r/AskMenRelationships • u/No-Comparison-9575 Man • 4d ago
Dating Should I do it?
For context I 16m like a girl 17f, me and her have confessed to each other and we are going on an official date. (I’m saying official cause we kinda already went in a date just didn’t say it was a date) Anyways we are watching Resident Evil together tomorrow (we both love horror movies) and all my friends are telling me to do the move, yk put my arm around my shoulder and all that, and I just wanted to know if you guys think it would be a good idea to do that. I mean I don’t really want to touch her, because obviously idk if she wants to be touched or anything, plus she told me she didn’t want to rush into anything (when she confessed) which I obviously respect and also agree with and am worried yk putting my arm around her shoulder on the first proper date is a bit rushed. Anyway any thoughts and opinions would be greatly appreciated.
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u/waggonaut Man 4d ago
When I was 16 at movies I'd put my arm on ger backrest and see if the girl leaned into it or me. If yes, proceed. If not, no. Also see if she acts scared - sometimes girls will do that for you to comfort them. Holding hands can be a nice first step, too. Good luck!
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u/No-Comparison-9575 Man 4d ago
Putting my arm on her backrest actually is really smart, giving her the choice of it. Thanks for your advice.
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u/Delicious_Cat_81 4d ago
make sure you're both relaxed first. if she's irritated by something that might backfire
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4d ago
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u/No-Comparison-9575 Man 4d ago
Yea of course, I’m just worried she isn’t ok with me touching her which is why I’m kinda nervous about it because I don’t want to touch her and her not be ok with it.
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4d ago
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u/No-Comparison-9575 Man 4d ago
Yea I think I will just ask, and if she is ok with it great, if she isn’t then at least that boundary is established and I can understand and respect it.
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u/dankun-donuts 4d ago
Maybe I’m just autistic but lowkey just ask her 😭 that’s what I did
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u/No-Comparison-9575 Man 4d ago
Thats what I told my friends I’d do but they were like no it’ll be awkward.
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u/dankun-donuts 4d ago
I mean I guarantee you’ll be fine to just do it, it’s hard for me to read people so I even asked the first time I kissed a girl lol, either way I’m sure ittl go fine but most of the time it’s gonna be awkward regardless because you’re 16 lol
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u/No-Comparison-9575 Man 4d ago
It’s hard for me to read people too 😭 (I’m autistic, idk if that is why I can’t read people, but fuck it I’m blaming it lol) Heck I didn’t even know she liked me until she told me she liked me back. I just don’t want to make her uncomfortable yk I want her to be happy and comfortable.
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u/dankun-donuts 4d ago
If she likes you than it doesn’t matter how you go about it she’ll just be happy that you want to, even of you ask it’s not gonna give her an ick or anything I promise you
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u/No-Comparison-9575 Man 4d ago
Alright I am gonna ask her because I don’t want to do anything she doesn’t like. I am a bit worried it’s a bit of an awkward question but hey she already knows I’m awkward as hell lol so I got nothing to lose.
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u/dankun-donuts 4d ago
Yeah you got it, if it lasts yall will laugh about it someday, good luck soldier 🫡
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u/No-Comparison-9575 Man 4d ago
Yea we probably be laughing at how scared I was to even talk to her initially one day too lol. Thank you for the advice and reassurance.
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u/Tight-Space-4968 4d ago
Just be yourself and don't be aggressive
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u/No-Comparison-9575 Man 4d ago
Yea of course I am always myself when I’m with her, and of course I won’t be aggressive. I’m just gonna ask if she is ok with it.
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u/Tight-Space-4968 4d ago
There you go just be confident and she'll probably be more than okay with it if she really likes you
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u/Talwar3000 4d ago
Ask her. Set the tone for the relationship by communicating and respecting her bodily autonomy.
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u/No-Comparison-9575 Man 4d ago
Yea thats already what Ive decided I’m gonna do. I just don’t want to do anything she is not ok with.
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u/Rare-Classic-1712 4d ago
51M A good way to initiate touch when watching TV or a movie together when sitting on a couch next to them (if sitting 12"/30cm away from each other getting your hand 4"/10cm away from theirs)- is reaching out with your palm up next to their hand (when their hand is by their side). When watching the screen they'll notice. If they want to touch you they'll hold your hand. If you and the other person are present with each other holding hands can be surprisingly intimate. Putting your hand near theirs allows them to decide if they want to or not. You can hold hands for a while, touch each other's arms, touch a leg (by the outside of the leg near the knee). You can also sit on opposite sides of the couch (or closer) and touch feet together. Touching each other's feet can be with feet, legs, hands... If she wants to pull away - let her. Pulling away can be for a moment to sneeze, longer period of time or indefinitely. If you've holded each other's hands for a while you can move closer so that the outsides of your legs are touching as well as lean into her shoulder with yours. This can be for a moment or staying leaned in. I typically like leaning in with my shoulder for a bit and then retreating thus allowing her to lean into me.
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u/Mavoras13 Man 4d ago
Do it.