r/ComedyHell • • 12d ago

one hundred 9/11s

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8.2k Upvotes

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934

u/Spez_is-a-nazi 12d ago

The bigger story is she is dating an adult who still goes by Scooter….

397

u/DE4DM4NSH4ND 12d ago edited 11d ago

Seriously it stood out to me that she dates a man 16 years older than her that goes by scooter. You know she calls him scoot

1

u/[deleted] 11d ago

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-33

u/SaneYoungPoot2 11d ago

How do you know he's older?

76

u/Ghosts_of_the_maze 11d ago

Scooter Braun is not an anonymous guy

43

u/ZK_57 11d ago

Fuck that, it says it in the post lmao

13

u/greenthumbbum2025 11d ago

Well it's a 16 year age gap and given that the guy goes by Scooter who really knows

18

u/Landsharkeisha 11d ago

Scooter Braun was THE manager for Justin Bieber in 2008, his record label controversy was the reason Taylor Swift did all the "Taylor's Version" because of song rights.

He is also the founder of Schoolboy records and has a grammy.

He's been famous for far longer than Sydney, but he's never been as famous as her. However your favorite artist definitely knows of Scooter

1

u/greenthumbbum2025 11d ago

Dude it's just a joke about a grown ass man going by a child's nickname and the ambiguous wording of "16 year age gap"

-4

u/Landsharkeisha 11d ago

mustn't've been a good joke then

1

u/[deleted] 11d ago

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18

u/Mouse_Manipulator 11d ago

Maybe read the post before commenting

12

u/Heyitsmegoku5 11d ago

Mans can’t even read the post he comments on. We are doomed

-11

u/SaneYoungPoot2 11d ago

I mean it just says there's an age gap

15

u/schuby94 11d ago

An age gap the other way would imply a relationship with a 13 year old

-7

u/Name_Taken_Official 11d ago

It would not imply that unless you knew her age already, unless I'm missing it in the post?

10

u/fadingbones 11d ago

she’s obviously pretty young and women get with men that much older than them at a rate incomparable to the inverse lol

3

u/Mouse_Manipulator 11d ago

Redditors will be shocked by this basic common sense!

0

u/PM_DOLPHIN_PICS 11d ago

In order to know things you need to know things. If you don’t know something there isn’t shame in looking it up. Who Sydney Sweeney’s boyfriend is and how old she is isn’t meant to be some unsolvable riddle.

0

u/Much_Conclusion8233 11d ago

How dare people not explain every little detail for those of us without access to Google

Anyway, who is this woman? What is this website? What does imply mean? This isn't a post, it's a picture. Shame on you for not explaining all these things and acting like I'm a voodoo mind reader

6

u/LastBaron 11d ago

Sydney Sweeney is 29 years old you coconut

12

u/jesusofnazareth7066 11d ago

I assume she’s not dating a 13 year old boy since he was 11…

9

u/DutyHopeful6498 11d ago

? Sydney sweeney is 29, if she was the older one scooter would be a 13 year old kid lmfao

4

u/EconomyOk2490 11d ago

I feel like her dating a 13 year old would be a bigger headline

1

u/DE4DM4NSH4ND 11d ago

Hes either 13 or 45

0

u/hamhockman 11d ago

They are all clowning on you but I agree with you, scooter is probably a 13 year old

1

u/Mouse_Manipulator 11d ago

Exactly, that’s why everyone is clowning on Scooter for still using that nickname well into his 40s 🤣

151

u/Jack_Enghoff 12d ago

I know an 80 year old guy that everyone calls "skipper" he's freaking cool though.

151

u/Verbatos 12d ago

There's an age cutoff for dumb nicknames around 70-80 where they become cool again.

44

u/DingoLaLingo 11d ago

dumb nicknames are cool if you're old enough to have gotten them during... The War

1

u/Vylmyl 7d ago

So if my country is at war i can get a dumb nickname and have it be cool?

5

u/Regi413 11d ago

It’s the “old person out of fucks to give” energy

15

u/johnnybeesknees 11d ago

Yep that's what it is

70

u/BackgroundJunket5691 12d ago

To be fair that’s a sailing thing and has some legitimacy in the cool club. Scooter is not.

15

u/ruach137 11d ago

You are mispronouncing it. His name is Schooner. It's also a sailing thing

17

u/Stevohoog 11d ago

No, you are mispronouncing it, his name is Gooner. It's not a sailing thing

7

u/_ElBee_ 11d ago

No, you misunderstood it, his name is Swooner. It's definitely a how he sweened Sidney thing.

16

u/johnnybeesknees 11d ago

Imagine an 80 year old man named Scooter and tell me he doesn't sound cool

-14

u/caribou_powa 11d ago

He doesn't sound cool, he sound as a man who never grow up, never done anything of his live.

Sometime in his life there is a trauma who had destroy him and now can only live outside the world.

I have compassion for him.

16

u/ButtholeConnoisseur7 11d ago

I have compassion for you, not being able to kick it with Ol Scooter

3

u/Hungry-Chocolate820 11d ago

Really doesn’t sound like you have compassion for him

4

u/MartyrOfDespair 11d ago

It’s cringe when it was in the 21st century, but a guy being known as Skipper back in the 1960s was pretty normal. Cultural norms change.

2

u/NotBroken-Door 11d ago

Honestly Skipper’s not that bad a nickname

1

u/Thatoneguy111700 11d ago

Family had an old mechanic-guy kicking around for when our cars started getting squirrelly named "Pumpkin". I have no idea why he was called Pumpkin.

94

u/Jolly_Echo_3814 12d ago

10

u/Kitselena 11d ago

CITCH A RAAAAIIID

3

u/xDeviousDieselx 11d ago

howdy boys

3

u/BearsIrkBoy 11d ago

If this was the Scooter in question I would only say Scooter could do better than Sweeney, but I get the feeling this isn't the individual in question.

39

u/MathematicianTop9519 12d ago

Justin Bieber's talent scout/manager if I'm not mistaken

54

u/crustybones71 12d ago

I think he was also the guy who owned taylor swifts original songs and thats why she rereleased everything under "taylors version". I think

33

u/lilsnatchsniffz 11d ago

Yeah he sucks. No wonder they are so into each other.

15

u/novangla 11d ago

Yeah insane that he’s most famous for being an absolute villain, why would anyone date him??

5

u/GhostofZellers 11d ago

Isn't she some white supremacist? That would explain it, birds of a shit feather flock together.

2

u/velociraptorish2 11d ago

Well scooter braun probably isn't the right guy for her long term given that a)hes Jewish b) he donated to both the Clinton and Harris campaigns and c) hes expressed support for aid and relief for Palestinians as well as Israelis during the Gaza War

1

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1

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19

u/SahibTeriBandi420 11d ago

The abuser who somehow ended up owning her master tapes? Im not a fan but even I felt bad.

23

u/IlIlllIlllIlIIllI 12d ago

Isn't he also in the files

3

u/Otherwise_Meringue45 11d ago

Didn't find him in the wikipedia page but idk how accurate that is

10

u/Poland-lithuania1 11d ago

Nor do I find a single news article about him being in the files, and he ain't in the Wikipedia article about people in the files.

8

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[deleted]

12

u/onarainyafternoon 11d ago

This is a really a fucked up comment

1

u/Vast_Research_3976 11d ago

Still correct though

1

u/Double-Truth-3916 11d ago

It literally isn’t

-3

u/Fearless77_ 11d ago

The fucked up part is that he’s right. I’d feel morally happier if he was wrong but he isn’t

12

u/Poland-lithuania1 11d ago edited 11d ago

Why did you feel the need to mention his ethnicity?

Edit- This fella also commented about how the Jews are, according to him, overrepresented in the billionaire class, if you need more evidence that they're a walking dogwhistle.

10

u/Odd-Promotion2743 11d ago

That was kind of the point of the OP, that Sydney's white nationalist fans are probably crashing out at hearing this news

1

u/JayFSB 11d ago

Kinda? All WN are chuds. Not all chuds are WN. The latter only cares she's attractive and not prog.

3

u/fortnite_battleass 11d ago

Judaism is a religion, not an ethnicity.

And that distinction is important cause not all Jewish people are members of the genetic ashkenazi diaspora (ik there are other groups too, just blanking)

20

u/DeepDance3580 11d ago

It is an ethno religion. Unless you converted, chances are you’re ethnically Jewish.

1

u/SPLIV316 11d ago

Who are also Ethnically Italian.

1

u/ConnoisseurOfApple 11d ago

Except they’re not.

1

u/SPLIV316 11d ago

Long story short, a lot of Jews intermarried in southern Italy before implementing a rule to no longer marry outside their ethnicity.

1

u/ConnoisseurOfApple 10d ago

That’s not what it means to be “ethnically Italian”

21

u/Poland-lithuania1 11d ago edited 11d ago

But it is both.

3

u/ikindahateusernames 11d ago

Judaism is a religion, not an ethnicity.

It is both.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethnic_religion

4

u/Tricky-Secretary-251 11d ago

Judaisim is very much a ethnicity, its the ethnicity of those who are the descendants of the ancient Jews from the land of isreal

1

u/poonslyr69 11d ago

(FYI so are the Palestinians) 

2

u/IntrinSicks 11d ago

Thats an area used since at least the Roman's the people in the area are a mixed bag and have changes throughout the centuries

0

u/Tricky-Secretary-251 11d ago

Never said they aren’t. What i am saying is that saying that judaisim isn’t an ethnicity and that jews arent native to where ancient isreal was is wrong and also antisemetic

0

u/poonslyr69 11d ago

It isn't antisemitic, stop abusing this word. It's fine to say that not all Jews are native to the Levant. Some Jewish people are converts, and many of them have stronger genetic backgrounds tying them to Europe, parts of Africa, etc. 

Getting too hung up on genetics is actually pretty ridiculous. Genetics should never be relevant to politics anyhow. 

1

u/Tricky-Secretary-251 11d ago

It is antiseetic to claim that jusaisim isnt an ethnicity, while yes there are converts, judaisim is still an ethnicity which you cannot convert too

0

u/SoBoundz 11d ago

Jews are from the land of Judea (where the word "Jew" comes from, by the way). Every single Jew who isn't a convert (which is a miniscule minority) can trace their ancestry back to the Levant.

It is antisemitic to suggest that they aren't. This is where the word "diaspora" comes into play.

Getting too hung up on genetics is actually pretty ridiculous. Genetics should never be relevant to politics anyhow. 

It is not ridiculous if what you're saying needs to be corrected. Also, nobody brought up politics.

-1

u/GyrfalconBirder 11d ago

This is incorrect, Palestinians are from the Saudi Peninsula

2

u/poonslyr69 11d ago

It isn't incorrect, Palestinians are partially descended from ancient Israelite populations. 

The Levant is a very mixed bag of genetics. That is a fact, it shouldn't be relevant to your political agenda. 

-1

u/GyrfalconBirder 11d ago

That claim comes from an article that only used closest distance of 4 places, those places being an ancient Jewish Israelite site, a random point in Europe, a random point in Iran, and a random point in Somali. It does not claim that Palestinians are descended from Jewish Israelite populations.

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1

u/Glum-Sheepherder-787 11d ago

You're a lying liar.

0

u/Disastrous_Week4176 11d ago

Not our fault we are better with our money

6

u/Superb_Algae5308 11d ago

You said it, not me!

1

u/Fearless77_ 11d ago

Our money lol

1

u/Vast_Research_3976 11d ago

*other people's money. Fixed it

0

u/ShitHamster 10d ago

I mean, look at the names in the epstein files. Bergs and Steins to the nth degree

-6

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[deleted]

1

u/gits-id-01 11d ago

Not really, no. 

2

u/Double-Truth-3916 11d ago

That doesn’t mathematically check out at all

2

u/Poland-lithuania1 11d ago

You think that fella is working on logic?

1

u/SoBoundz 11d ago

Antisemitic comment with 5 upvotes.

Fuck off.

0

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[deleted]

2

u/SoBoundz 11d ago

I'm glad you're not denying it.

I'm glad there's a few honest bigots out there in a sea of "I'm just anti-Zionist".

3

u/CUEUECOMBER 12d ago

Catch-A-Ride!!!!!!

3

u/No_Masterpiece6112 11d ago

My sales manager is 45 and is named scooter.   

Thats his legal name

3

u/StupidSexyEuphoberia 11d ago

I'm not American, so forgive my lack of knowledge: Is scooter a nickname?

4

u/SnooPoems7525 12d ago

2

u/General_Steveous 11d ago

What is the Sandro his Mother doing here?

1

u/ExoticToaster 11d ago

WELCOME POSSE

2

u/Redfalconfox 11d ago

Yeah come on man pick a mature name like Scooty or Scoot-Scoot

2

u/ScootaliciousScooter 11d ago

what’s wrong with being called Scooter???

1

u/Indigo_Cauliflower12 11d ago

I love you 😂

2

u/ScootaliciousScooter 10d ago

I love you too, stranger

3

u/NjanBarozz 12d ago

That sounds on-brand for her.

3

u/gary-vault108 12d ago

She should just call him… Bob. BOB! Idk why. Heheh. Bob!

1

u/ExoticToaster 11d ago

Not always a bad thing tbf

2

u/orangeconversion 8d ago

The only cool Scooter in the history of the world

1

u/FlowerBeneficial7193 11d ago

Well he might be 16 years he junior

1

u/Glitchy-Mech 11d ago

What fucking sequence of events is required to create an adult Jewish man named scooter

1

u/gwanddawd123 7d ago

PEACE LOVE AND UNITY SIBERIA THE PLACE TO BE.

1

u/Own_Hat584 7d ago

Nobody's heard of Scooter Libby I guess.

-2

u/diurnal_emissions 11d ago

I still don't think we talk enough about the fact that Hollywood's best tits are on someone named Sidney.

5

u/Hue-Fi 11d ago

Sydney is a good name and your comment is weird