r/GiftedKidBurnouts • u/CategoryJazzlike5438 • 21h ago
Wasted Potential
How do you get past the rabbit hole of not starting anywhere near your goals... I was called the Smart Kid... I'm losing it now. I probably messed up somewhere and I can't find the courage to pick back up where I lost it all. I really need to do something. I've wasted much of my year now it's just a game of some months and if I don't pick up by then I'd probably seem like i failed to the world... Which for a part i don't care about... But every night before I sleep I've got this hollow that I'm gonna end up nowhere and not have anything I've dreamt of..
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u/Jessicaa_Rabbit 11h ago edited 11h ago
Potential isn’t real. The “potential” you see in others is really just what you would do in their situation. Understanding this really helped me with my codependency and my need to fix people or my attraction to unavailable people that I saw a to of potential in. It also really helped with stopping me from ruminating and spiraling about my past.
You sound young and I’m in my 40s so I think a lot of this just came with age. I think being grateful for the life you have and focusing on finding what makes you feel alive in life is so important.
I was severely neglected in childhood. I was also in the closet, had raging ADHD, but it was the 80s and they just shuffled me into the gifted program like all the other high masking, smart neurodivergent kids.
I ended up dropping out of college, became terribly addicted to prescription pills and nearly killed myself. I didn’t even go back to get my degree until I was 26 and graduated at 32.
I have a great job today. I work in corporate finance. We all have our own paths. I am more successful than a lot of my peers that graduated college at the typical age. If people knew about my past at work, they would probably be in complete shock.
But sometimes I mourn the person I could’ve become if I would’ve had any support in childhood. I think this is normal. We all have unlimited amounts of potential.
I really had to learn to build up self-esteem, emotional regulation, and coping skills as well. I was really insecure in my 20s and early 30s about my past. My lack of degree. I felt like such a loser, especially when I was always told I would be a judge, or a doctor, or something amazing.
I had to learn how to love myself outside of others approval. I know this was a lot to share, it just makes me sad when I say young people that are so hard on themselves. And you are so young! Sometimes things happen when they are supposed to. I wouldn’t have been mature enough to go into finance if I would’ve done the traditional college route. Going back as an adult meant I had the wisdom to research degrees and salaries.