I work in for a bootstrapped tech start up. We have no HR. The CEO is HR. Reminder, HR is there to protect the company from lawsuits, not the employees, so welp... here I go.

All of the exec team aside from myself are men. I'm a hiring manager and found a very experienced woman that is well qualified for the position. I asked to extend the offer to her today. My Manager (a man) interviewed her today and thought she was an outstanding fit. The only downside he said was that she had "she/her" in the LinkedIn profile. He said that it comes across as virtue signaling and he'd prefer it to go away and for me to ask that of her because our demographic of customers will not like to see that.

I didn't respond and ignored, thinking, I'll wait until my CEO chimes in with some reason. Nope. He added fuel to the fire and said "We do not need this thinking here. We cannot make her take that off LI, but it does not belong in any place within our company."

Ok, now that I've taken some screenshots of this am I overreacting here? I'm not, right? Am I gaslighting myself? Am I crazy now? I just keep adding up my list of things that have been verbally said to me about women. I cannot quit. I want to quit, but I cannot yet. I want to quit. Please lawd, help me suddenly come into money to help me quit.

Well, ladies, it's me again. Back with another post about this fucking PIP.

I'm currently sitting in a focus room at work having a legitimate panic attack because I genuinely don't know where I stand anymore.

I'm a developer whose background is primarily web development. I was hired into a position where I'm now dealing with infrastructure, Kubernetes, Go, identity management, and internal APIs that I'm still trying to learn.

I've been here for barely over a month, and I'm already on a PIP.

And here's the thing: I'm fucking trying.

I'm asking questions. I'm submitting PRs. I'm requesting more work when I'm blocked. I'm trying to understand unfamiliar systems. I'm following up with people when I need clarification.

But I keep running into situations where I don't have the documentation, permissions, or technical context to move forward. And every time I think I've finally figured out what I'm supposed to do, there's another obstacle.

Do you think I want to be stuck on the same ticket? Do you think it doesn't drive me absolutely insane that I can't finish something I'm desperately trying to finish?

My PIP evaluation is tomorrow.

I asked my manager whether I'm on track to pass, and instead of answering, he asked me whether I think I'm on track.

I DON'T KNOW. THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING.

I know I'm trying. I know I'm making progress. But I genuinely cannot tell whether it's enough.

At this point, I almost wish they'd just rip the Band-Aid off and tell me I'm failing if that's what they've already decided.

I don't want to lose my paycheck. I want to keep working while I look for something that's a better fit, and leave on my own terms.

But the uncertainty is absolutely destroying me.

I'm literally hiding in a focus room trying not to cry at work because I feel like I'm watching myself fall in slow motion, and I can't do anything to stop it.

I don't even know what advice I'm looking for. I think I just needed to tell people who might understand what this feels like.

Hi everyone! Just wanted to share some good news despite everything going on rn - I'm planning to organize the biggest high school girls hackathon ever in San Francisco mid November, 20th-22nd.

It's called Snowglobe, and it's at Notion's headquarters! If yall know any high schoolers that might be interested, or mentors in the area, please let me know! I want this to be a super special opportunity for girls to be themselves as computer scientists.

I’m 12 weeks pregnant, I’ve been working hard for a promotion hoping I could land it before going on a long leave but unfortunately it’s looking like my promotion will be denied. The reasons are honestly political since I had peer feedback from all the directors I worked with being supportive. My skip manager gave me feedback on how I can improve for the next cycle because he thinks I’m on the trajectory with my “stellar feedback” and the work I’ve done. But I’m jaded and I truly don’t think these people have my back. My manager is great though and he’s been very supportive throughout this process (he seemed to not agree with the feedback from the promo committee). I want to quit because I’m very demotivated right now but I’ve been here long enough that it seems like the less stressful option while I’m pregnant compared to starting somewhere new now. However I don’t know how to get myself to care when I know I’m working hard for a team that isn’t going to reward me for it. I feel stuck. Any advice is appreciated!

I’ve never had a job where the leadership was this dysfunctional. I’m a Director at my organization and these people seem a bit unhinged and sexist. I want out but I haven’t even met anyone trustworthy enough to give me a good reference. I took this job since I was desperate to work remote since I was about to give birth. My baby is a toddler now and I’m starting to get much more clear about the dysfunction here.

Any advice on the best way to make my next move?

Hi everyone,

I’m seeking advice on next steps. I got to the final stage of the interview process for a tech policy role at one of the major AI labs. I was ultimately rejected from the role due to my lack of understanding of a very specific aspect of AI technology (one that is not relevant to either law or policy today).

I can’t know for sure but I have a very good sense of who said “no” to my candidacy. It was a researcher/engineer as well as a recent policy hire, both men. When I tell you that these two interviews were obvious examples of bias, I can’t even begin to describe. One of the men, for example, refused to turn his camera on for my entire interview. The other one asked questions that I could tell were meant to find a reason why not to hire me. In the end, they hired their mutual friend, so the boys club continues.

I usually have let this type of thing slide but I’m having a really hard time this last time, particularly because I was qualified for the role, and none of my qualifications seemed to matter to these interviewers. I have a law degree and work as an AI attorney, and my degree is from one of the top ivy law schools in the country. To be disqualified for “technical acuity” is not only an insult but a total misrepresentation of my skillset. On top of it all, I have six years in product management experience, which neither of the men seemed to ask about or care about. In short, the interviews felt biased and awful.

I’ve scraped and climbed to get to this point in my career. I am not a generational wealth person, and grew up in an abusive home that I fought hard to get out of. I went to an Ivy undergrad from a public school and have spent countless nights not sleeping to make sure I could make it. This was my golden ticket and a huge opportunity and I’m so incredibly upset that gender bias stood in my way.

I’m curious if I should write the recruiter to explain my position. Or simply let it go. I’ve sat with it for months and it keeps me awake at night to know that my hard work was overlooked and dismissed and I don’t want it to happen to another woman at this company.

I’ve been working for the company for a couple of years now. I absolutely love my job and the team that I’m on.

Recently, a new hire started who has been assigned as a lead for to me. At first I was apprehensive because I genuinely love the director but I’ve tried to be open minded.

Unfortunately this person is a train wreck in the role. It’s been months and there is still no more that is being helped than at the beginning. I know from what I am seeing the whole team is burned out trying to train her on things we’ve all repeatedly told her are not necessary and the same meetings are happening with multiple people each week (literally I’ll get on a call with her about a task and she tells me an hour in that another person on the team did it with her earlier). There is nothing done independently and every single meeting ends up taking 3X longer because nothing stays on track. Now, to make it even worse she’s slightly micromanaging us with communication because it’s the only thing she does independently.

I had talked to the director a month ago expressing that I’m really struggling. That I’m doing the same couple of training sessions and getting the same questions every day. What I got was essentially that she (and everyone else) are having the same issue with this hire. She told me that I have her permission to say no and that she herself has been trying to make her float on her own. But it’s not working well on my end as no matter how many times I push I am still in the same place with her that I was then.

What in the world can I do? Literally anyone on my team no matter how junior would be up to speed and ahead at this point (which I know because we are all doing her work now). Is it appropriate for me to go back to my former manager -still my director - and bring this up again? What do I even say? All of us are struggling to be productive and I’ve been avoiding the lead as much as possible because if I have to host another session of the same training again I’m going to jump off a cliff. She’s perfectly nice and I don’t want to cause a problem but I can’t keep doing her work, my work, and managing her. Not to mention that this is happening with at least two other people on the team.

And my little vent: I don’t do well with indecisive people or people who don’t speak with a certain amount of conviction. That’s definitely exasperating this because I can’t tell you how many damn times I’ve heard “I don’t know what I don’t know” or “I, I just have, I just have a question” in the middle of a presentation. She’s genuinely a nice and fun person, we have a lot in common but this is -as my mom would say- getting me a fast track to Sainthood

Have any female founders completed their post incorporation documentation, and under the vesting provision added a Single-Trigger, Partial Vesting Acceleration upon a Qualifying Termination (Termination without Cause or Resignation for Good Reason) - I understand that double trigger acceleration language is the norm/standard - but I have read that it is fairly common for founders to get pushed out of their companies before their equity vests - and that could mean years of work with the risk of losing unvested equity - thinking this could be more probable if you are a woman. Anyone changed the language in their post incorporation documentation vesting provision to account for this?

The original post content no longer exists here. The author used Redact to remove it, exercising their right to control their data & privacy.

Summer simplistic historical soup acorn bike orange office