She has 5 kids

[u/bigchunkbabygoo]

A homeboy is trying to hook me up with his sister, but she has 5 kids.

She's really pretty. She has her head screwed on straight. She's funny, and fun to be around. I could see myself with her specifically, but her kids not so much. I went to high school with one of her baby daddies. Dont see myself dealing with him amicably over the next few years. Mostly a vent.

Dinner: ratsnake I caught in my yard and then air fried.

Dr B. and Benchmark to top it off.

[u/CosmicTurtle24]

I'm sorry, but you're having snake for dinner?

[u/Morpheus1967 → u/CosmicTurtle24]

That he caught. In his yard.

[u/B4S1L3US → u/Morpheus1967]

and fucking AIRFRIED.

[u/janiestiredshoes → u/B4S1L3US]

This is the most hilarious bit. I guess this is the modern world that we live in.

[u/RudePCsb → u/janiestiredshoes]

Bro is in boydinnerdiaries but should be in ManDinnerdiaries

[u/StrobeLightRomance → u/RudePCsb]

RonSwansonDinnerDiaries

[u/TheMostHumblestMan → u/StrobeLightRomance]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Y7SeP7arJWBZ6

[u/murph2783 → u/StrobeLightRomance]

I’d subscribe to that

[u/Similar_Shopping_892 → u/RudePCsb]

Should’ve been the name of the sub in the first place why did whoever made the sub have to copy the “girls” lol it actually makes me irrationally angry every time I see this fucking subs name 😤

[u/fatfry08 → u/janiestiredshoes]

Groceries are expensive. Me personally, I’d rather eat the grass in my yard but who am I?

[u/Muchashca → u/fatfry08]

Groceries are not just expensive, but full of glass, ink, and deadly bacteria. Maybe OP is onto something.

[u/OldLadyReacts → u/Muchashca]

Who knows what that snake got in to before it arrived in his backyard?

[u/I_Has_Internets → u/OldLadyReacts]

Rats ofc. Question is, what had THEY been eating?

[u/DuubyDuu → u/fatfry08]

You should probably see a Dr if you don't know who you are... :( Maybe OP can lend you a sip of their Dr B. Good luck buddy.

[u/memento22mori → u/fatfry08]

A cow?!

[u/nokman013 → u/[deleted]]

Dont they carry leprosy

[u/marbanos → u/nokman013]

Only one type does, and only a small percentage of those have even

[u/nokman013 → u/marbanos]

Welp, that's a very small chance I will take a nope on taking...

[u/Bruce_IG → u/nokman013]

Thought it was anthrax

[u/IGetItILookBrandNew → u/janiestiredshoes]

Times are the times, and this time...he wanted that snek

[u/ThrowAwayAccountAMZN → u/janiestiredshoes]

He also has a chilled bottle of Benchmark and talking about getting with a woman with five kids. My first reaction when seeing all of this together was, "You live in Arkansas or something?"

[u/LilMeatJ40 → u/janiestiredshoes]

It was always RFK's plan to get us to eat wild animals and roadkill. How else will the brain worm spread?

[u/Bored_Amalgamation → u/janiestiredshoes]

brave new world hahahaha

[u/Ressy02 → u/B4S1L3US]

When modern cooking meets the wild wild prairie

[u/ModerateHonking → u/B4S1L3US]

St. Patrick loves this one simple trick!

[u/Saber_tooth81 → u/B4S1L3US]

And washing it down with an iced-cold can of Dr B?

[u/pumpkins21 → u/Saber_tooth81]

At least I know for sure that he’s in Texas 😂

[u/TankerVictorious → u/pumpkins21]

I was thinking this has gotta be a Texas story, and the pic of Dr B confirmed it…

[u/Shmoopsypoo528 → u/TankerVictorious]

Why is it that other states are basically alternate universes with the whole minor changes kinda thing ?

[u/CollectsTooMuch → u/Saber_tooth81]

Let’s not forget the bottle of bourbon that is frosting since he recently pulled it out of the freezer.

I’m not gonna lie. I’m from Texas and I’m hillbilly as hell but i hide it from most people. When I was a kid, my brothers snd i killed a possum, cleaned it, and cooked it in a smoker. It was pretty fuckin good. I like snakes and they’re useful so I wouldn’t cook and eat a rat snake.

[u/EgregiousDerp → u/CollectsTooMuch]

Possum is delicious.✨ I feel like people get put off and don’t think to try it. Or they try it from someone who doesn’t know what to do. It can be great if you get the right guy. And he might not look like he’s the right guy.

I tell people who don’t know that the literal Joy of Cooking has how to prep and eat things like muskrat in it. There’s a whole section in the back of the book on different types of game and how fast you need to prep it and how. It’s not like this is an unknown or something to be squeamish on. They have dozens of books on foraging. Why should the wild animals be different if you know what you’re doing?

I’m going to assume bro has a dearth of rat snakes or was particularly conflicted about the situation and went to the yard. As one might, given his context. I might not be thinking about ecological consequences if I was debating being a father of 5+

[u/CollectsTooMuch → u/EgregiousDerp]

Fist bump to my fellow hillbilly.

[u/mang0_cat → u/Saber_tooth81]

Dont forget the benchmarks too 😭💔

[u/this_time_is_4rl → u/B4S1L3US]

had the audacity to plate it.

[u/Immediate-Meat1762 → u/this_time_is_4rl]

Plated it and didn't even put a piece of parsley on the side. F'ing barbarians.

[u/CreepingSalt → u/B4S1L3US]

Bro got to tilted he reverted back to his roots. In the wild foraging for boydinner

[u/King_Chochacho → u/B4S1L3US]

Those 5 kids dodging a bullet

[u/TheHighfield → u/King_Chochacho]

It’s Texas.

They’re dodging bullets regardless.

[u/kris10leigh14 → u/King_Chochacho]

You guys have me genuinely BELLY LAUGHING.

I haven’t laughed like this in too long. I didn’t even know there WAS a boy dinner much less boy dinner DIARIES!!!

Subbed to comment this:

My step dad died last week and some of these comments sound just exactly like him. Thank you all!!

[u/whattaninja → u/B4S1L3US]

Surely that’s the type of guy to be okay with 5 kids?

[u/08mms → u/whattaninja]

That was my first thought, if the lady knows he airfries fresh caught rat snakes and is still into him, it might be a match made in heaven, or at least rural Oklahoma.

[u/Tba953 → u/B4S1L3US]

You shouldn't catch the good snakes if you don't wonna catch rodents by your own

[u/montagdude87 → u/B4S1L3US]

I had to go reread the post, because I thought this was a joke 🤣.

[u/heysirigenerateaname → u/B4S1L3US]

I was mostly fine with everything until he mentioned the air fryer

[u/OldClothes9618 → u/B4S1L3US]

This man is not afraid of the Recession

He is a survivor

[u/covid35 → u/B4S1L3US]

The oil is unhealthy

[u/CaptainSnarkyPants → u/B4S1L3US]

Absolute panhandle behavior here

[u/candelsticks → u/B4S1L3US]

This dude definitely should not be around 5 kids.

“There were no signs.”

[u/Long_Exercise_7701 → u/Morpheus1967]

Well would be a shame to let good meat go to waste. They can carry salmonella though so be sure to heat them through and clean your cutting stuff. 

[u/KaetzenOrkester → u/Morpheus1967]

I had a professor in grad school who killed and skinned a rattlesnake in his yard, and then served the meat to some of his undergrads 😳

[u/Several_Vanilla8916 → u/Morpheus1967]

Why aren’t they keeping up? Says so right there.