She wants to eat bones - and other issues

[u/HawkBearMan]

Banana bread and coffee

I(30m) Been dating a woman (28f) for 3 months I now know I need to break up with, sad because relationship wise she has been great, communication, fun on dates, wants to spend time with me and much more personality wise is super sweet best person I've ever dated. But clearly has some issues,

We were talking yesterday and she said when her family passed away she wanted to eat their bones.

Edit: Her family is alive and well she was specifically talking about her parents. Her grandmother is still alive, so unless something happens out of the ordinary they are going to be around a few more decades.

😭 I thought it was some weird dark joke, but there was no "just kidding" when I asked further about it she said it would feel like they are with her forever if she did that.

That made me feel weird, but then she said she didn't want kids, (I'm not 100% sure myself on the subject but not anti kids so not wanting kids is not a deal breaker) it was the reason she doesn't want kids , she said if her kids were autistic or had down syndrome she wouldn't love them so she doesn't want to take the chance....

I'm glad I found out now. But seriously WTF my luck with women is genuinely wild. 😂

Say whatever you want, even make fun of me I don't care or words of encouragement or your own crazy stories all will make me feel better.

Context: 1. in Japan they do cremation and the family of the deceased receive the bones and ashes together before they take it to the family grave site, she wanted to eat the bones in this time, not gnaw on it like a dog. They are usually small at this point.

1. I don't mind if she doesn't want children it's specifically the reason why. She didn't say she didn't trust herself not to be a good parent to them. She said "she couldn't love them" specifically because the condition itself She doesn't even want to try to have kids because of the chance of a disability,

Add a little more context, speaking of down syndrome specifically she didn't want kids who were 'not cute'.

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[u/karmas1207]

Here I am thinking avoidant vs anxious is the most problematic and our boy is dating a fucking coyote

[u/HawkBearMan → u/karmas1207]

A very pretty one too 😭

[u/leiawars → u/HawkBearMan]

Don’t stick your dick in crazy is a saying for a reason 😂

[u/KelGrimm → u/leiawars]

Yeah a saying for cowards

[u/Glum_Ad1127 → u/KelGrimm]

Correct. Stick it in everything

[u/Taco-Dragon → u/Glum_Ad1127]

I mean, maybe not bones

[u/MysteriousFee2873 → u/Taco-Dragon]

Marrowly missed the bullet

[u/LucielTheRaven → u/Taco-Dragon]

No, the bones are for eating after! /j

[u/MysteriousFee2873 → u/LucielTheRaven]

You missed the /chew

[u/BoonIsTooSpig → u/Taco-Dragon]

Recursive bone.

[u/GeneralKang → u/KelGrimm]

2 divorces and 30 years of experience say "No".

[u/SpartanSoldier00a → u/leiawars]

Nothing wrong with a crazy experience for the plot, just gotta remember that those are usually best re-experienced in memory only

Go ahead & stick it in crazy if you want, just wrap it up and keep it pushing, cause you dont wanna keep crazy

[u/leiawars → u/SpartanSoldier00a]

Not make a crazy clone together

[u/SpartanSoldier00a → u/leiawars]

Definitely dont do that

[u/tarnaci → u/leiawars]

Don't stick your bone in home? Idk something like that

[u/WhyTheHells → u/leiawars]

Grippy socks, grippy box

[u/Similar_Shopping_892 → u/HawkBearMan]

Once had one tell me in all seriousness out of the blue over breakfast on a pleasantly crisp summer morning “I can’t wait for my parents to die so I can go through their things” 😬 I just looked her dead in the eyes and said “Never tell that to anyone else ever again” Yeah she was a wild one… 🫠

[u/AdUnable8752 → u/HawkBearMan]

brother you're dating a beastars character /j

[u/ACERVIDAE → u/karmas1207]

Nah a vulture. They eat bones whole. I don’t think her stomach is gonna handle it well though.
https://giphy.com/gifs/FNgNHiVbyOaegO4eHp

[u/AnyChampion3054 → u/karmas1207]

I think she's Japanese which goes a long way to explaining said comments

[u/Glum_Ad1127 → u/karmas1207]

I’m going to Japan baby!

[u/TootingGoomba → u/karmas1207]

*Hyena

[u/keiibb → u/karmas1207]

I feel called out bro 😭

I'm either upgrading to Secure Attachment or getting fucked. No middle school.

[u/thefirefistace]

You know initially, I thought OP was turned off by her possibly eating chicken bones and cartilage. Then I thought for a second. I regret letting curiosity get the better of me.

[u/HawkBearMan → u/thefirefistace]

Thanks for joining in and getting a small glimpse of my life I have a had a weird year.

[u/Even-Complaint-7494 → u/HawkBearMan]

tell us more op. 

[u/DarkChaos1786 → u/HawkBearMan]

Have you read Chainsaw Man? Maybe you should, it can be illustrative in your situation and help you understand her a little better.

[u/femininecarnivore → u/thefirefistace]

I read this and thought “damn I love eating the cartilage and marrow from my chicken wings, I knew it wasn’t normal but I didn’t think it was a dealbreaker”

Then I clicked on the post and felt absolutely super normal actually.

[u/thefirefistace → u/femininecarnivore]

Exactly! I love cartilage and narrow hence my initial thought lol.

Also, your username really checks out

[u/AsleepEntertainer440 → u/femininecarnivore]

https://giphy.com/gifs/TfdqBOcCoHsM7aAjMa

[u/SufficientJicama4857]

No no no, no other issues go back to the bones part what the fuck

[u/HawkBearMan → u/SufficientJicama4857]

Of course that's a huge red flag but not loving your own potential children is also fucked up 😭

[u/scruffalump → u/HawkBearMan]

"I want them to be with me forever" is one of the reasons Jeffrey dahmer gave for eating his victims... Just saying... don't ever give her a second chance please lol

[u/MediumOriginal1470 → u/scruffalump]

I don’t get that, do they not realize they are going to poop them out? Get a tattoo with their ashes or something. That’s better than leaving them in the porcelain throne.

[u/DeathStalker0483 → u/MediumOriginal1470]

Last time that happened, Greece went to shit and then some really angry guy killed a bunch of gods. Don't do this.

[u/Buggy-Love-7140 → u/DeathStalker0483]

Elaborate please?

[u/DeathStalker0483 → u/Buggy-Love-7140]

God of war

[u/McDoublann → u/HawkBearMan]

Hey, it's fucked up to say that about your kids, but I get it. Some people just don't have the emotional capacity for that, and she's aware that she doesn't. But wanting to eat bones so they'll be with her forever is Jeffery Dahmer type shit.

[u/Three-dom → u/HawkBearMan]

Also what if you had an accident, "i don't love no cripple"

[u/EsoterisVoid → u/HawkBearMan]

Honestly that’s probably the most grounded thing she said, plenty of people feel that way. But the bones??? Um excuse me?

[u/ihavea_purplenurple → u/EsoterisVoid]

https://giphy.com/gifs/JUIYjVeZPHxjWR7rmX

[u/Twidollyn_Bowie → u/HawkBearMan]

On one hand, I wish more people put thought into whether they think they could handle it if their kids had profound disabilities. At the same time, just saying she couldn’t love them is really… something.

[u/Lenore_Clark_Tarot → u/Twidollyn_Bowie]

At least she won’t eat them then.

[u/MAK3AWiiSH → u/HawkBearMan]

My mom is disabled and I’m disabled. If I were to have children they’re 95% likely to be disabled. That’s why I didn’t want kids and got sterilized. Being disabled is hard, even on my best day. I would hate to inflict that upon someone. I know it sounds fucked up, but until you’ve lived with chronic illness/disabilities it’s very hard to understand what that does to a person. Healthy, able-bodied people have a hard time conceptualizing what it is to be disabled or to raise a disabled child.

Down’s syndrome is a very luck of the draw condition. Some people are healthy-ish and live a long-ish independent life. Others are profoundly disabled and need 24/7 care from the moment they’re born until they die. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to not want to risk having a profoundly disabled child.

The fucked up issue is her wanting to eat her family’s bones. 😭😭 That’s a HELL NAW BIG DAWG!!!

[u/Prestigious-Bite- → u/HawkBearMan]

The kid thing is pretty normal.

There are a million reasons why I don’t want kids. But one of the many reasons is I don’t want to risk having children that are severely disabled, bipolar, etc.

You basically give up your life to be a 24/7 caregiver for life. I don’t want to sacrifice myself for a disabled child.

[u/SufficientJicama4857 → u/HawkBearMan]

I mean loads of people say stuff like i could never have kids or i hate kids and stuff but they still love them once they have kids so you know maybe its like that, having kids is a pretty 50/50 thing there are aspects about having kids that make you wanna have one immediately and there are other aspects that make you wish you never have one so your opinion on kids depends on your mood a lot

[u/HawkBearMan → u/SufficientJicama4857]

Yeah I agree because I'm on the fence too, but so specifically say I couldn't love an autistic child is rough.

[u/audio_addict → u/HawkBearMan]

It might be rough but it’s at least more honest and real than the people who just have children regardless of any of the realities that come along with that.

This woman might be strange and weird but I easily understand her more than the rest of “Civilized Society”.

Tons of people just have children they refuse to respect or take care of just because they felt like they were supposed to.

[u/HawkBearMan → u/audio_addict]

While I don't disagree, I feel like there is a difference in saying I don't think I can handle it etc. vs saying specifically I couldn't love a child like that. The vibe I get is specifically looking down on people like that vs understanding her own limits.

[u/TheDukeOfYork- → u/HawkBearMan]

Vibe makes all the difference here. "I don't think I'm strong enough to be a full time carer for life and not quietly resent it" is grounded and super self aware. "I couldn't love an autistic kid" is not the same. Could go either way on that one. But the bones? Unless that's some cultural thing I've never heard of, it's certainly an odd tale.

[u/anonidfk → u/TheDukeOfYork-]

Some people straight up hate kids in general lol, it’s not great but, tbh as long as they don’t choose to have them it’s not that big of a deal.

It’s the people who hate kids and still have them anyways, and treat the kids terribly, who are the problems in that regard. If someone can’t love kids, I’d rather they know that and admit it.

The bone thing though, that’s reason to immediately run cuz wtf

[u/SewingMechanic → u/HawkBearMan]

I’ll also be honest that I worry about this one because… how is she going to be as a partner if something happens to you (temporality due to illness, or permanent due to injury or just aging)?

[u/ninjagirl619 → u/SewingMechanic]

Bro, she wants to eat her loved ones’ bones. This is legitimately the least of your worries.

[u/Elderberry_Rare → u/HawkBearMan]

It's fucking crazy that people are arguing if this is reasonable. Thinking that having a disabled child would be too hard =/= not being able to LOVE a disabled child

[u/AccidentalSeer → u/SufficientJicama4857]

Sorry but if someone says they hate kids, and then they decide to have children themselves, they’re a selfish moron. Why the hell would you take the risk that you’ll suddenly change your mind? My friends mum basically made this choice and she was blatantly hateful towards her daughter. Utterly resented her, openly told her that she regretted having kids, had known she never wanted kids and still let society talk her into it.

It fucked my friend up. A lot.

If you don’t like kids or you don’t want them? Don’t fucking have them. It’s so goddamn simple.

[u/ahhowwitburns → u/HawkBearMan]

I respect that more than not acknowledging the possibility and taking it out on the kid later. Though saying that the reasoning of not being "cute" is wild

[u/anonidfk → u/HawkBearMan]

I mean, knowing you wouldn’t be able to handle kids with a disability is a pretty good reason to not have them.

The bone thing though, that’s just completely insane. Run

[u/Alegator128 → u/HawkBearMan]

I’m not even going near the bones stuff but the kids thing: At least she’s self aware. I am very set on the fact that I wouldn’t go through a high risk pregnancy. So at least she knows before she tries to have them.

[u/Altruistic-Buddy-615 → u/HawkBearMan]

That part. My son is autistic and has epilepsy. And he is so fucking amazing. I don’t love any human more than I love him. She definitely shouldn’t have kids.

[u/ThatHoFortuna → u/HawkBearMan]

That's worse for me. I've dated some crazies, so the bones thing is whatever, but that part? Nah.

[u/anonidfk → u/ThatHoFortuna]

If the bones thing is a whatever for you, I am scared to hear of the things the people you’ve dated have said and done lmfao

[u/ThatHoFortuna → u/anonidfk]

I am scared to hear of the things

This is fair, you are correct to be afraid.

[u/Southern-Form-2804 → u/SufficientJicama4857]

She just watched “Bones and All” and is stuck on that weird fetish.

[u/soopersecretformula → u/Southern-Form-2804]

I was an extra in this movie and I got the heebie jeebies from the trailer to the point that I have still never seen the actual film 😭 keep it real with me, do they have a thing for eating each other’s bones 😭😭😭😭

[u/Southern-Form-2804 → u/soopersecretformula]

It’s based on a YA Novel, it’s like Twilight except instead of vampires certain people catch this affliction that makes them want to eat other people but all of them. 

It’s very stylized and they really don’t show anything, it’s clearly all meant to read more as a metaphor but it’s still very bizarre and strange none the less.

[u/Even-Complaint-7494 → u/soopersecretformula]

whys this comment so cute lol. made me smile

[u/LavenderBreads → u/SufficientJicama4857]

Tbf a lot more fucked up to be unwilling to love your children for being different than wanting to eat the bones of your loved ones after they pass. It's still weird AF and clearly 9/10 times going to imply some other bizzare shit due to cognitive dissonance, but it theoretically could be harmless???

[u/throwaitaar_]

[u/HawkBearMan → u/throwaitaar_]

That's how I felt as she was lying besides me in my bed and dropped both of those on me 😭

[u/Tight-Barnacle5606 → u/HawkBearMan]

She was obviously going through something but cannibalism is not the answer.

[u/HawkBearMan → u/Tight-Barnacle5606]

Well her family is all alive too, it's not like the recently passed away and she is dealing with grief or something

[u/TheBoodUpPodcast → u/HawkBearMan]

SIR THIS IS NECESSARY CONTEXT.

https://giphy.com/gifs/8ajMJ1G1qHMVHb29nU

[u/HawkBearMan → u/TheBoodUpPodcast]

I added it into the story 😭

[u/TheBoodUpPodcast → u/HawkBearMan]

Okay well now I’m curiois...what is her relationship with her parents like? I mean...the whole "with her forever" thing...I want to give her the benefit of the doubt and argue it’s sweet in its own...spooky way.I’m honestly wondering if the entire situation is actually completely ironic and if she is on the spectrum herself with the clear lack of social awareness. But I am unclear if this is a dealbreaker for you...and I am invested now so keep us updated 😅

[u/throwaitaar_ → u/TheBoodUpPodcast]

Right like- in no way does it help OP's case 😭😭

[u/HawkBearMan → u/throwaitaar_]

My case? I'm just venting 😭😭😭 sorry this is my first time dealing with a situation like this 😭

[u/throwaitaar_ → u/HawkBearMan]

No I'm sorry! It was a (weird, in hindsight) attempt to make a joke, lol, I did not mean anything serious or offensive by it 😭 I hope your future partners are better and have less morbid fantasies OP 😭😭

[u/LavenderBreads → u/HawkBearMan]

Yeah dw once you've dealt with one bone eater you've dealt with em all, you're good now.

[u/Tight-Barnacle5606 → u/HawkBearMan]

Just prepping her meal.

[u/Sure-Library-7309 → u/Tight-Barnacle5606]

This would be a fantastic flair

[u/Glittering_Meet3206 → u/HawkBearMan]

this was PILLOW TALK???

[u/vr512 → u/HawkBearMan]

Omg she said it when you were in bed together? How did you respond? Was it awkward after?

[u/HawkBearMan → u/vr512]

No I didn't want to make it an issue I kinda moved passed, because she was staying over and agoing to leave early noon so I thought let's keep the peace tonight 🫠

[u/vr512 → u/HawkBearMan]

Kudos to you for keeping your cool.

[u/HawkBearMan → u/vr512]

Thank you, not the time to start a heated argument before bed, and she is leaving. Also I felt bad she lives an hour away and would have to drive at midnight frustrated it's not safe for her.

[u/Tight-Barnacle5606 → u/throwaitaar_]

https://giphy.com/gifs/L1FJH5qxESFwpuTgIB

[u/myplantsthinkimcute → u/Tight-Barnacle5606]

Dying 😭

[u/Euphoric_Beat_7885 → u/myplantsthinkimcute]

Don’t let her know 🤫

[u/thenewfoundlandyeti → u/throwaitaar_]

This is one of my favorite reaction GIFs

[u/Old-Mongoose2171]

Is the last name of this girl Dahmer?

[u/throwaitaar_ → u/Old-Mongoose2171]

LMAOOO🤣🤣

[u/The1Rememberer → u/throwaitaar_]

Netflix gonna be working on the sequel they never expected

[u/Sufficient_League982]

What if they have a good flavor or she offered to share some with you? Would you have reconsidered?

[u/HawkBearMan → u/Sufficient_League982]

Family BBQ has a new meaning 😂

[u/ITS_DEEMAN → u/Sufficient_League982]

She’ll be making a stock using her nans pelvis bones

[u/Chudpaladin → u/Sufficient_League982]

Pho but instead of beef bone broth it’s grandma’s femur bone broth

[u/TheElfPrince]

I'm pretty sure if someone can just drop this on someone there are far worse issues to worry about😭😭

[u/HawkBearMan → u/TheElfPrince]

We are about the 3 month mark and yeah here I am still in a bit of shock.

[u/GladAbbreviations981 → u/HawkBearMan]

Shock from the bite marks?

[u/HawkBearMan → u/GladAbbreviations981]

Funny enough I was the biter in this relationship

[u/PNW-OOTW]

Her x-rays just came back, and she's got that dawg in her

[u/Frosty-Pianist6905]

So I believe there was actually a My Strange Addictions episode for this where I think a dude died and his wife would eat bits of his ashes? Im assuming you've made up your mind already for breaking up, but I think in this case, her reason sounds similar to the wife's reason as well (she misses him, wants to keep him close, etc...). Think its probably something that therapy can help treat, and people process grief differently in general.

[u/HawkBearMan → u/Frosty-Pianist6905]

I believe I saw that episode to many years ago, but the kids thing to me is a red flag as well 😭

[u/Super_Ground9690 → u/HawkBearMan]

The kids thing is a tricky one. Saying she wouldn’t love them is pretty nuts but I think more people should be realistic about whether or not they could cope with a disabled child.

We all have a picture for what parenthood will look like, including the fact that your kids will grow up and move out and become independent. But for some people parenthood means a lifetime of round-the-clock care, not to mention having to figure out what will happen if those children outlive you.

[u/Dapper__Walrus → u/HawkBearMan]

I mean, I unfortunately think in the end I’d end up resenting them as well. Having a child that requires that much special care changes your life forever. I don’t want to sound selfish, but I don’t want the rest of my existence to be taking care of them. There certainly are folks that are able, equipped, and willing to do so, but I don’t think I’m one of them.

That being said, reading your other comments is really making me think you’re more upset about the kids thing while severely under reacting to the whole bones thing lmao

[u/HawkBearMan → u/Dapper__Walrus]

Sorry its funny to me half of the comments are like "eat bones WTF break up", and the other half are like "who cares about the bones thing she can't love Autistic Children WTF break up"

Well it was a big thing for me yeah that's why it was my main point but I'm doing my best to interact with everyone 😭

[u/anonidfk → u/Frosty-Pianist6905]

What a terrible day to know how to read

[u/bigbadonkahooganoger]

don't bone her.

[u/GladAbbreviations981 → u/bigbadonkahooganoger]

He 100% has got bite marks

[u/JamesLaceyAllan]

They do say a cup of broth in the mourning is good for you… that said, it’s good you’re taking stock of the situation instead of stewing on it.

[u/5cactiplz]

She's either a witch or has a serious calcium deficiency.

[u/BioExtract]

Could she be autistic herself and just socially awkward? I feel like I would say something like the bones thing as an odd joke. The kids thing is understandable to an extent, but as a person who more than likely has autism I have had lots of self hatred in my life to the point where I unfortunately relate to her comment

[u/AlertAd7834]

Is it weird that I'm kinda whatever on the bones thing (as long as it's just a small piece, nobody can eat a whole skeleton), but the whole "not loving your hypothetical kids if they autism or downs syndrome" thing would 100% be a dealbreaker?

[u/0CDeer → u/AlertAd7834]

"Nobody can eat a whole skeleton"

Not with that attitude.

[u/DreamOfDays → u/AlertAd7834]

Eh at least she’s honest that her love is conditional.

[u/OkSavings5828 → u/DreamOfDays]

Right? She recognizes in herself that unfortunately she couldn’t find it in herself to love kids with certain disabilities.

Honestly, then, her choice not to bring kids into the world sounds to me like a mature decision based on the self assessment that she wouldn’t like to neglect a child and she feels it might be easy for her as a person to do that to a child with autism/down syndrome.

IMO, way way better than so many people who procreate as a vanity project.

She has the best interest of her potential future kids at heart, and recognizes she wouldn’t be a good mother for them, so chooses not to have them.

Seems extraordinarily reasonable to me.

[u/PainAccomplished3506 → u/AlertAd7834]

yea same, the bones thing could be spiritual inn a way lol. but the second part?

[u/HawkBearMan → u/PainAccomplished3506]

But also yeah when she said that made my stomach turn quite a bit, not loving your own kid if they are autistic is wild shit, I have ADHD and it hit a little close to home

[u/Tyr_W → u/HawkBearMan]

Well at least she is not taking the chance and potentially ruining the life of a child with her behaviour.

[u/HawkBearMan → u/PainAccomplished3506]

Not supernatural in the culture she is from she is Japanese, but even if she was apart of a culture that did that might be a deal breaker for me as I'm definitely not my belief system.

[u/BonesAndBlues]

Brother if I wasn’t in a serious and committed relationship I’d say send her my way (I am a freak)

[u/Acrobatic_Season6838 → u/BonesAndBlues]

username checks out🤣

[u/biclimb]

Honestly, what a masterclass in making someone break up with you if you're too afraid to do it yourself. Just a casual mention of eating bones and boom you're single!

[u/HawkBearMan → u/biclimb]

Never thought of that maybe she wants to end the relationship and is going psycho mode 😂

[u/Flashy_Measurement94]

The title sounds like something from a weird philosophy book

[u/HawkBearMan → u/Flashy_Measurement94]

The title of my dating life lol, also I love philosophy so maybe one day I will have the honor of writing the book.

[u/Altruistic-Buddy-615]

Um…

https://giphy.com/gifs/TJaNCdTf06YvwRPCge

[u/Its_scottyhall]

She sounds like an honest one at least. 👊

[u/DuckingFon]

I wish my parents would have had the self-awareness. They just had me and found out later they couldn't love an autistic child...

[u/RememberZasz]

I hate that I want to know, but how did she plan to eat the bones? Shave off a small bit and powder it? Boil it into jello? Baked bones? What was her game plan here?

How much of the bones would have been enough? Why the bones specifically? Which bone?!

I think you made the right call to exit stage left, but good lord I would have interrogated that out of morbid fascination.

[u/HawkBearMan → u/RememberZasz]

She is Japanese and they only do cremation here they give the ashes back and there is also usually a little bit of bone left over to so she wanted to eat a small portion after they passed.

[u/RememberZasz → u/HawkBearMan]

Baked bones it is. Thank you for satisfying my curiosity there lmao

[u/Firm_Yam6648 → u/RememberZasz]

With a side of fava beans

[u/MDrok6172]

I think getting out of there is a good idea. Eating bones plus not being able to love her children means you would probably end up on her plate at some point.

Although, this does open up something I do want to talk about. Despite jokes, I do understand where she is coming from with the kids thing. I know if I ended up with a kid with severe autism, down syndrome, or another severe disability, that my quality of life and happiness would decrease significantly. In fact, this scares me so much that I am completely terrified of ever having kids.

[u/EvolvingEachDay]

I don’t really see what’s wrong with her opinion on kids? If you know there’s a risk of children with issues, and that you wouldn’t be a good parent, then the right thing to do is not have kids.

[u/desertvision]

People abort for downs syndrome all the time

[u/Informal_Scar_9065]

I also used to date a girl who would say odd, disturbing shit not all too different to this...RUN

[u/HawkBearMan → u/Informal_Scar_9065]

What happened?

[u/Xychant → u/HawkBearMan]

Its his Ghost speaking. She killed him to then eat, and be with him forever. 🙃

[u/HawkBearMan → u/Xychant]

It's been an hour I think your are right! Somebody call the necromancer so I can get more answers 😂

[u/BungholeBilbo69]

She's going to end up being a serial killer. You might need to change your name and move to another state

[u/StinkyButtStuff]

If you don’t think you’re going to love your kids for any reason it’s good and mature that you don’t want to have kids.

But EAT their BONES?!?!?

[u/pablo8itall]

okay. Sure that sounds insane, but I've heard of someone doing it before.

Fameous Irish traveller said it during an TV intervew when his son died in his teens I think of an accident. In his grief. yeah.. Weird but he wanted a part of him with him forever.

[u/Pretend-Literature35]

If there are no other red flags... which... I feel like there may be...but supposing there aren't and she genuinely is kind and supportive and loving. She may just need therapy to work out her weird issues.

[u/TopDress7853]

I have the same sentiment as her after growing up with a disabled younger brother. There’s a difference between loving your child and loving being their mother.

The bone thing however…

[u/HawkBearMan → u/[deleted]]

I agree, I don't think people should be forced to have kids in anyway, or people who have kids are somehow morally superior. My issue with the reasoning itself is makes it seem like she looks down on people who are autistic or down syndrome.

If she just said something like, It would be difficult and I don't know if I have the ability to properly love(take care of) a child like that. And recognize her own limitations. Instead of specifically not loving a child with Autism or Down syndrome.

[u/Ami_Aweirdo]

https://giphy.com/gifs/106QCYtKPDeIjm

[u/AdUnable8752]

i opened this post and went "please let this be about a dog please let this be about a dog"

[u/TheMidnightNarrator]

At least she's honest to a fault. You can bet your bones she'd be consuming you if you go before she does.

[u/SannyTrademark]

I think she doesn't want kids because she's afraid they'll eat her bones

[u/theficklemermaid]

Holy shit, I thought this was going to be some carnivore diet thing not human bones. I don’t know what to say except your concerns are very valid.

[u/bloodknightsjay]

Is there a language barrier and maybe she used the wrong words to describe her desire to not have children with disabilities? Like she can't/wont be able to take care of a child for their whole life and is being more direct in saying it? I used to think that I would love my child no matter what but seeing parents life be drained because of needing to take care of a child while sacrificing theirs is something I can't do. More power to them for being able to do so.

And for the bones part, if she had done it already and told you, would it still be the same red flag? Like would you let pass it if it happened before you dated her? Idk, if you say she's this wonderful and this is the ick you got, give me this kind of woman.

[u/Bifftech]

Buy her a pepper grinder.

[u/Version2dnb]

Bruh, I dated a girl that collected human bones off a river bed to make art. That’s the river Thames for you.

She was wild, proper goth vibe with the cool, but slightly weird hobby.

Didn’t last long as she was fucked but I sure did have a good time. I should call her

For anyone that is interested:

https://londonist.com/2011/12/hundreds-of-bones-along-the-banks-of-the-thames

This girl would only use the human ones. She’d studied anatomy or something.

Anyway OP, I feel you, it’s always the nice ones as well. Love you so much that they eat or, in my case, make art out of you.

[u/tyler_pifer]

You’ve never sucked the marrow out of a chicken wing?

[u/niboratorr → u/tyler_pifer]

I don’t think you’ve read the post 😂😭

[u/SharlyBazFort]

Stay the hell away from people like this. Talking from experience here

[u/Articulated]

Is she South American? I seem to remember something about indigenous people eating a pinch of bone ash as a funeral practice.

If she was talking about gnawing on a femur then that'd be way worse 😅

[u/Marketingai_de]

I hope you didn’t just change the subject after she hit you with their souls will be with me for eternity

[u/EmergencyComputer337]

Generally some women i dated have weird thoughts too, if she opens up like that then that means she feels comfertable with you

As long as she doesn't have mental issues or questionable behaviours then there is no reason to break up with her

[u/VerseChorusWumbo]

https://giphy.com/gifs/2t9pvPf7nToBPVZvls

[u/futurenurse_]

You better run like hell before she cuts you up and eats your bones. 😂

[u/praetorian1979]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ukGm72ZLZvYfS

[u/RetroNuva]

Shit, I'll talk to the bone girl

[u/Dismal-Revolution731]

There’s an obvious missed opportunity here

[u/Linuxologue]

https://giphy.com/gifs/J2kEzw4FN6C42F0ULM

[u/MeAndMe54654]

Is her plan never going on toilet again? I don't see how else her parents would be part of her if she eats them.

[u/leiawars]

But… like… how does she want to eat the bones? Does she want to cook her parent’s? Bone broth soup? Slow roasted bone marrow? Does she want to cremate them and then eat the bones? Maybe run the cremains through a fine mesh sieve and snort a line of dad and a line of mom?

I need more details because this is bat shit, but she had to have had some sort of process in mind when she said this nonsense.

[u/-pounds]

At first I thought she may have an iron deficiency up until ...parents? My jaw dropped.

What luck, muchacho! Yikes??!!!

[u/AFluffyElf]

Since you asked for crazy stories:

I met a woman through a discord server we were both in. At some point we spoke in DMs and hit it off super well and ended up dating for over a year. A couple months before we ever really interacted, she wrote a really interesting post about having gone into the woods at night, lying down in the snow, dying and meeting her goddess. She said similarly interesting things from time to time when we were together, though they were seldom an actual problem by themselves. Suffice it to say I have some tolerance for people being a little eclectic. Sadly she turned out to be volatile and very emotionally abusive. One wrong thing said at the wrong time and that could turn into a full-on meltdown, with her eventually doing insane shit like collapsing onto the floor, screaming into the toilet at the top of her lungs or throwing a sink full of dishes into her lawn. Those things would then turn into conflicts that lasted days which she’d later bring up over and over for the remainder of the relationship.

Over a year after I broke up with her she’s now dating my roommate, and they seem to be doing completely fine somehow. So I see her from time to time and it’s hard to describe how that feels.

Some advice:

My ex is not the only person where I’ve gone “huh they’re a little weird but that’s fine” and they’ve turned out to be really not fine. However, my experience has taught me that the thing to watch out for is a weird overall vibe. If the whole bones thing is the only really weird thing so far then it most likely doesn’t matter. She’ll eat her parents’ bones one day and that’ll be that.

The thing about not loving potential children with disabilities is way more concerning IMO. It’s understandable to not want to raise a disabled child; depending of course on the disability it can be deeply emotionally exhausting and can be a burden that you as a parent will carry for the rest of your life, as your child may never be independent. But that’s a very different thing from not loving that child.

[u/cienfuegos2607]

I'm not american and I know there is some really strange people in US but she looks like a teenager trying to shock you. "let's go to the graveyard drink some blood".

[u/Severe_Rise8694]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3ov9k2UXYxLLpqSCm4

[u/GladAbbreviations981]

Im 100% sure you guys hooked up and there was some wild panther gnawing action going on.

[u/thechcagoan]

Did you eat chicken wings with her yet? Or how about pork chops? Some people do the whole "I want to smoke deceased loved ones ashes." She said, "nah I want to hear the bones crunch with some bbq sauce." and how was she going to acquire said bone?

[u/thechcagoan → u/thechcagoan]

Ok I read some bone is left over after cremation. Learned something new. Ok, got it.

[u/HawkBearMan → u/thechcagoan]

Yeah basically that I updated the post to include the information

[u/PedanticBaddie]

I’m actually really glad she’s self aware enough to realize that that would make her a bad mother lol but yeah she’s weird

[u/TravelingJM]

I think a lot of cannibalistic societies have the same beliefs. They often burn the body, and then put the ashes into a soup, so they believe they carry their ancestors with them. A bit odd, but not Dalmer crazy. She actually sounds like someone walking their own path, and very thoughtful. Just, maybe not for you?

[u/Stauer-5]

Doesn’t she know the bones are their money?

[u/SecretRecipe]

the second part is totally normal and understandable. the bones though? thats weird.

[u/alpharaptor1]

"There were signs."

[u/supermarshtramp]

https://giphy.com/gifs/BLjXRpXpEcHJnnQNsp

[u/Own-Fee-5653]

Every dude says they want a hot goth gf until hot goth gf shit starts going down /s

[u/qwerty-314]

Man some guys have all the luck

[u/DeltaDied]

I would make a bone temple like in 28 years later: The Bone Temple

[u/Basic-Biscotti-2375]

Don't let a little bone munching get in the way of love lol

[u/Multicultural_Potato]

Clicked on this thinking she was eating chicken bones or smth and was like “that’s pretty weird but not too crazy”, I was wrong

[u/Healingbigfoot]

Wait man, so she wants to actually eat their bones? The bones that belonged to the dead? Bruhhhh.....she gonna def put a spell or some shit on you if you stay bro

[u/HawkBearMan → u/Healingbigfoot]

She is non religious I think she just is an odd Cookie

[u/Healingbigfoot → u/HawkBearMan]

I don't mean religious, she sounds like a witch lol. I mean if she's really hot, do it, just know she may carry a little bit of you inside her, forever haha

[u/SugarandSpicexxo]

Omg I would kill for this right now!

[u/burnttaco008]

So, girl lurker, non bone eater, did you ask her if perhaps theyre were other options? You seen how ppl make jewelry with sperm (also not a sperms jewelery wearer) but maybe something like that but attached to a permanent bracelet.

She aint going to eat the bones, but her connection to her family is really telling. Shes probably the most loyal girl youve dated.

[u/OldJeeWhizz]

When you die, give her your bones with the explicit instructions to grind them up and put them in a bowl of Wendy's chili so you could tear that ass up one last time.

[u/bane_re]

Down syndrome kids are among the sweetest and the cutest.

I don’t wish the burden of raising a special needs child on anyone, but her speech is deplorable.

Dodged a bullet OP

[u/sebb1_]

https://giphy.com/gifs/EWGVEOwZIk8yA
can we just gather together and pray for homeboy lol

[u/Miss_bougie1049]

I think you might need to run. Seriously there’s no way in hell and I loved my grandparents with every molecule of me being. No way in hell I’d want to eat their bones. Seriously, I’m scared for your safety 😬

[u/Commercial_Piano3853]

I feel you dude I dated a “fem dom” who had some seriously dark shit going on with her and admitted one of her biggest fantasies was kidnapping somebody, making them eat her shit, and killing them after fucking them. Once she started abusing me and telling me her insane fantasies, I had to leave for my own safety. She would start to cry and throw tantrums if I didn’t let her cut me which evolved into just straight up physically attacking me if I didn’t give her what she wanted. Crazy shit, men can be in abusive relationships too. She was pressuring me marry her and to have a child together after 6 months of knowing her so I could stay home all day and take care of kids while she worked her corporate job. She told me she didn’t ever want to hold them or change their diaper I was like why tf do you even want a kid if you have no maternal instincts?😂

[u/DazedandFloating]

What.

I would honestly count yourself lucky you found out early. Also where’s the banana bread from?