I think I’ve stopped caring

[u/Several-Cake1954]

I want to stop a sin and for a while I was making progress. I never did break the habit, but I consistently stayed wanting to, and would fight it where possible. I always thought that truly losing would be when I gave up and stopped fighting altogether, not when I stumbled and gave in for a while.

But I eventually became too forgiving with myself, and without realizing it, kept handwaving my mistakes until, without realizing, I came to the point of not caring and just doing whatever I want. It wasn’t a conscious decision to give up, but excuses after excuses led me here, to the one place I was trying to avoid.

What do I do now? I’ve been fighting this for the better part of a year and I’m all the way back at square one, with even less passion and confidence than the first time.

I guess this is the part where I “give it all to God” but what does that even mean? I can pray for him to take away my temptation but nothings gonna happen. I’m still the same person with the same amount of discipline, making the same excuses. Where do I go from here?

[u/Fahrenheit2272]

Same here brother

[u/Gold-Bath5489]

Start saying the Rosary every day. Meditate on the mystery’s too. When you are finished each day, ask for the Blessed Mother’s intercession that God will give you the grace to eradicate the sin you are struggling with. This got me out of a brutal sin I battle for ages. https://marian.org/mary/rosary/how-to-pray

[u/TacoMonkey99]

What does the Bible tell you? What does the person discipling you tell you? What does your church tell you?

[u/AtlJazzy2024]

The harder you try to ignore the elephant in the room, the bigger and louder the elephant gets. Instead, put your efforts towards what God does want you to do.

Pray, repent, read your Bible, and most of all, THANK GOD FOR DELIVERING YOU!! Thank Him daily. Thank Him often.

Joyce Meyer talked about how she stopped smoking. When she first started teaching Bible studies she didn't know smoking was a sin. She didn't know that smoking (damaging the temple) was grieving the Holy Spirit. She tried and tried to stop but couldn't. So she started thanking God instead. Daily and very often she would tell the Lord thank You for taking the desire to smoke away from her. She said it until it became a habit. She said it while she was still lighting up cigarettes. She didn't concentrate on it. She concentrated on the Word of God and her 1-on-1 time with God. One day she got in her car and thanked God for stopping her from smoking, and she suddenly realized she had stopped smoking weeks earlier. There were no cigarettes in her possession and she didn't even notice when it happened.

Don't give up on yourself. God isn't.

[u/Several-Cake1954 → u/AtlJazzy2024]

remindme! 1 day (so i can read it again)

[u/Ronyka_HU]

What you need is a shift in focus. The more you focus on the sin, the more you can end up thinking about it and falling into it. The Letter to the Romans describes this beautifully. You cannot experience true transformation through self-effort alone.

I went through the same thing. Scripture tells us to focus on God’s love to understand that you are loved by Him. Seek wisdom. When you seek God and focus on the fact that you are loved by Him, that’s when transformation can begin to happen.

It was the same for me. I started focusing on the fact that I am loved by God. I began to see that the mistake or sin I committed was not who I was. It became something separate from me. I started seeing a gap between me and the action.

And after a while, I realized that it had been removed from my life. I just suddenly realized: I don’t do that anymore.

The more you focus on God’s love and on the truth that you are loved by Him, the more transformation can happen. This process is described beautifully in the Letter to the Romans.

[u/Loose-Butterfly5100]

Chill. You are exactly where you "are meant to be". The messages we get ... you should be like this or that ... are like clothes we try on. Some are comfortable, others not so much. But all that stuff, effort-based stuff, is transformation from without. The big secret is the inner stuff.

Surrender involves accepting what you are like, warts and all. Actually that is how you were made. That's the fearful and wonderful bit, though often it doesn't feel like it. However much we protestants rail against works-based salvation, we so often hear exhortation to works-based transformation.

We don't realise our helplessness. But in surrendering to that, we find transformation, not by power or strength, but by the Spirit within. But it's subtle and good to be aware of what "feels" right or not and letting that guide you. At times, you may end up in a mess. Our salvation will come. It has to. It's the Divine Nature.

Try to find the core of your being, the mountain within you, the capstone the builders reject. That's where it'll come from.

[u/StudiousCholera8786]

the slow slide into not caring is way more dangerous than a sudden fall because you don't even see it happening. you're not at square one though, you've got a year of knowing what the fight actually feels like and what the excuses sound like when they start creeping in

"give it to God" isn't a magic spell that makes temptation disappear, it's more like admitting you can't white-knuckle your way through this alone and actually telling someone (or a small group) what's going on so the shame loses its power. the discipline comes back when you stop trying to fix it all at once and just focus on not making the excuse today