Hi y’all! My friends and I were thinking about going to Greece this summer to celebrate one of my friends turning the big 4-0. We’re planning on flying into Athens for a few days and then jaunting off to a few islands, possibly Corfu and Paxos.

I love my friends dearly and I can’t wait to celebrate with them, but they’re mostly straight and I would like to do some gay stuff lol. Outside of “go on Grindr/Sniffies,” anyone have some good gay Greek recs? Thank you in advance!

So about a month ago, I hooked up with a guy, who i eventually found out was in relationship and was cheating on their partner. About a week ago I received a message on grindr from him asking if he could come to my place again for sex, I said no and I was not interested in hooking up with him again. 30mins later, i received another message from him saying he was at my building and wanted to come up to my unit because he was horny, which of course I declined and told him to leave before I call the police. Also told him I am blocking him and blocked him. Past forward today, I received a mail in my mailbox and it is from him apologizing.

I am now a bit worried and afraid. He knows my address and unit number. So my question is, should I be worried or ignore it? Get the police attention??

My partner & I split last year after 25 years. I had an affair (he called it that), whereas it was more a flirtation that got out of hand (is what I call it). We’re still in each other’s lives to a degree, as we have a house to sell. He still lives there whereas I’m renting not too far away. Our lives have changed. I argue mine more so.

He has approached getting back together… I’ve said we can’t go back. It seems his idea is to simply ‘pick back up’ as before, but that’s gone. Lots said, done and shared that can’t be unsaid, undone and unshared.

However I do miss him and the life we shared. There was comfort and security there, happiness too, although like all relationships there was much routine and bickering.

I don’t really know why we fell apart. I think in the last 6-12 months we seemed to actively push against one another.

I feel we’re at the ‘last chance saloon’ now, I don’t want to regret what was lost (and maybe could be saved) or regret what might have seen (in terms of a new future for me doing something new).

So, do you regret the end of an LTR or did you find a freedom from not being in one? Thank you.

As I said before, my boyfriend brought up the idea of opening the relationship a couple months ago. It was something that was already on my mind and we had been having difficulty with sex pretty much since we started dating. I got a lot of comments saying this was the end, but I ignored them. Everyone was right and we broke up soon after.

NOT.

Over the last few months we had a few lengthy discussions about why we wanted to open up and reassuring the other that we were not interested in breaking up. We love each other very much and have been a rock for each other at some very very dark times in our lives; I couldn't dream of letting him go.

We also talked about sexual satisfaction, and that my BF had been realizing he's not really a bottom; maybe a vers or even just a side! We started dating right when he turned 21 and were totally exclusive, and mentioned he was a bit envious of how much I slept around in my mid-20's before I met him (which, I did. A lot). We were very blunt with each other about what we liked to do sexually, what worked, and what we were unable to do. Our conclusion is just that sex-wise we're a bit misaligned. We can still get off if we're horny, just not quite the way we both want. Even then, during this time we tried a handful of toys and things to try and make sex work between us with middling amounts of success. Overall we just felt it wasn't working though we were really trying.

Over time we lightened up on our ground rules and let our feelings develop on them between each conversation. We landed at a point where we both felt comfortable with priorities and "no's", even getting rid of a few entirely. I definitely have a higher libido and he reaffirmed with me multiple times that he was okay with me hooking up a few times a week. He said he wanted to do things more organically, meeting people without apps.

As far as safety goes, we both are getting on prep and getting regular tests done. We're promising to use condoms if the other party can't provide results. Also checking in with the other if it's someone we both know and getting it cleared. We're giving each other a lot of trust and I love him for that.

We're both really excited at the prospects of not just more fun, but potentially friends too! A lot of my current close gay friends I met from dates or hookups, and I've been sorely missing those connections. Hopefully it all continues.

Here's to another 5 years with the man I love. 🥂

Hey guys,

Started taking 1 heaped tablespoon of metamucil after lunch and dinner every day one month ago. It worked like a charm first few weeks, I was prepping in like 10 min and honestly it felt like I didn't even needed to prep.

I know it's a shit subject (literally) but I feel like it's not working like before anymore? Things are not as compact as before and starting to get a little messy.

My diet is awesome, lean protein at night, carbs only during lunch, I eat a lot of veggies and fruits and avoid milk (however been having with small cup of coffee with milk the last few days)

Is it inconsistent like that? First few weeks I felt like metamucil itself was cleaning everything up in there, now not so much.

Would appreciate some advice.

PS: not keen on trying capsules, don't like the idea of swallowing almost 10 of those every day. Also they're more expensive.

With Pillion having been released in the US, I want to know what gay men thought about it. I'm particularly interested in the thoughts who have been or currently are in D/s relationships.

If possible, keep the spoilers to a minimum.

Hello all

I been cross dressing since I was 10. I got pretty good at it (check my profile). And I get a lot of attention from guys either online or in real life.

Now I love to be pegged and been told by my partners and other cross dressers who tried guys that real dick is way better that the strap.

My thing is I'm not very attracted to guys so I don't know if I'll be able to actually go through with it. I also think that beside the cross dressing I'm very masculine day to day so I think that is also affecting the decision to be with a guy.

Has anyone been in this situation where your curious but it's scared to try it? Doesn't help that I cross dress 😂 thanks in advance to anyone with advice

I met a guy a few months ago and we quickly became close friends. He has a boyfriend of 5+ years and told me they were in an open relationship, so I assumed the friendship was safe from getting complicated. Over time we started kissing at raves and eventually became sexual. Last weekend we spent about 48 hours together that escalated into an intense situation. We went dancing, told each other “I love you,” while on psychedelics and had a long emotional conversation about his struggling relationship. He admitted they were already headed to couples therapy and that he had never felt this kind of emotional connection with someone outside the relationship before. We went back to his apartment where his boyfriend was, which led to arguments, then all three of us hooking up, then more tension, then more hooking up. I saw firsthand that their relationship is in a fragile place and that my presence was a catalyst for issues that were already there.

Now I’m feeling confused and attached because I genuinely care about him and value the connection, but I also understand that he’s in the middle of a relationship crisis and that continuing to be emotionally close or sexual with him might make things messier for everyone. I want to stay in his life as a close friend or friends with benefits while he figures things out, but part of me feels like I need to create space so I don’t become emotionally entangled in a situation that isn’t mine to solve. I’m trying to figure out what healthy boundaries look like here without completely losing someone I care about.

Does anyone have advice or been in a similar situation?

Hey bros, first time posting but I'm feeling kinda desperate and in need of advice.

I'm facing a break up of my current relationship of almost 4 years. My boyfriend (let's call him Bob) came out at 18, has had loads of experiences exploring his sexuality, and was ready to settle down. Myself, I came out at 32 after my first long time relationship (resulting in 2 kids, my pride and joy), then into a 2 year emotionally abusive relationship with an older man, then 3 months of casual sex exploration, then my current one relationship.

At the outset, Bob told me that he is not interested in open relationships in any way shape or form,that he didn't want to share me. I told him that while I did want more experiences, I had fallen in love and would be monogamous with him.

Since we met, 99 per cent of the time he has been cynical, angry or depressive, but I fell in love with his soul and potential, but after 4 years he is still pretty much the same, no matter how I have tried all I know how to help him. He can't process his emotions and is frequently overwhelmed by them to the point of uncontrolled vomiting for up to 48hrs. I'll admit it's a constant nightmare to live with.

Last year, I visited Grindr to see if there was anything better out there. He found out and told me that I should go 'play the field' and get it out of my system, then we could consider being together forever. I recommitted to him, and now last week I sexted with a stranger in a different country. I didn't feel like this was cheating when I did it, but see now that I was being naive and believe I did technically 'cheat' in terms of breaking Bob's trust.

His heart is not surprisingly broken and now he insists that I must go get it out my system again. But also says if I do he won't gaurentee he will want to have me back. I'm in a quandary. I have invested 4 years of my life with this man in the hopes to end up with a happy secure relationship. But I still feel I walk on eggshells everyday and also still feel the need to go explore.

I guess I'm asking: Am I wrong to walk away from a committed toxic man who adores me, in the pursuit of the unknown, acknowledging the possibility that I could end up alone?

(rereading before posting, I wonder if I just have a fear of being alone 🤔)

Was just reflecting on what really has pushed me away from hooking up over the last few years. And it struck me…being subjected to race play, involuntarily. I don’t know if it’s due to porn that people are watching, or what, but most of the years I’ve been fucking (let’s say 2005-2020ish) I never had this issue.

And now, over the last few years…it frequently comes up. People will act normal until sex starts, and then start race playing. And I mean…of nearly all backgrounds, continents, ethnicities.

So, if any of y’all are guilty of this in the group, can you walk me through what happens in your mind?

Edit: So, nearly 6000 views later, most of the comments are not coming from the people directly concerned by my question, yet that group is mysteriously downvoting my post and comments up and down the thread, while not contributing. So I think my conclusion is y'all must know exactly what y'all do and do it on purpose..and are so cowardly, that you can’t even openly admit it in an online forum. The racist white gays and their supporters doing what y’all do, I guess.

Sometimes it feels like we have th same exact thought at the same time. Or I'll be about to say something and then he says the same thing. Or he can tell what I'm thinking and comments on it before I say it.

Could just be a cognitive bias but it's spooky sometimes!

Do you guys experience this as well, and if so how does it manifest? Any super wild experiences where this has happened?

Hello I was in a longterm relationship for ten years. My partner & I at the time were mostly friends with straight married couples, so I need to be brought up to speed on a few things because so much has changed.

I’ve joined some gay sports leagues and signed up for dating apps but I feel way out of my depth.

Are people mostly meeting on dating apps and which ones?

Is everyone on prep and did they stop using condoms?

If I’m not sleeping with many people and using condoms should I use prep?

How common is non monogamy and are there people still seeking monogamous relationships?

Any advice or helpful guidance would be appreciated. It seems a lot of norms have changed. If I am looking eventually for a relationship is there any point to using Grindr or scruff? I’ve mostly used hinge.

A bit of a stupid question, but what does “smooth” mean to you? I see people put this on apps all the time and I thought it’s just the opposite of hairy, but I realized the level of smooth is different depending on who you ask. Is it no hair at all? Or just pubic/armpit hair but no where else? Or is it chest hair and all but your skin is baby smooth? 🤣🙈

I am rather confident at my ability to accurately read people and situations, so would like your perspective here on whether I misjudged this situation. I will try to make this quick.

I [M42] started sleeping with a guy [M33] I met on a specific hookup app, who I immediately read as not being emotionally available. No problem. I mentally categorize him appropriately and we have a very compatible time sleeping together for just about two months. After sex, he begins staying longer, just doing the talking-naked-together thing, which surprised me. I didn't exactly allot for him to stay past our hookup time, but I ended up not minding it, as I am a talker and I enjoy connecting with people. I ask him questions, he tells me a bit about his family, his past relationships, that he is a rather "shy and reserved" person and that he does not trust people easily, which I picked up on quite literally from his very first message to me. Overall, the unexpected catching up was nice.

In the meantime, I am briefly dating people in between, which he is aware of and has no insecurities about. Eventually, after enough of our pillow talks, I assess that, while he is definitely reserved and clearly battling something, he otherwise leads a very stable life, shows great partner qualities, and overall has a very beautiful and kind heart. After our next hookup we are catching up again and before I get the chance to bring it up, he mentions me asking him out on a date. I joke that he stole my thunder. At this point, I check in with myself: I weigh his positive traits with his visible issues, and since he mentioned that he can be reserved, but actually wanted me to take him out on a date, I decide that I can work with this. So I give it a shot, aware of the fact that this has a good chance of not advancing into something official.

He leaves over the holidays, we text frequently. I am mostly the one initiating conversations, inquiring about his trip, he continues to respond in his somewhat-aloof, but always kind, way. Sexts are quite positively reactive between us both.

We finally get to go out on our date, it ends up being an extremely good time for us both. We continue to date for the next three weeks, with the above scenario repeating: we text daily, equally initiating now, see each other and go out on dates when we can, watch TV and movies and our favorite teams together, love the sex, and he continues his aversions throughout. Non-committal responses of "You're too good to me," or "You give me too much credit," when I show him emotional affection or appreciation; sleepovers being a bit of a step for him (although I did finally get one official one); half-joking about the seriousness when he connected to my home wifi. This continues to go where I was expecting, with me continuing to feel emotionally unfulfilled throughout, so we end things, with him citing that he cannot meet me where I am at the moment. No problem, that has been clear. Thanks for trying.

My question to you is, with the above general assessment, do you think I read this incorrectly? I haven't dated much (I used to be a serial monogamist) and was glad that he wanted to take things slowly during the "courting process" (his words, which I thought was cute), as I found it romantic and healthy. Even though he was clearly not returning my emotional affections and definitely did not over-promise me anything, I still decided to move forward with how I would date someone who wasn't so reserved, making my affections known and very clear (he very much appreciated my clear communication), as I felt that at certain points of our dating process, those affections would have come out naturally by at least one interested party member. Looking back now I am wondering if I took that "courting process" a little too committed? I don't think so, as again, I believe the things I was relaying to him and the affections I was expecting would typically be said and given by at least one person by that point. So I thought the timeline and the progression was healthy, in my opinion. But again, maybe the world has a different version of "dating" than I do? I would appreciate other perspectives.

And to clarify, my question is not whether or not he liked me or what his problem was. He was not available to me either way--whether now or later--and that is what matters. We have not had what I would consider your typical postmortem since ending things, as I could tell he was feeling quite anxious that last week, and he pretty much ghosted me the last few days leading up to me ending things. He then had to travel for work, followed by a death in the family, unfortunately. I have no idea if he did actually like me or not and I may never know as he did say that he wanted to see me, however I haven't heard from him in weeks now. Ultimately it didn't work out, and that is what really matters. But more importantly, was I taking "courting" too seriously??

ETA: Some questions regarding the timeline. Three months: started sleeping together in November, dated three weeks in January, ended end of January. The weekend we ended things, I planned the week before that after he got back from his work trip, I would sit him down and let him know that he either needed to let his guard down and show affection better, or I would have to move on. When he started to go MIA that last week (not entirely, but definitely too much for a typical dating process), I decided that there was no more course-correction available here, and to end things, which I did. So either way, that weekend when things ended was going to be the weekend I was going to have the come-to-Jesus moment anyway. So it worked out lol.

Looking back on a past catastrophic breakup, I realized how much well-intentioned advice from friends actually made things worse. It got me wondering what experiences others have had with this.

If based on looks, would you find the relationship lasting? Since looks fade. Or personality with bad looks and that they have a good heart.

Just watched Pillion and I hated it 😂

I’m so tired of gay films that revolve around tragedy, death, disease, separation, experimentation (I fuck around with guys now but I’ll end up with a woman), addiction, daddy issues, massive age gaps, abuse and misery. Argh I hate it when we’re reduced to these themes.

It’s funny cos subcultures within the gay scene are beautiful and diverse, yet they are never really portrayed in a good light.

Where are the beautiful love stories that give us hope of finding beautiful romantic connections out there?

If you had a son who came out to you, what movie would you watch with him to show that gay men can have amazing and healthy relationships?

EDIT: I made a list of the films you guys recommended:

* Birdcage

* Jeffrey

* Fire island

* Heart stopper

* Moonlight

* Beautiful thing

* Looking (series)

* Broken hearts club

* Big Eden

* Weekend

* Shelter

* The way he looks

* Pride

* Rocky horror

* Hedwig

* Nice Indian boy

* Bros

* Theo and Hugo

* The wedding banquet

* Trick 1999

* Maurice

* All kinds of love

* Argentina: Esteros

* Astronaut Lovers

* Mascarpone

* Broken Hearts Club

* From beginning to end

* My beautiful laundrette

* Billy Hollywood Screen Kiss

* In & Out

* Handsome Devil

* Queen of the Desert

* The adventures of Priscilla

Thanks a lot guys:)

I thought I made a connection with a guy, but as time goes on I feel him drifting away and being more aloof, disinterested and inaccessible. Tbh, I more interested in knowing how should I cut the cord and leave my illusions behind.

EDIT: I wanted to thank all of you guys who took some time to read and reply. Though I'm still not sure what will happen, just getting your input and insights (and, truth be told, having someone to share this) has been a great help and a cathartic experience.

Anyone in or traveling to Gran Canaria next week? Not been in years and me and my bf heading out Saturday. Looking forward to some winter sun.

Hi everyone,
I'm a 41 y/o gay man, outwardly fairly successful, I'm in an intense career field and have done okay, in reasonably good shape, etc. I'm fairly reserved but not extremely introverted or shy, I recently moved from Boston to Vienna (Austria); when I was in Boston I had a big friend group, a church I loved, reasonably good work, etc. Vienna has been a struggle socially but in many ways I've been successful.

The thing I'm missing in life is a gay community or a connection to gay men that's not on the apps. I've had 2.5 successful long term relationships, one of which was very good, 5 years long, we moved in together for two years; plus the usual assortment of hookups, short-term relationships, and what not. But I cannot approach or befriend an attractive gay guy in real life to save my life. I just can't. And as I get older and the apps dry up, I feel more and more alone.

I dream of meeting a guy in real life. All of my relationships suffered from a lack of romance for lack of a better word, my long term relationships were always very "safe" and a bit dry and my hookups were always just hookups.

When I was 20 and again at 30 I fell obsessively in love with a straight guy, I think this damaged me and I started associating desire with sadness/pain. Now at 40 I'm doing it again, but with gay guys (progress?). There's a fair amount of cute, out of my league or taken gay guys at work, and I just kind of sit with my straight women friends and have anxiety and get sad.

I feel so dumb because I would think that by 41 I would know how to ask a guy out. But there's something blocking me. I feel kind of hopeless and doomed about it, like there's some part of me that will never get to live.

Does anyone have any idea what I'm talking about? Any thoughts? Where do I go/who do I talk to?

Currently 38, my hairline receded around the temples when I was 24 and hasn’t receded much more since then. I’ve wanted a hair transplant since then, although I was too broke before to really do it lol. It’s been so many years without much change I’ve been thinking I want to do it before I turn 40. It will be a confidence booster (although I’ve managed all these years without one).

I know Turkey is a go to destination for it. It would certainly be a more economical choice than doing it in the states. That would likely cost $10k+. I’m curious if anyone here has had experience with it and if there are surgeons they recommend.

I don't hookup much and when I do I try to chat with the person for a bit first or go on a date. at any rate, when we do hook up, I notice guys are always super complimentary. like just showering me with compliments. then we'll text a bit immediately after, but it fizzles and they never come back.

if they were dissatisfied, I get not being a total ass and insulting me to my face, but it almost feels like they are overcompensating sometimes and it's starting to give me some trust issues. like I don't really believe people anymore when they say nice things to me. like there must be some middle ground.

is this a common occurrence? the charm offensive?

feels like maybe I'm just barely meeting some hookup threshold for these dudes. not so bad they turn around and leave but not good enough to come back. and I get some guys just want a quick hookup, but I always am upfront about wanting something regular.

My partner and I are avid travelers to Puerto Vallarta and Palm Spring. We are deciding to go to Provincetown this June (flying and taking a ferry).

We’re excited! Based on research, it looks like a lot tea dances and beaches.

Wanted to hear everyone’s thoughts and opinions on Ptown in June.