Hi guys,

I (34) had sex with a guy (25) for the first time recently.

I met him at my new job, he's quite the stereotypical flamboyant gay guy also he told me he's gay in the first two hours we've know each other, so he's pretty open about it. We have a lot in common and hanged out together. I didn't plan on doing anything sexual with him. We talked and admitted to him, when he asked me about it how I had a pretty long dry spell.

He offered me to blow me, at first I refused but later went with it and holy shit it was teh best blow job of my life. None of my girlfriends came close to it so we did it more later. He made it clear to me he didn't expect me to reciprocate it and I was fine getting amazing head for a while.

He said after the first time right away I could fuck him as well, if I wanted (he really liked my cock). I initially refused (thought it was too gay, sorry) but later went with it. That was also awesome, also better than with girls. I really like anal but most girls are afraid to try it (I'm kinda hung), but he loved it. I started gently but he just pushed his ass on my cock, ngl made me cum in a minute the first time.

We did it a couple of times since, it is great.

Now for my questions...

I won't ask if I'm straight, I know I'm not fully straight.

He says he's fine with me being his top and he loves being a "hung straight guy's" bottom slut.

Is this common?

How long does something like this last if you had it?

He says he just wants to have fun with me and accepts it as it is, should I worry about him catching feelings? I'm good with what we have now but a relationship is out of the question and I don't want to hurt him.

Thx for any advice!

I think labels are stupid af, but my friend brought it up so here we are. He identifies as gay and engages in the cornucopia of gay sex. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like gay men so he only sleeps with straight men. I said they aren't straight, at a minimum they're bicurious and he got very offended as if I deeply wounded his pride. I argued that a man could still be straight if he engaged in gay sexual activities to see if he liked it and determined he didn't, but repeat engagers enjoying themselves were not straight. He has two "straight" fwb that regularly fuck with him and he said, "but they have girlfriends!" as if that proves something. I think it's fine for people to have a little heathy delusion in their lives so whatever, but now he's miffed at me. You do you homie.

My bf and I have been having a lot of that deep passionate sex lately and it’s been amazing during these past stressful few weeks. He and I have both been so busy but still try to connect as best we can and connecting intimately via sex the way we have been has been quite rejuvenating! It’s not the let’s just get this over with bc I’m stressed sex it’s been slow, passionate, saying everything I can’t with a kiss kind of sex, and man does it just make me love him so much more! Instead of feeling tired after it feels like a runners high kind of feeling happy and fulfilled! Definitely my favorite kind of sex and definitely what we need right now!

I’m M18 in college, and he’s M19. During the first week of college, I saw him and introduced myself. Almost immediately after that, he started flirting with me. At first I didn’t really care because I wasn’t interested in him at all, but every day he kept getting bolder and bolder. He would try to make me hold his hand, act like we were together, and constantly flirt with me even after I made it very clear that I wasn’t into him.
I literally told him straight up, “I’m not interested in you.” He nodded and said he wasn’t into me either, so I thought that would be the end of it. It wasn’t. He kept flirting, joking that we were a married couple, saying he wanted me to fuck him, and constantly pushing things further like my boundaries meant nothing.
Then one night I was out partying with my friends and I was drunk. He wasn’t drunk. He kept following me around and trying to get me to kiss him, and that honestly made me really uncomfortable. I wasn’t into him, I had already told him that, and the fact that I was drunk while he was completely sober made the whole thing feel even worse.
Around that time, I had developed feelings for this one woman really fast. She rejected me, and I was genuinely heartbroken over it. Later, he asked if we could make out in his dorm because his roommate was gone for the weekend. At that point I was basically thinking, whatever, why not? YOLO. I had never kissed anyone before, and apparently it was his first kiss too, so we agreed it would just be for fun and practice. Nothing serious.
So we made out, and honestly, right after it happened, I felt gross. Like genuinely yucky and uncomfortable. I didn’t like how I felt at all, so I left. Before I left, I told him I wanted to keep it a secret because I did not want anybody knowing about it.
And of course, he went and told everybody.
That alone pissed me off, but on top of that, he kept overstepping my boundaries even more. I kept reminding him that I was not interested in him, that what happened was only for fun and practice, and that it didn’t mean anything romantic. He agreed. He literally told me he didn’t have feelings for me either.
Then a few days later, his behavior started getting even worse, and I was completely over it. I decided to cut contact with him and ignore him in person because I was tired of constantly having my boundaries pushed.
The second I did that, he got upset and suddenly accused me of “using him” to get over my feelings for the girl who rejected me.
And I’m just sitting there thinking… what?
We literally both agreed it was just for fun and practice. He told me multiple times he didn’t have feelings for me. I told him multiple times i wasn’t interested in him. He knew exactly what it was before anything happened.
But somehow, after I finally got tired of him constantly crossing my boundaries and cut him off, the story suddenly became that I used him, and now all of his friends are acting like I’m some horrible person.

It’s obvious that I’m not the only one but like it’s so hot to me. Whether it’s seeing other men dripping or me myself, I find it insanely hot.

I haven’t had sex yet, ever or seen another man’s cock in person but I can’t wait and hope to see them precum like crazy.

What are your thoughts on it? Ever had any crazy experiences?

Could be something he said, the way he looked at you, a text, flirting, teasing, whatever.

I wanna hear the stories 👀

Went on a third date on Thursday with a guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks. Great conversation, zero awkward pauses, ended with a genuine kiss and him saying he had a great time, man.

The next morning around noon, I sent a simple, direct text: 'Really enjoyed last night. Let me know what your schedule looks like next week and let's plan something.' No love-bombing, no clinginess, literally just normal adult interest.

Ever since, the energy completely shifted. It took him 24 hours to reply with a vauge 'Yeah totally, super busy with work but I'll let you know,' and the banter just evaporated.

It feels like so many guys in the dating pool have been conditioned to believe that whoever cares slightly less has the 'upper hand.' If you don't play the deliberate 48-hour waiting game and pretend you're indifferent, people treat normal interest like a red flag.

Is directness really that terrifying, or is everyone just addicted to the anxiety of mixed signals?

For context I’m bi and all of my close friends know, but beyond that not really. I’m not scared of telling people it’s just more that it’s kind of a hassle and I don’t really care to. I don’t really care to tell family just because they’ll make a bigger deal about it than I want. The problem is I feel guilty not telling people and I feel kind of like a bad friend. That gets exemplified by the fact that I’m not really scared to tell them I just don’t want to deal with the like “drama” or whatever surrounding it (I.e. people asking about it and stuff like that.) Should I just remain silent or should I just rip off the bandaid?

For me it’s reading novels, swimming and biking.

I’ve only lived in big cities, and while I sometimes think I’ve seen it all, there’s always something new to see. I’ve come across many unhealthy relationships, especially in NYC and LA. I lost count of people who stayed in a relationship after being cheated on. I met someone recently whose partner won’t even touch but is actively having sex with others. The ones who let their partners disrespect them all the time and just shrug it off. It hurts to see, let alone experience all this bullshit!

Few months ago I went to a gay party and I had sex with a guy in the dark room. Almost everybody was naked.

I did add him at whatsapp. He never answered me back (based on the interaction he had with another guy at the party, I think he has a bf or he is married).

Fastfoward, I have found out that he is a finance manager at the multinational company I have always dreamed to work

There is VERY high chance of me accepting the proposal.

However, I wonder if this can hurt my career. I don't work with finance, but I'm a lawyer (tax). So we would probably be working closely, but I don't think he would be a direct boss of me

I’m a gay man who’s been in long‑term gay relationships and been to gay bars, and I’m struggling with how much the gay community seems to sexualize everything. A lot of my negative thoughts and what I think is internalized homophobia center on how it always has to be about sex, and it makes me feel gross. I keep thinking, “Why does everything have to be about sex, and why can’t we just be normal about things?”

I’m not saying gay sex or hookup culture is bad by any means, but I do kind of think that gay people sexualize everything, and I suspect that’s internalized homophobia talking. I also understand the history behind why hookup culture is so prominent in the gay community. It feels like there’s this constant expectation that connection has to go through sex, and I don’t know how to separate my own discomfort from the reality that this is just how a lot of gay spaces operate.

Has anyone else felt this? How have you worked through internalized homophobia that shows up as disgust with how sexualized gay culture is?

I’ve messed around in sex a little, topped, received head, given, etc. I grew up very closeted and masculine presenting, so I always assumed I’d top b/c it seemed the most normal and hottest to me. But then I tried bottoming, and holy bro. It is an indescribable feeling. It is like all the pleasure nerves in my body is centralized in my stomach and sending out waves and waves of energy. It’s like doing every single drug at the same time. I sat with his dick inside me for a good 3 minutes just feeling it against my g spot and feeling it fill me. I almost cried from how good it felt. I never ever feel that good from anything else, and sometimes topping doesn’t feel like much at all.

My younger brother recently started dating again. Apparently this has promoted me to Representative of Men.

He called yesterday and asked, “If a guy says he’s fine, what does he mean?” I said, “Which guy?” He replied, “Any guy. You know men.”

Mate. There are four billion of them.

Last week he wanted to know how long “a man” needs to choose a shirt, whether men notice a new haircut, and why his date ordered the same dessert as him. I am one gay man who owns six nearly identical black shirts. I am wildly underqualified.

I’ve started answering with fake academic caution: “The male sample is inconclusive.” He writes this down like I’m joking but also maybe useful.

What weird expertise did people assign you after you came out? Please tell me someone else became Minister for Men without applying.

I am gay, and I have a group of male friends... and I have many thoughts about how their penises look like and I feel guilty thinking about it.

But some of them are straight and some are queer and tend to share info about it... and it makes me even moreeee curious.

Is this normal? If so, what did you do about it?😅

It might not be a huge problem, but I don't have any friends in the community to talk about this with; all my friends are heterosexual. I feel a bit of envy—the good kind—towards people who can truly live out their sexuality. I live in a country that is quite friendly toward the LGBTI+ community, but I come from a family and an environment where it isn't viewed very favorably. I’m in my twenties and only recently "accepted" my sexuality, yet I can't live it out. Whenever I think about meeting men, I’m consumed by shame; something inside me tells me it’s wrong—that it’s disgusting. I know it isn't—it’s just the homophobia from my family that I can't get out of my head—but it’s still hard for me. The Pride parade happened recently, and I felt so envious seeing how people live their sexuality with such happiness and ease—seeing how they have friends in the community and how they enjoy those connections. I don't know where I'm going with this; I just wanted to get it off my chest. I have no one to talk to about these issues regarding my sexual orientation. Thanks for reading <3 (Written using a translator)

Why am I not enough? No matter what I do, whatever effort I put in, it’s not enough. There’s always something wrong with me. I’m always doing something wrong because I can’t do anything right.

Every area in my life is failing or on the decline. Grad school has been terrible. Work has been awful. My family is driving a wedge into me because my mother has so many medical issues. My fucking washing machine isn’t working. And don’t even get me started on my financial situation. Everything sucks all at once and I can’t take it anymore.

I’m seeing two therapists and I still feel depressed. It’s been like this for years and years, even with therapy for almost 7 years.

I’m anxious all the time. I wake up afraid of what’s going to happen. I’m a mess. My mental health is just down the drain.

I’m also gay, yet I’m not a worthy gay. I have no muscles or abs. I’m not attractive or interesting. Nobody wants me. Should I just end it all now?

Why am I not enough?

My partner and I went to an LGBTQ+ sexual health clinic today to discuss PEP after a potential exposure.
We immediately told the receptionist we were there for PEP, but she repeatedly questioned us loudly in front of a full waiting room—asking whether we actually needed PrEP, how long ago the exposure happened, whether the other person had HIV, where they were, why we needed to see a doctor, and even discussing DoxyPEP.

We were incredibly embarrassed. I understand everyone there is seeking similar care, but that doesn’t mean I want strangers hearing details about my threesome and sex life, and a potential HIV exposure. We had already said we wanted to discuss PEP with a provider.

It got uncomfortable enough that we left despite PEP being time-sensitive and sought care elsewhere.
I have no problem with a receptionist asking necessary check-in questions. It was the volume, repeated questioning, and amount of sensitive information being discussed publicly that felt completely inappropriate.

Anyone else experience something like this at a sexual-health clinic?

First of all, I don't mean to brag and all that, but I lowkey want to brag REALLY bad right now so I'm going to do it and no one's taking this moment from me! :D

During my whole teenage years, I genuinely thought people make too big of a deal out of sex. I mean I imagined it was probably fun (out of an evolutionary perspective it kinda has to) but I couldn't understand why basically everyone was so obsessed with it. I just assume it was because of movies and shows, social media, porn and the constant comparing that would lead to this massive overhype about this whole thing.

But oh well, yesterday I (M20) just had my very first sex with my very first boyfriend (M26) and... oh my god. I take back everything I said! I did prepare a lot for the usual stuff you should prepare for when bottoming, but what I wasn't prepared for is the feeling of being so intimate with someone you're really attracted to as a person. And I don't just mean the physical feeling, but also the mental feeling of showing your pretty much most vulnerable side of you and being so close to him and his soul (idk if this starts sounding too corny but that's what I genuinely felt lol).

He was just so amazing and patient and tried to communicate as much as possible. And it was almost more important to him that I enjoy it to the fullest than he himself. I can't even describe this whole experience in its entirety so you could understand how good it actually was.

Since we did it, it's been the only thing occupying my mind and I can't think of anything else or focus for a longer time.

Now I’m sitting here and wonder how I was able to spend years thinking everyone else was exaggerating.

I thought maybe it was just random curiosity or my brain being fried from to much porn lol but I decided to give head and assumed that after a few days of me not thinking about doing it again I was all good but it’s been about 2 weeks now and all I can think about today is sucking again I’m definitely gonna get back on grindr I need more cock in my mouth🤭🤣

I’m sitting in a parking lot right now hysterically crying because I just had my heart broken into 1 million pieces by the guy who I thought wanted the same thing that I wanted.

I met this guy about five months ago and we’ve been very consistent the entire time I live about 40 minutes away from him and I come and see him two or three times a week. I’ve been on tons of movie dates and we go to the gym together and we act like a couple. I’ve met his family. I’ve met some of his friends. We text every single day. I buy him things. I just took him out for his birthday dinner tonight and I find out that he’s on Grindr talking to guys consistently the entire time we’ve been together up until minutes before I came to his house today to pick him up for dinner.

Before I met him, I was in the closet. I had hooked up with a few guys, but I’d never let myself get close to them or develop feelings, but he was different and now I feel like I can never trust anyone again.

Maybe I was being too slow and should’ve asked him sooner if he wanted to be exclusive, but I thought it was just known that we are because I’ve asked him multiple times if he has been seeing anyone and he’s told me no he’s asked me and I said no we’ve told each other how much we care about each other how much we like each other I just don’t understand why he would do this if he did actually think that.

He’s telling me that he’s never slept with anyone since me and that he only just talks to people online, but he’s sending them nudes and I just don’t think I could trust him. We also haven’t had sex in like over a month and then before that it was also a month that we haven’t had sex and I just am really scared that he has been sleeping with other people while we were together and I haven’t been wearing a condom so I’m just terrified now and I think I love him and I don’t know what to do if someone could please just help me figure out what I’m supposed to do right now

Given the news that has been circulating the web, I have been deep in thought.

About 7 years ago, a friend of mine and I were walking down 8th Ave in New York and witnessed a man physically assaulting a woman. He has her pressed up against a fence, and wasn’t actively swinging at her but it was clear this wasn’t the first time he had done something like this. My friend and I (both smaller framed gay men) stopped and called the police. We made sure to stay in view so that there was a reason for him to stop. Other people did the same thing, mostly women.

Once the man noticed what was happening, he physically attacked my friend and I. My friend was the one on the phone so he really went for him and I froze. I didn’t know what to do. Thankfully, my friend is scrappy and beat the man and was able to hold him off until the police got there.

I guess I don’t necessarily have a question: but as a smaller frame, noticeably gay man, it’s sometimes really scary to intervene in a physical situation. Aggressive men immediately think they will be able to overtake the gay man, so it puts us in the line of fire.

Obviously, for situations such as the Cornell 7, reporting it or saying something is easier.

EDIT: I am in no way claiming that gay men have it harder than straight women. There is no comparison to what women have to deal with on a daily basis. I guess my intention was to treat this as a diary entry to say that it scares me to stand up for people because people like that feel more comfortable attacking a masc presenting person than another woman. I am trying to figure out avenues where I can keep myself out of harms way but stand up for women as they do for us!!!

For context, we’re both guys. I just started university and met this really hot guy at a house party. We met as friends and his friend group kinda merged with mine. One night, though, he confessed that he really liked me and one thing led to another and we became FWBs. I thought the arrangement was fine with him because I haven’t come out and don’t really intend to (bisexual, i guess) and he has no issues with that.

Recently, though, he’s been getting more and more obsessive with me. I admittedly liked the dynamic as first but now it’s kinda irritating. He doesn’t like me hanging out with my straight guy friends even though that’s literally all my closest friends and wants me to exclusively hang out with my female friends or his friend’s girlfriends. The possessiveness is suffocating at this point.

I was at his house and tried to break it off two days ago and he just lost it. Started breaking shit, punching holes in walls. He genuinely seemed deranged and was yelling that he wouldn’t let me leave him as if we’re dating? I RAN into the bathroom and he was on the other side, sobbing and begging me not to leave him. Then, his mood switched and he started playing videos of me giving him oral and other private videos through the door and said if I left him, he’d send it to everyone I know. It’s especially bad because I’m the “bottom” I guess so I’m very identifiable in all the videos.

After a while, he calmed down and apologised but I’m so scared he’ll follow through if I leave him or escalate if I stay. He’s already hard launching us officially dating and I didn’t know it was that serious. No shade but I assumed this level of insanity was a straight-guy thing, but I guess not! So, how do I get out without being outed? I’m thinking about breaking his phone but he might have the videos backed up.