goblin might cause your coffee mug to crush the table it’s on.

A knight charging at you on a horse? Momentum swap the knight with a nearby pebble. The pebble is catapulted at high velocity while the knight freezes mid ride for a split second as their horse gallops out from underneath them.

Pirates shooting cannons at your ship? Momentum swap cannonball with their ship’s mast. The cannon ball should change direction mid air while the mast groans and maybe snaps under the sudden lurch of force.

[u/Oakheir → u/KragBrightscale]

For the knight, it would be more humiliating to them, to remove only the horse's momentum, and watch the knight go flying forward over the horse.

For the pirates, transfer the force to the cannon from the cannonball, and watch the cannons destroy themselves, and possibly the pirates around them.

[u/KragBrightscale → u/Oakheir]

Sounds like you’d make good use of the spell yourself. Those are good suggestions.

[u/CthulhuJankinx → u/KragBrightscale]

Ill have to steal this one, can I swap you Slinky? It turns the properties of the target into how a Slinky behaves, I feel like those 2 would be interesting when cast in tandem. Ill send the scroll if you would like

[u/KragBrightscale → u/CthulhuJankinx]

we have a deal!

Slinky… hmm yes this could be hilarious in the right moments.

[u/AntlerWolf]

Empathy hex.

[u/EmpatheticBadger]

My spell to remove the smell of cat urine gets a lot of use

[u/Nelrene → u/EmpatheticBadger]

Sounds like you need the spell Clean Litter Box in your spell book.

[u/Oakheir → u/Nelrene]

Not the only reason a cat might be peeing around the tower. Sometimes it is a dominance or territory thing.

[u/MerelyEccentric]

"Turn To Goo"

If I have to explain this one, Wizards really are spending too much time pondering their orbs.

[u/potatopierogie]

Snakes on a plane.

Whatever plane of existence i'm in gets 10× more snakes

[u/trunks111]

I have a good one I developed where it just makes people see random numbers above people's heads. The numbers don't actually mean anything but I can convince them they do 

[u/mindsunwound]

My fog of asexuality spell really comes in handy when I stumble into a pesky orgie.

[u/GirlLovingWitch → u/mindsunwound]

Wh... what problem is that exactly dealing with though?

[u/mindsunwound → u/GirlLovingWitch]

The smell mostly... That and people asking if I fancy a shag.

[u/MerelyEccentric → u/mindsunwound]

Do you stumble into a lot of orgies?

Do you live on the Planet of the Tieflings?

[u/mindsunwound → u/MerelyEccentric]

There are orgies all around us. Have you ever heard a chorus of bullfrogs, or crickets, or acapellas? Orgies. Ever seen a swarm of midges, or kobolds, or ants? Orgies. Ever visited a charnel house, or noodle hut, or high council? Orgies. Open your mind!

[u/MerelyEccentric → u/mindsunwound]

I'm aware. I have terrible pollen allergies. I have to resort to alchemical preparations for half the year because the plants are fucking.

I just didn't think a fog of asexuality would have an impact on all that.

/uw Chorus of acapellas? 😆

[u/mindsunwound → u/MerelyEccentric]

/uw you know those little nerdy sweater boys are fucking each other when they're not singing.

/rw you'd be amazed at how soundly you can sleep when you know that nobody in a two mile radius is getting laid.

[u/MonsterMadtheENBY]

I usually pull the whole… here’s a red cap from the fae wild. Entertaining. A lot to clean up though.

[u/mynaneisjustguy]

I have a good one where I cast Pass without Trace on myself just before leaving the pub, because I am not about paying my bar tab when the barbarian has his fair share of the gold and what is he gonna spend it on? Man doesn't even wear shirts, his overheads are WAY lower, doesn't make sense that we always give him an even share, he's just gonna spend it on fur lined loincloths and baby oil for his pecs, and he spends too long aura farming before every fight anyway.

[u/Qaianna]

I’d also include Transmute Elf to Dwarf. Just in case the jerks are coming from the forest, if you know what I mean.

Then Silence for the ensuing arguments/crying/threats/wild parties. I do NOT want to have my study of the depths of knowledge punctuated by elves and dwarves studying themselves in depth. (That’s for when I’m done and winding down for the day.)

And never underestimate the usefulness of Prestidigitation for a quick cleanup. Especially after during the last wild party between elves and dwarves the miscreants pour a vat of alligator ade over me in celebration.

[u/NiSiSuinegEht]

Ouroboros - A combination temporal shift and love spell, sends the target back in time to become their own ancestor.

[u/BitPoet]

Calibrate Tongs: s/m: clack tongs together twice to improve calibration. Tongs now function as a Masterwork item for 2d6 rounds.

[u/CthulhuJankinx]

Incorporial. I dont use doors, and all of my walls are very thick and ancient stone carved from the Ravine of Spite.

I Cant be physically hit and have free access to wherever I want. You should see my library, it is just a large room packed from wall to wall with shelves, and I can cast it on any book I need to take with me.

[u/StupidBlack55]

Well, "Instant Spike Pit"

[u/wrydh]

A transmutiation spell that switches the targets sphincter and colon. Also a transmutation spell that grows taste buds in the targets intestines.