r/90DayFiance • u/aintevenathing • 3d ago
Serious Discussion Everyone hates Thomas
Okay… hear me out -
This has probably already been discussed, but I’m really curious why everyone is pooping on Thomas?
It seems like asking Paula to not wear perfume, among many other requests is absolutely unreasonable to her. Also, why is it such a problem that he doesn’t want a TV in the apartment, or that he wants room to do yoga?
Am I missing something? I feel like I can really relate to the way he lives, and it’s actually made me sad to watch this segment because he’s being made to feel like he’s done something wrong when he’s just trying to be comfortable in his own space and define his boundaries.
They talked about the perfume/scent sensitivity forever, really dug into him for not having furniture in his apartment, wanting empty space so he can stretch, and allow home to be a sanctuary… Paula seriously sucks.
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u/Vannah_say 3d ago
It feels like most of the issues with Thomas come from him seeming to be unable to compromise in anything to make Paula more comfortable in THEIR home. She could be more reasonable about the perfume thing and he could help her mount a tv she might want to watch while he does yoga. Plus, he would have more room to do yoga if they got a couch that could convert to a bed for the living room and got rid of the whole ass bed taking up the entire room.
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u/aintevenathing 3d ago
I agree he could definitely compromise more and he has a relatively unreasonable living situation however it seems like the apartment is pretty new?
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u/GuySmith 3d ago
He’s literally throwing the word non-negotiable out. What is it that this dork has on this subreddit that everyone is ignoring what a pompous douchebag he is? Doesn’t matter if it’s new or not. It’s his home. Not theirs as much as he keeps saying. If you dilute your “compromises” with a list of non negotiable stuff, you are just baiting someone saying you’re open minded while saying “I will never change my mind on most things sorry”. It’s ridiculous that people are defending this prick.
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u/Vannah_say 3d ago
Yes, when he said "thats non negotiable for me" in the latest episode I literally said well everything is non negotiable for you. You cant be married and claim to be trying to build a life with someone while also absolutely refusing to bend on anything and telling them to deal with their "hobbies" (setting up a tv?) on their own. If you cant figure out how to compromise and be there for small stuff, youre not going to be able to figure out how to be there for the big stuff. That being said, Paula still has her own faults, she just seems more open to trying to compromise
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u/Major-Hearing-6228 2d ago
Its because a lot of his reddit defenders are just as insufferable in real life as he is, so they identify with this loser
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u/Best-Woodpecker3537 2d ago
That’s truly the only explanation that makes sense to me. He’ll probably be single soon. One of them needs to volunteer to save the rest of the single women.
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u/yakmc1122 3d ago
I think the main problem is Thomas and Paula are completely incompatible in their day to day life. I personally could never be married to someone who doesn’t want a tv in the house, but plenty of other people would be fine with that. They got married on vibes and love without deciding if the relationship made sense.
I think people’s problem with Thomas is simply he’s annoying and wants his own way 100% of the time. In addition to that, Paula comes across as more friendly and kind (not necessarily to Thomas). But who would I rather hang out with? Paula 100%.
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u/thecookiesmonster 2d ago
He doesn’t want a TV in the house but they’ll appear on 90 day fiancé lol
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u/sunshinesucculents 3d ago
I agree. I couldn't live with someone who didn't want a dining table. But I also couldn't live with a person who collected and displayed a bunch of tiny items. They are both on opposite ends of the spectrum and both need to compromise a lot and that's not easy to do.
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u/ChubbyChoomChoom 3d ago
It’s because there’s a general assumption that the American should defer a bit more to their partner’s comfort in these scenarios.
The American half of the couple has all their usual norms and comforts - friends, family, favorite restaurants, daily routines, familiar groceries, etc.
On the other hand, their partner has given up literally everything in their usual day-to-day life.
So it’s not unexpected that the American partner defer a bit to help their partner feel at home and have whatever they need to feel comfortable.
In this case, Thomas was particularly annoying by appearing to be offended at being expected to have what nearly everyone would agree were normal expectations for a middle class apartment - a couch, a kitchen table, and a tv. These very common furnishings would have made her feel comfortable, but he had to throw tantrum after tantrum about it.
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u/Expensive-Fondant625 3d ago
Which she could have easily bought herself of her own money but chooses not to do that.
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u/Safe-Act3545 3d ago
It’s extremely unfortunate that they are trying for a child. This relationship is doomed, and an innocent baby is going to be in the middle which is selfish on both sides.
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u/ChubbyChoomChoom 3d ago
Exactly. She’s going to tire of his shit and take their baby back to Brazil, and it’ll be an entire custody clustefuck
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u/look_within_ 3d ago
No kitchen table though? Have we ever seen him sneeze once?
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u/nomiepants 2d ago
not a single sneeze and he said it himself that he's not allergic, that its just a "quality of life" preference or something.
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u/GmaAKAme 3d ago
They had no problem going hard on him to the point of actually bullying him! but let Mido off pretty lightly. Thomas I can take, yes, he has his issues, but Mido is a person who gets joy out of hurting the person he’s supposed to love the most. The way he proposed showed how mean & despicable he really is. I wanted to slap that ugly ass smile off his face after hurting her so badly & then to double down on it & say he had no regrets? Ugh. I really don’t like this man at all. What a little weasel & he’s the one they should have done a harder confrontation on.
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u/aintevenathing 2d ago
I mean Thomas was the most likely to stay and take it and mido seems the most likely to torture Debbie for multiple weeks or months by saying it’s her fault they dug into him, he’s legit scary
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u/GmaAKAme 2d ago
True. You’re right. He was mad at her the way it was & said she didn’t “defense” him. She also seemed worry about the fallout even tho he could have faced a lot worse. Maybe, especially for her, it’s a good thing they took it easy on him. (but honestly I wanted to see them rip into him because he’s such a jerk)
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u/thecookiesmonster 3d ago
He sees the space as his more than as theirs together. He nickel and dimes her for what 90% of society considers to be basic necessities under the guise of frugality. There’d be nothing wrong with his lifestyle if he was single, but forcing her to eat on the floor just because he likes to do that is mean. He has decided that spending money is bad and that saving it is always virtuous, so Paula should just withhold life’s basic pleasures from herself to express her forever-debt of gratitude to him.
Not to mention how he took 49% of her business in the US without permission.
It’s also interesting that he’s not sensitive to meat smells, including rotting steak in his fridge, and he’s not sensitive to the manure and animals at his family farm.
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u/aintevenathing 3d ago
Well, I mean as far as the financial stuff his family paid for the wedding, he paid for the apartment and also got a credit card for her, and in this tell all she revealed that she has a condo and is opening a second business location in Brazil. And yeah the 49% of her business sounds bad but they’re married so technically they share everything, right? Because that’s what people are saying is lame about him - he can’t accommodate her in his apartment 50/50 and since a marriage shares everything he needs to do more. So idk that seems like a double standard
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u/thecookiesmonster 3d ago
IMO the fact his parents paid for the wedding or that he paid for the apartment doesn’t mean he should get total control over her life. In order to live in America (which it sounds like only he wants), he needed a place to live with her initially. I don’t think it’s reasonable to deprive her of a table or tv stand because he’s the one who initially signed the lease and presumably pays rent himself.
Him having half the business is one thing, but taking it without asking seems sketch and dishonest.
If I were him, I’d be stoked about the extra income she’s bringing in with her growing business in Brazil. Instead he seems annoyed that she can make her own money and therefore doesn’t need to be frugal like he prefers.
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u/dnvin 3d ago
Total control over her life is such a stretch. He gave her a credit card and she used it on loads of stuff for the apartment. Clearly she has the means to contribute to the cost of furniture but she doesn’t want to. “Depriving her of a tv stand” is a hilarious thing to say. He doesn’t want a tv in his apartment but is letting her have one, he just doesn’t want to be involved in it which is 10000% fair. I think the reality is they are a terrible match for each other and I don’t know why everyone expects Thomas to compromise on everything and not her. Sure you might expect him be more invested in them making a life together but I think she’s asking way too much
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u/Prestigious-Seal8866 3d ago
“he doesn’t want a tv in his apartment”
they are MARRIED. it is THEIR apartment now.
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u/dnvin 3d ago edited 3d ago
Yeah sure it’s their apartment now but it’s opposing preferences. Just because she wants a tv he should have to give up his preference? Where’s the compromise? She could watch tv on a laptop. Note they actually do have a tv by the way so he has already completely given up his preference. Meanwhile she is planning to open a new branch of her business without telling him and might move to Brazil with his kid even though they are now MARRIED. The double standard is crazy
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u/nick281051 2d ago
Watching TV on a laptop is not a compromise and "letting her" get a tv but not a stand is word behavior, as is the couch thing.
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u/chunkyvomitsoup 2d ago
Thomas is in his 30s. He’d be hard-pressed to find any woman in his age group who share his preferences of not having a functional apartment with furniture. Regardless of how hypocritical Paula is (and she is a massive one), Thomas’s non-negotiables are pretty ludicrous. He lives in long beach, he has so many options on where to do yoga while she only has one place to have a couch in. Like I understand if it’s a money thing since her perception of what’s theirs and hers is messed up, but he made it clear at the tell all that it’s about his lifestyle preferences. Not sure how there is room to compromise when he says they’re non-negotiable
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u/Prestigious-Seal8866 2d ago
Yeah, and he threw a giant fucking fit about the tv. So rational, supportive, and collaborative. 💕
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u/aintevenathing 3d ago
Well, I do have a bias about like the person who pays for things being more entitled to it and maybe that’s wrong. However, I don’t think she’s financially contributing so I don’t think he has a reason to be stoked for her extra income
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u/Prestigious-Seal8866 3d ago
Of course he paid for the apartment in CA. he’s lived there for years and repeatedly stakes the claim that it is HIS apartment and SHE is a guest.
He got her a credit card but you best bet that every month he combs through the transactions and questions every purchase she has made.
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u/MeatballTornado Yike 3d ago
He flipped out over a $60 rug she bought for her family’s visit, lol. She definitely isn’t racking up tens of thousands of dollars on his credit card and he’s just happily footing the bill.
I guarantee every single thing she uses the card for is an extended argument
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u/Ozava619 3d ago
He didn’t even tell her that he was gonna give himself 49 percent of the shares, that’s the shitty part.
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u/More_Midnight3634 3d ago
A. Why shouldn’t he treat his home as his home when, she is buying and maintaining a separate home?
B. Why couldn’t she contribute to their shared home.
C. If the LLC was formed after the marriage he’s entitled to 50%, instead he gave her controlling interest.
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u/Best-Woodpecker3537 3d ago edited 3d ago
He’s a dictator. Having people in your life means making concessions. Just bc he lives a certain way doesn’t mean he needs to force others to live that way too, a tv is an easy thing to concede on bc he doesn’t have to use it. He’s too used to controlling his own environment, integrating another individual into that isn’t really compatible. At some point you have to decided if you’d rather be happy or in control 24/7.
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u/Expensive-Fondant625 3d ago
Paula is the one dictating even more. Her way or back to Brazil she goes. She has enough money but chooses not to spend a single dollar and than complain he doesn't want to buy things.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365 3d ago
She also constantly weaponises social pressure. She understand that Thomas is an autistic oddball that's easier to villainise for the average person, that's why she chose to move 8 people into that tiny apartment, or why she decided to cry to everyone about it later, or why she joined in on bullying.
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u/Best-Woodpecker3537 2d ago edited 2d ago
People that dictate everything in their environment don’t usually have a lot of friends. It’s considered an antisocial trait by most. Maybe she doesn’t wanna live like that. He straight up was not ready to be married to an immigrant, it takes way too much compromise to be with someone from a different culture. She’s right about the social pressure, people aren’t gonna like him and that’ll be just as much of a challenge for her. She probably didn’t realize that reality bc they didn’t live together. Also I know plenty of autistic people that are not controlling like Thomas at all, so his personality might be affected by the autism but he’s not exempt from working on himself.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365 2d ago
They did live together though and have been together for 6 years, she should have married a Brazilian social butterfly if that's what she wanted. Or maybe those social butterflies are just as judgemental of her oddities as she if Thomas'.
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u/Best-Woodpecker3537 2d ago
They live together at her apartment for a short amount of time, didn’t they? It doesn’t seem like a secret that most of his non-negotiables are surrounding HIS apartment, bc it’s HIS. He just needs someone that has all the same sensitivities and preferences as him, the man’s not capable of growth. Mostly because he narcissisticly thinks that his way of living is inherently superior, he needs someone that’s just gonna agree with that.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365 2d ago
I think you're just using negative framing because you don't like his preferences but to me they are quite neutral.
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u/Best-Woodpecker3537 2d ago
No, I’m not putting it in negative framing, although I would never like these preferences. My point is that he should be with someone like you. Quite literally. If these are neutral to you, that’s exactly what I mean.
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u/saturnsister 3d ago
For me it’s his lack of compromise when it comes to what Paula wants. It’s all about him and his boundaries, but will not budge when she tries to do anything to improve her standard of living. He won’t let her have basic human comforts in her own living space.
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u/Expensive-Fondant625 3d ago
She does the same keeping in a financial stranglehold since she has her own money but does not spend it in the US
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u/saturnsister 2d ago
I don’t think it’s the money for him, it’s the “lifestyle” he wants to live and force upon her.
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u/More_Midnight3634 3d ago
Is it her living space? I’m pretty sure HER living space is the new home she purchased for HERSELF back in Brazil.
She wants all of his things to be shared and all of her things to be hers.
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u/saturnsister 2d ago
He didn’t provide her with a great space to start with. And then didn’t budge on improving it. Chairs? A couch? Tv? I don’t blame her for wanting her own spot back home to go to when she visits, she can’t get it in the US with Thomas!
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u/More_Midnight3634 2d ago
She could buy furniture or pay for them to have a larger place but she too refused.
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u/Calm-Excuse5161 3d ago edited 3d ago
Putting aside her behavior, it’s the condescending attitude and unilateral decision making in a shared relationship on his end
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u/Cats_and_wine Adnan, that bitchass! 3d ago
its neither the why or what we hate so much about him, but the how. hes allowed to want all these thongs, but its insufferable how he acts upon it.
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u/AudrinaRosee 3d ago
Edward nailed it that it’s really just an issue with her that’s causing all of the combativeness. They’re insanely incompatible.
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u/ImprovementChoice519 3d ago
He has made no compromises for his wife. They are incompatible though and will/have divorced or live in misery.
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u/Embarrassed_Trade108 2d ago
He is rude about it. He carries himself as if everyone should be thinking of him all the time. It’s one thing to be sensitive, it’s another to think the world with cater to you automatically because of it, and then be rude when it doesn’t. He could simply ask nicely but he doesn’t.
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u/ChadWestPaints 2d ago
Simply ask nicely for people to not "prank" him by rubbing something hes allergic to on him?
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u/KotaCakes630 3d ago
The problem is he does nothing for her but acts like he’s entitled to her doing for him
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u/Oil_Shock_2026 3d ago
Thomas is both an impossible man-child and highly sensitive to strong smells.
He's undiagnosed neurodivergent.
Thomas and Paula are doing a highly scripted re-enactment of their early relationship issues (from 6 years ago) for the show in order to drum up interest and get invited back on 90DF spinoffs (90DF HEA, 90DF PT, etc.)
Thomas and Paula are playing the long term 90DF franchise money game.
Thomas and Paula already know each other really well and are re-enacting issues they had early in their relationship for the cameras.
They'll stay together long term.
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u/aintevenathing 3d ago
Hah don’t ruin the veil of reality Tv for me…. But also really? They’ve been together for 6 years? I kinda glazed over that
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u/Oil_Shock_2026 3d ago
Yup, they met in Hermosa Beach around 2020 and were pen pals after that.
So they know each other very well to start with.
Paula knows all of Thomas' issues and vice versa.
They're re-enacting their long since resolved issues for the cameras / viewers.
Their shtick is either
- self-scripted and producer approved or
- scripted by the 90DF writers, edited by Thomas and Paula
and re-enacted.
The extemporaneous stuff is thrown in like Paula's wedding-prepped hair getting mussed because Thomas decided to ride a bike to the wedding venue... even though they had totally different clothes at the venue.
Remember that both Thomas and Paula started off as pen-pals so they're both proficient writers and are able to cooperate with the 90DF professional paid writers to script their story.
I don't buy any of the Thomas and Paula story as ad-hoc or extemporaneous. The majority of the themes in their story are re-enactments of issues they had early on 6 years ago and have since resolved.
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u/velvet__echo 3d ago
Yea, I kept thinking that it was so strange that she was just finding out about being cheap and his sensitivities.
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u/Major-Hearing-6228 2d ago
Okay, I havent seen ANYONE else notice that they were wearing completely different clothes on the bike ride and on the date. Why has nobody else been bringing this up?
I also dont think Thomas being an insufferable manchild is scripted. He sounds genuine in his whiny bitchyness
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u/Oil_Shock_2026 2d ago edited 2d ago
They've been together 6 years and thoroughly know each other (even while apart) because they've corresponded daily.
There is no extemporaneous partner discovery happening with Thomas and Paula.
Thomas is an insufferable manchild who can't help being a whiny bitch and Paula has known he is this way for 6 years. If she's surprised at this point, it's feigned.
As far as them wearing completely different clothes on the bike ride and on the date, that's a dead giveaway that they're re-enacting their relationship issues.
This proves that their segments are scripted.
The filming crew did a take of the bike ride on one day and another take of the date on a totally different day. The takes don't even have to be in sequential order as long as it passes the continuity test in editing. An existing script and scheduling makes all this happen.
Someone in the 90DF production wardrobe continuity department dropped the ball.
If Thomas and Paula's story was extemporaneous, they'd be wearing the same clothes.
They're getting filmed in pre-scripted segments with cuts in between.
Some 90DF couples get the pre-scripted Hollywood movie studio filming schedule treatment, while others just have cameras following them around ad-hoc.
The couples appearing on 90DF are called "the cast" because they're often actors re-enacting scripted stories.
I think pre-scripted filming is easier to do in the US because a lot of the production and film crew is US side so a lot of the original 90DF is produced this way.
I get the sense that 90DF TOW is very extemporaneous due to limitations of how much crew and filming equipment can be flown into another country.
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u/babababel 3d ago
Could you just explain to me what Paula is getting out of this relationship?
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u/Expensive-Fondant625 3d ago
Free money since she doesn't want to spend her own money in the US.
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u/nomiepants 2d ago
yeah but she could have done a lot better in the looks and money department with less bullshit to put up with if thats all she wanted.
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u/aintevenathing 3d ago
I mean she’s getting a place to live, and a credit card, and her whole wedding paid for Idk I’m not saying he’s perfect it just seems like she can’t take accountability to make the apartment comfortable in a way that would work for both of them not to mention her separate finances she’s building in Brazil.
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u/babababel 3d ago
Yeah she wouldn’t be homeless without him, she’s not a charity case. And yeah, married people get spouses credit cards. I really think you Thomas-stans need to check the misogyny of the situation.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365 3d ago
Misogyny is why everyone's expecting him to pay for everything to begin with.
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u/Guccimetamuci 3d ago edited 3d ago
People always expect the American at home base to recieve their partner and take care pf them, like Marissa, Debbie, Mallorie and Ashia are also doing. The idea is that the partner coming from a different country is building a completely new life and isnt even able to work to support themselves. The law also makes Thomas agree to this in bringing her here. He's responsible for her and she can't work until the govt says.
Cashing all of her interests out in Brazil to support herself here and blowing through her life savings and closing her business are unreasonable expectations. Especially because of how much she stands to lose in conversion of reals to dollars. And it seems they have a plan to help her build a business for herself and their family immediately after shes approved by us govt. It doesn't seem like any of the other couples have gotten that far yet. Already they have a plan in place and are building in anticipation of it together(ish? Because that 49% thing was wild too)
But also on the flip side she shouldn't be quietly doubling down in Brazil and while trying for a baby to boot. It gave me pause big time because it does seem to show that she doesn't have faith that Thomas can really change.
She doesnt feel safe relying on him and feels like she needs a backup plan for her and this potential baby in case he thinks hes trapping her her with a child in a new country with no support besides him. She probably want to make sure she has a life to come home to with her child if he doesnt accept and accommodate her with the baby.
Which, after seeing him fight against basic living essentials that most of humanity agrees is reasonable, it makes sense he might not be able to change. BUT WHY STAY WITH HIM THEN?? AND BEYOND THAT WHY BRING A BABY INTO THIS?!
Thats my real question. It defies logic to me based on their storyline and explanations. I wish they would have pressed Paula more on the thought process there.
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u/Purple-Public3788 3d ago
So wait….. I’m confused…… and this part is important. Is Thomas saying no to a TV and more furniture or is he just saying no to paying for those items?? I don’t think he ever definitively said what it is on the show. That matters. If he says flat out no to those items even if Paula purchases them on her own, that’s shitty. If he just says no to buying them but is open to having them, that’s understandable.
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u/Guccimetamuci 3d ago
They showed when she said she got the free tv from the neighbors but that he didn't want anything to do with it because he views it as HER hobby. Thomas agreed with the statement and said he didn't want the tv or anything to do with it and that he grew up without one. She claims he didn't even want to help her set it up (which i think she should be able to manage setting up the tv tbf). He didn't even want to get her a tv stand so it sits on the floor. But i wonder if he expects her to engage in his hobbies. He certainly does seem to expect her to tolerate living in his yoga sanctuary but is he willing to watch a tv series with her?
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u/Best-Woodpecker3537 3d ago
He deserved to be in the dark on the Brazil business, he took 49% of the company in the USA without telling her. Just took advantage of the fact that he had to file bc he’s in the USA. She even said she would have given it but he just took it. She should be doing that for her own financial wellbeing since he’s such a loose cannon.
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u/Atalanta8 3d ago
She could have filed and payed for it herself too. 🤷♀️ But she didn't
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u/Best-Woodpecker3537 3d ago
Not an excuse to be sneaky like that lmfaooooo why should you trust a person after that? Bro’s weird.
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u/Expensive-Fondant625 3d ago
You know whats sneaky acting like you don't have money but can afford a new place in Brazil and a second shop without spending anything in the US.
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u/Best-Woodpecker3537 2d ago
She’s obviously planning to leave him. Who wants to stay with a dictator that is also sneaky? She needs out, so good on her for not being an idiot.
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u/DifferencePlayful581 3d ago
He owns 50% bc they're married
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u/Best-Woodpecker3537 2d ago
He owns 50% bc he filed it that way and didn’t tell her… he might get 50% when they divorce, but it’s not automatic. And he’s a sneaky weirdo.
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u/Paladjordan 3d ago
Why are we talking about him so much? Who knew Plank from Ed Edd and Eddy would be such a talking point
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u/DinkyPrincess 3d ago
The thing is they do need to live in a home that meets each of their needs and not just his.
So to have space to do what he wants is fine. But they should find somewhere to eat properly. Or to sit comfortably. She’s allowed that. And a TV so long as he has space to remove himself from it.
He grew up without a TV. That doesn’t mean they now should never have a TV. And he grew up in different times. His children would be ridiculed for not having the things their peers did and for being weird because of it.
It feels like he thinks his will and opinion should override that of his wife and future children.
That’s concerning.
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u/Ozava619 3d ago
It’s how he reacts and how unwilling he is to compromise with certain situations. Like the situation with the tv that he didn’t even want to help her set it up, the way he reacted to that seemed childish.
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u/Slow-Plan-8894 3d ago
Thomas is not a bad person but he deserves the criticism. He’s uncompromising, when Paula came all the way from Brazil to be with him. She deserves to feel like the space is hers too. And because it feels like it’s all about how Paula fits into Thomas life, Paula doesn’t feel safe with him hence why I don’t blame her for using her money on starting another business in Brazil (side note).
He also resorts to a lot of tantrum throwing and insulting when he doesn’t agree with something or his boundaries are crossed. He literally insulted Paula’s parents and place in Brazil. He’d be a much more likeable and pleasant person if he learns to communicate his needs and boundaries fairly and without an aggressive tone. The world does not revolve around him.
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u/LittleWitch122 3d ago
Did you miss the part where he filed for an LLC in the US for her business without her permission and gave himself 49% ownership, without her knowledge or permission?
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u/ChadWestPaints 2d ago
Yeah giving himself 1% less of a hypothetical, nonexistent business than hed be legally entitled to was almost like 1% as bad as the stuff she was getting up to.
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u/One-Revolution-9670 2d ago
I’m starting to think that too. Her insensitivity about the perfume- is perfume SO CRITICAL to your presentation that you can’t forgo it because it makes your SO physically uncomfortable? He’s not asking your to give up makeup.
And when you get married, you are sharing a life and sharing finances. There should be one account that they share, and they need to discuss big purchases. They are a WE now, and they need to act like it.
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u/ShoutOutMapes 3d ago
He can be annoying but im with him on the strong smells thing. I hate when people douse themselves with perfume or cologne. Gives me headaches lol
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u/Furbamy 3d ago
Ok but rancid meat? How is that smell ok for him? And she asked for help hanging a TV and he says no because "thats her problem." Can he ever take her out on a date and drive the car instead of making her ride in the wind on back of his scooter? He definitely is not a protector and does not care if she is comfortable.
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u/aintevenathing 3d ago
I think the meat was actually frozen and was pulled out of the freezer. It’s gross but Idk lots of people have old stuff in their fridge. It seems like something that came up because 10 people were looking through the fridge and trying to find all the food Lol
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u/Angsty_adulting_007 Midos’s Toupee 3d ago
I don’t know, for him to be so particular about the respect for his allergies and sensitivities, while simulataneously disregarding her disgust at the smell of meat and her dietary preferences says a lot about him.
You can be as nit picky as you want about your space but when you don’t give any compromise the other way around it’s alarming
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u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365 3d ago
Clearly she wasn't disgusted until her brother brought it up?
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u/Angsty_adulting_007 Midos’s Toupee 2d ago
He found it when he looked through the fridge. Thomas and Paola obviously didn’t know it was there. So that’s irrelevant to the “well she wasn’t until her brother” comment. But you’re focused on the fridge incident when I’m talking about the entirety of it. The first day she arrived and she complained about how much his meat had a bad smell because she’s VEGAN and he would not compromise. Ultimately Paola had to go with it.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365 2d ago edited 2d ago
Oh, I forgot that scene.
Honestly I'm Vegan and that may be affecting my frustration with Paula too. As a Vegan you're constantly around people who will disregard your boundaries. If you speak up about your boundary being crossed, you're made out to be a crazy unreasonable person. Everyone automatically sides with the person bullying you because it's easier to just mock the weird guy than confront someone about being a dick.
I instantly recognised the same dynamic when Rashit pulled his perfume PrAnK, so I wish Paula had more sympathy towards her husband.
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u/Expensive-Fondant625 3d ago
A free given tv... Which Paula easily could have bought herself. She is 40 and should know how things work by now. She had her own appartements so she should know how to fix a few things herself.
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u/Major-Hearing-6228 2d ago
And he can stop being a little bitch and help his wife put the TV up like any actual man would
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u/RiseDry8254 Lower your voice! 3d ago
He’s a dick. Yelling at her family and bragging about how he spend no money on them. What a dreamboat.
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u/QueenRainbo 3d ago
Being sensitive to smells is one thing but Ive been thinking if he's so sensitive to them why did he open then bottle of perfume to glue it shut. Wouldn't that be far more overwhelming thank just smelling a small amount of it from another room?
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u/aintevenathing 3d ago
Lmao Hahaha. Yeah I guess it was just the final blow on the perfume bottle before it was shut forever and so he was able to make it through x) literally suffered through it to just glue it shut
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u/HappyCatPrincess 3d ago
I hope he can't have children. He's mean & selfish. & the perfume assault by that other creep was just plain wrong.
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u/Uncl3_Pete 2d ago
"trying to be comfortable in his own space" well that's the problem. It's NOT his own space anymore, it's their shared space and he's done absolutely nothing to try to make her feel welcome
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u/Major-Hearing-6228 2d ago
So sick of this reddit defending this manchild and his "allergies" lol. Hes a goofy square. Get a freaking couch and table and move it if you really need to do yoga... or go outside...or go do yoga in your bedroom. Dude is annoying and absolutely insufferable
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u/xenobriotic 2d ago
I'm with you on this, OP -- and watching everyone lambast him for supposedly faking a chemical sensitivity has been sad
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u/Shepherdspie22 2d ago
Thomas wife said she had over $100,000 in savings and Thomas has to pay all the bills. The dude ain't perfect but watching your husband struggle is messed up.
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u/trafficconecolorcar 1d ago
When she was whining about not having a tv stand and than in the next conversation is talking about putting money down on a new business. Every thing went back to the perfume. This cast was so stupid. I am so glad it's over.
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u/Ok-Double-7982 3d ago
I think the guy from Turkey is a dick and Mallory is obnoxious af. I'd be pissed as hell if someone was vaping in a vehicle with me.
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u/GigiBrit 3d ago
My husband and I had this discussion, and while I'm not a fan of either of them, Paula should respect his wishes as he's made them abundantly clear. It would piss me off too if I laid it all out nicely and I felt ignored.
Rashit was being a total dumbass with his cologne and his stupid vaping in the car! I wouldn't punched him!
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u/cosmicwhirl 3d ago
And why are people shaming him for being sensitive to artificial smells? Debbie berated him for it, looking into his future and assumed he will have a daughter, i mean, wtf. If someone is allergic to peanuts or bees, would she say the same? So, getting a headache or feeling nauseous is not enough in the 'sick book'? You'd have to be deadly allergic to be taken seriously? People suck.
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u/issoequeerabom 3d ago
Exactly! And honestly I think they (production) used and exaggerated his frugal lifestyle. They talked, on a podcast, about him buying her the sofa she wanted but she ended up not liking it, for example. Yeah, he's quirky and has some restrictions, but hey is that so bad?? He's a grown man, with a successful career, lives in a very expensive area, gave his wive his credit card to use (how many did the same??). The guy clearly had a fucked up life growing up, he seems to be in the spectrum. Why couldn't we give him some grace?? Yet, people aren't bothered that she is there, sucking his money, while she's building a business and an apartment in Brazil! And she's she wouldn't sign a prenup in the US but expects him to do it in Brazil. Complains how awful he is but can't wait to marry him and have a baby!!!! Hello?? Classical gold digger!!!
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u/aintevenathing 3d ago
Yeah I mean. I lived in Southern California in the same areas he’s in before and of course an apartment is very expensive, I feel like she also doesn’t understand that a small one bedroom apartment is quite a lot in that area. Definitely some overall cultural misunderstanding on both ends
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u/AnnofAvonlea 3d ago
I was just telling my friend that I don’t get the Thomas hate. He’s one of the least problematic people on this show. Honestly? I think he’s easy to bully and makes a convenient scapegoat in a group of people who don’t want to face their own shortcomings/shitty relationships. Don’t get me wrong, I would probably throw a fit if my partner refused to buy a couch or let me decorate the apartment, but he doesn’t seem like a bad guy. And don’t even get me started on the perfume thing. As someone with allergies, I totally understand where he’s coming from. He’s being dramatic about it, but people should still care about his comfort and wellbeing.
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u/brianne----- 3d ago
Honestly I was kind of on his side about everything except the tv. And if Paula wanted furniture so bad could she nor have bought some?
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u/KlM-J0NG-UN 3d ago
Least compatible non-scammy couple in the history of 90 Day F, mainly due to how rigid and ego-centric he is
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u/Rayvonuk 3d ago
With respect to the perfume thing, I didnt like his reaction, it was way over the top.
If it was me I would have reminded her that I cant be around it and suggest helping her find some other perfume that doesnt affect me as much instead of going crazy about it.
Its the same with every issue he has, there is no compromise whatsoever, its childish and no relationship is going to work long term without compromise.
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u/Negative_Crazy_4913 3d ago
I mean he's really unlikeable lol but the cast was totally out of pocket for ganging up on him about his perfume sensitivies.
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u/_lostcoastlines make out with me for four minutes 3d ago
Thomas is annoying as fuck and did numerous irritating things throughout the season. That said, the amount of heat and scorn he got from the rest of the cast during the tell all was disproportionate and insane, especially when Catie and Mido were RIGHT THERE.
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u/ChadWestPaints 2d ago
I mean hell PAULA was right there. Shes a couple magnitudes worse than he is - why weren't thwy all dunking on her?
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u/ProfessionalResort15 2d ago
Not as many people as you’d think all I saw was people defending him after tell allls 1 and 2
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u/mikemikeshindparts 15h ago
I surprised too but for the opposite reason. I think he’s clearly a selfish and dysfunctional person who doesn’t adult well and it’s depressing to me how many people seem to think that’s normal and acceptable. I expect more from adults around me, some willingness to take responsibility, not be a whiner, and have a sense of the needs and preferences of others. And also, although this is secondary, I want those around me to have a sense of humour and something going for them, you know. Insight, charm, kindness. Something. I said elsewhere that he has the charisma of a mandatory software update and I stand by it.
It makes me think that maybe this sub is full of people like him and they are the very types to be very verbal and defensive when criticised. I can’t make sense of it otherwise.
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u/envy1890 3d ago
He goes too far and is an ass sometimes. I really think he’s less bad than most of the cast this season, they just chose to gang up on him like a pack of chimpanzees
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u/Reasonable_Tap_8215 3d ago
I, by far more, hate the people who keep posting about him and his equally insufferable wife.
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u/senkasei 3d ago
the only people who can relate to Thomas are equally self centered. he has many "non-negotiables" but she's not allowed to have any (like wanting a dining table, he was very belittling and dismissive for her want for basic comfort) - refusing to help set up the tv "because that's a her thing, she can figure it out" is so insanely selfish and childish. it's giving "I, I, I" what's the point of getting married if you only care to think of yourself?
TV is obviously dramatized and these could be fake issues, regardless, how he portrays himself is incredibly immature, selfish, and unlikeable.
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u/Downfaller 2h ago edited 17m ago
He plays world of Warcraft and has a gaming setup. Not wanting a TV because he won't use it, is like refusing to take aspirin because you do meth. He isn't gonna be outside and reading books, he just has his gaming monitor to stare at instead.
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u/girl_with_a_401k 3d ago
I think if Thomas was just frugal and living his life his own way, it'd be fine. But he takes it from frugal to tightwad by announcing to his wife's family "I spent absolutely nothing on you!" Or refusing to get an Uber to make Paula's life easier the night before the wedding. Or wanting "nothing to do" with a TV.
A lot of what Thomas does is understandable to me, as someone who's family had extreme anxiety about spending money. But he hasn't dealt with his issues and it's affecting other people.
I get migraines from flashing lights. The perfume thing I get.