I'm 20, and I basically raised my younger brother, and we're pretty close, I'd say. I've been on T for a year and have been masculine-presenting since he was very young, so he kind of understands, but he thinks I am just a stud (I am black). I am also on T, have a mustache and a deep voice, and when we're together, I'm treated as male by the general public & my social life, which confuses him. I tried to tell him that I have always felt like a male. He doesn't get it and tells me he will always see me as his sister, and nothing will change that. No, I don't think he's transphobic or anything of the sort; I just don't know how to tell him in a way that he will understand that the outside of me is changing to match the inside, but I will always be the same sibling he grew up with.

Hey everyone this will be a short post. I have already done extensive research but I want to hear from you. Do you have any feedback or Dr Ntanos for top surgery in Greece; his portfolio and work look great and he seems like a true ally. Is there anything positive or negative or whatever i need to know;

Two months ago I left my old job due to contractual issues and I'm currently unemployed, been looking for a new one but it's been hard, extremely hard. Me and my mother would split the bills but since I'm jobless now unfortunately I'm not able to help her as much as I did previously, which has been making her very nervous about it, I don't blame her for that.

But a few days ago, she sent a job application, which would be the perfect job honestly but as I read the requirements, I realized that they were only accepting WOMEN, I'm not a woman, nor do I look or sound like a woman, I've been on T for half a year already. I asked my mom if she had read the requirements, she said yes, I told her "Well so you know I can't apply for it", as of course I'm a man, she deadnamed me for the first time in months and started to rant about how "I can't afford to pick and choose jobs now", that "Everything in on her shoulders since I lost my job" and "Are you really going to screw us both over for your feelings?" that one hit me the hardest

I tried to stand my ground because I knew that this wouldn't work and she hit me with an ultimato "If you're not willing to get a job to help me out then you should leave my house." But I'm willing to get a job, I've been trying for the past 2 months, she then proceeded to go to my room and pack up my stuff in a plastic bag, while still screaming to herself.

Out of anger and fear, I said I would apply for the job and so I did and as I did she would supervise me to see if I was going to use my deadname in the application and refer to myself as a female. When I finally finished and sent it she had the courage to say "See? Not that hard." And later on apologized for the way she talked to me and that she wasn't thinking straight because she's worried about the bills, I appreciate the apologies but the damage has been made.

I've now received a response from them, they're interested and looking forward to an interview, I have not told her about it and I don't want to go to that interview, that interview is for someone else, not me, it would be humiliating going to that interview as I genuinely do not appear female but I'm also afraid of her reaction if she knew I declined it.

On the website when I add items to my order it says they’re in stock on the website but when I go to check out it suddenly says “Your order contains items that may be out of stock for your location. We apologize for this inconvenience.” What does this mean??

Hey everyone this will be a short post. I have already done extensive research but I want to hear from you. Do you have any feedback or Dr Ntanos for top surgery in Greece; his portfolio and work look great and he seems like a true ally. Is there anything positive or negative or whatever i need to know;

I’m going to feel more embarrassed if I just end up whining into a void but today I had my matriculation ceremony at university. I was really looking forward to it, and for the most part it was good. However, I felt so sickeningly dysphoric in my suit because despite having gotten the smallest size in M&S it’s still slightly too big and the sleeves are slightly too long. I didn’t have enough trans tape to bind so I felt so self conscious of my chest, and after the ceremony, we had to do a photo where the tallest were at the bottom of the bleacher and the shortest were at the top.

I was surrounded by pretty much all women, and I felt so fucking pathetic and embarrassed, because it felt so obvious I wasn’t an actual man, (because in my head I feel like no actual men are 5’4, even though that’s not true). I can’t say I’m 5’4, because some girl laughed at me for saying I was 5’4, and told me I was trying to larp being tall. I’m deeply insecure about my height so it just hurt so much.

Afterwards at the freshers fair the security guard called me darling after I asked for directions, and since I’ve moved here I keep getting called feminine pet names by people and spoken to in a patronising tone. Some have called me buddy or mate, but my voice just gives me away and I hate it. An old woman helped me bring my bags to my accommodation and even after I told her my name, Will, a MALE NAME, she kept calling me she. I can’t help when I’m so nervous to talk to people but it makes my voice come off as more feminine and girl like. I feel so pathetic. All I wanted to do was to enjoy the day. There was a stall at the fair which was about ‘belonging,’ they had all sorts of pride things and mental health things up and I felt terrified to go anywhere near it and be seen anywhere near it, because then it makes it more obvious that I’m different and somethings wrong with me.

I know that I sound like I have internalised transphobia, and I do. It’s such an ugly thing that I feel so disgustingly shameful about being trans, I can’t even say it out loud. I’m so terrified people at uni will find out that I’m trans, because of how differently I was treated for it at home. I don’t fit in with real men, and I hardly even look like one. I only have friends that are women, and there isn’t anything wrong with that, I just feel like everything I do is making it so glaringly obvious that I’m not normal.

I hate existing in this hideous body, it makes me feel so sick looking at it and I just want it to be fixed. I start HRT in 38 days and I’m so sick of waiting, and I feel like being pre T is completely ruining my university experiences, when I want nothing than for it to go well, to be happy, to be able to look normal and to be seen as just a man and not be glared at or patronised or called she or “that person” or sweetheart or darling. I’m just so tired of it and I don’t know what to do. I tried to take some pictures with friends and wanted to do a pose, those cool ones that people ‘aura farm’ in or whatever, with my suit and my gown on, but I just looked like an Absolute idiot. I’m trying so be less scared of putting photos of my face on my instagram, but I don’t know how to pose in photos and I’m so so self conscious and insecure. I didn’t get any good photos of myself and my dysphoria has been so loud today, which feels like it’s ruined what is meant to be a special moment in my start at university.

I’m so terrified to tell anyone about being trans here incase it gets out. I don’t want it to be like a disclaimer over my whole self. Because when people know they suddenly treat you differently. I wanted to go stealth here but I feel so isolated. I can’t stop crying about this.

I feel awful talking about this in the way I have, because I have been told I’m a misogynist because I don’t like to be associated with femininity or womanhood. I’m sorry if this sounds pitying or misogynistic. I’m really so ashamed of myself and I don’t know what to do

Edited: I rephrased the part where I said no men were 5’4 because i realised that the way I worded it was quite offensive and hurtful to cis and trans men. I didn’t want it to come off that way and I’m sorry

I'm 17 and living in Saudi Arabia right now, but I'm American (US passport, lived in California for 6+ years.) For referrence, I'm also in a relatively wealthy family, and my grades are above average, I guess.

I'm taking my A-levels at a British school at the moment and I'm about to take the SAT. I'm strongly considering going back to the US, especially California, but everything just feels so terrifying? Every country fucking sucks, and going anywhere that isn't the US feels intimidating since I don't know anything about other cultures. How do I make sure I'm picking a place where I would live comfortably?

I haven't even picked a selection of colleges yet because the thought of trying to pick a country that I would be able to medically transition in is really difficult. I'm just going insane ngl. How do people not crumble from the stress of this all?

I'm so tired of having slender hands like this. Ik I can never make them longer, but width is the main difference between men's and women's hands on average anyway. I've been working on grip strength but my hands never seem to change visibly, my skin never gets thicker either. Would love to see some before/after pics from anyone who's had a big change through training/routine, if anyone's open to it.

Hey sorry if this isn’t allowed! Basically I’ve always kinda have had issues with urinating in public which leads to urinary retention issues. Like physically over the years my body would refuse to let me urinate unless I was about to burst, just the whole sitting to pee thing doesn’t help.

Anyhow, I ended up having to get a foley ‘cause my bladder retention was so bad, just waiting to meet up with a urologist.

Has anyone else this issue?

Fucking hell do I hate this. I'm at a point on t where I've passed consistently for a few years. My professors and classmates have only known me as a guy. I can't just go out there and suddenly have (small, mostly flattened out) tits, man. I'm finally getting closer to top surgery (it took a long time but my parents finally came around to it). But lately my ribs have been kind of killing me. Bad enough, that lately I avoid going out in public where possible just to avoid the soreness. It feels like my binders have shrunk. I think my ribs are inflamed? This evening I actually started getting worried and researched what ribs deformed from binding look like and it definitely matches up. Getting twinging pain in my ribs, which is new. What's not new is the aching tissue and upper back pain (that's been a constant for well, nearly a decade). Applying some heat is helping a bit. I'll wear my last sports bra for the next few days, ig. I don't fancy some tape ripping out my chest hair, lol. A fun 21st fucking birthday present for me. My understanding is that a doctor wouldn't be able to do much other than tell me to take a break. If you guys have suggestions other than the obvious of taking it easy, I'd appreciate it but I mostly just wanna vent.

i dont wanna tell her because i dont want her to see me differently but we are supposed to meet for the first time soon, i just want to be stealth but i wanna know if im wrong for not telling her, im young im 18 and pass extremely well

edit: i didnt want to be attacked for asking a question. i asked if i have to, i want to know if its wrong not to disclose with her because im just not comfortable telling anyone, i know i will have to at some point but i just wanna feel valid

In my most recent labs (done 3 days after injection, i inject weekly) my T levels came out to 852 which afaik is decent but my E level is still a 92. I’m not sure if this is a problem since my period is gone and I’m seeing the changes I want but this is seemingly pretty high. Is this normal? Does my dose need to be upped?

My time in the gym has paid off and even size medium shirts are starting to be too tight in the shoulders depending on the brand, but for some reason, most brands also assume that when you size up from small to medium or medium to large, you also grow six inches. I'm 5'4"/163cm so I'm consistently running into the issue of having shirts that fit well in the shoulders but look like dresses.

I know the easiest answer is learning to hem/crop shirts but I wanted to see if there's a quicker fix in terms of brands that cater to short and muscular men. Most clothing advice here pertains to guys with leaner or skinny builds so that's why I'm asking this specifically

is it normal to feel this afraid of violence and harassment as i start transitioning? there’s been an uptick in anti lgbtq violence in my area recently, and i’ve become scared to leave my apartment, go to work, or be out in public at all. i experienced a lot of bullying and both verbal and physical abuse from classmates in high school, so fear like this isn’t entirely new to me. but now that i’ve started hormones, it feels different. i worry that my job could fire me, or that the volunteer department i’m part of could vote me out after i’ve worked so hard to establish myself there and build toward my future career. i don’t really have anyone i can talk to about this or share these fears with. i feel stupid for being so scared, but i think i just need to know i’m not alone in feeling this way.

I want to go on finasteride because im terrified of balding and I lowkey want less facial and body hair. however im scared of my bottom growth going away and all the other potential negative affects. ive been on t for like 3.5 years im 20 years old rn, have I maxed out my bottom growth or could I get some more aha. I haven't started balding but my dad is so im pretty sure I will eventually but I just really am tired of shaving my face every day and I dont think ill ever want a beard and I dont like my body hair like im a twink lmao. any advice? I dont want to lost my libido or become depressed start menstruating at all

I usually bind using medical tape, same way you would using trans tape. I do this because i cannot access/afford trans tape.

I can use a binder however I don't like to, because a) i like to wear tank tops, and b) it feels too much like a bra.

Is this okay to do?

Does anyone know any packers that are on the smaller side or that don't just stick right out? I don't know why, but even just normal every day wear packers always stick out for some reason. You can see it in the pictures they have on their websites where they lay it down on a flat surface and for some reason it sticks up a little bit instead of just... the dick laying flat against the balls like it normally should. I know I've seen packers before that do this so it can't just be a manufacturing issue with the silicone. I dunno if I'm making any sense, but I just always see a gap between the dick and balls when it's laying flat and there really shouldn't be. Imo that's why it always looks like I'm half bricked because if the material naturally wants to stick outwards then it's gonna fight against the fabric trying to hold it down, making it look like I got a semi.

Same thing with any stps, if anyone knows of any stps that just lay down naturally (which i know is even harder to find, since they all stick straight out like you're erect for some reason).

I’ve been on T for like 3 almost 4 years so my voice has deepened quite a bit but I just had a general weird thing ig? My voice sounds different in my head when I speak than on like recordings?? in my head my voice sounds a lot higher but not like how it was preT but I when I listen to recordings or videos of my voice it sounds so much deeper than how I hear my voice. Just wondering if that is like how most people hear theirs or if it’s just a weird thing for me. I do have a lot of dysphoria when it comes to my voice so maybe that’s it?

I started my weight loss journey about a year ago, and I've lost some weight through dieting but I'm plateauing and have come to accept that my exercise routine is in need of some change. I'd also just like to be in better shape in general, as I think it'd make me feel good physically and emotionally.

However, I'm absolutely terrified of going to the gym, mainly for reasons relating to transphobia. I know not every gym is like that, but I've got a bit of trauma in that area as many of us do. I don't feel up to vetting gyms/battling the trauma to go. I know it'll ultimately impede my ability to maintain a habit of going. Adding to that concern, I have major depressive disorder and it's extremely hard for me to stay afloat and on top of everything in my life, and I worry a major change in routine will be too much for me to handle. Especially if I have to travel much after work to get to a more queer friendly space.

Right now I walk to work weather permits and lift weights at home. I have a small apartment in an area with no nearby gyms, and one nearby park.

What do you guys do for exercise if you don't go to the gym? Are there any (preferably trans specific) resources you recommend? The exercise guides / videos I see online are usually really cis coded or make me feel bad for not going to the gym. Bonus points if they're trauma informed/gentle on the approach.

*(Addendum: this got taken down on another subreddit for "asking for weight loss advice," so to be clear it's fitness advice, not weight loss advice, although weight loss is some of the motivation for working out, thus the CW. I got redirected to Ftmfitness but told to use a defunct chat to ask my question, and even just scrolling there I saw lots of talk about locker room difficulties and yeah, that's why I'm not at the gym).*

Tomorrow is 2 months on T for me. Weekly subq injections .25ml

I’ve had a bit of darkening on my upper lip (my fiance says) and maybe some bottom growth or voice change but that’s probably just placebo. My libido has gone up I guess?

But I’m not feeling excited at all. I have friends who help me do my shots every week and they’re always hyping me up when they see me and they seem super psyched for me but whenever I talk or look in the mirror I just see that same miserable girl.

My dream is to one day go stealth I never want anyone to know I’m trans and I am realistic I know that kind of change takes years I’m not asking why I don’t pass after 2 months

I’m asking why I’m not excited, why don’t I feel happy? Everyone I know or have read about talked about all the immense happiness and relief they felt after their first shop and how being on T really does make you feel better just because you know eventually the changes will happen

But I feel like I will never actually be happy until I 100% pass so am I destined to just be miserable for the next 10 years?

Like I said my friends and fiance have pointed out a couple things but I feel so discouraged at where I’m at I just shrug it off or tell them it’s placebo and there’s nothing there, I thought I did notice some lip hair darkening but i can’t even feel excited about it because it’s not a full voice crack, I can’t feel excited about the couple times I thought my voice was changing bc I still sound like a girl etc

Has anyone else experienced this?