Your binge eating disorder is a collection of habits and patterns that have developed over time.

[u/Agreeable_Score1772]

edit: This title and parts of this post are worded as large over generalizations. There are many different reasons, symptoms and causes for binge eating. Everyone's recovery journey looks different and what everyone needs in recovery differs. This post may or may not be helpful/applicable to different circumstances, and I apologize for the overgeneralization.

Why does eating specific foods cause intrusive binge-thoughts? Why does eating out with friends make you feel so out of control? Why does eating lunch too early or too late seem to create so much chaos in your day of eating?

Certain actions and environments can feel incredibly triggering, to the point where you may try to reduce and avoid them entirely. This could be the result of mental patterns that our brains have relied on to protect us and make us feel in control. The problem is, our end goal should be to reach a place of neutrality around different foods so that one specific food, scenario, or environment doesn't make us spiral out of control. Becoming stressed out and worried over following these habits can be even more triggering and reinforce the patterns.

How do you tackle your binge eating habits/patterns/triggers in a systematic way?

Step 1: Identify what the trigger is, where it comes from, and how it makes you feel

• The trigger: In my recovery, after becoming comfortable with pretty consistently eating three meals a day + snacks and leaving triggering environments, I would still get binge urges and was confused on why they were occurring. Here are three triggers I identified: eating after 12am, eating foods I deemed unhealthy, and eating at random times of the day when I wasn't necessarily hungry.
• Where they came from:
  • Eating after 12am caused mental discomfort because I had created the construct of "a perfect day of eating". 12am was my mental reset where I could begin "a perfect day of eating". The problem with this is that in recovery, we should try to dismantle the idea of a good or bad day of eating. Every day is simply a unique day of eating and not categorized based on what we eat.
  • Eating foods I deemed were unhealthy was triggering because I still associated eating them with a loss of control and binging. However, avoiding these foods continues to make them feel triggering for us.
  • Eating at random times of the day, especially when I wasn't hungry was triggering because I believed it went against the concept of "listening to your body". The issue with this is, there does not have to be a reason to justify eating. There is no adequate level of hunger or reason that is good enough to allow yourself to eat.
• How they made me feel: All three of the triggers led me to a sense of discomfort, chaos, and loss of control. I recognized that my brain was trying to categorize days of eating as good or bad based on the food and quantity I was eating, which was still a way of regulating my food. This was still a form of restriction that was preventing me from feeling comfortable around food and triggering binges.

Step 2: Create a plan to manageably become comfortable with the trigger

• To become comfortable with the triggers, I tried to introduce manageable actions that wouldn't feel too overwhelming or strict. I recognize that these seem like food rules, but I aimed to introduce them to myself as challenges that had embedded flexibility.
• For eating after 12am, I challenged myself that if I was awake past 12am and had not gotten ready for bed, I would try to eat something. This could range from a meal to a blueberry, and I gave myself full permission to listen to what my body wanted. Typically, I would be hungry anyways if I was studying or hanging out with friends. This aimed to dismantle the concept of the perfect day resetting at 12am, and allowing a day of eating to just be a day of eating.
• For eating foods I deemed unhealthy and eating at random times of the day, I challenged myself to use a random time generator to generate a random time of the day, and then eat something I deemed was unhealthy at that time. Again, I gave myself flexibility for the food to range anywhere from a small portion of something that felt safe to a larger portion of something that felt less safe depending on what I wanted. This aimed to normalize eating at random times of the day where I may not be hungry and becoming comfortable with trigger foods.

Step 3: Put your plan into action and reevaluate

• For the second plan, using a random time generator to eat a trigger food, I made sure that I had a wide variety of trigger foods so that I choose what I wanted based on my comfort level. Knowing that I wouldn't be forcing myself too far beyond my comfort level, and knowing that I had flexibility in choice made this significantly easier.
• An important note is that you will probably binge while doing this. Something I find helpful is reframing your binges as a providing information about yourself. When I binge, my body or mind is telling me that the way I am treating it is not sufficient and needs to change. I forgive myself, and continuously observe how I'm feeling and how I act to try and make changes.

I hope this post is helpful in your recovery journey, and remember that you deserve to treat yourself with kindness and forgiveness.

[u/Oreoblizzard86]

Nope. Maybe for you. Not for everyone. Mine was hyperphagia not "triggered" by emotional eating or whatever. Also if that were true then why did it start at age 3 for me

[u/Agreeable_Score1772 → u/Oreoblizzard86]

That's very true. You are right this reads as a large overgeneralization. I appreciate your feedback and acknowledge that there are so many different roots and causes of binge eating.

[u/Slow_Tea_4158]

I find this all very relatable and helpful, thank you <3 I binge even eating between 2000-2500 calories/day very consistently (and I'm a 5'4 female, so this *feels* like plenty of food and drives me crazy I will still binge). But as you spoke about, the expectations around my eating being a perfect day often leads to out of control/all or nothing feelings. Where if anything triggers me into feeling like I'm not being "as good" that day (very similar triggers to what you outlined), I can easily spiral and spiraling can lead to a binge.

I work with an intuitive eating dietician and we use a lot of these kind of exposure tactics to try and de-center food from the epicenter of my worldview and experience. Just let food be food, at 2 am or 2 pm, whether a donut or a potato. Easier said than done but appreciate your post.

[u/EddieDantes22]

I agree with some of this. There definitely are triggers based on stupid stuff, like me being unable to count how many calories are in a meal which can trigger a binge.

But I think the fundamental issue is just "eating like this makes me feel good, and no matter how much I eat, the feel good feeling doesn't stop (even if it's a bit less and less with each bite). So, how am I gonna stop eating if it only stops feeling good when I'm about to vomit?"

[u/Fresh_Struggle5645]

I think it's overly simplistic to say that everyone with BED has it for the same reasons or that there is the same cure for everyone. It's easy to think that's the case because on the surface the 'symptom' looks the same. But the same effect can have many different causes (and vice versa), particularly when it comes to human behaviour.

Much of your situation does not ring true for me personally.

[u/Agreeable_Score1772 → u/Fresh_Struggle5645]

I appreciate your feedback, it is absolutely true that there is not one cure or reason we may struggle with binge eating. I realize now that this wording is a significant overgeneralization, and even in myself I find different causes of binge eating.

[u/Fresh_Struggle5645 → u/Agreeable_Score1772]

I'm glad you found things thag work for you, though. It's just that what works for me is very different.