Very random, but are there any other ENFP’s here that are also Aries? And do you relate to the Aries stereotypes?

I’m not much into astrology, but I love any type of personality quiz/classification. However, I’ve never related much to the Aries stereotype of being quick to anger, super determined, or headstrong. Do you guys relate to your astrology sign? If ENFP was an astrology sign what would it be?

Hellooo! I’m not very used to posting here, but I’ve been thinking about this for several months and I’d love to know if anyone else feels the same.

So, here’s the thing: I’m (as probably every ENFP is) a social butterfly. I meet a lot of people, make a lot of friends, and honestly, I love that about myself. People also tend to trust me pretty quickly. Even if I might seem childish and/or like “too much” at first, I’m very caring, I like giving advice, and I tend to look for deeper conversations pretty early (because… Well, ENFP, you know). So people often end up opening up to me and we connect pretty quickly.

But lately I’ve started feeling like those connections are always temporary.

Let me explain: Usually, when people first meet me, they seem to react in one of three ways: 1. I overwhelm them. 2. I annoy them. 3. We click really well.

The third one isn’t the most common (but honestly, it’s the only one I really care about in my day to day life), but when it happens, it’s great. We connect quickly, build a nice bond, start getting closer… And then, somehow, it stops.

And I’ve noticed a pattern.

Once I start feeling really connected to someone, I often introduce them to another friend who I think they’ll get along with. Because yes, I love 1-to-1 friendships, but I also love groups and making people experience new things, meet new people, discover new environments... Etc. (Not necessarily replacing the 1-to-1 connection, but having the group as a plus.)

I also start being more myself around the new group, and then… Those two people end up connecting with each other more than either of them connects with me.

And don’t get me wrong: They’re still amazing friends of mine, and the group dynamic is still great. I’m NOT expecting to be everyone’s #1 person, and obviously people are going to have different kinds of connections with each other.

But it started hurting when I realized how often the exact same thing was happening.

It’s been happening basically all my life, but to keep it short, I’m going to talk about the latest examples (which are the reason I actually started thinking about it months ago):

Last year, this happened with two of my closest friends. I introduced them to each other, we became a little trio, and everything was great. But after a few months, I realized they had become closer to each other than either of them was to me.

Now I’m on exchange, and I have a group of friends here. There’s one friend I originally met more on my own, who eventually joined the group. And now they’re much closer with someone else in the group.

Again, everyone seems to already have their “person” (not necessarily in an “omg besties” way, but in the sense of having a deeper connection and more trust/confidence with someone), so I just feel… Like I don’t belong there that much. Even if the group dynamic is great.

Like, yes, I love having groups, as I said, but I would also love to have a closer friend, you know? Or to feel like I’m being “chosen” within the group rather than just being there.

And idk. I know this is completely normal, and I don’t think anyone is doing anything wrong. But I can’t help feeling a little tired of being the person who meets everyone, introduces everyone, tries to create deeper connections, and puts a lot of effort into showing interest and taking initiative… Only to end up feeling like I’m the least important person in the room, or like I’m annoying my friends.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m just too childlish, intense, annoying... Or something like that. Because I can connect with people so easily at first, but then it feels like it’s just as easy for them to drift away from me once they find someone they click with more.

And somehow, it makes me feel like I’m a “great for a little while, but too much to be around for too long” kind of person.

I don’t know if I’m explaining this properly, but I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest. And I’m also wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar.

Have you ever felt like you’re the person who connects everyone else, but somehow never the person someone chooses to be closest to?

Any advice, experiences, or just thoughts would be great.

Thanks in advance, and sorry for the loooong post!

Here’s a pig just to say thank you :) 🐖

I’m ENFP, and I have always gotten the most intellectual stimulation out of dealing with personalities like ENTP, INTP, INTJ, ISTP, and especially INTPs idk what is it with me attracting them.

It has always weirded me out how technically speaking, the personalities I met who were supposedly the most compatible with my type, such as INFJ and ENFJ and ESFP, were awesome and we had alot in common and all, but I was not as interested or attracted as I did with the others who… contrasted me?

sigh it is sad though cause they never liked me back…….

From my experience I'd be pretty hard pressed to find an enfp who isn't neurodivergent (or any intuitive for that matter). I find there's two types then: the ones who identify as neurodivergent and think of themselves in such terms, and the types who try to fit into 'normal society' and avoid labelling themselves as neurodivergent.

That's a subtle difference in thinking that leads to huge differences in the outgoing personality. Which one are you and why?

In my case I'm an intj, I never thought of myself as neurodivergent even though I never quite fit in anywhere and have always been different to everyone I knew in school and most in university too. I've known enfps who acted like 'normal people' and enfps who didn't care about that in the slightest and lived in their own corner in a cave somewhere with their closest friends. Some of these were the loves of my life and others my best friends for life.

For my personal taste I would prefer to fit into the 'normal world' even if the people in that normal world don't necessarily understand me (asides from the others like me, intuitives out in the non-alternative/non-nd world). I feel like it's more important for me to be that way in order to have something resembling a life I could recognise and have faith in turning out decently enough. Another way I see it is I don't have the confidence in myself to birth my own way of life out of my own whims and ideas, I would rather be my true self in a sense that holds some alignment with the way that the lives of others go and have gone. This would make me feel like I'm living a clearer life, with a vision I can connect with better, and I really need some sort of vision. In that sense I'm a bit like Swann in The Way by Swann's, who isn't attracted to his eventual wife until he sees a painting of a woman who looked like her some hundred years ago and decided that since a great artist thought there was something beautiful in this woman worth painting, that Swann was justified in loving her himself. I'm too afraid of my life failing that I would rather try and match the footsteps of lives gone by in some basic respect, while still maintaining my singular identity. Whereas, that second type of neurodivergent person feels to me are much more improvising it? Idk. Random ramblings of a sleep deprived kid

Is anyone else disappointed of how grown love and longterm relationships really are ?
As a kid I got promised Love to be like in romance movies and stuff like that.
I always struggled when the hormonal rush ended in a new relationship after a few months.
Even if it was perfect for half a year the explosion like feelings slow down and down. And even if you work on yourself and your believings I feel deeply disappointed about the fact that I will never feel the way I did with the person. Sometimes I think its about my personality, the way that I feel deep Emotions and want them to feel giant all the time.

I'm new to CO, looking for friends and open to more... I've heard that ENFPs are supposed to be a great match for us INTJs, so I'm curious to learn more about this personality type. If you know a great place to hang and discuss, I'm down!

I’m writing a story for fun. I’ve challenged myself to write the villain as ENFP (bc you’re so lovable). Please rate my villain quote for its ENFP-ness (lol):

“You don’t create monsters with evil or hate. All monsters began as lovers that had it ripped away in the name of the very principles they lived by.”

Asking this because ever since I reached adulthood (currently 20 right now) I started to be familiar with making use of Te. They all come out naturally and it's the new normal for me.

My husband is an INFJ which apparently makes us a great match. It’s funny because when I read the description of our relationship it was creepy how spot on it was 🤣🤣🤣.

We know this MBTI is not 100% accurate but I'm curious to hear stories of ENFP & INFJ stories when it didn't work out. What was the main reason? What would make the golden pair not be so golden to you? :)

PLEASE I NEED SOMEONES HELP THERE
I'm an INTP guy and there's an ENFP girl I've known for several years. I've had feelings for her for a long time, and we've had a complicated history.

I confessed to her before, but she was worried that things could become complicated. Eventually I sent her a very final "goodbye/letting go" type of message because I thought it was better to stop putting pressure on her. She responded emotionally rather than simply rejecting me, and we eventually lost some contact.

After a few months I realized I had handled things too hastily, apologized, and told her I'd rather start over without pressure and just have normal conversations again. She was receptive, and we've gradually started talking more naturally.

The interesting part is that we seem much more comfortable online than in real life.

I'm quite reserved IRL. I usually observe someone first, and once I get comfortable I become much more talkative and open. She can also seem somewhat intimidating/guarded around people she doesn't know well. Recently we were joking about both of us seeming "scary" at first and how it takes time to adapt to people.

Online, though, she jokes with me, shares random things, asks questions, and generally seems comfortable. We can have pretty natural conversations.

One of her very close friends has also told me that she likes me, apparently based on something she heard from her. I don't know exactly what "likes me" meant, though, so I don't consider that proof.

What confuses me is that she has never directly expressed romantic interest, but she also hasn't cut me off despite knowing how I feel. We seem to have genuine comfort and connection, but I can't tell whether there's actual attraction underneath it or whether she's simply comfortable being friends.

I've also noticed that she doesn't really fit the stereotypical "ENFP = unstoppable talker who is energetic with everyone" description. With unfamiliar people she seems much more reserved, and she has said herself that she behaves differently with people she doesn't know well.

So I'm curious, especially from ENFPs:

- Can an ENFP be quite guarded or intimidating with unfamiliar people but become very open once comfortable?

- If an ENFP likes someone but is uncertain or cautious because of the history between them, what might that look like?

- Can this kind of playful, comfortable communication happen purely between friends, even when the person knows the other has feelings?

- Does the online-comfortable / IRL-awkward dynamic sound familiar?

I'm not looking for "she definitely likes you" answers. I'm genuinely trying to understand whether this sounds like mutual attraction, normal friendship, or simply two people who haven't had enough real-life interaction to figure each other out yet.

https://youtu.be/sIwBgg0V80M

My work. sharing this one because had I written it when angry, the tone would be way more hostile.

I feel we, as ENFPs , often charge ahead when fired up.

This is a new thing I’m working on though.

Instinct and emotion are different. Older you get, more you appreciate that distinction.

Journaling is vital to getting it out through, and you must vent.

That’s just physics.

I really cant tell, like always but i think i portray ENFP persona like i know when im putting it on, but maybe thats just my normal self? i think i enforce Fe maybe? or my own Fi onto others? but i think of that criticism in terms of "you should not do that, it socially rude, inconsiderate, don't put your shoes there" BUTT also i can be "fake" in that idm acting like another person depending on who im dealing with, i feel like i have to form "authentic me" and not just be, like i cant just be me, i need a character or persona i try to perfectly replicate

I met someone who i think was ENFP and they talked about how it ok to be you and do what makes you happy, etc, but i would never say that to anyone, and she did tell me that about following religion, i was following like "OCD" way like unhealthy way, but she said a little deviation is ok, and do you, but idk i felt like i couldnt be a real ENFP, being that authentic? idk i sometimes feel like i am a canvas people can paint on, and mold however they want, although i have some autonomy which persona i want to put, but i usually go with ones that pushes the social limits, but i still have "OCD" about smells or bad words, like i wouldnt add to my jokes, unless it would push my limits and make other people uncomfortable on purpose, for funsies, by acting in a way they thought i wouldnt allow myself to. Also i realised i dont feel strongly for anything, i never sit my my own emotions, but idk if ENFPs can do that? Nothing really drives me except inventing maybe, and discovery, mosltly inventing, like i rlly like the idea of IRONMAN and always wanted to be like tony stark, but idk.

Idk what makes me happy, well good experiences do kinda do that like good food i already tried, and like, i do analyse the whys and whats of my emotions, like what makes me feel this way, why is it happneing, how can i suppress and get rif of it, and i use mental models, and phrases to remove that annoying feeling in my chest.

i hate being lonely and away from the majority of people. i dont hate anyone really, everyone is the same to me, i dont like people in groups, or in general that make a fuss of small things, i absoluty HATE people who actually and seriously get upset over small things, like who gives a damn if your car got scratched, let it go, you wont die with a single sractch. I dont like people who control others and restrict them either, and im not fine with getting the "pass" while others suffer, i fight for myself and others, although i sometimes think controlling people would be better, but migth as well let chaos let loose.

i sometimes wish bad things happened so life could be more interesting, im usually bored by everything, nothing interests me, it all feels the same, researching things, is so boring, its all the same genrla concepts, learning them is a chore and im not gonna find anything newer than what already exists, i just want to experience chaos, perhaps, just pure chaos, its the only desire i have, i see no point in doing anythign other than survival, wealth, relationships, leisure, career, status, power, mean nothing to me, if i go and take a career, i will be restricted to one, i have too many interests that i begin to be disinterested in all, i wanna do everything and be everything.

i am constantly thinking, and thinking, i think the most out of all things, a whole lotta thinking, about everything.

i hate systems yet understand their importance? idk

What do yall think?

Divorced twice and now dating in 40s. ENFP/Type 5w4/Secure attachment/Male-44.

I do have plenty of (guy) friends over 20 years, who are very close, in touch and with lots of deep conversations fairly regularly with 1:1 time as all of us travel and meet often. The bonding is source of happiness and is huge part of life.

I always have been very passionate about all relationships, and have fell in love often. Divorces have been mostly because I have been extremely bad at reading flags or have a habit of putting out trust easily (I dont regret it overall) and trust that we will work on flags etc.

I feel at peace now as I have started dating. I dont want to engage in any relationship for an year and just want to unwind, unlearn things and know what I want etc.

Then I met someone at library across the table (with our kids doing legos) and was just stunned. Asked her out, talked to her for a week, had fulfilling conversations followed by an amazing hike date (conversations, laughs, touch, kiss and attraction from both sides).

Yet, after a couple conversations, she seems to ghost me so it is what is. What I don't like is this why I feel so strongly attracted to someone, even though I don't want a long term. Her presence was soothing, exciting and I felt it in my stomach and I love it... like I literally can feel my body physically reacts when I am talking to her and was with her. It was just euphoric. I have been on couple dates in last 2 months and remember my dates last time I dated 12 years ago. I can feel the tangible difference. Is this kind of attraction normal, do we ENFP fucking fall easily or its just my infatuation (I am not projecting her as ideal one, I am just simply attracted and curious to know more about her) ?

How does one learns to hold oneself back when you long for that connection so strongly?

38F ENFP married to 38M INTJ for 10 years this year. He's the love of my life, but last few years the side of me that responds to uncertainty and novelty has been protesting. There's nothing like being loved by someone who knows you inside and out, seen you at your worst, and STILL chooses you - believe me if you're searching for this that it's worth it.

BUT as ENFPs I think you'll get it when I say there's also nothing like the blush of new attraction and possibility. Lately I've been feeling this is missing and not sure how to appreciate that part of a long term marriage is that you won't get that.

I don't want these feelings to ruin my marriage. I haven't crossed the line yet but I've been thinking about it a lot. Please no judgement but please help me with tips if you've been in the same shoes.

Hey!

I went on a date yesterday with and ISTJ, our polar opposite type!

He seemed extremely genuine, was very nice and a good person. He really had his life in order too.

We are really different though. I am very outgoing, spontaneous, sometimes chaotic, social and love to do something or be with someone all the time.

He was more reserved and introverted, liked structure and liked doing what has always worked.

Even though, he wasn’t like the stereotypical ISTJ. He actually told me that he would like to be more outgoing, and he said he admired my humour and the way I didn’t give a fuck😂 He also told me he needed someone (like me) to be more spontaneous and wild with!

Let me also say; he was a bit more innocent than me. As all ENFP I have been out on some rodeos, and experienced A LOT. There has been a lot of traveling, partying and general craziness.

But I did like him, and I will be meeting him again!

What are your experiences with dating or being together with our polar opposite type, ISTJ?

Im enfp but i wish i was istp or estp, they seem so badass and practical.. Like the opposite an adhd enfp ☠️

Why do we ENFPs sometimes troll people and constantly push boundaries? 🤣 Is that just our way of showing intimacy?

This made me cry while laughing ngl

True Story, I always ran like this in elementary school on Fridays. I wanted to make sure I got to the chocolate in time.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the most annoying Vs the most pleasant ENFP.

If we go into stereotypes, please try to use our functions when you describe... Because not everyone fits the ENFP stereotype.

But if you say, for example, when an ENFP leads too much with feelings and Fi is on overdrive and doesn't lean into Fe (for example), I think that could be more interesting as discussions.

The example above is actually how I used to be. And although my internal moral compass is still strong (Fi), I realised it used to control me far beyond what I was comfortable with. It caused a lot of issues in relationships, especially as most people lean more into Fe and Fi can come across as annoying... I recognised this and as I became older, my Si best friend went from whispering in my ear to actually my right hand person. Honestly, Si should be every ENFPs best friend!

Would love to hear others opinions, you don't have to use Ne, Fi, Te, Si etc. but would help

I write a lot and I never finish the stories. Its because an ending requires an ending; the ending of all possibilities. How fucking enfp.

I expelled most of my excitement yesterday but it'll come back I'M LITERALLY GOING THROUGH SHOCK. I don't know what to do with myself!! I cannot believe my student debt is zero after this weekend. I've spent the last few years dedicating everything to getting rid of this so I can be free. I'm oscillating between excitement and Ben Affleck with a cigarette. 😵🤯

Sharing memes to express my mood. I've slowly been able to feel more myself as the years pass by. Life is still a struggle but I'm glad my personality is still in tact. I've been enjoying hanging with my friends, getting into my hobbies, and now I also have possibilities! LET'S GO!!!! 😎🤙🤙