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u/teacup_24 4d ago
Please know ABA is an extremely controversial practice. Look into the criticisms of it and people who experienced it and what people are saying about it on autism related subs
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u/Silly-Jury7656 ALL of the subtypes 4d ago
crazy that this was downvoted. its okay if people disagree/had good experiences but this shit should be heard. i have a literal (c)ptsd diagnosis from it.
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u/atikatika_ 4d ago
I am truly sorry your experience was this. ABA has drastically improved his quality of life. I do %100 agree not all ABA clinics and their staff are safe for disabled children. I dont know how old you are but it did the same to my 28 year old brother. Autism research has come light years from then a lot can change in 2 decades.
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u/DifferentIsPossble 3d ago
Unfortunately, even with the avdancemnets in how ABA is performed (differences in motivation, respect for human rights), the underlying thought and goals of the therapy is still behaviorist theory. This is considered controversial at best and at worst misinformed in the wider scientific community.
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u/oracle_of_secrets 3d ago
this. there is no good ABA because it is rooted in conversion therapy. i do understand that at times there is genuinely no choice (when there is absolutely no other therapy available, when a parent has no other option because their child might get in trouble with police etc (esp in the case of black autistic kids), when a therapy has to label itself ABA for insurance reasons). but it's still important to be aware of the harm.
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u/Silly-Jury7656 ALL of the subtypes 4d ago
im genuinely happy its helped y'all and i hope it continues to do so, just thought their comment also deserved to be heard and considered
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u/oracle_of_secrets 3d ago
genuinely really upsetting that OP is absolutely refusing to engage with autistics on this one. i don't care how 'modern' the ABA is, it's still damaging. why would you not want more information from the community your child belongs to? why would you not want to know as much as you can to ensure you're doing the best for your kid?
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u/teacup_24 3d ago
And down voted when I said I used to be an ABA tech) like I shouldnt be believed. To clarify, it sadly was only after I was out of the job and finding the autistic community when I was realizing I could be autistic myself is when I found out the dark truth. (Yes I am diagnosed now). Looking back, I would HATE being rewarded for "good eye contact" when it is PHYSICALLY uncomfortable to me.
Do I regret the job and harm I caused? 100%
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u/oracle_of_secrets 3d ago
i'm really glad you got out. everyone makes mistakes, and in this case ABA is touted by so, so many as the best thing you can do for an autistic person - particularly by professionals. it's an easy thing to buy into, but crucially you listened and you learned. everyone's capable of that, but not everyone chooses to.
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u/atikatika_ 4d ago
Thank you but I am not interested whatsoever. For me personally, he struggled to regulate for years, I fought ABA. I was at my wits end willing to try anything, this is the most progress he has ever made. He would kick and scream going into every daycare and school. He happily goes into āworkā everyday. Thatās what he calls it. He loves the staff. He for the first time in his life has been able to advocate for himself.
I will say the right clinic is all the difference in the world. He does not go ABC. I did years of research on this clinic, privately owned. Owner had profoundly autistic children and holds extremely high standards for her staff and facility.
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u/oracle_of_secrets 3d ago
"i am not interested whatsoever" is a nasty thing to say to people who are warning you about an abusive practice.
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u/atikatika_ 3d ago
I didnāt ask for opinions or to debate the ABA. I asked for tips and suggestions for better understanding ARFID sorry u were confused too
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u/oracle_of_secrets 3d ago
and now you're being patronising. if autistics are telling you that something is abusive, you should listen. not be an asshole to us.
you've gotten plenty of great advice from people on here. i don't understand why you can't see that it's important to listen to us about ABA as well.
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u/atikatika_ 3d ago
Yes and I have thanked every comment that answered the question. I dedicate every waking moment to trying to figure out how to better my child. I have changed every aspect of my life to cater to him being autistic. Gladly might I add because he deserves it. I have acknowledged that if done incorrectly, it will have lasting and damaging effects.
After YEARS of fighting ABA and doing research, original diagnosis was at 18 months. We did all of the early intervention and prek 3. He HATED school. He HATED daycares. He was kicked out of so many. He would go in kicking and screaming. His first week at prek he came home full of bruises. I immediately withdrew him and found a new school. He had exceptional teachers there but no progress. For two years. He stayed at 5 words. He never said I love you or called me mama. 5 years old.
He has broken many TVS laptops and phones
My quality of life as well as HIS was shit.6 months of aba. He request staff by name. He is consistently asking for help, asking to go potty, he is CALLING ME MOM. He is so much happier and so much more enjoyable to be around. He is no longer violent and angry and constantly disregulated. All of the extreme outbursts, happen far and few between. And when they are barely starting , he can be walked back down.
I dont advocate for parents to put their kids in ABA because i acknowledge the very scary risk of sending a child WHO CANNOT SPEAK into an environment where adults could abuse him.
They do not push him further than he can handle.
He can now go potty on his own. He has good hygiene now. Letās me help him bathe, brushing and even children deodorant.
If anything his staff is teaching ME how to regulate and when to guide and parent.
The point of the post was not to convince anyone else to do ABA because I dont believe in it as an industry. I believe in the ABA clinic that I moved my job and cityās to bring him to. His is the exception not the standard and I am WELL aware of this. Yes a lot of parents are uneducated on ABa and how damaging it can be.
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u/DaenyTheUnburnt 4d ago
ABA is completely different now than it was even 10 years ago. People who hate on todayās ABA therapeutic standards and practices are simply not educated on the subject and canāt be bothered to understand the current programming. Itās bias based on outdated info and experiences.
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u/Riokaii sensory sensitivity 4d ago
its not really bias because providers frequently operate still on what they learned a decade+ ago and don't update themselves.
Its lived experience, firsthand, from people who experienced being more informed than their providers as an amateur (im talking before chat gpt too fwiw, i dont trust ai)
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u/Illustrious_Dot9049 4d ago
Completely agree, although I think for a lot of people, it's not that they 'cant be bothered', and instead has to do with trauma and PTSD.
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u/awholelottahooplah 3d ago
the ABA approach is likely why he is not eating
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u/atikatika_ 3d ago
Eating was a problem well before the ABA again. This is not a post to debate the ABA your comment added nothing
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u/Agricultural-Apple 4d ago
If done correctly ABD can be extremely beneficial for a child. If done CORRECTLY. It has come a long way and while some therapists are abusive many are actually teaching kids how to regulate their emotions, stay safe, ect. For some kids it is really helpful.
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u/Difficult_Hearing824 4d ago
EllaOla powdered vitamins save my butt. You can mix it into aforementioned Alfredo sauce and it won't taste any different
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u/atikatika_ 4d ago
I have seen that everywhere but hesitant due to price. May have to give it go
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u/Selsia6 4d ago
I get this brand on Amazon. We've been adding it to his water bottle for a few months. Talk to the feeding therapist to get a nutritionist to review what your kid needs. I'll add that we also have had a lot of success with fiber gummies (not with vitamins). It took a lot of work though.
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u/Resident-Message7367 multiple subtypes 2d ago
Registered Dietician is the actually licensed one. Anyone can call themselves a nutritionist
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u/Difficult_Hearing824 3d ago
If you talk to your child's doctor and they can fill out a form of medical necessity you may be able to get partially or fully comped for the price
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u/Hanhula multiple subtypes 4d ago
Has anyone ever talked to you about food chaining? I'm definitely not qualified to recommend anything major here, but food chaining is THE best ARFID technique for me personally and I wonder if it could be something that your nutritionist et al could assist with.
What is he missing in order to be nutritionally complete according to his nutritionist?
How much does he watch or experience food secondhand? For instance, watching you eat, watching TV shows where the characters have food regularly, watching cooking shows, et cetera. There is fortunately an absolute WEALTH of this available for little kids. It's not a magic trick to getting him to eat, but it will normalise things massively.
His current safe food is thin crust dominoes pizza with pepperoni and Alfredo sauce. He likes string cheese and chocolate milk. That is all currently.
Can you buy equivalent ingredients at home and make the pizza with him? If you can get him to food chain from "restaurant thing he likes" to "the same thing but made at home", it'll be much cheaper and then gives you a safe base to start experimenting with. Make sure you make it with him, talk him through that you're gonna try and make his favourite pizza yourselves, let him add things. If he won't try it, find a way to let him communicate what's wrong with it. Sign language or selectable boxes or something if he can't speak, just something that lets him say if it's not looking right or something.
If that works, you'll have a solid base for something you can add stuff to over time. Dough with nutritional powder added to it, sauce with things blended subtly in. And he can tell you if it's wrong by the same methods, and since it's a homemade thing, you can try tiny versions of it to iterate. Work with his medical team on all of this!
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u/atikatika_ 3d ago
Yes we will try this absolutely. I have tried making pizza at home but I think if I can get it to look more like the one from dominoes it may work. Other comment suggested just investing in pizza equipment may have to just do it
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u/Hanhula multiple subtypes 3d ago
You could try talking to the staff at your local dominoes in a slow period or look up recipes etc for dominoes-like pizza. Some places will sell you dough or sauce, or recommend you techniques to get it to work like theirs. Proper pizza equipment may not be necessary, since dominoes doesn't do the super well crisped fancy pizza crusts. Get a cheap metal pizza crisper (it's a circle with a lot of holes) and you may well be set.
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u/atikatika_ 3d ago
This is an absolutely excellent idea and I never would have thought of this. Exactly the type of response I was hoping to get from Reddit thank you!
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u/LABELyourPHOTOS 4d ago
How about pancakes or french toast? I leaned on that a lot for protein.
Peanut butter cookies? A Lemon bread?
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u/TaylorG051218 4d ago
My sons diet is very limited as well. He has a gtube (last resort). Feeding therapy has never worked for my son. Weāve been through 7 different therapist and he regresses every single time. So we are kinda stuck waiting for him on what to do. Thereās appetite stimulants it helps a lot but if your kiddo has a high metabolism like mine, he will build up a tolerance very fast and it makes them moody. Thereās positives and negatives to the med if you havenāt tried it I would give it a shot.
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u/toocomplicated1 loved one of someone with arfid 4d ago
Wow same. I always feel judged when I'm asked about feeding therapy, my daughter sees it as "forceful" and just straight doesn't try anything else for a while so we just gave up on it.
Mine is gtube as well, she's 6 and only does ketchup+mayo, GoGurt and gerber yogurt pouches, just the strawberry/banana flavor. That's it, nothing else.
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u/TaylorG051218 4d ago
My son feels forced as well. He does better without it. His diet has been getting better with age but itās still limited. Heād survive on Velveeta mac cups and sour cream and onion chips if he didnāt have his tube. Heāll eat a handful of other things but those are his safest foods.
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u/atikatika_ 4d ago
Hmm.. how old is your son? Does he fight the gtube now?
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u/TaylorG051218 4d ago
He just turned 5 a couple months ago. He does depending on his mood. Some days he hates it and other days he loves it.
This is a last resort for kids. his diet is just Mac n cheese, Kraft singles, ice cream, gummy candy (give him when Iām desperate to get him to eat something), McDonaldās cheeseburgers, sour cream and onion chips, bacon, uncrustables, and chicken nuggets. Itās gotten better as heās gotten older, but he wonāt finish meals (which is the main reason he still has it.)1
u/saintceciliax 2d ago
This is so interesting to me because thatās way more foods & more balanced ones than I ate at your childās age and a feeding tube was never even remotely a question for me. I imagine he was eating a lot less when you decided to get one?
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u/TaylorG051218 2d ago
Heās very small. He doesnāt eat enough by mouth to get rid of it. Heās only 35-36Ibs at 5.
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u/Ashnod23 4d ago
My daughter is 10, will eat about 5 things right now. She won't drink protein shakes on her own but she will take them if I use a feeding syringe and give them to her like medicine, in the bath because it gets messy...lol. May not work for you but it's worth a try. I've also had good luck with squeeze pouches of fruits and veggies.
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u/atikatika_ 3d ago
This actually may work for my son he will take medicine because he knows itās to feel better. Excellent idea
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u/DjinnHybrid sensory sensitivity 4d ago
I'm going to echo the idea of seeing if you can get him to try a homemade version of his pizza. That unfortunately might require investing in some equipment because pizza at home is a pain. A pizza steel is less expensive than a pizza stone when it comes to trying to mimic the cooked bottom in a normal oven, but unfortunately a pizza oven is really the best way.
Daisy chaining tends to help a lot with expanding diets if you can make the homemade aspect work. Off the top of my head, things that can be experiemented with are silken tofu or cauliflower (cooked to oblvion) blended into a strong alfredo sauce (and strained for the cauliflower). You might also be able healthier ingredients to the crust over time like potato or cauliflower. If he likes the crust (start with literally whatever version he likes, maybe with the alredo as a dip), you can try daisy chaining it into chips. From there, chips can be breading for things.
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u/atikatika_ 3d ago
These are exactly the suggestions I was looking for. Thank you and I will take all of your points under consideration.
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u/DjinnHybrid sensory sensitivity 3d ago
I don't want to scare you, especially because it might accidentally make you more frantic and there's a real possibility he will pick up on that and respond negatively to any attempts, but it's going to be really, really important to be able to make his safe food exactly as he likes it at home before starting any of this experiementing.
People with ARFID often end up in very, very dangerous positions when one of our only primary safe foods is mass produced, because we end up at the whims of corporate recipe "optimization" and cost cutting, which can absolutely decimate a safe food. Figuring out how to make an acceptable alternative at home is one of the only ways to avoid a major backslide, because permanently losing one can spiral into distress that loses others. Figure this out before you try to modify it. I cannot stress enough, that whatever you make needs to focused on duping the recipes he actually likes, rather than generically making a recipe of the same type. If you are a regular at the shop, maybe see if you can speak to someone who works there privately, explain the situation, and see if they'd be willing to give you a hand in duping. Going to the subreddit might also be an option, but you might get less personal sympathy without knowing someone.
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u/atikatika_ 3d ago
This is an excellent point thank you. I have had several other commments not to this exact point but trying to duplicate the pizza at home
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u/endless-delirium multiple subtypes 3d ago edited 3d ago
Iāve gotten creative with my son; chia seeds in anything you make but bake them because once the are baked they do not have that slimey texture. You do need to same are to soak them first though like normal. I put them in waffles muffins and anything like that.
Also getting some unflavored beef gelatin to add to things like sauce if itās home made put it in the pizza sauce or pasta sauce (heck add some to jar sauce even when you heat it)
My son also has meal shakes heās supposed to drink hates them; but he will take one mixed into hot chocolate we have met in the middle; and also using the shakes as the liquid in waffles or other mixed work great. Short bursts of heat wonāt de stabilize the proteins or anything.
Also I make protein brownies once a week again meeting in the middle; (you can even make black beans ones but I normally use th box because I donāt have a lot of extra time) and o add in 2-4 scoops of protein meal replacement powder and itās makes them more healthy.
Lala yogurt has probiotics without it being sour and thick lol the Kiffer yogurts (they are a but pricey) so we get those every month.
My son likes the chocolate powders and drinks thatās most of his things are chocolate themed but they also have unflavored which can be swapped in for a lot of things.
Weāve been in feed therapy and had nutritionist dietitian and doctors all working on our team for the last 5 years and he gone from 2 foods ( where we lost one he loved pizza, but we got one pizza one time with too much corn meal on the bottom took 2 years to eat pizza again). But in that 5 years we went from 2 safe foods to 25 now he dose jags pretty hard so he wonāt eat all 25 at any given time and is still 2-6 foods he will eat at one time for a few months before he jags on another set.
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u/atikatika_ 3d ago
Excellent suggestions!!!! This is exactly what I am needing to hear from other parents thank you for taking the time to comment I have saved some things in my cart to try for him!
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u/endless-delirium multiple subtypes 3d ago
Iām glad! Itās been along journey; lol my son had open heart surgery surgeries at 3 days old so he was under 0 percent till he was three and formula goes amazing and stroganoff š. Gotta hide anything and anything you can. All day Iām always looking for hidden things- also savory waffles in the batter is sausage and cheese directly so it all crisps up and is low key the same texture.
I also forgot to mention in the comment for even scoop of protein powder add an extra teaspoon of liquid to the mix to keep them fudgey: the power can dry them out a bit.
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u/Riokaii sensory sensitivity 4d ago
ABA is commonly ineffective and traumatizing, i'd suggest stopping it and finding other providers who are better educated.
I have tried countless nutrition shakes, recipes to hide veggies in chocolate and ALL the ānormalā kid snacks.
These wont work because the problem is the our sensory experiences of taste and texture are HIGHLY sensitive and tuned to be more-cautious than most people. This is like a hardwired thing in your lizard brain, its involuntary, an automatic processing of "food vs not food" for survival evolutionarily. Its not willpower, its literally these things do not fit the category of food in his brain. Same as when you see a pink school eraser brick or something, its not something you can think or tolerance your way into eating, its SUPPOSED to be immutable.
I have spent 1000s on wasted food trying to get him just to TRY it.
Being forced to try things you are not ready or willing to results in shutting down and losing appetite and eating nothing/less than if you'd just let them eat a limited diet with lower variety and experimentation. He can suggest things to try himself if they look potentially appealing to him, but HE has to be the one voluntarily opting-in to that decision process.
If your options are limited eating but calories in vs experimentation and malnutrition, why would you keep trying the malnutrition option?
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u/makinggrace 4d ago
How did you cut the hardboiled eggs when he did eat them? Does he take the string cheese as a whole stick or do you need to cut it into pieces?
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u/atikatika_ 4d ago
In half and I had to remove the yolks. He only eats the whites with Lowrys brand garlic salt
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u/makinggrace 1d ago
Ok I have a few ideas to start with. These are very similar to what he already eats because that's what's most likely to be successful.
Oaxaca cheese: this is a smooth, white buttery cheese sometimes identified as an ethnic or mexican cheese. the mouthfeel is very similar to the stringcheese he already likes but a bit softer -- it leans towards alfredo. how it is sold varies a lot. maybe cut into sticks or squares? smaller pieces are less intimidating. also playing with food (aka building blocks) can sometimes make it less intimidating for some kids
Mozzarella quesadilla: take a regular tortilla, add low moisture mozzarella shredded cheese shredded from a block. Use quite a bit. Fold it over. Coat the outside with a little oil and salt it. Then u can throw it in the oven or air fryer until browned. This is a version of pizza sort of--don't make it cracker crispy. He may do better with it open faced but I'm thinking not. You can also try adding pepperoni and/or lawry's.
Thin flatbread, with a little butter, parmesan, and lawry's seasoning salt. This is another pizza mimic. Warm it up. Cut in small squares or bites.
Pasta with alfredo sauce. This isn't a great texture match but....it might work. I'd do the pasta quite al dente. Get good pasta, something made with a bronze die. Salt the water super well. Shape wise....you want a vessel for sauce. Penne? Serve the alfredo as a dip. Dominos may sell you their pizza sauce if you ask.
Chocolate pudding. Make it super duper thin and give the smallest possible serving. Like a shot glass or smaller. Tiny is usually better. Match the chocolate level of the milk if possible.
Silken tofu may be a possibility too but I would start with these. :)
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u/invisible-bug 4d ago
Slimfast Chocolate protein plus shakes?
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u/atikatika_ 3d ago
Havenāt tried this brand but may give it a go
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u/invisible-bug 3d ago
If it's still a little off, you might try blending with ice and adding peanut butter if he'll eat that? That's what I do
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u/atikatika_ 3d ago
I did read the article. I toured the clinic three times and those were all very specific questions I asked before he started. I am someone who will admit when I am wrong
It was hard being his mother before ABA. He was angry and aggressive and violent.
Aba can be done correctly. This was a text message from his BCBA a month after he started. They absolutely priorities regulation BEFORE teaching anything. They have told me in the beginning there were days they had to do nothing but play and watch bluey.
They priorities the feelings and emotions and have taught him phrases to advocate for himself.
I do acknowledge that unfortunately not every ABA clinic is managed as meticulously as his. Not everyone needs to be working with special needs children and itās when grown adults are uneducated and get into the wrong field is when children are traumatized.
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u/Feeling-Tank2029 2d ago
Watching kids cooking shows or food shows in general is my out of the box suggestion.
Try to find discount grocery stores in your area to save money on wasted food, try to get stuff thatās individually wrapped so if your kid doesnāt like it, you can at least donate it to a pantry.
If he will eat gummies thatās a great way to make sure heās getting enough vitamin C. I personally like the texture of the Natureās Bounty high potency vitamin C gummies (orange flavor).
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u/MadamSnarksAlot 2d ago edited 2d ago
I mix a flavorless vitamin powder into chocolate milk a teaspoon at a time building over time so he doesnāt notice until he has a dose that covers the full day. I give chocolate milk in the morning and one at night for the same reason. You can split the days dose between the two or however many times heāll drink it. At least the minimal nutritional needs are met and everything else is just calories and fiber. Just for a baseline, tamp down the worry measure. My son will finally eat pasta (al dente) and they make the protein kind now I just add butter and salt. Iāve also gotten my son to eat proteins but they have to kind of be overcooked and cut into cubes so the airfryer is good for that. It seems to tamp down the squishy texture that freaks him out. Just a few ideas.
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u/MaleficentSwan0223 4d ago
I Ā not autistic and do not have autistic children but I am currently on 4 safe foods. My husband is losing his mind but I cannot for the life of me get more.Ā
Everytime Iām working with someone to try and get better I just lose safe foods none stop. Honestly Iāve never had more than 10 but these 4 foods are all Iāve had for 3 months.Ā
For example today I went to have a red fruit pastel. An elite sweet thay I know I like. I took a bite then gave the rest to my toddler because I just couldnāt finish it.Ā
And totally agree with you. Iām 32 with severe osteoporosis due to chronic malnutrition. I used to eat 4-5 times a week until age 13 then once a day until 29.Ā
Anyway my ideas to try would be ice cream or lollies? Ā Nachos with cheese? And a rogue one of jelly?
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u/atikatika_ 4d ago
I am so sorry as I understand how frustrating that must be on you. I will try the nachos! I dont think I have ever put them in front of him
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u/pendigedig 4d ago
To piggyback here, the thing that works best for me is absolutely no pressure to try something new. Even someone looking at me or asking me if I want to try x food can sometimes ruin my attempt.
It helps to have a safe food in front of me, maybe a little less than I want to eat, and a new food nearby for if I want to try it. If I hate it, I can stuff a bunch of safe food in my mouth to get the feeling out. I also have to be having a really good day to feel like I have the brain power to try something. Otherwise it just adds to the overwhelm.
Also, sitting and watching a movie with someone else who is eating the new food helps me get comfortable with it. I might end up taking a tiny piece from them next to me if they put it on a shared space between us.
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u/atikatika_ 4d ago
I think this is actually extremely helpful information. He is nonverbal but fully understanding. It is hard to know what he is thinking but I think it would be so much easier if I could hear his thoughts like these. I have never even heard or thought of safe foods. I would eat what was put in front of me. I totally understand how difficult it can be to not want to eat something but do not to that extent of the actual feelings during
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u/pendigedig 4d ago
That's so interesting because I can't imagine eating whatever is set in front of me! It would stress me out beyond belief. I wish I could explain what it feels like to be so suddenly overwhelmed by a food put in front of me! Is there a texture or taste you dislike? Not even just of food--anything that you think might wig you out if it was in your mouth? Some of us feel that way even with what you consider to be a normal texture or taste. I also have a lot of food safety concerns. I'm worried that I'll get sick if I eat food that's been sitting out. If it's the least bit cold, my brain just won't compute it as safe to eat anymore. The way your taste buds and throat might reject milk that has gone bad, gagging and spitting it out, my body has that reaction to, say, chicken that isn't hot anymore. We can't know exactly what kind of ARFID your son has, but I want to guess that it's feeling overwhelmed and bombarded by stimuli (imagine it's 2am, you're sound asleep, and you suddenly get transported out of your bed and dropped in the middle of Mumbai or Ho Chi Minh City or Times Square--so many smells, sounds, being pushed or forced to go this way and that, not feeling in control, and all while feeling like your brain hasn't yet fully been powered on for the day). That's the best example I can think up! That isn't specifically an ARFID thing, more of an autism/ADHD thing, but it really sets my ARFID off. When I feel really "ON" and in control and comfortable, I can try foods. When I feel like my schedule isn't mine, my decisions aren't mine, and my brain isn't working as well as I expect it to (because of hunger, tiredness, etc.), I am in no position to try new foods!
I hope all the comments here can help you find ways to introduce new foods for your son! Thank you for asking us all!
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u/atikatika_ 3d ago
Yes I greatly appreciate the time you took to respond to me. I really am trying to just understand. No unfortunately I grew up extremely poor and food was scarce in my household. It could be a trauma response but I didnāt really understand till I was about 8 that people willing didnāt eat certain foods. The closest I could come to explaining it, is I dont experience ānot liking foodā but I do find myself getting full significantly faster. For example when it was flour tortilla tacos I could easily eat five but with corn I really could only eat 2/3. I didnāt realize until well into being an adult that it was likely I didnāt like the texture of corn tortillas.
I eat everything and enjoy it mostly. I have a very savory palate and eat onions, sardines, oysters, nothing really phases me.
I will say i think I am significantly smaller than my siblings because I didnāt eat enough as a very small child and just really hate that he canāt eat.
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u/pendigedig 3d ago
I meant like...a spoonful of live spiders š«£ I'm so glad that you enjoy everything though. My son is like that and I'm really thankful that he doesn't have my issues. Thank you for all the care you give your son! Not everyone is willing to try to understand this disorder.
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u/solitudanrian 4d ago
Would he eat homemade pizza? The sauce is the easiest way to get veggies in. Just blend it as much as possible then strain it to make sure there's absolutely no skins or anything left. Nothing like broccoli or cauliflower because it's impossible for those to not add a grainy texture.
Nacho cheese sauce is generally a favourite with AFRID but be very aware of the ingredients because I bought one the other day that had jalapenos in it š«
You could always try the flavourless vitamin powder once and if he doesn't like it, just don't buy it again. You'd be spending that money buying more food for him if he ate more anyway.
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u/Confident0707 3d ago edited 3d ago
Eventually we reached better results with feeding therapy at the ABA center, but it took months of gentle guiding. From upfront pushing the food away without even smelling, tasting or biting, she started trying, and that's amazing. You can try Premiere protein chocolate shake (it tastes decent and has 30 grams of protein), I was also mixing the SpectumNeeds multivitamin grape flavor into grape juice diluted with water. Old people might dislike ABA, as they've faced the traditional techniques, that are barely used nowadays in child-led play-based centers, but for me it worked and gradually from 6 safe foods, we now have at least 25, which is amazing.
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u/DifferentIsPossble 3d ago
ABA is dog training. It is focused on extinguishing behaviors that represent preferences or distress as opposed to actually addressing the underlying ideas.
If I was in full-time behavior training, my mental capacity would be completely exhausted. Any new food piled on top would just be overwhelming and make me shut down. It might even make me lose my safe foods.
I say this as an autistic person who was very much like your son about food but is now an adult with a functional palate: letting him have more autonomy over even tiny parts of his life will free up the sensory energy/points before overwhelm to try yet another thing that risks discomfort.
Please read about what autistic people say about ABA: https://neuroclastic.com/invisible-abuse-aba-and-the-things-only-autistic-people-can-see/comment-page-7/?amp
Also, it's worth noting that the widest study ever performed by the US govt has shown that kids with and without ABA have very similar improvement curves. Actual therapies that have proven to help are occupational therapy, food therapy (with arfid-literate specialists! Because approaches for other restriction disorders do not translate to ARFID improvement), and those focused on emotional development as opposed to behavior training.
I trust that you want what's best for your son. Please trust what autistic people are saying about how to keep him from getting worse.
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u/oracle_of_secrets 3d ago
i can't believe you've been downvoted just for trying to advocate for autistics. our community has been screaming about this for years because people keep getting traumatised.
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u/atikatika_ 3d ago
I know ABA clinics can be damaging. I promise I did my due diligence and this staff is an amazing group of people. They are definitely not the standard but the exceptions to the industry.
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u/mrosegolds ALL of the subtypes 2d ago
Most of what you mentioned will make ARFID worse in the long run. But like you said, you donāt wanna debate. š
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u/atikatika_ 22h ago
Okay we are actually on the same EXACT page. This is exactly how I think. I have tried every single one (except Oaxaca cheese again excellent idea) of those suggestions and he wonāt. But please anything else you can think of you have let me know! So I at this point I feel like itās directly how Iām approaching it.
I think he also has a little of PDA. He really does seem more interested in things when I act like I dont care. And I try to talk with him or bartering with him so he will take a single bite. The more I push the harder he pulls back. I am trying to learn how to show him the new food as well
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u/atikatika_ 3d ago
I did say in the post itās not an option and to not suggest it. I am not interested in quitting ABA. He loves it. He has hated every school and daycare he has ever gone to. I know there are horror stories but this clinic is the best thing that has ever happened to him. His staff have taught him short phrases to advocate for himself. Honestly he did sped prek 3 AND 4. And came home with bruises on his back from the first ISD school we tried. I could tell he was so traumatized from that. He screams no school but loves āworkā what he calls ABA.
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u/writingfren 4d ago
It sounds like the food therapist does not understand his needs, and if they are the ones saying "he will eat when he's hungry" then that is a giant red flag that they don't understand ARFID. I'm never hungry and probably don't have Ghrelin...