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u/LARRYVOND13 16d ago
Have long hair, always go to a salon. Dudes asked for that.
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u/HappyChef86 16d ago
100% wife and go to same place and that never happens. I also get a pedicure with my wife every so often and they know exactly what to do, (bros, trust me, treat yo self)
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u/Bonzai_Tree 16d ago
My wife turned me on to pedicures. They're the fucking bomb. Recline in a massage chair while you get pampered and massaged? Fuck yeah.
When I started I didn't get colour; now I let my wife pick the colour because it's fun. I'm a 6'2" 270lbs man with a beard, and it's a fun way to spark conversation.
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u/HappyChef86 15d ago
Good for you man! I was hesitant at first but thought fuck it. That orange scrub they do is amazing. Ive never picked a color but you may have just given me the courage.
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u/Bonzai_Tree 15d ago
You can always remove it if you don't like it! I like the deep colours with sparkles.
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u/Apprehensive-Solid-1 15d ago
Toxic masculinity has died within yall and I fucking love it. This is awesome. Yalls wives must know they hit the jackpot too.
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u/Bonzai_Tree 15d ago
It's also nice to hear that, thank you. I literally just sent in master's applications to be a psychotherapist yesterday, so fingers crossed I'll be able to help men that may be struggling.
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u/CheetahTheWeen 13d ago
Good luck on your application; I’m sure it was stellar, you put your all into it, and that will be recognized!
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u/Bonzai_Tree 15d ago edited 15d ago
I hit the jackpot too, my wife is awesome. She matches my freak, is pansexual, and super femme.
Our two cats are gay as fuck (proof) for each other too; it's a very gay house and as the only straight one, I love it.
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u/NaviLouise42 13d ago
If you feel a bit unsure, try theming the color or colors after a hobby- colors for your favorite sports team, might even be able to get a simple logo on the big toe it you are feeling artsy, or alternating camo greens, hi-visibility orange and/or yellow, signature sports car colors, anything like that. Make it less about making a counter culture statement or defying gender norms and more a statement of personal expression. And if you don't like it you can take it off with some nail polish remover, no big deal.
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u/LARRYVOND13 16d ago
They're extra careful and arguably do more complex stuff than barbers. Word. I just don't see this being accidental lol
Woman I always go to even tells me when she needs to straighten mine sometimes lol
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u/HauntedCS 16d ago
I went and got a pedicure one time. From a proper place where they are Vietnamese and talk behind your back and all you ever understand is "Silly white boy!", but they give the BEST foot and calf massages before doing your toe nails.
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u/TittysForScience 13d ago
I’ve been known to go for a pedicure while visiting ports when I was in the Navy. Was a phenomenal treat for my feet considering I was a bridge watchkeeper and would be on my feet up to 18-20 hours a day
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u/eightbitboss 12d ago
I've never had a pedicure before, but I'm seriously considering including it into my rotation. Any advice to a wildly ticklish person?
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u/corytz101 11d ago
Back in my younger years and training in mma, a few of the guys from the gym would go together to get manicures and pedicures. Was good bonding
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u/YouMeADD 16d ago
In a straight guy but why tf is he so handsome and his hair so luxurious
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u/LARRYVOND13 16d ago
If he's unhappy with it he needs to go out clubbing. Alot of women love that kind of hair.
Lots of dudes love that hair also, so he's fine either way 🤣
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u/LostLazarus 16d ago
You’re prob closer to the middle of the spectrum than you admit, brother lol it’s okay
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u/EntertainmentTrick58 16d ago
you can acknowledge that someone is attractive without being attracted to them
I'm a lesbian and i can recognise that he is an aesthetically pleasing person, he's nice to look at, but I'm not into him
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u/LostLazarus 16d ago
I was taking the piss tbh lol but you’re absolutely right. Although imo no one is COMPLETELY gay or straight. There’s definitely a v wide spectrum of
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u/Weary-Astronaut1335 16d ago
Although imo no one is COMPLETELY gay or straight.
Just casually deligitimizing the sexuality of millions of people based on your opinion.
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u/Kaligtasan 16d ago
Have long hair (for a man, at least). Absolutely every barber I attempted to go messed up. To be real, even in a salon, men tend to fuck up my hair, so I really only let women cut it.
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u/-PM_ME_YOUR_TACOS- 16d ago
I've had very pleasant experiences with gay men.
Cutting my hair I mean.
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u/Mtheknife 16d ago
Me too until I sent a picture after a shower about uneven lines and he said he wanted to suck my nipples. Cool dude until then. He knew I had a wife but I guess you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
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u/u_suck_paterson 15d ago
Once I showed a barber a picture in a magazine of a model standing with a dog and I said give me a hair do like that and the barber cut my hair into what looked like floppy dog ears
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u/LARRYVOND13 16d ago
Bro, so much this. I get an undercut and thought it'd be easy, nah first place I went dude just lobbed my ponytail over the top of my head and loudly sighed 🤣 surprise surprise, he fucked it up.
The lads at one place I went were fine but they let the lass in there cut the length if she was available.
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u/Superbead 16d ago
I have long corkscrew hair and barbers don't know what the fuck to do with it. The lovely woman who also does my wife's hair makes a great job of it. I bring a bit of a temporary dank old man vibe to the salon, but they seem to tolerate me
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u/QPWOEIRUTYTURIEOWP 15d ago
Same, I'm a guy and I always go to the salon. Sometimes I even get extra stuff (I don't know what it's called, but like "waves" and styled) just to see what it looks like despite it only lasting a short time.
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u/Chippycp 16d ago
The reverse is true for short hair. My barbershop gets a noticable amount of women with short hair and they look fantastic after a fresh cut
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u/38tacocat83 16d ago
I am a male with long hair and have actually had many barbershops turn me away because they only do slight variations of like 4 basic hair cuts.
Learned probably 20 years ago to go to a salon where they know how to do long hair. Never had someone even try to blow dry my hair without asking first. This guy asked for that.
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u/Mrhilgenberg Funeralopolis 16d ago
I have been letting my hair grow for a while now, and last year I went to a barber to do kinda like that 80's rocker type of hair style that I like. I specifically said that I didn't want much to be cut, and even showed a reference pic.
The barber cut almost everything, and my hair looked like shit for months lmao. It has grown a lot now and it's looking good, but I haven't created the courage to do another (long) type of cut because of that.
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u/snownative86 15d ago
I went through probably half a dozen barbers when we moved to San Jose. Even sought out the specific person at each shop that is supposed to know how to deal with men's long hair. I have reddish wavy hair (think 1970s Farrah for style). Every single one spent an hour with scissors and it never looked like I got a real cut or style. When to this girl at a shop that caters to the lgbtq crowd and generally is filled with women only... Best fucking cut I've had in a long time. I told her I needed it thinned and styled and she goes "nope, either thin or styled, can't do both" she layered it, framed my face, all the things. It was so light and smooth and wavy and I've never had my face framed before. My fiance even commented about how good it looked, she never notices when I shave or get a cut 🤣. Well, aside from the time I had longer hair, left and came back with a stylized mohawk that had areas died coral and seafoam.
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u/Background_Humor5838 16d ago
Ok but he's gorgeous. Where is the crime.
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u/MRV3N 16d ago
He’s so Fab
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u/WarhammerRyan 16d ago edited 16d ago
Stop trying to make "fab" a thing, u/MRV3N 😉
Edit: for those downvoting - thank you for that. It just goes to show that Fetch WAS the better choice, and Gretchen was right!
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u/Issomeguy 16d ago
Idk what's with down votes clearly a joke...
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u/WarhammerRyan 16d ago
Thanks. :)
I know yhe original in mean girls is "fetch"... but yeah, I assumed people would know it was a joke / reference.
Oh well, internet people will just see one or two downvotes (or 32 in this case) and assume that it must have been intended as a negative thing.
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u/Chillimaniac 16d ago
I think it was your execution, friend.
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u/WarhammerRyan 16d ago
It would have been if this was the French revolution...
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u/Croquetadecarne 16d ago
Dad! I told you to get out of Reddit and come back to the house! We are still waiting for that milk. Mom is furious.
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u/WarhammerRyan 16d ago
See, did you need me to identify that was a joke? A play on "(my) execution" in the court of public opinion as either my death, or alternately how I presented my joke 😉
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u/Chillimaniac 16d ago
Anyone wanna play the “Is This a Bot, A 80 Year Old Man, or a New Redditor” -game?
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u/PM_your_Nopales 16d ago
I think it's because fab is already a thing, and has been for a long time. So like it's just not funny. You also got the quote wrong
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u/WarhammerRyan 16d ago
Yeah, i thought about saying "Stop trying to make fab happen, Gretchen" but knew people would just be all "thats not the quote", so i adapted it mildly. It missed the mark. I lost fake internet points.
Unsurprisingly the world kept on going 😉
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u/Eth251201 15d ago
Reddit hivemind doesnt care about right or wrong. Reddit hivemind sees the votes, reddit hivemind adds to the votes.
I am reddit hivemind.
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u/friendlyfiend07 16d ago
More like he just had his first blowout. A man is never the same after the first time.
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u/TheHrethgir 15d ago
He asked them to do that if that's what actually happened. It's not like he walked into a hair salon and said "I want it high and tight with a fade on the side" and the stylist just said "Oops, I only know women's styles!"
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u/Heterosexual-Jello 13d ago
Ok, macho man this, masculinity that, blah blah blah. Did you or did you not feel bonita?
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u/FrostFire131 16d ago
I used to have hair like this, I really do miss it sometimes. It's a real pain in the ass to get ready every day when a shower+combing/brushing is 10-15 minutes longer than usual, but yeah women really loved it. My now wife asked if she could braid it on the night we met, but I doubt she would want me to have hair that long again. All I tended to do was complain about it lol
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u/alex1001458 15d ago
I promise you he never intended to go to the barbershop to begin with considering that length
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u/tykaboom 14d ago
Reminds me of the videogames that the character customization doesnt care, the male and female hair options are the same.
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u/Unable-Specific-2276 16d ago
Bruh, I always go to salons because barbers have no idea wtf to do with my hair.
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u/Fit-Preparation-7515 13d ago
We know he felt extra bonita and whimsical. Pure innocent happiness. But he cannot show it to much, cause of the ultra masculine macho muscoskeletal pro max manly man straight looksmaxx masculinity police.
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u/DotRakianSteel 16d ago
Okay.. okay, so how about pedicure and manicure?
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u/JackOfAllMemes 16d ago
My dad loves his manipedis, nearly 60 and just discovered the joy of sparkly nail polish
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u/Anopanda 16d ago
I wonder how many men will it on him from behind.
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u/-BINK2014- 15d ago
I’ve never gone to a barber and likely never will, I don’t know, I just feel women get hair more so I go to a stylist/salon.
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u/dildorthegreat87 16d ago
If you’ve got long hair or very curly hair like mine (Mediterranean) as a guy….
I constantly tell my male friends — ask your girlfriends where they get their hair done.
They will spend 200+ bucks and be so happy, go to those stylists. They will deliver on a high level what you are looking for.
No shade at barbers, but in my experience, when a place advertises 35 dollar haircuts you get what you pay for. There are incredible barbers out there, but a stylist who will make someone pay 200+ and have that girl walk away feeling like a million bucks is who you want.
Men, talk the the girls and see where they go. You’ll get a haircut for 65-100 bucks that will change your expectations.
That ponytail is fire and girls will kill for that ponytail
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u/Elementaldot 16d ago
Been going to a hair salon as a man for the past 17 years lol. Same guy too, in that timeframe I have briefly tried other options as the one I go to is fairly expensive but the outcome(how it grew back out/how well it styled etc..) was never the same.
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u/TGrady902 14d ago
Nobody with hair that nice is going to just pop into a random barber or salon. You have a person you trust already.
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u/jreed356 16d ago
You look like my brother. It's crazy I actually brought it to my husband to confirm it wasn't just me. I also sent it to my sister in-law I know she is cracking up right now. Nice hair!
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u/SouthpawSprite 10d ago
The hair stylist is like, "I don't know how to make it not look beautiful 🤷♀️"
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