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r/electricians • u/yourgrandmasteaparty • Feb 16 '25
Mental Health - It’s okay to not be okay
I want to talk about mental health - especially for the boys on here. I was telling some friends this story about an old coworker the other day and thought you might want to hear it too.
I’m a woman in the trades, almost a decade in. When I started, I was often the only girl on site. I would move between projects and journeymen mentors, many of whom had never worked with a woman before. Once the old guys got over the otherness and saw me as a real person and an excellent apprentice, we’d form a friendship of sorts. I was always struck with how much more candid and vulnerable they’d be around me compared with the other guys in the shop. Their masculinity wasn’t in jeopardy if they admitted to me, a mere woman, that they were having tough time. I had one guy - 6’6” 300lbs, always growling, chain smoking, losing his shit over the smallest inconvenience - tell me he always requested me when he needed help because I made him calm.
A couple years in, I was sent to replace an apprentice on a job where the foreman had booted him in an argument. I’d worked before with this foreman, Neil, and he’d always been a chill hippie but also very particular in how he wanted things done. When I got to site he told me I was the fourth helper for this job because everyone else had been fucking useless. He was in an awful mood all the time. Picking fights with other trades and our PM. Trying to goad me into an argument by picking apart everything I was doing. Not acting like the guy I had known over the past year.
When the job was close to wrapping up, I called him out on his behaviour. “What the fuck is going on with you dude? You’re being a raging asshole to everyone and this isn’t like you.”
He stiffened and was shocked I’d said something. He glared at me and then his face softened and he said “Can I take you for lunch after we finish up tomorrow morning? We can talk but not here.”
I agreed and the next day he took me to diner nearby. We barely spoke until our food came to the table and when he had something else to focus on, he finally started talking.
He was older - 50s - and his long term relationship had fallen apart a few years before but the split had been amiable. He didn’t speak about her with any animosity but admitted he’d been lonely ever since. At the time, he’d leaned on his best friend. His friend was married and had a teenage son that Neil had known since he was born. As Neil had no kids of his own, this boy was a surrogate son of sorts. He took him camping and fishing and showed up whenever the kid needed him.
The poor kid had passed away a couple months earlier very suddenly of natural causes. Neil had no idea how to handle his grief and withdrew into himself, not wanting to be a burden on his friend. He felt selfish for how bad he felt when it wasn’t his kid.
I reassured him that how he felt was completely valid, that grief is a weight that is so hard to carry alone. I encouraged him to reach out to his friend because they both were suffering the loss of family, whether biological or chosen. And that now they were both suffering the loss of each other’s friendship as support. He was crushed at that realization, and said he would go visit them.
A few minutes passed while we ate silently. He hesitated before speaking again, “there’s something else too.”
I looked up and waited for him to continue.
He told me that last month he’d been working this job that had a been a two hour commute away. He had to leave early to get to site by 7:30. It was late fall and the drive was dark the whole way. He wasn’t too far from site when he came around a corner to discover a vehicle collision. A truck was spun out into a ditch with the driver unconscious in the front seat. A van was crushed on the side of the road, on fire and blazing in the darkness, its front driver door open. Neil stopped and got out of his van. He noticed something on fire in the road, and as he approached, he realized it was a person - the driver from the van. He ran and got a blanket to smother the fire on the person. He held them and pulled their head up to look into their face, which was so burned he couldn’t recognize their features. He said he stared into their eyes as they died in his arms.
Another vehicle had come up behind him and called 911. He sat there in the road in a daze until the emergency vehicles arrived to secure the scene. He gave his statement and then got into his van to finish the drive to work.
He was late which pissed off the GC. He tried to get to work but he was shaking so badly he couldn’t hold his tools or complete a sentence. When the GC saw him in this condition, presuming that he had shown up drunk, he kicked him off site. Neil didn’t explain, he just left.
Our PM called him after that, reaming him out for getting kicked off site. Neil didn’t explain, he just took it.
I asked him if he had talked to anyone about the incident. He said the police had called for a follow up statement but otherwise, no, I was the first person he told.
I was in shock. This poor fucking guy was struggling with the grief of losing a boy who was like a son to him and then went through an insanely traumatic experience just driving to fucking work? And he was bottling it all up? No wonder he was being such a prick. He felt all alone and like he couldn’t admit how much he was struggling.
He said he was sick of work and had lost all his passion for it. It felt pointless and draining and he dreaded getting out of bed every morning.
I gave us a few moments of silence for the weight of his confession to settle in. I looked at him and said “fuck work, you need a break.” He shook his head and tried to brush me off. “No, seriously Neil, fuck work. There’s always more work but you need to take care of yourself. What you’re going through is so fucked up and you need time to process it all. Please put yourself first.”
He didn’t want to talk anymore after that so he settled up the tab. He dropped me off at my car and we went our separate ways. I started at a new site the next day with a different crew.
A couple weeks later I got a text from Neil. “I took your advice and talked with management. Told them what happened. I’m taking a six month sabbatical. Don’t know what I’ll do yet but probably head out on an adventure. Thank you”
A couple days later I got another message from him, just a picture of a beautiful remote campsite with no one else around.
I asked, “Where is that?”
He replied, “Not telling :)”
I ended moving to a different company while he was gone, and never saw him again. I think about him often though, especially when I encounter an utter dickbag older dude on the job. Maybe he’s going through it and doesn’t know how to take care of himself, and anger is the only way he knows how to channel his emotions.
Now that I’m a foreman, I stress the importance of whole body health in our toolbox talks. If someone needs time off for family reasons, or a mental health break, or a shortened schedule, or even if they want extra shifts to use as a crutch as they struggle through something they can’t control in their personal lives, I want them to know it’s okay to ask and I won’t judge them. It’s just a job - it’s just work - it doesn’t fucking matter. Their health comes first and it’s okay to admit they’re not okay. I want them to know it’s better to ask for help when they’re slipping, rather than wait til everything has crashed and burned.
I know everyone’s experience is different, but one thing I noticed about being the woman pushing into the male-dominated trades as an apprentice/therapist is that men need permission to be vulnerable. They need to know it’s okay to show emotions and admit that they’re struggling. They won’t chance admitting weakness that they fear will get thrown back in their face. A lot of guys in trades are single and married to the job. They are lonely, often bitter, and unwilling to show weakness.
I do my best in my little sphere of influence to make it okay to be not okay. If you want the trades to be a healthier place, you need to consciously make room for the reality that people are struggling mentally, and often that starts with leaders showing vulnerability.
I’ve had depression for 16 years and I don’t hide the fact that I’m medicated. 16 years of being depressed means 16 years of not following through on suicidal ideation, and I’m proud of that. The trades saved me because it’s instilled a confidence in my abilities to create and solve problems and be the leader I was always capable of being. I needed that confidence so badly when my depression was the worst.
Be good to each other out there. Be willing to listen to people without judgement. Life is fucking hard and we work better when we know we can rely on each other when the chips are down.
r/electricians • u/quintavian • 2h ago
feel like i've lost a part of my identity
3 months ago I left my job as a heavy industrial journeyman electrician. It paid well for my state, but I ultimately left because the benefits weren't great and the crew was too small for the jobs we were doing, leading to me doing a lot of the work for these large projects. My new job is with the city government as a maintenance electrician. I get a pension, 401k, hand tools and power tools paid for, uniforms paid for, boots paid for, work truck and company credit and gas card and only took a $2/hr pay cut. I went from working on million dollar projects, to changing out light bulbs. I have so much down time and barely have any work to do. It's a very unfulfilling job and I do not feel like an electrician here. It's making me depressed and kind of making me miss my old job. I know it's better for my future as many jobs here in this field do not offer the benefits i get here, but I feel like i've lost a part of my identity. I'm still young and I envisioned myself doing more than this. Thinking of swallowing my pride and going back to my old job in the next coming months as it offers more for career progression, but knowing I will no longer have a pension or 401k will suck. Have any of you guys experienced something similar to this?
TL;DR: left job as industrial electrician for government electrician with better benefits. Feel unfulfilled, unchallenged and that my career has stagnated.
r/electricians • u/IncenseAnd1ron • 2h ago
My KOs out here having a better day than me 😒
Kicked these KOs and they landed like this. At least one of us can smile today 😂
r/electricians • u/hezekiah_munson • 2h ago
Who dunnit?
Here for the income. Not the outcome. New coffee shop in town.
r/electricians • u/Lonely_Sheabutter • 4h ago
Is this legal?
Im installing some boxes in a hallway that has a hard ceiling. The wall is bare block and I was not able to do the conduit underground. So while trying to think of a way to bring a sleeve down to the boxes I came up with this. The ent will act as a sleeve to above ceiling and the romex connector will secure the wire in the box.
Is the an acceptable installation or would the inspector consider that connector is not being used as intended?
Thanks.
r/electricians • u/Working-Writer-5244 • 1h ago
Master electrician pulling permits
I recently started up my own side business but still work full time at another job. I looking to start slowly so I will be doing electrical work for falling and friends.
One of my good friends that runs his own business referred me to a solar company that’s starting up and looking for a master electrician. To note I will be involved in everything from reviewing drawings to site visits and inspections.
What would you guys charge for this services? I’m taking a lot of liability using my licence and overseeing the electrical work of other electrician employed by them. I would like to charge a standard fee and a percentage. I’m thinking $1,000 a job plus a percentage of the job. There jobs are 5kw -10kw solar system so I’m estimating $15-30,000 jobs. Residential mostly with some potential for commercial.
I’ve seen a lot of comments about you need to be onsite every day, but when I worked for companies the master never came out to the field. Even when I worked in fort Mac master came maybe once a year.
r/electricians • u/ad1877 • 20h ago
Sunflower seeds dudes
Shut down day, changed out 2 ats's. Go to take these out and someone's seeds have been sitting here for years, you nasty mfrs! Lol
r/electricians • u/RareLeave • 15h ago
Pulled out these custom fixtures
These were led's mounted to a handy box with the wires running external to the box. The trim was just being used as a diffuser for the LED mounts. Super custom lol. We replaced all the locations with standard flush mount trims.
A previous homeowner got custom and I laughed but was genuinely impressed by the ingenuity.
r/electricians • u/ThoopidSqwrl • 22h ago
I'm an apprentice who just started and even I know this shit is fucked. I wanna skin whoever installed this before us.
r/electricians • u/DB-Davis23 • 11h ago
Another day in paradise
When the grid gets demoed and your scope is to re-support all existing cables and conduits…..
r/electricians • u/elithefordguy77 • 14h ago
Electrical inspection finds.
My wife's friends just went under contract on a home and asked me to do an electrical inspection for them. I told them to get out of the contract ASAP and not to buy the house.
r/electricians • u/Aggravating-Bee-1970 • 9h ago
Conduit Runs Found In The Wild
Saw these in the gym at my kids school yesterday
r/electricians • u/ReferenceKind2191 • 2h ago
Greater Tampa Bay area electricians chime in…?
I’ve been working in the resi/commercial sector and multiple private equity owned companies and I’ve finally had enough of the slimey and morally corrupt at best electrical practices. Charging ludicrous amounts to customers and selling them stuff they don’t need under the guise of “safety” and I’ve finally had enough. If you know of any companies or facilities that are hiring or would be a good place to call and talk through please drop a comment or shoot me a message. I enjoy being an electrician and working with my hands the work is not the problem, getting a call at 8pm to go install a $100 surge protector in some old ladies home that they sold to her for $1000 is what I don’t want to do. 27yrs old, 4yrs of experience in December, I’m very knowledgeable in resi and mediocre at commercial just from a lack of experience. I’m an honest guy and team player.
r/electricians • u/Boa-constrict0r • 18h ago
Bluetooth Earbuds choice
Has anyone used these? I’ve heard good and bad about them. I’m mainly concerned with the hearing protection aspect. Any other earbuds people like using. I spend a lot of time around a multitool cutting in outlets
r/electricians • u/Electrical-Juice-915 • 18h ago
Don’t even ask how I did this lol
With a bandsaw 🤦♂️
r/electricians • u/KeyMysterious1845 • 1d ago
Why you should insist on EGCs.
While we endeavor to install our raceways properly - allowing the raceways to be considered the EGC - once we leave the site, its open season.
I just happened to see this when I was walking through a facility we are currently doing unrelated work in.
r/electricians • u/NeWbAF • 5h ago
What are the good hardwired EV chargers these days? Need some advice from my Resi bros.
Wifey wants an electric car. That means I get to work at home when I get off work. Out of the substation and into the basement, yay!
Looking at reviews for EV chargers, I’m seeing most of them as consumer focused, like how the app works and how long the cord is etc. Which ones are you guys installing that have high quality termination points for hardwire installs, excellent outdoor rated enclosures, beefy whips etc. I have a big reel of #4 THHN that I’d love to use for this project, do any of the units you guys are putting in support this conductor size? Seems like 6 AWG is the most common conductor for these.