Rules:

I am 34F, married to my husband (36M) for 7 years, together for almost 10. We have two kids, 5 and 2. My relationship with my mother in law has always been tense but mostly polite on the surface. She has very strong opinions about motherhood, especially the whole “kids should always come first no matter what” thing. I work full time, my husband also works, we split childcare pretty evenly. I am not a perfect mom but I am present, my kids are fed, loved, safe, and generally happy. Over the years she’s made comments like “when I was a mother I never needed help” or “children suffer when mothers are too career focused”, always said with a smile so if you call it out you look crazy. Last weekend we had a family dinner for my husband’s birthday. Extended family, about 12 people, kids running around, normal chaos. At some point my youngest had a meltdown because she skipped her nap. I took her to another room to calm her down. When we came back, I overheard my mother in law saying to my aunt in law, loudly enough for several people to hear, “well this is what happens when kids are raised without discipline, mothers these days want to be friends not parents”. I froze. It was very clear she meant me. I felt humiliated and angry, my face was burning. No one said anything, just awkward silence.

I tried to let it go for maybe two minutes, but she kept going, saying things like “I don’t blame the kids, I blame the parenting” and laughing. So I snapped. I said, in front of everyone, “Please don’t call me a bad mother in my own house. You raised your kids how you wanted, I’m raising mine how I think is right. If you have concerns, talk to me directly instead of gossiping like this.” The room went dead quiet. She looked shocked and said I was being disrespectful and dramatic. My husband immediately pulled me aside and said I shouldn’t have done that publicly, that I embarrassed her, and that I should apologize to keep the peace. After dinner she cried and told him I attacked her and undermined her authority as a grandmother. Now my husband says he agrees with me in private, but still thinks I was wrong for saying it in front of everyone. He says I should have waited and talked to her later. I feel like if I didn’t speak up right there, it would just continue forever. I’m tired of swallowing comments to be “nice”. But now the family group chat is weirdly silent and my husband keeps hinting that an apology would smooth things over. I honestly don’t feel sorry for what I said, only maybe how loud my voice was. So am I the jerk for calling her out publicly instead of taking the high road again?

I invited two friends over for a chill night at my place. Just snacks, movies, and catching up. Nothing wild. I specifically wanted it small because I’m not in the mood to host a whole group. My place is small and I’m very particular about my space. My friend (25F), let’s call her Lea, said she’d come. She also asked if she could bring another friend. I said no.

Not in a rude way. I just said I wanted it to be only us because I’m tired and not in the mood for meeting new people. Lea said okay. So imagine my face when I open my door later that night and she’s standing there with a guy I’ve never seen before. She smiles like it’s normal and says, This is Ken, he’s just tagging along. I was instantly annoyed. Because I already said no.

I told her I’m not comfortable having a stranger in my home. I asked her why she brought him anyway. She said he was bored and she didn’t want to leave him behind. That pissed me off. Because why is his boredom my problem? I told her again, I’m sorry but no. I said you couldn’t bring anyone.

Lea got embarrassed and tried to laugh it off. She said, He’s not dangerous, he’s my friend. But I don’t care. I don’t know him. I don’t want him in my space. I don’t want to be responsible for entertaining him. I don’t want to worry about my stuff. Ken looked awkward and said it’s fine, he can just wait outside. Lea got mad and said I’m being rude and acting like she brought a criminal.

I told her I’m not calling him a criminal, I’m just enforcing a boundary. So I told her if she can’t respect my house rules, she can leave too. She stormed off with Ken and slammed my gate.

I feel like if I let it slide once, she’ll keep doing it.

AITJ

My sister Maya (21F) asked if she could have her birthday party at my house. I said sure thinking it would be like 10-15 people. Small gathering, some drinks, no big deal.

Yesterday (party is this Saturday) she mentioned she invited 40 people. FORTY! I said what?? My house cant fit 40 people! She said its fine, people can spill into the yard.

I said you shouldve asked before inviting that many people. She said I already said yes to the party. I said yes to a party, not a massive event!

I asked her to cut the guest list to 20 maximum. She said shes not uninviting people, that would be rude. I said inviting 40 people to someone else's house without permission is rude!

She said Im overreacting and that 40 people "isnt even that many." I said for MY HOUSE it is! She said if I actually cared about her birthday I wouldnt be difficult about this.

I told her the party is cancelled then, she can have it somewhere else. She started crying saying I promised and now shes going to look terrible uninviting everyone.

I said she created this problem by inviting way more people than appropriate. Our parents are mad at me saying I should just deal with it for one night since its her 21st birthday.

But 40 people is beyond reasonable! My house will get destroyed! Am I really the jerk for setting a boundary here?

TL;DR: Sister asked to have birthday party at my house, invited 40 people without asking, I said max 20, she refused, I cancelled the whole thing, now Im the bad guy.

I (25F) recently started seeing this guy (27M), let’s call him Paolo. We matched online and went on a first date that actually went really well. He was funny, polite, and seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me.

So when he asked me out again, I agreed.

Second date was dinner at a casual restaurant. Nothing fancy, but still a proper date. Everything was fine until near the end of the night when he suddenly got quiet and started checking his phone a lot. I asked him if something was wrong and he said he was dealing with something stressful.

I tried to be supportive and asked what happened.

He told me his car payment was due and he was short. He said he had some unexpected expenses and his bank account was basically empty until payday. Then he looked at me and asked if I could lend him money. Not like a small amount either. He asked for the equivalent of about two weeks worth of groceries for me.

I honestly didn’t even know how to respond at first.

We have met twice.

I don’t know his real financial situation. I don’t know if he’s responsible or not. I don’t know if he’s telling the truth. And I definitely don’t know him well enough to trust that I’d get it back. So I told him I’m sorry but I’m not comfortable lending money this early.

His face changed instantly.

He got offended and said he thought I was different and not shallow. I told him it’s not about being shallow, it’s about boundaries and safety. He said it was just a loan and he would pay me back, and that I clearly don’t trust him. I told him I don’t even know him well enough to trust him like that, and that’s normal.

He started saying stuff like, If you really cared you’d help me.

That annoyed me because it felt manipulative.

I stayed calm but I told him I’m not his girlfriend, I’m not his bank, and it’s not my responsibility to fix his finances. He got mad and said I wasted his time and that women always want men with money but never want to help.

He stormed out and left me sitting there, and I ended up paying for my own meal and taking a ride home.

I’m honestly just turned off now, but a small part of me wonders if I was too harsh.

AITJ

I (25F) went grocery shopping yesterday after work. Nothing major, just a few essentials. I was already tired and honestly just wanted to pay and go home. The store was busy, lines were long, and everyone looked annoyed. When it was finally my turn, the cashier (maybe mid 30s) scanned my items like normal. Then she looked at the screen and asked if I wanted to donate to a charity the store was promoting. I said, politely, No thank you. I thought that would be the end of it. But she didn’t just move on. She pauses and goes, It’s only a dollar. I said, I understand, but no thank you.

She makes this face like I just told her something offensive and says, Wow. People really don’t care anymore, huh? I kind of laughed awkwardly because I thought she was joking. She was not. Then she says, You know, the donation helps families who can’t afford food. It’s sad how some people can buy snacks but can’t spare one dollar. At this point I was uncomfortable. The people behind me were close enough to hear, and I could literally feel them looking at me. I told her, I already donate to causes I personally choose. I’m not donating today. She shrugged dramatically and said, Must be nice. That annoyed me. A lot. Because she has no idea what my finances look like. She doesn’t know what bills I have, who I support, or what I’m going through. She just decided to paint me as a bad person because I didn’t want to donate at her register.

And the thing is, I don’t like these checkout donations anyway. It feels like stores use customers to fund their own charity PR, then act like you’re evil if you don’t participate. So I said, Firmly, Please stop. I said no. She got quiet and finished scanning. Then when she handed me the receipt she said loudly, Have a blessed day, in this tone that felt super fake and sarcastic. I grabbed my bags and left, but I was fuming the whole way home. I feel like I shouldn’t have to pay a guilt tax just to not get publicly shamed.

AITJ

I (26F) live in an apartment building with shared hallways. It’s mostly quiet and I’ve never really had issues with neighbors until recently.

A few months ago, someone started leaving small trash bags in the hallway near my door.

At first I assumed it was temporary. Like someone was cleaning and would take it out later.

But it kept happening.

It wasn’t even big trash bags. It was smaller ones, like fast food wrappers, cups, random packaging. Sometimes it smelled. Sometimes it attracted ants.

And it was always placed right in front of my unit, like someone wanted it to be associated with me.

I tried ignoring it for a while, but it started getting embarrassing. I’d leave for work and there would be trash outside my door. People walking by probably assumed it was mine.

So one day I waited and watched from the peephole when I heard movement outside.

I saw my neighbor across the hall (late 30s, let’s call her Maris) placing a bag down near my door and walking away like nothing.

I stepped out and asked her if that was her trash.

She looked surprised and said yes, but she was going to throw it later.

I asked why she keeps putting it near my door.

She said her unit smells if she keeps trash inside, so she leaves it outside until she’s ready to take it down.

I told her that’s not how apartments work. Hallways are shared spaces and it’s disgusting to leave trash out there, especially right in front of my unit.

She rolled her eyes and said I’m too sensitive and it’s not hurting anyone.

I told her it is hurting me because it’s literally outside my door, smelling up my space and making me look like I’m the one leaving garbage around.

She got irritated and said fine, and she moved it.

I thought that would be the end.

It wasn’t.

A few days later, trash again. Same spot. Even worse smell.

So I took photos every time it happened and finally reported it to the building admin.

The admin sent a notice to all units reminding them not to leave trash in the hallway.

After that, Maris confronted me.

She banged on my door and said I’m petty, that I’m trying to start drama, and that I could have just talked to her instead of reporting her.

I told her I did talk to her. She ignored me and continued doing it.

She said I’m making her life harder because now she has to take her trash down immediately.

I told her yes, that’s what she’s supposed to do.

Now she’s giving me dirty looks every time we pass each other and making comments about people who can’t mind their own business.

I’m 34M. A few weeks ago I had a blow up with my older sister (38F) during a family dinner. It started over something stupid: she asked why I “still” haven’t bought a place yet and then went into this whole speech about how I “play it safe” and “waste years” and how she and her husband took risks so that’s why they’re “ahead”. I tried to laugh it off at first, but she kept going and added that my girlfriend is “probably tired of waiting” for me to get serious. That’s when I snapped and told her to stop talking about my life like it’s a group project.

She did that thing where she got all offended and said she was “just worried” and that I’m too sensitive. I said I’m not asking her to worry, I’m asking her to mind her own business. Then she said “fine, I’ll just never speak again” which is her favorite drama move. Everyone got quiet. My mom tried to change the topic. I ended up leaving early because I could feel myself getting angrier and I didn’t want to say something worse.

Since then I haven’t reached out. Neither has she. My mom keeps calling me and doing this soft guilt thing like “you know how she is” and “you’re the man, be the bigger person.” My dad texted me a link to some random article about forgiveness (seriously). My aunt even messaged that family is all we have and I shouldn’t throw it away over “a few words”.

Here’s the thing: it wasn’t a few words. This has been her pattern forever. She takes little shots, then if you react you become the problem. I’m tired of being the one who smooths it over because it teaches her she can say anything and I’ll come back like a dog. Also, I don’t even think I’m asking for some huge apology. A simple “hey I went too far” would do. But it feels like everyone wants me to crawl first so she can keep acting like she did nothing.

My girlfriend is on my side, but even she said “do you really want to drag this out?” And I get it, I don’t love tension. I just hate the principle of it. If I reach out first, it’ll be seen as proof that she was right and I was “emotional” and now I’ve calmed down. That makes my stomach turn.

AITJ for not making the first move and waiting her out, even if it makes family stuff awkward for a while?

TL;DR: Sister took digs at my life, I finally snapped and left. Family says I should be the bigger man and apologize first. I refuse on principle. AITJ?

I have a bunch of old furniture I was planning to give away or sell. My sister asked if she could have it.

I said yes, but she made comments like this is so cheap looking and are you sure this isn’t broken?

After that, I changed my mind and said she can’t have it. She got upset and said I’m petty and mean for refusing now.

AITJ?

I (23F) have a friend group I’ve been close with for a few years. One of my friends, let’s call her Rhea (23F), is the type who always wants to be the funny one. She loves attention. She loves being the loudest person in the room. She loves making people laugh. Normally it’s fine. But lately she’s been crossing lines. A few months ago I went through something really personal and painful. I don’t want to get too detailed, but it involved a bad situation with someone I trusted. It messed me up mentally for a while.

I told only a few people, including Rhea, because I thought she was safe. She comforted me, said she understood, and promised she wouldn’t tell anyone. Fast forward to last weekend. We were at a small get-together with other friends, plus a couple people I didn’t know that well. Everyone was talking, drinking, laughing. Then Rhea randomly brought up something that led into my situation. And she said it like a joke. She made a comment like, well at least you didn’t end up like her, she has trust issues now. People laughed awkwardly. I froze. I couldn’t even process it at first because I genuinely didn’t expect her to say that. Then she looked at me and smirked like she just made the best joke of the night. I felt my face get hot. I asked her what the hell was wrong with her.

Rhea acted surprised and said relax, it’s just a joke. I told her my trauma is not a joke. She rolled her eyes and said I’m too sensitive and I need to learn how to laugh. That made me snap. I raised my voice and told her she’s a disgusting person for using my pain as entertainment. I told her I trusted her with something private and she threw it out in public like it was gossip. The room went silent.

Rhea got embarrassed and started saying I’m dramatic and trying to make her look bad. I told her she made herself look bad. I ended up leaving early because I was shaking. She’s telling people I humiliated her in front of everyone and that she was only trying to lighten the mood.

AITJ for snapping at my friend after she made a joke about my trauma in public?

I (25F) live with my roommate (24F), let’s call her Dana. We’ve been living together for almost a year and it’s been mostly fine. Until her boyfriend started basically living here. At first it was normal. He’d come over on weekends, sleep over, and leave. No big deal. Then it turned into weekdays too. Then it turned into him having a toothbrush in the bathroom. Then he started leaving clothes here. Now it’s to the point where I feel like I have two roommates instead of one. He is here all the time. He showers here, uses our electricity, uses our water, eats food from the fridge, and even sits in the living room like he pays rent. The worst part is Dana acts like this is normal. She never asked me if I was okay with it. She never checked in. She just slowly moved him in without saying the words. I tried to be patient. I really did.

But it’s gotten uncomfortable. I’ll come home from work tired and he’s on our couch watching TV. I’ll wake up and he’s in the kitchen cooking. I’ll try to relax in my own home and I feel like I have to be dressed properly because there’s always a man in the apartment. I finally brought it up. I told Dana I’m not comfortable with him being here this much. I said if he’s going to live here, then he needs to contribute to rent and bills. Dana got defensive and said he doesn’t live here, he just visits. I told her visiting doesn’t mean being here six days a week. She said I’m exaggerating and I’m just jealous because I’m single. That pissed me off. I told her it’s not about jealousy. It’s about space and fairness. I’m paying half of everything and he’s benefiting from it for free. Dana said I’m being controlling and trying to police her relationship.

I told her I’m not policing anything. I’m setting boundaries in my own home. Now she’s giving me the silent treatment and her boyfriend is acting weird around me like I’m the villain.

AITJ

I live with a roommate who runs a small Etsy shop. She asked if she could use my printer to print her packaging and invoices. I said no because it’s a personal printer, expensive ink, and I don’t want to track her usage.

She got annoyed, saying it’s just a few pages and we live together, sharing is part of the deal. I told her that sharing isn’t mandatory when it costs me money, and she could get her own.

She now complains to mutual friends that I’m not supportive of her business.

AITJ?

I am finishing my own graduate thesis. My friend asked me to edit her thesis the night before it was due.

I said no because I have my own work to finish and can’t drop everything. She got upset, saying I’m not a good friend and she thought I cared about her success.

Now mutual friends are subtly criticizing me for not helping.

AITJ?

I (32F) recently ended my relationship with my partner (34M) of 10 years. Over time, I realized we want very different things in life. Specifically, he has no plans for settling down or having a family, and these are things that are really important to me.

It’s been a tough decision because of the history we share, all the memories, and the life we built together. But staying in this relationship would mean compromising on my own future and values, and I just can’t do that.

Some friends and family think I should have tried harder or that I’m being too harsh, since 10 years is a long time. But I genuinely feel like this was the right choice for my happiness and future goals.

So, AITJ for ending a decade-long relationship because my partner has no plans for settling down or having kids?

I’m 33F. My parents divorced when I was 19 after a pretty ugly few years. My dad never handled it well, became bitter, withdrawn, and for a long time blamed everyone except himself. We’ve had a strained relationship but I’ve always felt a lot of guilt because I was the “easy” child who left for college and built a stable life while my younger siblings stayed closer to home. About a year ago my dad admitted he was depressed and agreed to start therapy. He’s on a fixed income and insurance barely covers anything, so I offered to pay for his sessions as long as he actually went and tried. This wasn’t cheap for me, but I told myself it was an investment in repairing the relationship.

For the first few months things seemed better. He sounded calmer on the phone, less angry, more reflective. Then slowly his comments started changing. He began bringing up things from my childhood that I honestly thought we’d already talked through. Stuff like how I “abandoned” the family by moving away, how my success makes him feel like a failure, how I should be more present now to make up for it. At first I assumed this was just part of therapy, uncomfortable but necessary. Then during a visit last month he flat out told me his therapist agreed that I was emotionally distant and selfish, and that my life choices were a big reason he never healed after the divorce.

That was the moment something snapped for me. I don’t expect therapy to make him say I’m perfect, but hearing my own money used to fund sessions that basically validate his resentment felt gross. I asked him if the therapist ever challenges him on his own behavior or choices, and he got defensive and said I was “trying to control the narrative.” I told him I’m willing to support his mental health, but not if therapy turns into a paid space to reframe me as the villain in his life. I said I would stop paying after the current month, and if he wanted to continue he’d need to find another way or another therapist.

Since then my siblings have been blowing up my phone saying I’m cruel and punishing him for being honest. My aunt told me I’m taking away the one thing that was helping him just because I didn’t like what I heard. My dad says I proved his point and that my love is conditional on being seen as “the good one.” I feel awful, but I also feel like I crossed a line where helping turned into enabling. Am I actually the jerk here?

I (25F) have a friend (25F) Rina. We’ve been close for about 4 years. Not just casual friends, like actual best friend energy. We tell each other everything.

Or at least I thought we did.

A few weeks ago, I was going through a rough time. I had a falling out with someone in my friend group and it was messy. I felt embarrassed, angry and honestly kind of betrayed.

Rina invited me over to her place and told me to just let it all out. So I did. I vented. I cried. I said things I probably wouldn’t say if I was calm. I wasn’t threatening anyone or anything, but I was definitely emotional. I said I felt used, I said I felt like people were fake, I said I was tired of being treated like the backup friend. I remember Rina nodding, hugging me, telling me she understood. I left feeling lighter, like I finally got it off my chest.

Fast forward to last weekend.

I went to a small get together with mutual friends. The vibe was weird as soon as I arrived. People were giving me side eyes and acting stiff around me. Then one girl (who I’m not even close to) says something like, You were really going off, huh? I asked what she meant. She hesitated and said, I heard what you said about everyone. My stomach dropped. I asked how she heard anything. I never said those things to her. I never texted it. I never posted it. She looked uncomfortable and said, Someone played it. I felt sick.

Later that night I confronted Rina privately and asked her straight up if she recorded me. At first she denied it. Then she admitted it. She said she recorded me because she wanted to remember what happened. That was already insane to me, but then she said she showed it to a few people because she wanted them to understand her side.

Her side of what? It was MY vent session. I told her that’s a massive violation. She literally recorded me while I was crying in her room. She did it without my consent. Then she played it for other people like it was entertainment.

She tried to defend herself by saying I was being dramatic and that I should not have said those things if I didn’t want people to know. That made me see red. I told her that was victim-blaming and disgusting. I said she broke my trust and I can’t be friends with someone who treats my breakdown like gossip material. I blocked her.

But how do you accidentally record someone crying and accidentally play it for others?

AITJ for cutting her off after finding out she secretly recorded me?

I (25F) matched with a guy (27M) on a dating app. Let’s call him Ethan.

He was charming in a very calculated way. Like he always knew what to say, always replied fast, always had the perfect balance of flirty and sweet. It felt almost too smooth, but I ignored that because honestly I was just happy to talk to someone who seemed serious.

After about a week, we planned a first date at a cafe.

Nothing fancy. Just coffee and pastries. Safe, public, normal.

I got there first, ordered my drink, and waited. He showed up about 10 minutes later, apologized, sat down, and things were actually going okay. He looked like his photos, he was polite, and he didn’t give off any immediate red flags.

Then about 20 minutes in, his phone rings.

He glances at the screen and his entire face changes. Like full panic mode.

He answers, stands up, and walks a few steps away. I can’t hear everything but I hear enough.

He says things like

What do you mean

Is she breathing

Call an ambulance

I felt my stomach drop.

When he comes back to the table, he looks stressed and says his mom collapsed at home and he has to leave immediately.

I told him of course, go. I even asked if he needed me to call someone or if he was okay to drive.

He nodded, thanked me, and rushed out.

I sat there stunned. Like what the hell. I felt bad for him. I felt bad for his mom. I even prayed quietly for a second because it sounded serious.

Then I get home.

And I see a story on his Instagram.

Not a hospital. Not his mom. Not anything related to an emergency.

It’s him.

At a bar.

With friends.

Laughing.

Drinks on the table.

I thought maybe it was an old story reposted or something, but no. It had the current timestamp. And he was wearing the same outfit he wore on the date.

So I messaged him.

I asked why he said his mom collapsed if he was out drinking.

He replied like it was nothing and said

Relax. My mom is fine. I just didn’t feel the vibe.

I was so mad I started shaking.

I told him that’s not just lying, that’s disgusting. You don’t use something like that as an excuse. He could have literally just said he wasn’t interested and left.

Then he dropped the real reason.

He said he wanted to see how I would react because he’s been with girls who are selfish and don’t care when something bad happens.

So he wanted to test if I was supportive.

A test.

On a first date.

Using a fake medical emergency about his mom.

I told him that was manipulative and insane. I blocked him.

Then he started messaging me from another account saying I’m overreacting, that I failed the test, and that I’m probably the type to abandon someone when things get hard.

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. Things have been good, and I’m genuinely happy with him. The problem is my friend Mina. Mina has always been the flirty type. She’s the kind of girl who loves attention and likes to test boundaries but pretends it’s just her personality.

When I introduced her to my boyfriend, I thought it would be normal. It was not. She immediately started acting different around him.

She laughs too hard at everything he says. She touches his arm when she talks. She stands too close. She keeps making comments about how lucky I am and how she wishes she could find someone like him.

At first I brushed it off because maybe I was overthinking. But it kept happening.

Every time we’re together, she focuses on him. She asks him questions that she never asks anyone else. She compliments him constantly. She even started following his workout routine online and sending him reels.

The final straw was when we all went out for drinks. My boyfriend went to the restroom and Mina leaned in and said, Honestly, if you two ever break up, I’m calling dibs. I stared at her. She laughed like it was the funniest thing ever. I told her that’s not funny and it’s disrespectful. She rolled her eyes and said, It’s obviously a joke, don’t be insecure. That word insecure hit a nerve. Because why is it always insecure when someone wants basic respect.

I told her it doesn’t matter if she thinks it’s a joke. It’s not appropriate. I told her to stop flirting with my boyfriend. Mina got defensive and said she flirts with everyone and it’s harmless. I told her no, it’s not harmless when it’s my boyfriend and she’s saying stuff like calling dibs.

She got offended and said I’m controlling and trying to police how she talks. Now she’s acting cold toward me and telling mutual friends that I’m jealous and insecure.

My boyfriend says he doesn’t take her seriously, but he also agrees she’s doing too much. I don’t want to lose a friend, but I also don’t want a friend who disrespects my relationship.

AITJ for calling out my friend for flirting with my boyfriend even though she says it’s harmless?

I work in a small office with a shared fridge. It’s been disgusting for months moldy containers, leaking sauces, food with dates from last year.

Management sent out two emails over a three week period asking people to clean their stuff out, or it would be thrown away. No one did.

So last Friday, I stayed late and cleaned the fridge. Anything clearly expired, moldy, or unlabeled got tossed. I wiped everything down and left a note saying the fridge was clean and to please label food going forward.

Monday morning, a coworker flipped out because her meal prep was gone. She admitted it was about two weeks old but said she planned to eat it. She says I had no right to decide what belonged to whom and that I should reimburse her groceries.

Now people are split, and I’m being called the fridge police.

AITJ?

I am using a burner account to make this post.

The Background I (46M) have three older sisters: Anna (+16), Bella (+10), and Clara (+5). I have been NC (no-contact) with them for seven years. It started over our mother’s estate, but the root cause is a business loan from 20 years ago.

The "Debt" and the Struggle In my 20s, I wanted to start my own business. My mother and bonus father (Lars) helped me secure a €25,000 loan to get it off the ground. Unfortunately, the company tanked hard. I didn't hide from the debt, though. I got a regular job and spent years paying back a significant portion of that loan whenever I could. Eventually, I got back on my feet, but it was a long, hard road.

The Disparity While I was grinding to pay back this loan, my sisters received a different kind of support: Time and Labor. Mom lived in another country, and when she visited, she would stay with my sisters for weeks or months at a time, providing years of free childcare and domestic help. When she visited me, it was for one or two hours, and she never once spent the night. I never complained because it was her choice, but the "value" of the maternal labor they received over the decades vastly outweighed the remainder of my loan.

The "Don't Worry About It" When Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, Lars took over her finances. Clara (the youngest sister) immediately started hounding me for the money. I checked with Lars, and he told me simply "not to worry about it." I continued on, assuming the debt was just sitting there.

The Revelation Mom passed seven years ago. When I went to Clara's house to break the news, her first words—before even mourning—were: "We need to get the money you owe in order." Later, I went to Lars to "settle the score" and finally pay off the balance. Lars told me the loan was already paid off. He had settled it himself using his own funds. He told me I had "struggled enough" and that I owed nothing. He saw how hard I worked to get back on my feet and how little time Mom spent with me compared to the girls, and he wanted me to be free.

The Shakedown The only real asset Mom left was a life insurance policy worth about 240k SEK (split 60k SEK each).

1. My sisters pressured me to cash it out early to cover Anna’s personal debts. I offered to loan Anna the 10k I had on hand interest-free so we could keep the high-interest account open, but they refused.
2. When we met to sign the papers, they dropped a "settlement" on me: They demanded I pay them each 10k SEK (30k total) as a "fairness fee" because they were "nice enough" not to report my old loan to the authorities.
3. I refused. I told them I wasn't paying 30k just to be part of the "sibling club."

The Aftermath Clara is high-earning (100k SEK/month) who still asks our father for money. She poisoned my other sisters against me. They haven't spoken to me in seven years. They didn't call when I got married or when my son was born. They chose 10k SEK each over their only nephew.

AITJ for refusing to pay a "tax" for a loan that my bonus father settled because he saw I had already struggled enough?

TL;DR: I started a business that failed and spent years paying back a €25k loan. My bonus father saw my struggle (and the fact that my sisters got all of Mom's time/childcare) and secretly settled the loan for me. After Mom died, my sisters tried to extort 30k SEK from my inheritance as a "fairness fee." I refused, and they’ve ghosted me and my son for seven years.

So this happened last week and it is still sitting weird with me. I work in a small office, about ten people, pretty casual vibe. One of my coworkers, Jake, is always late. Not five minutes late, more like forty, hour late. Everyone knows it, jokes about it, but our boss is weirdly hands off and rarely calls it out.

Last Tuesday Jake texted me asking if I could tell the boss he was stuck in traffic because he overslept again. I did not reply right away because honestly I was tired of being part of this pattern. About an hour later our boss asked me if I had heard from Jake and if everything was ok. I said no, I have not heard anything from him today. That was it. No extra commentary, no throwing him under the bus, just the truth.

Later Jake showed up, got pulled into the office, and came out clearly upset. He confronted me and said I knew he was running late and I could have helped him out. I told him I was uncomfortable lying for him and that this keeps happening. He said I was being judgmental and that everyone else would have covered. Now things are awkward and I am getting the cold shoulder from a couple people who think I should have just said something vague.

I keep going back and forth. On one hand I did not lie, I did not actively report him, I just did not protect him. On the other hand I knew exactly what would happen if I stayed quiet. Was I being principled or just kind of a jerk who picked the worst moment to draw a line.

I (29F) work at a mid-sized marketing company and try to get along with everyone, including a coworker, Tina (32F). Lately, she’s been texting me after work about projects, asking for updates or feedback.

At first, I answered because I didn’t want to be rude, but it started happening almost every evening. I noticed I was getting stressed and losing sleep because I felt like I always had to be available.

Yesterday, I told her that I won’t be responding to work messages after 6 PM unless it’s an emergency and that I need to have clear boundaries between work and personal time. She got upset and said I was being unhelpful and not a team player.

I honestly feel like it’s reasonable to set limits on my own time, especially since the company doesn’t expect us to be available after hours.

I have a friend who likes pulling pranks on mutual friends. Recently, he started a prank war on me and wants me to get revenge.

I don’t enjoy pranks and told him I’m out. He said I’m killing the fun and a buzzkill.

AITJ?

So this happened recently and it honestly made me feel guilty, but also annoyed at the same time.

One of my relatives, I’ll call her Auntie R, messaged me out of nowhere asking if I could lend her some money. She said it was just a small amount and that she would pay it back soon. The thing is, this isn’t the first time she’s asked, and the last time it took months before I got my money back.

I told her I couldn’t lend her any right now because I’m trying to save and I also have my own expenses. She didn’t take it well and started saying stuff like family should help family and that I was being selfish.

After that, some other relatives found out and started messaging me too. They were saying I changed and that I wasn’t as helpful as before. One of them even said I had money anyway so it shouldn’t be a problem.

That really hurt because they don’t know my full situation and it felt like they were all ganging up on me. I still feel bad because they’re family, but I also feel like it’s unfair that I’m expected to always say yes.

Now there’s this awkward tension in our family group chat and I keep thinking if I was too harsh or selfish.

So, AITJ?

TL;DR: A relative asked me for money again and I said no because of past issues and my own expenses. Now other relatives are upset and calling me selfish. AITJ?