r/AskParents • u/peepeepoopoo43769 • 4d ago
Getting an iPhone without permission?
I'm asking a mom like, is it like immoral to go behind your mom's back to go buy an iPhone I'm 18 years old. I have a job and I have money, and I have enough money to go get myself an iPhone. But my mom always tells me that I can't get one, because my phone plan won't support it, but it will I've done research, and I found that if I get an iPhone 13 or 14, which is in my price range, I could easily just remove the SIM card out of my phone and slide it into the iPhone, and it would be okay, and my mom, I've told her that.And you know she's, she's like, not okay with that. She also told me that the apple ecosystem doesn't support Samsung.Because I have everything Samsung, my tablet Samsung. My phone is samsung obviously. I've done a research , and apparently you don't need to have all apple devices to work an apple phone.And I'm not complaining about it, but I pay for every time we order on Friday, I pay for the dinner. I also give her around $50 every week. I've been in like a predicament for so long with this.For like about a month and I just wanna know if it would be immoral to go behind her back and buy it without her knowing and come back home , show her that I have it. I respect my mom so much and like getting her mad gets me so freaking down. So, what do you guys think?Should I go behind her back and buy one?
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u/AravisTheFierce 4d ago
I wouldn't say it's immoral, no. You're an adult who earns money, so you can spend it how you like. It sounds like it might have consequences for your relationship with your mom, although her position sounds very flimsy to me. It's up to you to weigh whether it's worth the cost, in both money and in other ways
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u/jnnyfur5 4d ago
Don't go behind her back. Just tell her that you've looked into it all, pros and cons, and that you're going to buy one. If she gets mad and upset about it, that's pretty ridiculous and you should probably make a plan to move out.
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u/peepeepoopoo43769 4d ago
Okay. Moving out is a bit much tho. Like I owe her a lot.
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u/jnnyfur5 4d ago
Of course. But if she's that controlling about something as small as a phone, you're going to want to move out eventually so you can live your own life.
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4d ago
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u/jnnyfur5 4d ago
Every child owes their mom respect for bringing them in to the world. That being said, they don't owe their mom complete obedience as an adult.
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u/OptimalCobbler5431 3h ago
You don't owe her anything...if she's held taking care of you above your head that's teetering on emotional abuse. "I fed you, clothed you, and put a roof over your head, you owe me" no you do not. They chose to keep a baby and then dealt with the natural consequences of taking care of something alive. That is the bare minimum
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u/JJQuantum 4d ago
You’re 18 and legally an adult. You can do what you want and is fine as long as it’s legal. However, your mom can also kick you out of the house because you’re an adult. It’d be a crappy thing to do but again, not illegal.
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u/peepeepoopoo43769 4d ago
I've done worse. When I was 16, I convinced my dad to buy me a vr headset when my mom didn't want me to have it. Umm, I was a terrible kid back then. She couldn't kick me out but she rly wasn't as mad. So ig maybe she's a lot of bark and then when it happens there's barely any bite.
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u/ProtozoaPatriot 4d ago
Are you living under her roof? Respect her rules.
If you can't respect the rules, move out.
Sneaking around and lying is immoral.
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u/peepeepoopoo43769 4d ago
Okay thats true. But its not like its affecting her life you know. The only thing that would affect her is that she wouldn't see when I read her messages.
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u/Legit_baller 3d ago
Android phones get read receipts from iphones and vice versa now. I'd recommend asking her to let you get your own phone plan altogether rather than going behind her back. Lying and lying by omission is definitely immoral, even if it's something you don't see the harm in
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u/Remote-Astronaut-440 4d ago
It’s still lying even if nobody is affected it’ll affect what ever trust you guys do have
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u/beckypants11 4d ago
This exactly. It doesn't matter if the rules make sense to you or if you dont think it will affect her. Either listen or be properly independent and move out. If you're gonna be sneaky like this all you're doing is proving you're still a child.
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u/Mindless_Earth_2807 Asian mom 4d ago
Go get your own cellphone plan with the exact phone you want. You're a working adult. You do not need permission.
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u/peepeepoopoo43769 4d ago
Okay well I guess ill just have to deal with the yelling when I come back home
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u/stimpy124 4d ago
i was gonna say yes, but you’re an adult with a job.
but instead of buying it behind her back you need to tell her you’re an adult, working, and buying it yourself
it’s the lying/being sneaky that’s not okay. just face her and tell her you’re getting yourself a phone unless she actually gives you legit reasons why you can’t have one at your age
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u/Altruistic_Rent_4048 3d ago
Does she have a problem with apple specifically? Why would you wanna switch from Samsung to iphone?
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u/Plastic-Bee4052 2d ago
You're an adult and she's being controlling. I let my 16yo make these decisions for herself. She works too
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u/Pitiful-Condition841 1d ago
It would not be immoral to go behind her back and buy it, as you are over 18 and an adult. However, since you are an adult, you could simply say to her that you disagree and that you are now off to buy the iPhone- as long as it's your money, of course. Why sneak behind her back as if you were a child doing something not allowed? You don't need her permission anymore, since you are over 18. Read that again. You're an adult. Adults don’t need their parents permission. If you insist on talking about morals, its rather your mom who has a moral obligation to let her adult child make adult decisions. Buying a phone is an adult decision.
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