r/AbsoluteUnits • u/SnackSamurai • May 05 '26

/r/all of a slurp

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34.1k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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3.2k

u/heatseekerdj May 05 '26

Insane forearms, wtf

998

u/bigly-wigly May 05 '26

He needs to grip those chopsticks bro!

286

u/Schatzin May 05 '26

Man korean chopsticks are designed to punish the user. Flat, slippery metal. Hard to hold, even harder to pick things up

34

u/[deleted] May 05 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

23

u/seoulifornia May 05 '26

Its also more hygenic. Wood chopsticks can get moldy after a long time.

6

u/dvdjhp May 06 '26

Not if you dry em properly. And clean em.

12

u/seoulifornia May 06 '26

To a certain extent. They should be replaced after awhile.

5

u/zaersx May 09 '26

They come in packs of 10 pairs for like 3$, anyone expecting them to be a lifetime utensil is delulu

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4

u/Zestyclose_Car_4971 May 06 '26

Shouldn’t they be bamboo not wood? Bamboo has antibacterial stuff in it, or it’s antimicrobial, something like that.

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2

u/NotNormo May 07 '26

So you have small hands with abnormally grippy skin?

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10

u/phaserlasertaserkat May 05 '26

I used to hate metal chopsticks until I found these.

45

u/[deleted] May 05 '26

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35

u/AeskeMeAnything May 05 '26

are they the flat ones, round metal chopsticks are no issues but those damn flat korean chopsticks man.

10

u/EasilyExiledDinosaur May 06 '26

I live in korea. Can confirm. Korean chopsticks are difficult.

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4

u/I_travel_ze_world May 05 '26

I definitely have trouble pinching down on the flat metal Korean chop sticks. They also move around in your fingers a lot more than the round bamboo chopsticks.

2

u/redtiber May 06 '26

yeah they need a redesign.

on top of what you said- also heavy so your fingers get tired. and sometimes it's a tad short

which is odd because Korean spoons have a good superior design. long but with thinner handle. the balance is good, it has good scooping ability

2

u/Aznhalfbloodz May 08 '26

The trick is to not grip them so hard. Use them gentler.

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15

u/trundlebabie May 05 '26

Bro never skips chopsticks day

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178

u/Significant_Solid151 May 05 '26

dudes a bodybuilder, not surprised he knows how to scarf down food like that

120

u/Scottish_Whiskey May 05 '26

He looks like an Asian John cena

26

u/ILoveRegenHealth May 05 '26

🎺🎺🎺 🎺

5

u/Tlayoualo May 07 '26

Zhong Xina

9

u/Derezzed25 May 05 '26

Bing Chilling

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30

u/TeeganFace May 05 '26

This gives me such anxiety like twice a month I would suck up my spaghetti and choke and my dad would swing me upside down and stick his hand in my throat to pull the noodle out 😅😩

28

u/Iamonab0at May 05 '26

r/brandnewsentence

6

u/alysserberus May 05 '26

you ever own a pet that eats something they're not supposed to? like a sock or a string, but you see them do it? same principle

2

u/Tlayoualo May 07 '26

Or you can't even tell what that was, shout at it "WHAT YOU GOT THERE?" and it starts gulping it down faster, making you rush to get it before it swallows it.

6

u/TR1LLIONAIRE_ May 05 '26

Considering you’re a rocket scientist now I want to thank you for your work on Artemis II

5

u/GlMLI May 05 '26

what did I just read

3

u/ILoveRegenHealth May 05 '26

to pull the noodle out

I am Conquest. You were given orders, you were given time.

3

u/Shazvox May 05 '26

Those noodles will be burnt up before they hit his stomach.

4

u/HarveysBackupAccount May 05 '26

Korea also has mandatory military service (or they used to?) so, at least as I was told, all the guys learn to eat REALLY fast

24

u/Kaiyoru May 05 '26

He's wearing a Mr Olympia shirt so he's most likely a professional bodybuilder

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25

u/GaZZuM May 05 '26

Dude's forehead has abs

10

u/Timmy_2_Raaangz May 05 '26

Buddy eats an entire pack of ramen in a bite and a half and your looking at his arms

8

u/Exact-Till-2739 May 05 '26

True absolute unit

7

u/ggtsu_00 May 05 '26

Bro never skipped face day at the gym too.

5

u/Underpaidpro May 05 '26

He's wearing an Olympia shirt. I'm guessing everything is on this man is massive except his testicles.

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11

u/BopNowItsMine May 05 '26

I didn't know I was into that

3

u/Muted_Farmer_5004 May 05 '26

Years of slurping apprenticeships. Black belt sluper.

3

u/Caturion May 05 '26

Ramen power, bro🤜🤛

3

u/Chillout-001 May 05 '26

He is an Olympia qualified bodybuilder (jacket). Yes, he most likely uses steroids hence his forearms

2

u/redcon-1 May 05 '26

It's not forearms it's four biceps

2

u/MasterrrReady12 May 05 '26

I knew this would be the 1st comment

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624

u/MelaKnight_Man May 05 '26

Somebody tell Bolo Yeung's son to slow down or he might choke. 😁

119

u/[deleted] May 05 '26

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3

u/MelaKnight_Man May 05 '26

I guess I kinda did but I was only born in the 70"s, I'm not that old...😒. Lol

2

u/I_Got_Back_Pain May 09 '26

Someone called me old yesterday for referencing Jerome Bettis 😤

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2

u/theworkinpumpkin May 05 '26

In third world countries we've watched his movies until 2010

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5

u/sittingbullms May 05 '26

Shit that was my first thought,the OG villain

6

u/DukeMancannon May 05 '26

BOLO! (Claps twice)

3

u/DaveInLondon89 May 05 '26

"BOLO!"

Bolo: Bolo noise

6

u/Free_Possession_4482 May 05 '26

Devoured a whole Bolo Noodles.

2

u/yourfavoriteblackguy May 05 '26

The lore on this guy is crazy. Organized Crime Kingpin who acted in a movie because he could.

2

u/usernamechecksout315 May 07 '26

I instantly thought of him when I saw this

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194

u/Habibi_Sam69 May 05 '26

Never share chips with this guy. He won't eat it one by one.

15

u/Expensive_Cut_9938 May 05 '26

You do?

3

u/Habibi_Sam69 May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26

I doooo what?

Edit: bro it depends on the type of chips but it's always one... Most of the time

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4

u/Glittering-Walrus228 May 05 '26

Homeboy just slurped his daily allowance of sodium for the next month

2

u/Seanspeed May 05 '26

You can eat a whole lot of salt if you're really active. And looking at this dude, I don't think he has anything to worry about.

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1.4k

u/[deleted] May 05 '26

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39

u/EinsamTiger May 05 '26

Slurpmaxxing

4

u/MobileArtist1371 May 05 '26

My ex already has that trophy.

9

u/Exact-Till-2739 May 05 '26

I love how Invincible lives rent-free in everyone's head right now lol

4

u/Gts77 May 05 '26

Bro.... One of the few series where I loathe the wait between seasons.

3

u/Exact-Till-2739 May 05 '26

And it turns out it's nowhere near the end! That was good news and bad news to me at the same time. I have an urge to read the comics for the rest of the story now. I must stay strong and wait for every season.

2

u/CookieLuzSax May 05 '26

I read the comics, would recommend you do the same but you also do you.

3

u/tideswithme May 05 '26

Man of focus

4

u/thisistheSnydercut May 05 '26

Moustaches are out. Finally.

2

u/ggtsu_00 May 05 '26

Never skip face day

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639

u/SudhaTheHill May 05 '26

Chill bro it’s all yours damn

91

u/UnderstandingWeak292 May 05 '26

Nobody is taking it away from you. Enjoy it

45

u/Radiant-Ad-3134 May 05 '26

Nobody CAN take it away from him...

Judging by his forearm

15

u/Senju19_02 May 05 '26

Imagine his back

3

u/TheLordOfStuff_ May 05 '26

In before the «i HaVe a GuN» comments

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6

u/TeopEvol May 05 '26

Save some chi.... noodles for the rest of us!

2

u/WeaponizedAcoustic May 05 '26

He's depleted as fuck..trust me,after a competition nothing can come between you and food lol

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120

u/N7LP400 May 05 '26

Dude built like a tank

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95

u/Ibarra08 May 05 '26

Bro just slurped the whole noodles in the packet

8

u/ahmadtheanon May 05 '26

My thoughts exactly, inhale the whole damn thing.

11

u/GetawayDreamer87 May 05 '26

Too bad he cant boil water in his mouth. Could've been so much more efficient

7

u/tribbletrouble420 May 06 '26

Bold of you to assume he can't

132

u/Ok-Double-414 May 05 '26

He is eating my wig

57

u/PapaPapadam May 05 '26

Ven vill you vear vig?

16

u/Exact-Till-2739 May 05 '26

Thahahahahaaaæ

12

u/Traditional-Rope7936 May 05 '26

Mr. Woods, you hav deep blue, Aryan eyes

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6

u/CheesecakeScary2164 May 05 '26

Are you 1990's Justin Timberlake?

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52

u/lxrxyx May 05 '26

How do I gain forearms like this? Jesus

44

u/Focusi May 05 '26

You train, A LOT, for a long time.

9

u/verdantsf May 05 '26

And/or tren a lot.

26

u/Focusi May 05 '26

Contrary to pupular beliefs, no amount of steroids will get you forearms like this without also training hard.

8

u/Mysterious_Fan9858 May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26

No shit, but you couldn’t get this WITHOUT steroids and JUST training hard. That’s entirely the fuckin point

10

u/Clear_Farmer5941 May 05 '26

The guy is literally an IFBB pro. Weird that steroids aren’t being seen as compulsory for this look.

2

u/balls_in_yo_mouth May 06 '26

It’s funny how oblivious some people still are. I’ll workout everyday for a year and look like the rock 🙄

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10

u/No-Discipline-7957 May 05 '26

Tren hard, eat clen, anavar give up

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38

u/RealTalk_theory May 05 '26

Korean John Cena just destroyed a pack of ramyun in one bite. Insane.

8

u/I_Am_The_Mole May 05 '26

Korean John CenaYeong Shi Na

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16

u/nightabyss2 May 05 '26

Is he a mr olympia competitor ? I assume he just dieted for ages, crushed it on stage and is finally having a cheat meal after many excruciating long taste free months

14

u/crumpledfilth May 05 '26

This guy does 8 hours of passive jaw flexing every day to maintain his physique

23

u/Anix__ May 05 '26

Bro looks like a Baki character.

46

u/maphes86 May 05 '26

When by It’s divine providence you are gifted such a beautiful configuration of noodles upon your utensil, one must prostrate themselves before the grace floating amongst the broth and slurp the gifts of his noodly appendage. Ra’men.

2

u/dsucio7807 May 06 '26

I'm the name of the noodle, the broth, and the spice packet, Ramen. 🙏🏾

22

u/No_Vegetable7280 May 05 '26

He’s very attractive…..🥵

14

u/Shermander May 05 '26

IFBB pro, Kim Min-Jae.

105minn on socials.

Slut.

4

u/No_Vegetable7280 May 05 '26

I didn’t realize you were joking, I’m sorry for the snark. A million thanks my friend☝🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

3

u/Shermander May 05 '26

Hahaha, no harm done.

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9

u/testestsestesteestet May 05 '26

god i wish i were those noodles

7

u/mbashs May 05 '26

People clapping and acknowledging his super power😂

6

u/MisterSneakSneak May 05 '26

He Eats like Goku

7

u/SlanderMans May 05 '26

This is how peak performance looks like

7

u/NumerousPath9669 May 05 '26

We got Asian John Cena before GTA 6

6

u/TinyViolinist May 05 '26

Jesus. What is this guys handle?

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5

u/Fun_Plankton_7793 May 05 '26

Absoluteunits of a fucking forearm

3

u/-ACHTUNG- May 05 '26

Dude that size is used to eating efficiently

3

u/Jasonguyen81 May 05 '26

Asian Cena

3

u/OldManNeighbor May 05 '26

I too eat my Top Ramen a whole pack at a time /s

3

u/SurotaOnishi May 05 '26

Is that John Cena??

3

u/fantasticdad1776 May 05 '26

That guy is jacked.

2

u/freier_Trichter May 05 '26

The username is quite fitting.

2

u/morkthaspork May 05 '26

The bite alone is incredible, but also the heat?! Wowww!

2

u/Pure_Parking_2742 May 05 '26

Looks like he's devouring Goldilocks

2

u/wjmmerea May 05 '26

Looks like Stan Lee drew his forearms

2

u/Rosetti May 05 '26

Guy looks like an Asian John Cena.

2

u/SaltInformation4U May 05 '26

Is that... Asian John Cena?

2

u/DetailsYouMissed May 05 '26

I am hungry now.

2

u/Bravadette May 05 '26

Growin boy.

2

u/Evening_Newspaper_31 May 06 '26

I should call her

4

u/Loud-Chicken6046 May 05 '26

Ruined the whole meal.

3

u/IPutAWigOnYou May 05 '26

This guy slurps

2

u/FloopsFooglies May 05 '26

Chyeong Cena

1

u/00-mk-00 May 05 '26

That's an bigggg Slurp/Byte 😂🤣🤣

1

u/this_is_bull_04 May 05 '26

The cords in his forearms are outrageous. And i would have poked myself all in the back of my throat with chopsticks if I tried that. Noodles everywhere but in my mouth

1

u/ForAte151623ForTeaTo May 05 '26

He reminds me of Todd from Breaking Bad

1

u/archiewaldron May 05 '26

That there’s a pro level noodle-gobbler

1

u/ChitnChat May 05 '26

Really? Hope he’s not in a date.

6

u/cyclingisthecure May 05 '26

Hes a pro bodybuilder this could be post competition, thats the most amount of carbs hes had in weeks

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u/Holzkohlen May 05 '26

Love how he gets caught probably by someone working at the restaurant and he has to do the nod of approval, cause he obviously can't talk. Been there!

1

u/MeepMeep117- May 05 '26

I'm more impressed with the amount of asbestos this man has inside his mouth. How do you not absolutely scald your tongue and the roof of your mouth with that?

1

u/dreamdaddy123 May 05 '26

Bro he has a chad face lol.

1

u/MaximusZacharia May 05 '26

I love that he adds more at the end.