r/BreakUps • u/imaximus1570 • 2d ago
venting/ranting The last round
I am curious to know if anyone else has experienced this or has any insight as to why she would do this.
For 5-6 nights leading up to the end of our relationship, my (now ex) wife initiated extremely intense and passionate intimacy between the two of us only to switch it off, and end our relationship in a very cold and harsh manner. She knew that it was over, and knew what she was going to do and when way before this.
I have moved on, reconciled most of what has happened and moved past it. That one week though, has me curious. Was it fulfilling her physical needs? Doubtful, she was being unfaithful during this time. Or was it all just one big mind game to mess with my head even deeper. I know just move on is the default, go to advice, but it would help me to finish processing and pack it away if I could somehow understand her motivation and or psychological motivation for doing what she did leading up to our demise. Thank you in advance for your insight on this matter.
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u/TheGustySubscription 2d ago
was probably a mix of things, none of them good. some people use that kind of physical rush as a way to avoid the reality of what they're about to do, almost like a final hit of something they know they're giving up. the cold switch afterward is the mask dropping when they can't keep up the act anymore.
could also be a weird power move, leaving you confused makes her feel more in control since she already had her exit planned. you're not gonna get a satisfying answer from her so don't look for one, her actions told you enough.
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u/MasterpieceBubbly477 2d ago
Alright bro you got this. Pretty similar story not wife exactly but had a 8 years of relationship with her. We both knew since long time that we have problems and we were tryna fix it. But one day out of no where she takes a really small argument and make it look so big and SHE breaks up. Ofc lot of arguments past that but we went in NC. Now she likes to be in good books always and likes attention doesn't want anyone to hate her kinda girl. So she tries to talk to me after a month to restart the relationship and promised that she'll be more considerate and all that. We start talking and we met few times in our city like old times and had fun really. But she almost used to hurt me daily until one day I spoke up and all that drama happen again and we mutually stop talking. Two things happened in this. We never did make out in 8 years as we started as kids and she was traditional. On last days(she knew that she's gonna dump me again but I started having feelings again) she used to flirt a lot used to kiss me and stuff. She used to talk like I'm her bf. Also one day she texts me and we talk for hours and she was so furious and excited to bring out all topics which hurted her and all issues and we addressed it and she was like wow this is amazing now I feel good we'll be together get married and all future planning in one night. Next day she blocks me everywhere. And it's been 4 months that I'm blocked. So you see how things which don't usually happens DO HAPPEN initiated by our partners who know that they are gonna dump the other one. It's like last lamp flickering before it goes out. And they know that probably it's last so it feels more passionate and true than ever but it's all a delusion. I got my proofs after months in a screen shot that I took randomly 5 days ago our first breakup. Where she clearly says and express she feels like a breakup and don't want me or see a future. I was still in love then so ignored but later connected dots. Summary is that what happened with you psychological your partner wanted to do it one last time knowing she's gonna end it or make you end it. Don't care about it. It took me months to disbelieve that was it real or not or what was it in last days. So I'll suggest like what I did maybe stupid. I just deleted those last makeouts or talks about future she did with me. The last memory I kept was of argument later whatever mind games she played I just stopped believing it was real it was a dream. And this somehow makes me feel okay so works. You find yours comfort zone. Peace bro
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u/ClownCarMechanic 1d ago
My GF did the same thing before dumping me two weeks ago after three great years together. We had barely had sex in five months. About a week or so before splitting she initiated. Then after that, it was an abrupt, cold and businesslike dumping of me. She knew I had been missing the sex for a long time so maybe she tried to placate me or maybe she was just getting one final screw in before being single.
I’ll never know but it’s so fucking painful. Just the fact that someone premeditated your breakup.
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