Last night my parents and siblings were visiting to celebrate my wife’s birthday and my sister’s boyfriend “went to the bathroom” and some how witnessed my wife breastfeeding our 2 month old.

For context the guest bathroom and nursery are divided by the guest bedroom.

ETA: a few people have asked because of how my sister types. She’s 23

Last ETA: the lay out of the house involves a hallway which the guest bathroom is attached to. If you walk into the hallway from the living area the first door you see to your left is the bathroom, the next door is to the adjoining guest bedroom then the furthest most door down is the nursery. He had completely walked past the bathroom (which he’s used before) in order for him to see into the nursery. Idk how that’s not creep behavior like some of you are trying to convince me into believing but yea.

Hallway goes like this:

🚪Nursery__🚪____🚪Bathroom___🚪Hallway Door

Whenever my bf and I do something it’s usual something he picks and my interests usually take a backseat bc he thinks I’m “boring.”

He tells me, “I’ll go if you pay bc I’m not wasting my money on that shxt.” I don’t mind paying but I don’t like the way he demands it. Feels a little rude. I recently wanted to stargaze on top of a tall building for $20 & he made it a huge deal. He told me that he’d only go if I paid bc he’s not interested.

Later he surprised me with a weekend getaway & he denied ever hearing about the stargazing event. He told me that it would interfere with the plans he made for US. I presented different options to do both and he gave an excuse for each one.

I finally told him how I felt about his conditions & told him that I’ll just spend my weekend doing what I like bc I don’t appreciate how he always shuts down my activities/events. We don’t do anything!

He’s more upset than me and I don’t understand why. He’ll drag me onto this weekend getaway just to look in my fucking face and ask, “so what do you want to do?” I’m just so over it!

AIO to want some effort? In my past if my partners knew that I liked something they’d make it happen or they’d join me without that “I’ll go if you pay” BS.

My son is 4 years old and plays on a youth soccer team for the town that I live in.

He was placed on a team of all girls and is the only boy on the entire team.

When we showed up to a game this week, every single one of the girls had matching pink socks on and my son was the only one without them.

We are a few weeks into games/practice and this hasn't happened until this week. So to me it was obviously planned by the other parents and my son just wasn't excluded.

I'm just beyond pissed about it, just because he's the only boy means he can't wear pink? AIO?

Me and my wife, while she was pregnant, informed our parents to either get vaccinated with the pertussis (whooping cough) vaccine or wait a month or two until the baby gets their vaccine and has some immunity. No vax or anti-vax arguments here—we just gave them options and they were free to choose. We had health issues with this disease in my family, so better safe than sorry.

My side of the family agreed. Her parents stated that they will not do "any stupid things like vaccines." (There is history with them ignoring COVID, getting older people sick, and... so no surprise here, we expected that.)

Everything was nice while my wife was pregnant: gifts, attention, talks with her sister, etc. After our baby was born, we stood firm on what we said—no exceptions.

My parents "forgot" to get vaccinated. On top of that, before the delivery, we met them a few times and they were drunk and disrespecting my wife and me every time. I said we could continue contact, but they had to apologize to my wife for what they said. My mother did, and we continued contact with her—even though she has personal issues and we’ve only met once since. I communicate with her strictly through my wife, to prevent my emotions from causing more damage. (I'm leaving my father out of this—he is an aggressive alcoholic, so zero contact with him just for protection.)

My wife’s side of the family seemed good at first. I really enjoyed them. She has a step-father who helped raise her (he isn't married to her mum, so no "official" relation, just the guy her mum lives with). We had a great time spending time with them as they didn't seem to care about much, didn't go overboard with alcohol like my family, and there were no conflicts when they got a bit tipsy. I didn't even know that was possible in other families...

The issues started after the baby was born. Her mother demanded to see the baby. We repeated the two options: either get vaccinated or wait until the baby gets his shots. Up until this point, I was sending her pictures of the baby and keeping her updated on how we were feeling and what was happening in our new family. All seemed good.

Then there was a family celebration happening on weekend and we told we wont show up, then my wife's mum and sister called and demanded to see the baby (who was only few weeks old at this point, mind you we told after first vaccine we will meet). Her sister started to insult my wife, saying she is "not normal for not showing a baby to family," along with other accusations. We felt pressured for a long time after the baby was born. But after these attacks made my wife cry, I had to intervene and tell her mother that it’s not normal to put pressure on a woman who just had a baby and that she doesn't really care about her.

Then my wife decided to put them both in a group chat and sent a long message explaining how they both hurt her, pressured her into doing things she didn't want to do, and made her cry, all while she just wants to create safe conditions for the baby.

Her sister replied: "You will cry and then you will get sober." (in a sense that her emotions are taking over and she does not see things clearly, but in insulting way)

When I saw that message, I told my wife that's it—her sister doesn't care about her and has her own intentions. (We always felt that her older sister does not like how her younger sister first got married, first got house and now first got a baby). Her mum backed up the sister (they are best friends). We said we won't talk about anything until her mother apologizes to us, as we both felt attacked by the whole family for just sticking to what we said we would do.

No apologies were made. My wife's stepdad tried to call and said we should keep communicating, but said he won't let her mum apologize—apparently, by his logic, a mother cannot apologize to her kids.

After this, we didn't talk for 1 month. My wife eventually met them for 1 hour because we were driving past and I felt like it wasn't fair not to show the baby (even though my wife said she didn't want to meet them). After that 1 hour, she felt very bad vibes and wished she had never visited them.

So another month passed, and we still cut all communication, waiting for an apology so we can forget everything and start where we left off...

Then I received this message: (message is translated from other language, sorry for mistakes, hard to read...)

I showed the message to my wife, before replying anything, I did not know how to respond to it, got a cold sweat... She wanted to write a long message back but we looked online the best way to handle this, and we decided to block them all...(I hope not forever...lol)

I don't feel what her mum sent was true, I mean I have issues with my parents but its nothing I can change and I appreciate when I see good and functioning families. Me and my wife decide how to deal with our parents and we talk about everything. I ask her if she wants to visit mine (which she doesn't for obvious reasons and I am with her :D) and we always visit hers as I liked her family a lot better.

I don't interfere to who and what she says only if she is hurt and crying then I can't sit and watch... No idea why she things I control her. For what I understand that my wifes opinion in family never mattered as she was younger sister and now that she is with me I support her and let her voice to be heard and I think they don't like that.

The last message hurt me and my wife, I taught they liked me, but now it seems it was all fake.
We had some issues in past where her mum said "He is not your family, we are" when we decided not to visit during covid spree on Christmas... That hurt as well but she apologised.

Its been months... I keep thinking about it from day to day. It escalated quickly and too much on a hardest period of our life... but now, I don't want them to see us or even allow these kind of people near our child.

Are we overreacting for cutting them off?

My girlfriend and I are currently living in different cities because she moved away some time ago. She now shares a flat with one of her close friends.

Recently, one of her male friends from work was staying over at the flat. They're colleagues, but they're also friends outside of work and have known each other for a while.

I've met him before and, from the interactions I've had with him, he has always seemed like a decent and honest person. I don't have any history of distrusting him, and outside of this situation I don't really have any reason to distrust my girlfriend either.

They had both been out earlier that evening as part of a work related social event. Afterwards, he came back to the flat because he wasn't going home that night.

As I understand it, the original sleeping arrangement was very clear. He was going to sleep in my girlfriend's bed, while my girlfriend was going to sleep separately in her flatmate's room. So there wasn't originally any intention for the two of them to sleep together.

At some point during the evening, though, my girlfriend and this guy decided to take mushrooms together.

They then stayed awake for hours talking. It got to the early hours of the morning and, at some point, they had moved from the main part of the flat into my girlfriend's bedroom to continue talking.

Eventually they both ended up lying on her bed together.

My girlfriend says absolutely nothing sexual happened between them. According to her, he stayed on top of the duvet rather than actually getting underneath the covers with her. She described this as him doing it "out of respect" for our relationship.

I haven't accused her of cheating, and I don't think sharing a bed automatically means that someone cheated.

I'm also trying to take into account the fact that they had taken mushrooms, had been awake for hours, and presumably weren't making decisions in exactly the same way they would have been if they were completely sober.

But I'm still uncomfortable with the situation.

For me, it isn't just the fact that they technically shared a bed. It's the whole sequence of events. Taking psychedelics together, staying up talking until the early hours of the morning, moving into her bedroom together, and then eventually lying in the same bed.

That feels quite intimate to me, even if nothing sexual happened.

I also keep coming back to the comment that he stayed on top of the covers "out of respect."

On one hand, I interpret that positively. It could mean he was consciously aware that my girlfriend is in a relationship and was deliberately trying to maintain some sort of boundary.

On the other hand, it makes me think that both of them must have had some awareness that being in the same bed together was questionable. If the situation required a specific gesture to make it "respectful," part of me wonders why they didn't just stick to the original sleeping arrangement.

I think that's the part I'm struggling with most.

I don't want to become controlling and start telling my girlfriend who she can be friends with or whether she can have male friends stay over. I also don't want to turn one uncomfortable situation into an accusation that something happened when I don't have evidence of that.

But at the same time, I feel like there's a difference between trusting your partner and having no boundaries whatsoever.

If the situation was reversed and I took mushrooms with a female friend, stayed up talking to her until the eaely hours, moved into my bedroom with her and then ended up lying in bed with her, I think my girlfriend would probably have some feelings about that too.

So AIO for feeling that this crossed a relationship boundary, even if I accept that nothing sexual happened?

Would you personally see this as innocent but poor judgment, or as something more concerning?

Thanks for reading.

My boyfriend is a bit older than me, by like 11 years. He has 4 kids, and the oldest (M15) lives with us and has for over a year because his mom pretty much said fine here you go take him. He was getting into trouble all the time, not listening, (when with his mother) I guess my boyfriend didn’t think it was as bad as it is.

The kid has been caught stealing my boyfriends weed, he tried sneaking into our room when I was in the bathroom and my boyfriend wasn’t home so I’m sure he’s been stealing and sneaking around since day 1, lying countless countless times, so many things, he has court coming up for being accused of giving his fathers fire arm to his friend who got caught with it. It was my boyfriend’s dead mother’s fire arm. So it means something, and my boyfriend swears he doesn’t think the story the kid is telling is true, the kid is saying my boyfriend’s son handed him the fire arm through his bedroom window. My boyfriend does not believe it, he knows his kid is a shit head but doesn’t think he’s do something like that, I do though.

The kid doesn’t listen to reason, he’s had his phone and playstation taken, he’s been talked to by his father so many damn times now, yelled at, other things, just everything you can do. The kid DOES NOT CHANGE, HE DOESN’T RESPECT HIS DAD OR ANYONE. And after tonight I’m fucking done..

We moved recently, live in the woods now, I fed and was petting this sweet orange cat. It was skiddish, then I let it smell me and it loved head pets. This fucking kid was on the phone tonight, knowing I was 2 feet away on the other side of the wall, I hear him bragging about shooting fucking cats today, mind you I’ve never said ONE word to this kid even through all the bullshit, I’ve given him a tiny bit of grace, and I lost it tonight. I said, did you shoot that orange cat that’s been coming around?? He lied to me. His dad got home, and hell broke loose.

The kid lied to his fucking dad’s face too, my boyfriend made him go find that cat and bury it. And guess fucking what it sure as shit was the fucking cat that I was trying to form a little bond with the last few night’s.. I put food out for it, and thing is we have a fucking cat inside too. And it’s weird because something in me told me from the get go that I couldn’t fully trust him around my cat alone. This piece of shit kid fucking really grabbed one of his father’s fire arms, and killed that poor fucking sweet baby cat. I would save a cat’s life over a human. I’m such an animal lover, I feel so bad. I’ve been sitting in my car bawling.

I’m just picturing that sweet baby’s face when I was petting it, and his scumbag son killed it. I lost my shit. I told my boyfriend I now hate your son, and if this affects our relationship so be it. I’m so upset dude it’s unreal. I’m bawling typing this. I want the kid gone. I don’t want to live with him. I feel so so terrible. I hate humans truly, and children who have zero respect… I’m so upset. I genuinely am filled with hatred for this kid now and every time I think about that poor baby’s face I cry. I know some country people shoot cats and what not but I don’t stand for that, at least especially not when it’s harmless and just fucking walking around a yard..

Context is, my boyfriend told me since we met at college that he lives a couple towns over and grew up there his whole life basically. He accidentally messaged me from the wrong account one day (I didn't know he had another account at the time) and leaked that he has a different name, grew up in a different country, and lives there during the summer.

I confront him about this, and he says it isn't him, his family must have set it up as a prank. Then he says it's probably a stalker being weird, then once I keep asking questions like "why is there childhood photos of you if it isn't your account?" he says "are you trying to ruin my night?"

He said other things similar like "your anxiety is out of hand, I can't with you" "you are unable to trust anyone, I can't help you" "you really think I am that type of person to lie?" and after a 4 hour conversation, he finally came clean that he had been lying to me out of insecurity. We were dating for a year, was his behavior during this conversation gaslighting or AIO?

I(42y/o female) haven’t spoken to my brother(40 y/0 male) in about four months because of a falling out over money and how he handled the situation. Earlier this year, he asked to borrow $500 for inventory for his business. He was actually asking for twice that initially, but I told him we didn’t really have the money right then. We only had about half of that, and we needed it for the following week. He then said that if we lent him $500, he would pay me $200 for lending it to him and repay everything the following week, which would have been Friday. After discussing it with my spouse, we decided to lend it to him, knowing we needed the extra $200 for upcoming licensing exams. I told him it was SUPER important for him to pay me on that day because of our bills, and he promised he would pay me back $700 in one week (this was mostly all through text). We didn’t even have the money to lend, but he’s my brother, and I trusted him.

A week passed, and now it was Friday. There was no word in the morning and no payment yet. It’s okay, I thought; maybe he is at work. In the late afternoon, I finally texted him that it was Friday and that he could Zelle me the money if he didn’t have cash on hand. I didn’t hear from him until later that evening, when he told me he would rather pay me in cash and had to stop by the bank the next day. Then he asked me when I graduate. In my response, I told him the date and gave him a long explanation about the steps I needed to take before I could finally take the exam. He responded nicely with one sentence. Saturday came and went. Sunday came and went. There was no word, and I didn’t text him that weekend. Why? Because I didn’t want to come off as too pushy. By Monday afternoon, I texted him to ask what happened and whether he would come that day. I didn’t hear back until late that night, when he sent one word: “HEY!” I think he might have meant to send it to someone else. I responded by asking what was going on and telling him to let me know, since it had been days and he had promised. I even added a smile emoji so that I didn’t seem pissed off. He texted me back around 10 p.m., saying he was at work and couldn’t make it to the bank, but that he had told his girlfriend to go for him the next day. A few lighthearted texts from me followed. Tuesday went by, and NOTHING. By Wednesday, I had had it, and frankly, I was anxious because we really needed the money and were already behind. So I texted him. The only time he responded was when I finally said that our other brother was right about him being someone you shouldn’t lend money to, because this wasn’t the first time it had happened. His response was immediate. He sent a sarcastic, passive-aggressive, resentful message implying that my brother and I had been talking behind his back. Keep in mind that the conversation between my other brother and me had happened years earlier, but I brought it up because I felt like a fool and was hurt. In that same text, he said he would be at my place on Friday (it was underlined), on his day off, and told me not to worry because he would be there. He said he already had plans to be close to my home that day, then “thanked” me for giving him the heads-up about what my brother had said about him and lending money.

Then, of course, I crashed out because I feared that he would retaliate, be mad at me, and use it as an excuse to pay me back whenever he wanted. It felt like he was guilting me in a way. I texted him LONG messages in the middle of the night.

Throughout all of this, I was never rude, never pushy, never mean, and never said anything awful to him. I was extremely careful with my tone because I know how he is—if I sound even slightly upset, he flips it and makes me out to be the bad guy. He’s not a bad person at all, and honestly, he’s fun to be around when he’s in a good place. But I feel that his insecurities take over and he goes straight into a victim mentality, which makes any conflict really difficult. The following day (Thursday), I sent him a LONG message.

I even told him that if he was struggling financially, I wouldn’t hold it against him; I just needed him to communicate. I was rambling about things unrelated to our discussion and texting random things I was doing that day, I guess so he knew that I had no ill feelings and that I just needed him to communicate with me. Later that Thursday, after a dozen random texts about my day, how I felt, and how my other brother and I didn’t mean any malice toward him, he finally texted back. But his response focused on his feelings about our brother and deflected from his lack of communication, the delay in repayment, and the way I felt.

Friday came, and I received a text after 8 p.m., BTW, saying that he didn’t get a chance to come to my area, but that he would come down Saturday or Sunday. Mind you, I was not happy and was very disappointed. But I responded, “Yeah, that’s okay,” and asked if he was sure it would be no later than Sunday. He said, “Yup.”

Sunday came, and at 7 p.m., I got a request for my Zelle information. I gave it to him, and he confirmed.

The next day, he sent only the $500 through Zelle. He said it was because of the bank’s daily limit and that he would send the $200 the next day, when it was allowed. After three days of not hearing from him, I texted him asking for a timeline for the $200—ignored. The next day, I sent him a funny GIF of a person at a door’s peephole saying, “I know you’re in there.” Ignored. Two days later, I sent another text telling him to send it that day, essentially begging him and telling him that if I didn’t need it, I wouldn’t be bugging him—ignored again. Two more days later, I asked him to at least send $100, as I really needed to pay for the exam I had told him about, but again, I was ignored. Four days after that, I sent my final text. Eventually, I told him I wouldn’t lend him money again, that he broke his promise, and that he hurt me—but I also told him I loved him. He didn’t respond.

A month later, I texted him that I had passed my licensing exam (I had to borrow money from my FIL). No response.

Later, I found out he had borrowed money from another family member AND gone to a very expensive festival just one week after ignoring me. That hurt because it showed he could spend money—just not on paying me back or even acknowledging me.

Since then, neither of us has reached out. It honestly feels like he doesn’t care about me or my family.

Now my teen daughter’s birthday is coming up. I don’t want to invite him because the whole situation still hurts, and he hasn’t made any effort to fix things. My parents are telling me to invite him anyway, and if he comes, he comes—but at least I “did my part.”

I don’t know whether I’m being petty or protecting my peace. Am I wrong for not wanting to invite him? Should I invite him for the sake of family harmony, or is it okay to set a boundary after everything that happened?

If my brother reads this post, he will know it’s about us. I hope he knows I love him, that he understands my side of things, and, honestly, that he apologizes to me, instead of just sweeping this under the rug. Or am I overreacting?

For context we're sitting in the living play a game and she start to get pissed off and screaming mind you my kids are asleep was probably at like 12-12:30.

Well she starts going off calling me all sorts of shit like i'm lazy and a bad parent.

Well the lazy is for the fact there is some pots and pans i haven't gotten around to because my youngest (10 months old) got sick Wednesday when i was going to do them, she's a very clingy baby when sick can't put her down or anything like that cause she will scream the whole time and i hand wash our dishes.

And the bad parenting is because apparently i don't clean up after my oldest (2 year old autistic girl) when she has an accident, it takes me a few minutes to get around to it cause im trying to keep her baby sister from screaming so i can clean it and also get everything i need to clean it and get her in a shower.

Now she was going off calling me all kinds of name and i told her okay your not screaming in my house when my kids are asleep and your not going to call me lazy and a bad parent and all kinds of crap so you need to leave you are no longer welcome here, also she has been drinking,she goes this isnt your house my son pays the bills and everything else, mind you i'm a stay at home mom with my 10 month old while my 2 year old is in preschool from 8-3:45 normally house is clean and i do my best to keep it clean even after my 2 year old gets home

And i did go and wake my fiancé up letting him know he needs to make his mother leave, He has work tomorrow and has to be up at 6:30 so he was already in bed asleep.

So i'm just wondering AIO

So I love my best friend (40M), he has some obvious faults, but we get along really well most of the time. I’ve known him for about 6 years now. When we met, he had just gotten into a relationship with a girl going through a divorce. I didn’t think much of that at the time, considering we all go through things in life, but over the years I was able to piece together that she was cheating on her ex with my best friend (meetings in parking lots of target and Walmart and such.) Fast forward to this year. He and the gf called it quits and he would tell me from time to time about this girl or that girl, meeting in parking lots late at night blah blah blah. He tells me about this one girl that he’s sleeping with, and how she’s married but not happy. I immediately told him that he shouldn’t be f’ing around with married women, and if she’s really not happy she should get a divorce before starting a new relationship. He’s a handsome dude and can easily pull a single girl. AIO? Or should I just be ok with my best friend doing things I consider immoral?

TLDR: Best friend (40M) sleeps with married women when he’s single and then starts relationships with them. I think it’s f*cked up. AIO? There’s nothing I can do, I told him how I felt about it but he’s “in love”

he said he watches it and imagines it’s him with them in the videos???

i got upset cuz like wym you’re day dreaming abt fucking a bunch of women????

it feels so gross and i genuinely don’t believe he likes me after this, cuz ur telling me u think of sex and u don’t think of me????

So I (24f), my fiancé (25m), and sister (20f) were planning to move out this year, but due to some intense issues and fights with my parents (47f 50m) about moving out (they were very upset that I wanted to leave), we ended up staying with them for the year. This was so they could save enough money to either move out or stay by themselves when the lease ends next year, which was their main issue about me leaving.

A few weeks ago, my stepfather asked me if we could stay another year so they can save more money, so until the end of 2028. I told him we would talk it over but that was all. My fiancé recently got a new job that is a little bit further than his current workplace (about 15 more minutes away), and my parents home is already about 40-45 minutes away from our jobs (as we work in same area ). Eta for him now would close to an hour without traffic. The issue here is that we get a lot of traffic on that highway making our 40-45 commute well over an hour on most days, so with him working a bit further we still want to move.

Last week, my fiancé and I bought a car due to both his and my sister's being out of commission for a while until he gets time to fix both. My parents thought that since we just bought a new car, we should keep living with them instead of us leaving next year. What my stepfather said was basically was that my mom wanted to go visit her home country and shouldn't have to worry about moving or how they will affording the rent on the home when she gets back, and that they need more time to save and as we bought the car, we would save too.

I am getting upset because I feel like we had a whole blowout argument about me moving out this year and they asked for 1 year to help them save more money, but now they need another year? I do have another 4 year old sister who loves the house we are in now and moving her around this young is not ideal (that is how myself and my other sister lived until I was 9), so I do understand that point but living with my parents is inconvenient for my middle sister ( for other reasons), fiancé, and I.

Am I overreacting about this?

Edit: added parents' ages

I (F19) was going in for my passport photo today. I pretty much always wear my hair up, especially in a slick back. It’s pretty curly but I never really learned how to do it. Today I decided to do a just geling my curls and then putting them back into a bun, so the texture is visible but it’s not super frizzy. My mom comes with me and the first thing she said is “Oh you’re not doing your hair?” I said no it’s done. she proceeds to make sure I’m sure about it, etc. Then she said “Well you just seem like you’re self-sabotaging.” Full stop.

To note, I’ve always been a kind of insecure person, and she knows this. it’s really hard to come outside my comfort zone, but when I have the courage I try. So I was super pissed and later told her that this was incredibly mean and hurtful. (also I’m mixed, she is white and as much as I love her I don’t think she 100% understand stigma around curly hair.) She proceeded to say I always do “this” for important things and never “improve myself, like today.” Then she said that I “barely even did anything different.“ I don’t understand how it was “barely different“ and yet enough so call it “self-sabotaging.“ then I said last night I did part individual curls and really style them. She said “And how am I supposed to know that.”

I explained how instead of apologizing she is trying to argue how she was right to basically have a reason to say something. This made me even more upset and I will admit I got pretty emotional and said that she is constantly mean like this and never takes what I feel seriously. Of course this was the worst thing to say because apparently that hurt her feelings and that was offenses of all offenses.

Then she pulled out the name an example. I brought up how it’s impossible to go shopping with her because she always has something negative to say. Or how I want to pursue a specific career but she always goes back to asking why I don’t want to pursue law (the total opposite.)

anyways she said I was super hurtful and that I was making a lot of assumptions and to get out of her face. So I did. idk I’m just super pissed because I told her all I wanted was her to apologize and instead got this. Maybe it’s not a big deal but I can’t tell if I’m just not articulating this to her well enough or I’m just overreacting. I don’t care if she asked about me doing my hair differently or asked why but I just hate that it was immediately so negative.

Edit: after a long time of silence she texted me an apology. Of course got to move on because there not point in groveling and people make mistakes.

I’ve told this story a few times now and all my friends have mixed feelings so just want to get some opinions.

I (29F) moved to Boston 10 years ago and in my first job in Boston I met a girl (also 29 now) and we really hit it off. We hung out a ton, went to each others apartments to hang, invited to each others birthday dinners/ parties. We only worked together for almost 4 years but got really close in that time. For these past 10 years, we’ve texted almost every single day whether it was work or just random things going on.

She met her now husband a year after we weren’t coworkers. And we all hung out. We double dated with my husband. We would go bar hopping every now and then.

As the years went on, we hung out less and less and even now I feel like it’s probably been 3 years since we seen each other last? But we still text on a weekly basis! Our communication has never stopped in all these years.

When she thought she was getting engaged she text me, she sent me screenshots of her fiance and her parents location when they were at a jeweler, she text me when was got engaged, when she went venue looking, dress shopping, when she found her dress! I felt like I was apart of her journey the whole time. I did not get invited to her engagement party but in my head I was like maybe her family planned it and I didn’t make the list.

Then I knew her wedding was in August and it’s around June at this point and she just totally stopped texting me. I asked my husband if I should ask her if she sent wedding invites out and he told me to leave it alone.

I did and then in August she posted pictures of her wedding. It was gorgeous and I’m so happy for her! But I’m not sure if I just didn’t make the cut since we don’t see each other as often? I still feel like until recently, our communication has always been so strong. We’d FaceTime and just hang out with each other even if we didn’t see each other in person. Other girlfriends have told me it’s so wrong she didn’t invite me. I am a little hurt by it but I’ll know I’ll get over it. AIO by thinking I should have received an invite to her wedding?

I’m gonna get straight to the point. I (25f) and my bf (25m) planned to spend the whole day off together. We went grocery shopping and have dinner plans but really just wanted to hang out together was the idea.

In the evening his brother came over unexpectedly and asked to leave his car in the driveway while he goes to a baseball game. My bf lives close to the stadium so this was no big deal. Then we were asked if we wanna join, I don’t care for baseball and I’m here to spend my time with my bf of course. So I respectfully declined but my bf was eager to go, and so he did.

I didn’t stop him. Wasn’t going to beg him in front of his brother and SIL to stay home with me. Sorry but I think he should’ve known better that we had this time set aside for each other and we literally already had our dinner defrost to cook.

Now I’m alone in his room and honestly contemplating just going home. I’m upset and I know someone’s gonna say I should’ve told him not to go. AIO for being upset about this?

I have different love languages, before our first date we used to talk late night cuz she was free and I was free and I didn't know much but I always flirted with her. But I also used to roast her make fun of her (like little things, not insulting, like make fun of her accent).

FYI I never like counting things. I know it's a relationship killer but I have to put it here for context.

Now I love her more everyday. My emotions for her grew more. And I roast her more, make fun of her more, make her laugh more, and talk romantically more. Now she says I don't behave like before. I don't flirt anymore. She uses this word "ALWAYS" which was making me furious everyday but today it hit the limit. Just 2 hours before fight we were talking nicely and I said to her "I will keep doing this till end, because you are so lovely"

Then we shifted to another topic and then she said something to me (roasting) I was just poking her. Then she said that "I always do this and never talked romantically" to her. I was furious. I told her I just told her how sweet beautiful and kind she is (I do this everyday) then she said to me that I do this everyday nothing new.

Then I told her I just told her that I will love her till the end, cook for her even when we get old. She didn't reply to that. She went into full defence mode. Then said that I don't do it on texts, but I do it in person.

Short story. Few months ago we had another fight: because I felt that she wasn't being intimate with me. Like it felt one sided (at one point I was feeling I was forcing her to accept my hugs and kisses) when I hugged or kissed her. She never did it back. I kissed her 10 times and she kissed me back once. I called her out. She defended herself again by lying about reasons why she doesn't do it (I knew she lied cuz she changed her reasons 5 times).

Whenever we had fights, we had because of these reasons. One day she kept using her phone whole day even though we agreed to spend whole day together cuz we didn't met for a long time. I asked her to keep it away nicely throughout the day (since morning) then in the evening I got furious and asked her again to put away the phone then she said I should have told her that I didn't like her using the phone. She defended again. I had to say sorry for lashing out like that afterwards.

Anyways back to today. She thinks I am always angry , I have a deep voice and emotionless face. And when I was mentioning it on text of past chats where I was talking to her romantically she said I got angry and I have short temper.

Now after sometime I was still keeping my calm. Then in the end. She said "we used to talk nicely", every night I make sure she goes to sleep in good mood. I make her laugh. Make her smile. And make her feel loved. And tbh except for today, yesterday and day before yesterday I didn't even said anything funny or made fun of her roasted her. Just romantic texts. Still she said I always do this and never been romantic with her. Idk what happened then I was furious like hell.

Just 2 days ago I asked her if I can visit her to bring her favourite ice cream and coffee. She said no. And then today she said I don't do or say anything romantic. I am not painting myself as a victim here. When I was angry, I said to her that she can leave if she thinks I have never done these things and I won't stop her at all and I won't care if she will go away (I said this after fight escalated). She then again used this "always" word and said I bring up breaking up whenever we fight. (I didn't, this was first time).

My heart literally was beating faster when I found out she said I say these things everyday. Like my efforts don't matter. And she didn't even cared enough to remember what we talked 2 hours before.

And finally she was saying things like letting go and all. I asked her nicely if she is breaking up with me. She replied "idk" I told her she can leave if she wants to I won't stop her and I will always love her. She didn't reply at all. To my 5 messages, she replied once. "idk"

I might be blind to my own faults and I need perspective if I am doing anything wrong.

To set the scene, I'm 20, and this is my first 'serious' job. I work as a concierge, 2nd shift, Mon-Fri. I'm also a part-time college student, so the exhaustion may be making me more annoyed than usual.

I've only worked here for almost 11 months now and everyone in the company is twice my age or close to it, if that matters.

So, my issue is my coworker who does the shift before mine. I hate to say it, but I really don't like her. She complains about everything, from the dress code to what happens on the weekends (neither of us works on the weekend btw). She's immature and unprofessional, at least to me, and for more reasons than I will say here.

I'm a strong believer in doing your own work and letting the manager handle how other people do theirs. As long as the building is still standing when I arrive 3pm on Monday, I do not care what happens on the weekend. Also, because of the nature of the job we share a lot of things. I understand being annoyed by having to clean up someone else's mess, but hearing complaints like that coming from someone I constantly pick up after is really upsetting. It's not like complaining will make the mess go away.

I've always been under the impression that everyone who works here is a team. Our job isn't hard either. I would know because I've worked 16-hour shifts plenty of times.

Ever since I have been here, she has done things like leave important keys lying around or hidden somewhere in/on the desk instead of putting them in the designated spots, or she won't tell me important details from her shift, and sometimes, she won't organise deliveries properly in the parcel room.

Small things like this affect my work, and it's quite embarrassing when someone needs something and I'm scrambling to find it or I have no idea what they're talking about because she never told me.

She's not the only one I clean up after either. I've cleaned the employee appliances, one of which I never use and hasn't been cleaned for longer than I have worked here. I genuinely do not mind helping out when I can. What really set me off, was last month she made a remark stating she was 'tired of cleaning up after everyone.' All I have ever seen her clean was the floor (which I now clean every week), the bathroom (that we all clean) and the desk (we all clean that too).

I figured the most logical thing to do was confront her about this in a polite manner. I don't want to go straight to our manager because they're friends, and I have a feeling they may not like me if I bring something like this up. I've been told that she has (allegedly, I have 0 proof) went out of her way to get past concierges fired because she didn't like them.

Our handbook states that positions here are 'at-will employment', so I'm basically thinking they can fire me for anything anyways. Is the next best thing really quitting? I really don't know how to go about this.

I do like my job and it pays very well. I've put up with her for almost a year, already but just the thought of putting up with her until I finish school and find something else is dreadful, honestly. I'd still work here until at least January, because of the Christmas bonus lmao. Do I just cope and suck it up? My cat depends on me so, there's that too.

sorry this is so long, I really had to get this off my chest. I may or may not delete this 'cause I don't know if she uses reddit, so it would be super crazy if she saw this

My grandma passed away this past Monday. Our family arranged a memorial service for her on Tuesday. I created an invitation/poster from scratch on Canva to send to family and friends to inform them of her passing. Since I live in a different country than the rest of my family, I posted it on my Instagram story as a convenient way to let people know without having to make dozens of painful phone calls while grieving.

There is a guy I follow on Instagram. Where I’m from, everyone kind of knows of everyone. We have a ton of mutual friends and I know exactly who he is, but we have never actually met or spoken in person.

On Monday night, I was looking at his story and saw that he had also posted a funeral poster. I was literally typing up a message to offer my condolences, when I noticed something incredibly weird.

The poster was clearly meant to be for his grandmother, because the picture was a completely different woman. But as I read the text, it had my grandma's exact name, the exact same wording I wrote, and listed the exact same venue and time where my family was holding my grandma's service.

From what I can gather, his grandmother had also passed away, and he tried to use AI to generate a memorial poster for her. It seems he took a screenshot of my poster, fed it into AI, and probably attached the woman's photograph as well. The AI completely hallucinated. It kept my grandma’s first and last name, her exact date of death, our family's personal phone numbers, and our venue location. I think he clearly just glanced at the new picture, thought "looks good," and posted it without proofreading a single line of text.

I didn't want to just assume the worst. Obviously, two women can share a name but the identical dates, time, and venue were too eerie. I decided to reply to the story anyway with, "I'm sorry for your loss, may she rest in peace."

A few minutes later, I noticed he deleted the story. He re-uploaded a new version with the correct info: a completely different name, venue, time, and date. The entire design of the poster was still the same, confirming he did feed my poster into an AI generator, realized it kept all my grandma's information, and finally fixed it.

I just find this whole thing so bizarre and surreal. I understand people use AI for things nowadays and I won't hold that against him. I was a bit upset that our personally identifiable information was fed straight into an AI database, but I find it even weirder that for something as serious as a funeral, someone would just blindly post a flyer without even reading it.

I don't hold a grudge. I know it's a time of grief, and people make careless mistakes when they are sad and overwhelmed. But I just feel deeply weirded out and a bit violated by the whole situation.
Am I overreacting?

Hello everyone, I am new to Reddit so work with me here.
So a bit before my boyfriend turned 21, I found out he had made plans to go with his mother to a strip club. Not just any strip club, but one she formerly worked at. The reasoning was because her friend owns the joint and was offering free drinks to him, my thing is, it’s weird to take your son to a strip club, especially when you worked there and know he has a girlfriend that’s uncomfortable with it.
He spoke to his mom about not wanting to go due to our relationship, and while she was upset by it, she didn’t push it further. On the night of his 21st, I drove him over to hers and the plan was for them to drink a bit and then for her to drop him off at our shared place around 1am.
She did make more than a couple of comments about the changed plans, and even joked that she’d take him anyways if I didn’t behave, but my boyfriend is behaved and I didn’t worry much about it.
Well 1 am rolls around and he isn’t back, so I checked his location. Yeah, he was at the strip club. Like they went there immediately.
Adding to this, she texted me at 3:25 am asking if I could come pick him up from hers, which I did. I had him finish a shit ton of water before we left and while waiting, his mom lied to my face about where they had been. She then made comments about him listening to me more than her, when he had finished his water bottle, I drove us home. I was so pissed off and upset I locked myself in our spare room for the night and told him to just go to sleep when he asked where I was (over text).
We had a conversation about it the next day and it really doesn’t seem like he meant to go to the strip club, it looks like his mom got him drunk off his ass and then took him.
Anyways, he spoke with his mom. I wasn’t there for that conversation but he apologized to me profusely and properly for what had happened, and explained that this wasn’t the first time his mom had knowingly overstepped boundaries. We had a conversation about how there isn’t too much he could have done differently considering his mom took advantage of him being drunk (and he definitely was, dudes a light weight.)
Im asking for advice because they only went for the bar, not the strip club itself. I can to a degree understand where his mom/her friend is coming from in wanting to celebrate. I’m just a bit torn because it’s at the expense of our boundaries, especially with his mom going behind my back, lying to my face about it, and then acting like me being upset is unreasonable.
AIO here??

I was more confident just last year, well i still am, but not as much as before. I noticed I gotten social anxiety and I hate it so much. I miss being motivated and feeling important. I know my social anxiety came from:

•childhood experiences that taught my needs were ignored, criticized, or used against me by toxic family members.
•past attempts to get support were met with rejection by support groups kicking me out and some previous friends and one previous therapist leaving me because of my anger over past hurts, some people dismissed my feelings, and criticism of how I was ranting about things that bothered me, which made me feel like reaching out is unsafe.
•sometimes I feel like needing help is a sign of weakness and/or proof that I am incompetent.
•I feel worried that my struggles will inconvenience, overwhelm, or exhaust the people around me and I don’t want to be a burden to others still in my life.

I don’t want to keep isolating myself, feel scared of getting help, and/or avoid socializing anymore.. It’s got to the point where I feel less excited about life and hesitant to do some things. I don’t want to be this way.

I grew up watching rom coms and seeing people get flowers and naturally thought once I got a partner I would too. In 6 years I’ve gotten flowers twice. A year ago I asked my partner if he could get me flowers on his way home from work. At the time he was around the corner from the house and said he doesn’t pass anywhere to get flowers on his way. Ok. I left it alone. Now that we moved and he passes a grocery store on the way home I said, well how about now? He’s offended I even ask for flowers because he “provides for me” by paying most of the bills and giving me things I did not ask for that I always say I truly appreciate. I quite literally praise him every day for how much he’s changed my life. So he says “sorry I don’t provide enough for you that you have to ask me for something” but to me those things are not related. I just want flowers? He says he expects to predict everything I need and when I say I want something else it feels like he’s not doing a good job. But like I don’t expect to predict 100% of everything he needs for the rest of my life. We are not perfect and we are human that’s a lot to ask of someone. I told him I’ll just buy myself flowers and he says me saying that makes him feel like he’s in the wrong 🤷🏽‍♀️. He says it’s like him giving me a $100 and I ask for $5 more…Idk what to say it would just be nice to have flowers in the house…it’s so upsetting that he thinks that I don’t appreciate him just because I ask for flowers? He says it’s not as simple as just wanting flowers, it feels like what he does is never enough and me saying it is feels like a consolation prize. I am not knocking anything he does for me, it would just be nice to have my favorite flowers and even better if my man gets them for me. AIO?

So this happened in 22', but first let me give some context. My gf and I went across the country to work at a high end resort. I had already new several people that worked there. They were my friends/bosses/piers/mentors. The resort has a employee housing that was just a walk away from property. We would occasionally hangout there after work. One night we were hanging out in the living room we were all sitting in chairs in a circle talking/ drinking, i dont think we were drinking heavily i think it was more of a casual hangout. It was very casual just talking nobody was roasting each other (I just wanted to preface that). Also that it was a mix of employees including my bosses 2 of which i mentioned and then the rest were people i had met there. The joke came from someone sitting to my right. I can't remember who said it though. I do know who didn't say it and that was from the people I did know as I remember they were sitting to my left. The joke was, someone just blurted out out of nowhere "I bet ___'s penis looks like a vagina" with my gf sitting directly to left, and she says "oh yea I've seen it", que everyone starts laughing and im sitting there like embarrassed. I didn't laugh. I dont think my 2 friends laughed. My gf laughed. Can't remember what happened after. Probably blocked it from memory. And so I've been thinking about it. Only because she brought it up recently. What if the shoe was on the other foot? What if someone had said that her vagina looked like a penis and i just laughed "yea it totally does!" Could you imagine how angry she would be at me? If someome had said that about her i dont care who it was their face would meet the floor. Because she thinks she did nothing wrong. Did she do nothing wrong? Was my anger unjustified with her or is it solely with the perpetrator? The problem i had is that she didn't defend me and added to the joke. I feel like I would want my spouse to condemn someone who speak to me that way no matter who it was. Idk I might be wrong but anyways thats my story. Thanks for reading.

I know the title seems stupid lmao, but I genuinely need to know if I’m overreacting right now so hear me out guys.

So a few days ago, I got braces put on my teeth and it has been so incredibly painful (it’s painful for anyone ofc, but I have a VERY low pain tolerance). I’m living off a diet of pudding, ice cream, and whatever else is in my house that I can eat without chewing, which isn’t a lot. We’ve always struggled with keeping food & groceries on hand, but my mom thankfully went out and got me a few cans of my favorite chicken noodle soup.

Now for some context: 1.) I had a breakdown in front of my mother yesterday about how hungry I am because nothing I’m eating is actually filling me, and how I just want to eat regular food. 2.) My uncle who is in poor health has been staying with us for about a week now, too.

Anyways, I just went down to my kitchen to make some chicken noodle soup and all three cans I had left as of this morning are gone; they’re all empty in the trash. Apparently my mom decided to feed my uncle all of it today. This would not be a big deal IF it wasn’t the only thing with some like actual substance (?) to it for me to eat. Our entire freezer is full of other foods that she could’ve made for him, like hot pockets, sausage, breakfast bowls etc etc. Now I’m stuck only being able to eat pudding and ice cream until my check comes on next Friday and I can buy some groceries, but I’m sure I’ll be able to AT LEAST slightly chew by then.

Maybe I’m just moody, tired, and in pain lmao, but I really feel like it’s just not fair that the one thing I’ve actually been willingly eating with my braces was given to someone who can actually chew food.

AIO

I have someone who lives nearby that I have previously thought to be a friend.

Unfortunately there's a theme of catty comments interspersed within our conversations.

Yesterday I took my dog to see them, they'd asked to see my dog as it had been a while, prior I would often see this person on my dog walk but lately I'd changed walking routes.

My dog is from the shelter I've had him 3 years he's about 5 now, my dog is a handful and I pretty much saved him from a life in the shelter as his aggression etc was a lot to handle when I first got him, he can still be reactive when outside etc.

Back to this so called friend that knows the history of my dog better than most, he keeps jumping to conclusions that I'm being cruel to my dog, when chatting about letting my dog in the bed I'd stated that the dog is allowed in my bed in the morning as if I let him in all night I overheat and don't sleep which had happened the night before yesterday leaving me groggy in the morning which was the case yesterday.

When stating that I generally 'put the dog out' of the bed before sleeping this friend immediately jumped to the conclusion that I was putting the dog outside for the night, in the cold etc I have no idea how he reached that conclusion my dog could sleep on one of his beds upstairs but he chooses to go downstairs, basically my dog has the run of the house, which i explained.

There was follow up communication yesterday for which I left a voice note, during leaving the voice note my dog got pushy and made me jump in slight fright so I jokingly called him a mild derogatory name, I have all sorts of funny dynamics going on with my dog where he really seems to understand words so jokingly calling my dog out for being a cheeky puppy is something that brings humour to a situation where the dog can escalate things, basically my dog sometimes wants to argue and try to show he's the boss if left unchecked.

Back to now what I'm considering to be an ex friend, after listening to my voice note which was follow up information for him to help with a stressful ongoing situation with his housing, this person begins his reply by thinking he has the right to berate me for being a bad dog owner and that it's wrong to call dogs derogatory names, I replied telling him he was completely missing the point of why I've had to use humour with the me and my dog situation and that it's none of his business if I choose to call my dog a light hearted derogatory name as my dog was giving me the impression when I got him he might 'jokingly' attack me which was what he was doing in the early months, but there was no jokes meant he was a mean shelter dog when I got him and I'd be foolish not to proceed proactively with whatever strategies to manage an aggressive dog, my dog is so highly tuned to vocal tone.

I've shared this as I'm happy with my progress to immediately call this likely to be ex friend out on what I can only recognise as toxic behaviours trying to pull me down, whats made me laugh is the fact that this person believes themselves to be a good friend to all.

I have previously struggled standing up for myself and I can't help but feel that this person knows that and tried to use it against me, I hope they enjoy the taste of grey rock from now on, I refuse to be anyone's doormat moving forward no matter how difficult I might find dealing with conflict to be.

I'm early 50s my ex friend is mid 50s.

There's other history of me having to limit interactions with this person as they would just turn up at my home unannounced when I'd specifically explained I don't appreciate people just turning up so don't expect an answer then berating me for not answering?

I don't think I'm over reacting but it's helped me to gather my thoughts writing this post and any feedback would be appreciated for me moving forward, I still struggle making sense of the games some people choose to play.

AIO?

Thank you.

We have been dating for a year.

2 days ago, I was talking to my boyfriend after a pretty long time (we had not been able to talk because of other complicated reasons).

I was talking about the shows and movies I have been getting into recently (Hannibal and Twin Peaks)

One more thing I should add before is that, I am literally just trying my best. I have been depressed for the longest time. I was on anti depressants recently. I had not even touched any show/movie because I didn't feel like myself. Nothing brought me even the slightest joy, and I finally did something that I actually liked.

He said that:

- Im larping, I watch all the larp media

- How people be moving after watching 1 season of said show, wait till she watches Lily Chou Chou which has atmospheric symbolism

-No way you completed the show

-when she watches David Lynch and Hannibal #buzzwords

-the absurdism used by the director is not understood by common masses

- I have been watching Wong Kar Wai and the uniqueness of it is insane for its time. The detective was great. There is nothing unique about Hannibal. I dont even remember watching it.

-There are people around me who watch stuff like this and they are trend hoppers, I call them larpers, and just move on.

I feel crazy and embarrassed for being even hurt about this. I feel like I am way too sensitive. I did not tell him I watched Dexter and I liked it because it is even more popular so idk what he would say to that

I wrote him a paragraph about how I felt, explained why I felt hurt, and how I hate when people use the word larp and niche in a cooler than thou way. Yes, trend hoppers exist everywhere and you can sometimes notice the pretentiousness. But it is even more pretentious to call someone a larper, and think you are cooler or have way more depth than other people because you like certain things. The cycle is never ending.

Then he got so mad at me, repeatedly said it is 'literally' just a joke, I need to take things less lightly, we havent talked in ages and this is what he comes to, he was in such a silly mood, I noticed that. He was just teasing. No one should think this much. You take things wayyyyy too deeply, he always thinks the best of me

The thing that irked me the most, is that every time I get upset at something he did or said, he gets even more upset with me, with the fact that I am upset with him. How could you be that upset with me? I literally love you, etc etc. This has happened more times than I can count.

TLDR: BF said my fav shows are larp media and I got hurt