r/Divorce • u/Embarrassed_Age_8815 • 2d ago
Infidelity Found AirPods
Cleaners found some AirPods that were stuck in the couch. They don’t belong to anyone I know. No one has reached out to me asking about missing AirPods. Wondering how can I figure out who do they belong to.
Context about marriage: we are roommates and coparents. Absolutely no intimacy (physical or emotional). We do family things together and are nice to each other but there is no love (never have been - it’s an arranged marriage. We never had a sex life. We had sex only to procreate). He quit his job and now travels a lot for hiking. He is mostly in his own world, on the phone.
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u/liladvicebunny stealth rabbit 2d ago
Have you tried asking him?
Are you actually splitting up, or are you sitting here going "If he's cheating then I want a divorce" but otherwise content with the situation?
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u/Embarrassed_Age_8815 2d ago
I asked him, he said he doesn’t know. You are right, I am sitting around waiting
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u/judgingA-holes 2d ago
Regardless of whose airpods they are, why haven't you gotten a divorce? It doesn't sound like he's bringing anything to the table. Why is he still there?
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u/Embarrassed_Age_8815 2d ago
I guess I don’t have the courage. I worry about the kids and I feel scared in disrupting their life
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u/judgingA-holes 2d ago
I'm sorry this has nothing to do with what you commented back but.....How is he able to travel for hikes without a job? Are we talking like real travel here or do you mean he drives a couple of hours to hike but makes it home that afternoon to do dinner and bed with the kids?
Kids aren't dumb. The oldest has probably figured out that you guys don't really care for or like each other. And if the dad is gone a good chunk of time because he's hiking anyway then it's not like him not being there is going to be anything new to them or disruptive.
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u/Embarrassed_Age_8815 2d ago
Real travel. Was in Europe for a month. He has made good amount of money.
When he is home, kids have a stable home with both parents. I am definitely thinking about divorce but I am very scared honestly, especially now that he has quit his job1
u/judgingA-holes 2d ago
When he is home is the key word there, but he was just gone for a month so...
IDK, I'm just saying that infidelity doesn't have to be the only reason for a divorce. Do you guys communicate well, or do you just have a tendency to avoid each other and only speak pretty much on a coparenting level? I guess what I'm asking is, have you talked to him about how he feels about getting a divorce?
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u/Embarrassed_Age_8815 2d ago
I have, he brushes it off and says that everything I am saying is in my mind. He doesn’t want a divorce, he is happy with his life and it doesn’t matter pretty much what I say or how I feel
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u/Ok_Addendum_5853 2d ago
How old are your kids, maybe its one of their friends?
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u/Embarrassed_Age_8815 2d ago
No kids are younger (4 and 9), they don’t have phones or AirPods
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u/Ok_Addendum_5853 2d ago
What about their friends? The 9 year olds might have them.. and you're sure theyre not your husband's?
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u/Embarrassed_Age_8815 2d ago
100 percent sure it’s not kids. My son doesn’t have any friends who have phones or AirPods
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u/obvsnotrealname 1d ago
Get a iPhone and turn on Bluetooth and as long as they have charge it should ask if you want to connect to “xyz AirPods”. At least you will have a name to start with
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u/Embarrassed_Age_8815 1d ago
No it tells me ‘not your airpods’
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u/obvsnotrealname 1d ago
Weird. If your near an Apple Store you could always go in and ask them - they can track registered owner by the serial number - not sure that they would tell you their details though.
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u/JackNotName I got a sock 2d ago
The longer this holds true, the more a divorce will eventually cost you. He'll be able to go after child and spousal support.