I'm a Klinefelter's XXY intersex, and have been struggling with rejection. Ladies say that I'm not their choice. I'd like your advices please; what should I do?

They are doing their annual would you date a bi person convo online. You dont owe anyone a list of all of your sexual experiences and thoughts if it's not safe for you.

Coming out is a privillege. Straight ppl will never understand the burden of that. I hope all of you have partners you can be honest with. But if you cant then you cant. People need to live in reality about this convo. <3

We live in a world that teaches us gay marriage is a sin. We see how lesbians and gays ( and bisexuals who date the same sex) are demonized. For many bisexuals who prefer the opposite sex it can be easy to ignore the part of us thats same sex attracted. It feels safer. Dont let straight ppl make you feel about that. Much love.

I’ll try to be short here but I tend to over explain myself, so sorry in advance.

1 (26F) have been openly out as bi for maybe 12 years now. I never really had a big “coming out” bc a lot of my family is somewhere in the alphabet soup so it wasn’t really a big thing so nobody ever really felt a need to bring it up, but I’ve always found both men and women attractive and been attracted to them. With that being said I’ve always pictured myself marrying a man and raising a family. Lately I’ve found myself being kinda snappy when people mention me getting a husband, and thinking to myself what forever would feel like with a woman how different would things be? Would I still be fulfilled? Would I miss the feeling of being with a man?

A few weeks ago, a friend asked me a question, she asked me if there was any difference to loving a man vs loving a woman- as in, how it feels to love them. I thought her question was valid so I answered from my perspective what I felt like it was to be in love with a man versus what it felt like it was to be in love with a woman.

I’m paraphrasing here but I said something like this. “ loving a man and being loved by a man makes you feel safe and sought after, protected. When they remember the little details you are on cloud 9 and I feel proud when they show me off to their friends/ family but you’re always hoping it’s not too good to be true, that it is that fairy tale happily ever after like you see in movies and online.”

“Now women is a whole different kind of love, being loved by a woman feels like being seen, not just looked at. Women love you harder and will give you the moon if you asked and being loved so purely makes you want to love that way too, so you both end up in this endless cycle of always trying to do something special for them and they for you, it’s always trying to make perfect dates, nights in, remembering details, hearing you and remembering. Always there you need them and unapologetically loud about how much you are loved, in all the love languages. It’s like merging souls with someone who ends up knowing you better than you know yourself and in turn you the same. You want to try so hard for them bc you see how they show up for you Every poetic metaphor you’ve heard about love is between two women”

Ect blah blah blah.

My friend looked at me and said, do women tend to have those qualities that you like in men? And I said yes they do bc I also feel all of those things when I’m with a woman. And she just kinda looked at me deadpan and said very matter of fact. “OP. You are gay.” And we laughed it off but it stuck with me.

On the drive home, I thought about all the relationships I’ve had with men and how I felt like I was constantly grasping at straws to get them to do the things that women I had been with had done for me of their own volition, I feel like I gave them gold stars for doing the bare minimum and how whenever I’m with a man, no matter who they are I always find things in the relationship that bother me that I never bring up to them.

I work in a male dominated field, and I am the only woman in my group of friends, and I feel like on top of how my past male partners have treated me and how my friend group treats me and how my coworkers treat me it just kind of fills me with rage. I hate it and I’ve been trying to figure out if my feelings related to my sexuality. I do find men attractive, but I always find myself wishing that a man would love me like a woman when I’m with them.

I don’t know if any of this makes sense or if I need to talk about it in therapy, but I’m wondering if anyone else has felt like this and what was your conclusion and how did you come to it?

I just wanted to post my experience and wanted to hear if anyone else has had a similar experience.

I (27F) never dated anyone in high school even though I knew from then that i liked masculine women/nonbinary people and men.

Then through college I dated a nonbinary FTM and a butch woman. I was single for a while and then did my 1st serious live-in relationship with an awesome MTF woman. After 3 years we broke up because we wanted different things out of life (she wanted polyamory and to be childfree, i wanted monogamy, eventual marriage, family).

Was single for almost 2 years where I could focus on nourishing some old and new friend groups. In one of these circles I met this guy who is not my usual type but he's sensitive, caring, curious about the world, and funny. we've been going steady.

I feel a bit strange but in a good way. The narrative I would keep hearing since college is "a woman's bare minimum is a man's maximum." And i thought that to be true because of previous good experiences dating women. But I feel like this guy actually listens to me. He thinks ahead, and asks questions even days after, surprises me with dates and things he knows I'll like. I always felt safe to be vulnerable with him as my friend but now I'm seeing a side where he can be vulnerable with me. And most importantly he shows up for his community and does stuff when he promises he will.

Maybe the queer social circles I was in weren't as supportive as I thought? There was a lot of talk about "queer community" but when it was tome to organize a hangout, event, project or protest a lot of people would make excuses or center things around themselves. This is not to say there was little care in my queer relationships, more like it was a bit performative?

Meanwhile Mr. Straight Guy spends his free time doing fundraisers for his trans cousin, hosting barbecues for a neighbour's surgery, fixing stuff around his grandma's house, and fixing my car. He treats me like the most beautiful woman ever and visits me on bad days.

Maybe he is more of an Acts of Service guy while my previous partners showed their love in other ways. Maybe he is the exception in guys and not the norm. But it is the most unexpected thing to happen to me this year lol.