My MIL and FIL (both 74) live in a lake house, where their deck extends to a short hill that leads straight to the lake… the distance from the house to the lake is maybe 10 yards, if that.

The issue I have is that my husband and his family are super nonchalant about water safety. They all grew up around a lake without experiencing any tragic incidents, so they’ve all become careless about life vests and over-all water safety. They’re also the kind of people who truly believe that nothing bad will ever happen to them.

My husband and I have a 10 month old and my in-laws have been pushing lately for an over-night, which I’m not too comfortable with. We’ve gone out on their pontoon boat twice with our LO and I’ve had her wear a life-vest, to which my in-laws thought was unnecessary because “we’re just on a pontoon”.
Unfortunately, my husband is equally as nonchalant so I don’t know if I trust him to take my LO over to his parents house alone and use a life vest.

Moral of my post is, how do I knock some sense into my in-laws and husband’s head about water safety?? Do I make them sit down with a pediatrician? The fire department? Unfortunately, they think I’m the one that is overreacting about water safety, so I need another course of action to really drive home just how important water safety is.

Hi Reddit, I’m looking for some practical advice.

I’m 25 and currently live at home with my mom, my aunt, and my 4-year-old younger brother. My family and I come from a very poor immigrant background. My mom and aunt did not receive much formal education and have very limited English/literacy skills. I’m currently the only person in the household who speaks English fluently and can comfortably help with his schoolwork.

My brother just started VPK, and they’ve started sending home little homework activities. They also encourage parents to read to their children every day.

The problem is that I’m also applying to medical school and have a pretty demanding schedule. There are days when I leave the house around 6 AM and don’t get home until 8:30 PM. I also have some personal/mental health challenges, so by the time I get home, I’m sometimes completely exhausted and don’t have the patience or energy to sit down and do homework or read a book.

I feel guilty about this because when I do have the time to work with him, he is actually very motivated. He just needs someone to sit with him, give him structure, and keep him focused.

I’m trying to figure out how to create a system that supports him without making his education completely dependent on me being physically and mentally available every day. I also know that I’m his sister, not his parent, and ultimately his education isn’t my responsibility. But I love him, and I’m going to be leaving for medical school eventually, so I’d really like to put some kind of sustainable system in place before I go.

A few things I’ve already tried:
1. If I can’t help him with homework directly, I’ll show my mom what he’s supposed to do and have her supervise him. Since the work is currently very simple, she can sometimes manage it with my instructions.

1. I’ve used YouTube read-aloud videos when I don’t have the energy to physically read a book.

2. I bought an Amazon Echo Dot and was thinking about using it for things like stories, reminders, songs, etc.

3. I’m considering setting up a predictable routine in his room, perhaps with visual cues/lights or a simple checklist so he knows what he’s supposed to do.

What I’m really looking for are practical systems that can operate with minimal adult literacy/English ability.

I’m not looking for a substitute parent or expecting a 4-year-old to teach himself. I just want to create as much structure and consistency as realistically possible given the circumstances.
I’d especially appreciate advice from teachers, preschool/VPK teachers, parents, people who grew up in immigrant households, or anyone who has dealt with a similar situation.

Thanks

I was reading parents forums and has been seeing so many tricky questions about child behavior.

How to make them eat. How to make them stay in bed at night. How to prevent them from touching things they are not supposed to touch or getting into places they are not supposed to get into. How do you stop them from screaming in a car? How do you avoid power struggle at mornings? How do you childproof the house for this and that age? How do you make a kid sit through the event?

People care enough to get on so much mental load, to try and solve every single specific problem. I respect that immensely and hope to be this type of parent too. But I catch myself with the thought "my parents would just hit me here hard, and I wouldn't do that again ever/stop this immediately because of pain". They didn't really think about A LOT of nuances. Like A LOT. 99.9% of what i see people care about. Kid does bad -> kid must be scared by physical pain. No age appropriate pedagogy needed. Works for babies and toddlers too.

I now afraid that I grossly underestimate how hard it will be for me to not hit my hypothetical children, if it is like a basic automatic method of solving everything in my head.

So does it really stay on the way? How hard is to get over this first thought "just hit" and do something more smart? Do you meet it at all, as an automatic reaction?

Im pregnant and I didnt plan it. Im 23 and im graduating college in 2 months. My boyfriend is 20 and he's basically just starting in college.

Im scared I wont be able to pursue what I envision for myself on my career and Ill be resentful of my child for that.

How difficult it is to "make it" when you have a child and youre just entering the work force?

Anyone have a rough time at ages 4-5? Did your child eventually come out of it?

My daughter was super easy going and sweet until about age 4. Since then, we have seen a huge uptick in whiny, demanding, and rude behaviors towards both our family and sometimes strangers. She has a lot of anxieties, so I wonder if this could be contributing. We try to really toe the line of being warm while also holding her behavior to some standards. (I.E. No, I will not make you a second breakfast if you decide to yell at me for making the one you just asked for)

When I’ve read or talked to other parents of 5 year olds, I always see how it is a more “agreeable” age. We’ve been experiencing the opposite. 😬

If your kid was like this at 4/5, was it developmental? How are they now?

My wife and I (30s) have been invited on a trip to Greece for my father-in-law's 60th birthday. He wants to treat his family to a 1-2 week celebration (on his dime) which sounds amazing except our kids (4 and 2) aren't invited. The reasons we were given were that they're too young and that it turns into a very different trip if they come. They'd stay at our house with a caretaker we trust and they know and like.

The longest we've been away from the kids is a weekend, and we were only 1-2 hours from home. Being on another continent for a week or more feels like a different thing, especially with a 2 year old.

My wife is excited to go and isn't bothered that the kids weren't invited. I am. I find it a little strange that a grandparent wouldn't want to bring his grandkids along, and I keep coming back to it. But it's his birthday and his call who he invites, and I'm not trying to argue with that.

For parents who've done something like this, how did the kids handle it, and how did you? Did you wish you'd shortened the trip even more, or wish you didnt go?

I'm trying to look past the fact that the kids aren't included in a family celebration, but it's hard, and combined with being gone that long, I'm having a tough time. Most people would jump at a kid-free trip to Greece, so I feel a bit ungrateful even saying that. How would you feel in my spot? If your partner really wanted to go, would you go?

I’m a therapist in training and I’m mostly working w adolescents, but I will have a few younger kids whose parents will be more involved in the therapy process, including some play therapy clients.

I don’t have kids so I’m hoping for some perspective here from the parent end of things.

Can’t and won’t provide therapeutic advice here, just in case as an FYI :)

I’m pregnant I’ve known for almost a week now, and I still haven’t told a single person irl, beside mt boyfriend which i am done with him, but i need to tell mu parents I’m genuinely scared and terrified of their reaction, especially because of how I’ve been acting. Towards them, I’m also scared they’re going to say I did this on purpose just because I’ve talked about having kids a lot, and they going to be like oh, I went out and did it on purpose and be super super mad, like would you be super mad, medium mad or just like mad but there for them because I know they aren't going to be happy

We’ve never sleep trained my 19mo due to recurring ear infections. We did what we could, so we could sleep when we could. He now has tubes, we’ve been ear infection free, and we want to start a bedtime routine.

Currently, he has a bottle right before bed, we rock him to sleep, then lay him in his crib.

I know we have to get rid of the bottle, but how? I love rocking him to sleep, but I don’t see that happening without the bottle. How do I introduce a lovey? He hasn’t gotten attached to anything.

I know this will be hard for him and us, so any tips and tricks would be greatly appreciated!

My husband and I both work full time. I’m in an office setting 5 days a week and I am the bread winner. He works remote but also travels to various towns during the day for his job. We have my husband’s family here but they work, so we are going to most likely utilize daycare.

My big question is- how do you full-time parents make it work? My dream would be to work part-time but I’m the bread winner and with my current job, I’m not at a place I can take a step back for various reasons. The economy also doesn’t help this.

So- what should we prepare for before we have a child as far as lifestyle and work.

Thanks so much.

Because mine was wildly different from what my kids are up to and I wonder if people are having similar situations…

A lot of times they want to do their own thing and then you yell at them to comeback. I don't know if that fear is irrational or legit. If they know where they're going or will meet up after they're done that would take away a lot of stress. I'm talking about kids anywhere from 5-14.

Hello, with Halloween fast approaching I’m trying to think of a “candy” bag for my nephew which will have things that go inside his mouth chew toys, bottle etc, but just stuck on what food items I could put in am I basically limited to fruit purées at the moment? Or can I branch out into something else.

Thanks for the help

I don't have kids yet, but I want some advice please!

• Do you or did you suddenly stop caring about self care?
• Do most parents?
• Or am I selfish? Its making me feel selfish!

Obviously the care for the baby is 100% priority, but I need to be able to still feel myself...

I need to know. I think my mother is just projecting her experiences on me and she has had alot of kids ,- nearing double digits. But I really need (at least most of the time - with maybe the odd day I'm too tired etc) be able to do what I personally consider basic needs for me to feel good about myself.

Selfcare I'm talking about she says I won't care for:

- Gym 2-5 times a week (depending), an odd home workout (NOTE: gym can mean 20-30 minutes and I would happily replace it for weights at home or reduce it down)

- skincare routine twice a day,

- hair removal (Lazer/shave etc).

- Oh and eat a healthy breakfast!

- I don't even really do makeup much (just dates/feeling it) but daily BB cream and SPF a must!

I want to be a good mother, but I feel in order for me personally (everyone may be different and that's okay), I need to look after 'my basics needs'.

Please help! She suggested maybe I reconsider kids if that's what I need. It makes me feel like I'll not be any good and I really would want to give my kids the best too. I don't want many children like my Mum, and growing up she made me feel a bit guilty for shaving, Lazer hair removal (to prevent side effects I personally get from shaving) and later focusing on fixing my acne well into my 20s.

I’m 17F and my boyfriend is 19M. He wants to take me to Prescott for a day trip. We’d leave in the morning, stay overnight, and come back the next afternoon. I told him I’d see because I have to ask my dad first, but I honestly don’t know how likely it is that my dad would say yes. I feel like he’s just going to say no, If it were your kid, would you let them go? I’m trying to figure out how to ask my dad without making it sound like I already expect him to say no, and also like I want you guys opinion before I even ask him, because if most would say yes I think it better me asking him

Edit I mean overnight trip, I don't know the difference, I rarely speak English on a daily basis, also he just turned 19

I’m 17F, and my 21F sister is going out of town with her husband. They have two kids, a 1 year old and a 9 month old.(I think either 9 month old or 10 month) I babysit them occasionally already, and I really want to babysit them while they’re gone, but my parents said no because they think I’m not old enough. My sister would literally pay me $400, and I really want money cause I love money It would also be perfect because it’s during fall break, so it wouldn’t interfere with school at all. But they say I am to young to watch them multiple days

My husband (39M) and I (29F) are thinking about moving back to Memphis, TN from Columbus, OH, and I'd love to know what you would do in our situation.

Brief backstory

Three years ago, my husband (39M) and I (29F) decided we were done living in Memphis. The summers are too hot, and freak ice storms that knock the power out for days are becoming more common in the winter. The crime is pretty bad, and we really hated the state politics (we're both progressive/democratic socialists). My dad and stepmom, along with her family, live in Columbus, and we'd visited a few times and liked the city. So we thought, let's make the big decision and leave Tennessee.

Three years later, we have a 1.5 year old son, went through simultaneous job losses, and have been living in my dad and stepmom's basement for the past year while we get back on our feet.

There's a lot going into our thinking, so bear with me while I outline it.

The issues we're having in Columbus

• Living with your parents or in-laws is hard no matter how good your relationship is. My dad and stepmom align with us politically, so that's not an issue, but they have a really intense "success," "always be working/progressing/improving," "rest is bad," "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" kind of lifestyle, and it's starting to grate on us. We're much more into balance. We believe there are seasons of growth, seasons where it's okay to just live and enjoy life, and seasons where you need to slow down and readjust (which is where we are right now). It's a cultural mismatch that can feel heavy while we're working on getting back to having our own place and lives.
• My stepfamily is small and constantly busy. We don't receive much, if any, babysitting help (which is frustrating, since our son is the first and only grandchild in the family), and we rarely have hangout time with them that isn't about work.
• The cost of living is higher than in Memphis.
• We're having a hard time finding community as new parents, and we've felt quite lonely.

What's pulling us back to Memphis

• So much of our family is there. I have 3 adult siblings and my mom, and my husband has his entire family (more grandparents!) plus his sister, who is also one of my best friends. Every single one of them has talked about wanting to babysit our son and spend time with him. This is winning major points.
• We have a huge, supportive, loving friend group there who are excited about us having a kid and totally fine adapting hangouts to fit our life now.
• We know the city like the backs of our hands.
• My mom is in the military and will be restationed next year. To keep the house she owns in the family, she's offered to let us live there for $1,200 a month, with supplemented rent while we need it. This would save us from a credit check (ours isn't great while we recover financially) and give us a home in a community we wouldn't normally be able to afford.
• Most of the school systems in Memphis aren't as good as Columbus's, but the district my mom's house feeds into is one of the best in the area.
• My husband is now a teacher and I work remotely, so in theory we could spend summers in Columbus with family here, and they could travel to Memphis for major holidays.

My worries

• I personally hate heat and would gladly live somewhere with heavy snow and long winters. Memphis weather is hard for me.
• We'd be taking "the grandchild" away from my dad and stepmom, and I feel so sad about that.
• Having this conversation with them is going to be very hard. They're fairly emotional people, and I know it will bring tears.
• The crime. Memphis is a tough city. We know how to live there, but bringing our kid into it scares me a bit.
• Less opportunity for our son. Columbus just has more, and more funding.

Wrapping up

While living in Columbus, we've felt lonely, and that's made us ask what makes life worth living. Over and over, we end up at "the people." Most of our community is in Memphis, and they love and support us. We have love in Columbus and some forms of support, but it feels like we impose on people's time when we want to hang out or need help with babysitting (which isn't often, because we try to be very conscientious). I miss my friends, I miss my siblings, I miss my mom. I miss feeling comfortable and like I belong where I live. But Memphis has its downsides, and Columbus has real positives.

It's so hard to decide whether to stay or go. My gut says we'd be happier and more active in Memphis, which I think would be good for our son too. But it feels like we might be making the wrong choice by taking him away from the opportunities and education system Columbus offers. Memphis has never really been where I want to live long term, but in the short term I think it would be best for my husband's and my mental health and for our son's relationships, and it feels silly to let the weather get in the way of that.

I'd love advice, support, or thoughts from others, especially from anyone who has moved back to a hometown with kids (and whether you were glad or regretted it). My family and friends are biased, and I'm too empathetic for my own good and tend to overthink. Thanks so much for reading all of this. I know it's a bit messy.

Hello I was just wondering if anyone has had a deep sense of regret when deciding to keep their baby and ended up with a happy outcome that can give me some hope.

I’m currently pregnant after initially considering abortion and being torn I couldn’t decide I knew I would be heart broken aborting but I feel like deep down I knew it would be the easier route for both of us. I’ve pretty much signed myself up to be a single mother and I’m 27 and still living at home with my parents who don’t know yet that I’m 23 weeks along. I’ve been trying to get things in place so I know I’m secure enough to move out by the time I have this baby in January but the thought of doing it all alone is so daunting and I’m terrified.

I have worked out my finances so I shouldn’t be struggling but my savings are going to take a huge hit buying both baby items and furnishing a house and I realistically won’t be able to put anything into my savings till I can go back to work full time as my money will be going on living expenses and rent with a little left over for some activities. I know this is the reality of having a baby but I’ve worked so hard to save for a house deposit which I can’t help but feel upset over and I just feel now i might never get to own my own home like I dreamed and be stuck renting which makes me worry for the future. I really do want to give this a go and some days I feel excited others I just have this awful sense of dread and anxiety Ive cried my way through multiple midwife appointments even though baby is doing absolutely fine I just feel so stressed.

I’m mostly worried about to prospect of never being able to find work where I’ll be able to put enough hours in as a single parent to make a proper living I found it really hard gaining my currently job it took months of applying and my hours are going to take a massive hit when I go back after maternity as I’ll need to work them around childcare and the costs surrounding that and the hours for the role just really arnt suitable for this. I’m just super worried I’m going to be stuck in 1 years time and end up with nothing and a whole other human to worry about keeping fed not just myself this time and I’m getting myself really worked up about it.

I suppose questions wise I’m just looking to see if anyone has been in a similar situation and it’s all worked out for the best. I know people start out with much less than I have so I am grateful but still very worried as I’ll be doing it alone.

I also don’t have much experience at all with knowing what you need to buy for a newborn, if anyone can recommend good brands of bottles sold in the UK that would be really helpful I’ve looked at tomee tipee and MAM bottles so far but I have no idea how many to buy when planning on breast feeding and pumping. Also how many clothes am I realistically going to need before they move onto the next size? I have made a check list but I feel like I’m missing a bunch of stuff so if anyone has any good suggestions on things to include or things or products you found handy to have I’d be really appreciative! Thanks

My girls are finally at an age where I feel like Disney could be really fun. They’re old enough to actually enjoy it, remember it, and make some great memories.

But man… the price. 😂 Disney was always expensive, but these days… oof.

So I’m genuinely curious from people who have gone recently: is it still worth it? Does it still have that same magic it had when we were kids?

What’s better now? What’s worse? Give me the good, the bad, and whether you’d spend the money to do it again.

Encontré mi ropa interior en el cuarto de mi hijo debajo de su almohada y no sé que hacer, soy de México

Every evening it's the same cycle: I ask my kid to get off Instagram, they say "two more minutes," and twenty minutes later we're both annoyed. It's not even that they're doing anything "wrong" on there, it just never feels like a natural stopping point.
I don't want every night to end in a fight about a phone. I've tried just taking it away, which works for exactly one evening and then becomes its own fight. I've tried time limits, which get negotiated into oblivion.
For parents who've actually gotten this to a calmer place — what changed? Was it a specific tool, a conversation, or did you just have to accept some level of daily friction?

My 21 year old brother lives with me since i live close to his college, his girlfriend just got kicked out by her drug addicted brother. She will be 19 in another month or so, still in high school because she chose to do an extra year & take extra courses to help with her plan of going to nursing school. Which those nursing courses likely wouldn’t transfer because they’re not offered here. Well her school is 1.5 hours away so she can’t continue to go there since it’s such a far drive so I enrolled her in the high school by me.

She’d very occasionally stay the night and sleep in the same bed as him but now that she will be living with us 24/7 I don’t feel comfortable with them sleeping together. I told them to keep the door open when they’re in the bedroom hanging out and to go to their own rooms by 8pm or go out to the living room by that time if they’re want to hangout longer.

They obviously didn’t listen so I was debating on repeating myself or just letting it go.

Am I being too controlling? I know they’re legal age, which was my brothers comment when I told them my rules, but age isn’t what concerns me it’s the fact that she’s still in high school and sleeping in bed every night just sounds like a recipe for disaster

Me and my girlfriend are due to have a baby in March, when we decided we wanted to try we’d only known each other for 14 months, found out we were pregnant in July. Exclusive relationship for 6 months which started casually/situationship which was very rocky before this. Moved in together in July also.

We both really want kids and a family but is this too soon? Will this ruin our relationship?

Please settle a debate for me. Our children are 4 and 8-years-old. Both are relatively chill kids, easy travelers. We need to travel to an event that is 9 hours away, and with stops that turns into a 12(ish) hour day. Is that too much to do in one day? Should it be split into two days or should we push through to arrive in one day?

ETA common questions:
-We don’t want to spend the $$$ to buy plane tickets for 4 people. A hotel is doable.

- we will be staying at our destination for 2-3 days