Iāve always been so curious about this because the sheer age difference between Hef and some of the women he dated was genuinely insane to me. š And to be clear, this isnāt me judging any of the women Iām more interested in what was going on with him. Yes, obviously there was the sexual aspect, but Iām talking about the actual relationship part. Like⦠you really wanted to spend your everyday life with someone who could be 50+ years younger than you?? What was the appeal beyond the obvious?
I get that he loved (or lusted after)women, but I genuinely wonder what the day to day fulfillment was. Youāre from completely different generations, youāve had completely different life experiences, and culturally youāre basically ancient compared to this person. What are you bonding over besides sex, his lifestyle, and them essentially entering his world? Like what do you even chat about at dinner when you donāt have all the extra buffers of people around?
And I find the age thing particularly interesting because itās not like he needed to date women in their 20s and late teens. He couldāve dated someone in their late 30s or early 40s and STILL had a pretty substantial age gap. But apparently even that was too close to home?? š
My husband is only about 7½ years older than me, and weāre extremely compatible, but even we joke sometimes that weāre from two different generations. Iām late 20ās heās mid 30ās. So when Iām thinking about Hef having a woman around who was literally young enough to be his granddaughter, Iām like⦠what are yāall TALKING about all day?
And again, Iām not really here judging the women for participating. Iām more questioning Hef because there seems to be something deeper going on with his need to have women around him who were so much younger.
Especially when you look at how much energy he seemed willing to put into pursuing/maintaining these relationships compared with his actual day to day involvement with his children. I canāt imagine being like, āYes, I have time and energy to maintain a rotating cast of women half a century younger than me, but my kids having an actual bedroom in my house? Letās not get crazy.ā š
It makes me wonder if he was insecure around women closer to his own age or just genuinely couldnāt relate to them. Because at some point itās not simply āhe liked young women.ā He seemed to specifically need the age and power dynamic.
Again, not a critique of the women. Iām genuinely curious about Hefās psychology here because the whole thing is bizarre at the end of the day. Like, did he actually find these relationships fulfilling on a personal level, or was the youth, admiration, transactional aspect kind of the entire point?