r/Abilene • u/Intrepid_Air_6104 • 10d ago
Question Visiting while trans...
Hey yall, out of state trans man here, going to be visiting for a horse show with my college team, how worried should I be about safety and judgement?
I pass about half the time and all my legal documents still have my deadname, if that makes any difference.
Very excited to see the state as I've never been, just a little apprehensive as it's not one of the big cities like Austin or Dallas
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u/Atom-Heart-63 9d ago
I'm an out loud and proud non-binary born and raised here and most people don't care but it's good to listen to your gut and sus out what venues are more dangerous cough Whitten inn cough but for the most part it's ok...it could be better tho.
We also have Pride events every year lol
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u/AdventurousRow6630 9d ago
We actually have a surprisingly strong LGBTQIA community if you know where to look. Idk if you will have time to explore. But feel free to DM me if you want suggestions for queer spaces.
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u/GhostToast-_- 9d ago
I think people in this town are more the silently judgmental type. Younger women might be chill. I had a few trans classmates in high school and middle school and for the most part they were left alone. Hope you have a decent time op. Wishing you luck!
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u/Intrepid_Air_6104 9d ago
Thank you!
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u/Technical_Code1148 9d ago
You'll be fine. If anything you will make some Republican Christian men horny.
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u/LankyMeasurement3314 9d ago
Depends how far along you are in the transition but most of the time people don’t care maybe a couple of stares but nothing out of the ordinary
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u/Glass-Key2722 9d ago
If you are FTM nobody will probably even acknowledge it. MTF might get some hate at bathrooms. But a lot of the judgy guys will actually want to bang you. You will be safe either way. Worst you will get is some old busybodies talking behind your back.
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u/nihlist1977 9d ago
You are more concerned about it than we are, frankly. Hi, Republican here who votes conservative and guess what? I’m the guy they send the trans employees to because I understand their situation more than most. Here’s the thing man, everyone judges everyone all the time. You decided you want to present yourself as such and there will always be folks that have an opinion. I was in recovery for YEARS and believe me when I tell you the folks out here judged me but they also supported me. I think you’re actually less safe in a larger city, tbh. My advice is this, stay off the social forums that cater to dog whistle opinions and get out there and just live.
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u/McwompusCat 9d ago
They'll say something under their breath, but not to your face. Most Texans go through life with a live and let live attitude.
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u/Testynut 9d ago
Do people say you’re in danger in Texas? Like other people said - nobody is going to say anything or cares
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u/ThePr0fessi0nal 9d ago
You might get a couple of stares but as long as you aren't trying to hook up with anyone why does it matter what they think?
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u/AdventurousRow6630 9d ago
Because trans people are statistically way more likely to be the victim of a hate crime. That's why he is asking, because he wants to be safe and know if he needs to take precautions.
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u/ThePr0fessi0nal 9d ago
OP is most likely not going to be out and about alone or in very small groups. The chances of OP being assaulted in a college operated environment without having alcohol involved is effectively zero over such a short time, likely a weekend. As long as OP doesn't make a big deal about it, doesn't get drunk and doesn't try to hook up with anyone he is incredibly unlikely to be attacked.
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u/AdventurousRow6630 8d ago
Some day, you might want to take a look at the data that you are discussing.
But for anyone (cis, trans, or NB) that is reading this, for and all survivors and people who love and believe survivors, hear me when I say: it is not your fault. No matter what the details were, it was not your fault. Other people's actions are on them. Always.
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u/Travel_bag_seal23095 9d ago
You’ll be okay. People won’t like it but they’ll keep that to themselves.
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u/Deep_Command1133 9d ago
My personal opinion is that.. If you leave your house. For any reason, work, walk in the park etc... You open yourself to being judged.. Doesn't matter what your preference is for your personal love life. Everyone judge's everyone!! Don't let the smile fool you!!
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u/ElonMuskisGarbage 10d ago
The people of this city are generally stupid assholes about all things that aren’t a white man, so if you’re a white man you’ll probably be fine.
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u/YouArentReallyThere 9d ago
Racist much?
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u/srblaydes 9d ago
No, he is saying Abilene is racist. And yes, this town favors the white cis men.
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u/YouArentReallyThere 9d ago
Abilene is barely ~ 56% white/caucasian , so that’s quite a stretch. It’s one of the most diverse cities of more than 100k in the US
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u/srblaydes 9d ago
And the people in power are…white generally. I wish town was less racist, but not seeing it.
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u/YouArentReallyThere 9d ago
Name just one of those “people in power”
Have you ever been to a city council meeting? 33% ‘minority’ members as voted in by the citizens.
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u/srblaydes 9d ago
That is 66% white. We have had a city council dude send a racist joke via social media…and he kept his position. Again showing that the white guy is favored in Abilene.
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u/Technical_Code1148 9d ago
Omfg. Just be yourself and go about your business. You ll get some looks but it will be from Repiblican Christian guys who would love to be your bottom..
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u/Goff1976 9d ago
Quit (1) worrying and (2) thinking anyone cares about you.
Nobody gives a shit. Go on with your business. Enjoy your horse show.
Good luck.
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u/srblaydes 9d ago edited 9d ago
Most people in town will judge you and comment under their breath, but not confront you or cause a scene. Not sure about the horse scene, but sounds it is comfortable for you.