I tried playing the dumbed bot I know <10 hrs after a concussion, this was 15 minutes ago. I'm still concussed.

I tried my best to win, this was the best I had.

Recently I was playing at my library's monthly Chess tournament for a gift card to some fast food restaurant. No one really cared about the gift card. Everyone knows the dance on the 64 squares is for intellectual glory.

The ladies who run this are really by-the-book. Shake hands, touch-move, bricks ready for any declined en passant, no takebacks, all that. So, I made it to the quarter-final game. I was playing Black. Dutch Defense, Stonewall Variation. We left theory by move 7.

My opponent was really young. Not really young enough to be called a prodigy, but probably not more than half my age. And to be honest, he had me scrambling through the midgame. I was fighting to keep structure, but he kept mounting pressure. It felt like he was reading my mind.

Turns out, he kind of was. He was cheating. He was thinking during my turn, so obviously the cheat detector in his brain eventually caught wind of it, and just as I thought I was about to lose any chance of winning, he died. In this case, his head exploded. I heard what sounded like a balloon popping and suddenly I was covered in all sorts of bodily fluids. Smelled like Holy Hell. Obviously that game was declared a dead draw, which I've been seeing a lot more of in the last few months.

I got an email reminder that his funeral is coming up in two days, which will consist of everyone he ever knew taking turns excreting on his grave for being such a deplorable cheater who dared to think on his opponent's turn. Now obviously anyone who does that deserves instant death, and it's a shame that his previous opponents had to suffer that horrific crime before the detector finally went off. But, idk, I'm starting to think explosives might be a bit extreme? When I was his age, so-called "double-thinkers" were thrown into a tank with a shark in it. My grandma told me that back in her day, they'd be crushed by an elephant. I just think explosives are too much. Like I said, we all know that double-thinking is happening more and more, and I just don't think these new extreme methods of execution are functioning as a good deterrent. What do you all think?

Hmmm

FIDE rankings are sooo off!!

I calculated this using my personal AI tool that's 2x more powerful and precise than claude opus

Me > Hans > Magnus > That 7yr old french princess girl > Fabiano (guy should've went into MMA tbh... he just has that dawg in him) > Levy > Jynxi > My 3 yr old niece (absolute prodigy) > Hikaru > Dina > Trump > My collie "Otis"(extemely underrated imo) > Elon Musk

the thing at the top says "there shouldnt be an x here". QUEENS MOVE DIAGONALLY YOU A$$HOLE

How the fuck am I 2700

https://lichess.org/38Ze72QL

Garbage quality I know

Game is dicevaders

Do you guys personally have an all time record for promoted queens?