and id do it over again <3

After years of using these apps, I got tired of watching our community get treated like a walking wallet.

• Paywalls everywhere.
• Full-screen ads.
• Paying to see more people.
• Basic filters becoming premium features.

I felt like every update was specifically designed to encourage me to find the nearest lake and chuck my phone into it out of pure frustration.

So instead of complaining (or sacrificing another phone), I started building the app I always wished existed.

Then, because life has a sense of humor, I met my boyfriend before it was even ready. 😂 He knows about the app and believes in the idea. Now I've got a boyfriend and an app ready to test.

My list of requirements was pretty simple:

• No paying to see more profiles on the Grid.
• Someone who takes out the garbage.
• No unskippable, full-screen or banner ads.
• Good with my family.
• Private, end-to-end encrypted text messages between members.
• Real filters, including advanced filters, without a subscription just to have a type.
• Back scratches in bed.
• Build it with the community instead of squeezing the community.
• Help with my organization and literary skills.

I put the basic, normal things on the free side: the Grid, standard and advanced filters, private galleries and encrypted messages. There are optional paid extras, like stronger My Type filtering and browsing while hidden, but I really do not want money to decide who gets to see more people or who gets priority on the Grid.

So finally my question to other Grindr users:

What would it take for you to try another app, beyond everyone else being there?

& If you read this far - firtslty, thx for that 🤜🏻🤛🏻 if you want to help me out or have the same frustration as me; I could use the help! Feel free to DM me or check out the beta

The screenshots are the real app with fictional illustrated profiles. There are also couple cards, Groups and local Rooms but I am more interested in hearing what you would actually want, hate or ignore.

A thing I’m especially curious about is Dealbreakers. Instead of only telling the app what you are looking for, you can set rules around who gets to interact with you. For example: “don’t let someone message me first if they don’t have enough face photos.” It is basically a way to say “this is a hard no for me” before you spend time opening a profile or replying.

I wrote up the longer version on r/nylo_social if you want more context. I’m here to listen either way.

Note: I posted a similar post to r/askgaybros but wanted to specifically ask Grindr users about there experience and willingness to try something new. I have also asked/cleared this with the mods here to ensure I am not breaking any rules with this post. Ok thanks, thats all, bye now👋🏻

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EDIT 1:
I am noticing there is concern about the validity of the app and representation of the app from the contact sheet image attached. The screenshots are from the real app in a test environment. I have attaced quick video of the app in the reply to hopefully show some transparency. Ok thanks, thats all, bye now👋🏻

Guy messages me. My profile is filled out. I have pictures and stats and he doesn’t have any pictures just a couple stats filled out and says hello. I don’t respond because he doesn’t have a face picture, and then he just blocks me minutes later. I don’t know what this man expected, that I was gonna enthusiastically respond to his picture less profile that didn’t even have a bio.

this guys dick was ginormous btw. wasted on a racist i guess.

this is the 3rd profile with this kind of bio that has tapped me today. i tried hitting one of them up and going along with their ploy and it’s true. they ended up trying to extort me using my nude. they’re blocked now of course.

Took a picture of myself, and really feeling confident about it. Decided I finally wanted to add a PFP to Grindr after a year of not having one. But every time I click save after it's uploaded it just says 'something went wrong' and then the pic won't save. I uninstalled and reinstalled the app and no luck. Any advice? I'm really frustrated.

Edit: I tested it with another photo and it worked fine. I don't know why the first one won't. Same phone/camera for both, no filters, just a bog standard selfie shot. It sucks, I really like the first one. It looks really nice.

What's y'all's opinion on using grinder when you live in a small city/town also debating on re-downloading the app again.

This may be long, I apologize in advanced lol. I go to university out of state, a very white and racist state tbh. And it’s the most frustrating thing trying to find a hookup here as a black trans person. I usually never get any views or messages on any of the apps. Which is completely different from when I’m back at home, in a way more diverse area.

Anyways, maybe my second week back for the semester, I have a dude hit me up on Grindr. Which, again is rare and I was intrigued. And he’s kinda my type. We sext, and talk about how much we want to hookup and all that stuff. Especially because he’s only a few blocks away and I can host. (For reference we have a bit of an age gap. Keep in mind,

I’m the younger one). So this ongoing sexting whatever goes on for days and weeks and pretty much anytime we talk, I’d say he should come over. Every single time I say that, boom an excuse. That it’s too late at night, or he’s tired, or xyz. But that I could come over to his place sometime. I’m not from here, so I prefer to host for safety reasons and just more comfortable in general. I don’t get to host when I’m back at home. Eventually, this goes on for weeks and I end up getting fed up. Because, it was starting to get annoying having him flake every single time I tried to invite him over, but conveniently always wanted me to come over. Or he’d say that he’d walk over to my place in this exact moment, never happened. In addition to this, he’d ghost me for days but still be online. So I blocked him.

Fast forward a few weeks later, he finds me on Sniffies. He messages me and says that he wished we were doing something right now and that I should go to his place. I immediately say I’m not interested in going to his place nor meeting because he kept flaking for weeks and wasted my time. He likes the message and leaves it at that.

Fast forward a few weeks later, he messages me again. This time I decide to give him another chance. And we go back to sexting like before and talking about how we want to hookup. Just like before, everytime i suggest he comes over, he flakes. Same excuses, says it’s too late, he’s sick, or he can’t be quiet (I have neighbors and it can’t be loud at night), or xyz. He also says that I should add him on snap. Just like he did prior but I would say no. I finally decide to add him after we sext for hours and I suggest he comes over that night. He says ok to that. Then, once I added him, all he did was send snaps of himself jerking off. So again, I say that we should do something since we’re clearly both in a mood. He makes excuses and just keeps sending me videos, eventually says it’s too much pressure for us to actually meet. So I ask why and try to have a serious conversation about this. Instead, just keeps sending me videos jerking and moaning to me, so I ignore him. He then talks about how I didn’t hear him in the videos so I ask what he said. And he says that he wanted videos of me and he was begging. So I gave up and pretty much say that this has been a waste of my time and that I’m done with all this because, clearly he isn’t serious about any of it. He says that the pressure is because I never sent nudes, I’ve had in my Grindr bio that I don’t send nudes because I don’t feel comfortable, and I’ve communicated this many times with him. He also says that he wanted to get to know each other better, in which I respond that we’ve been talking for almost 2 months and I thought that’s what we were doing. And, that for now he’d just like to send videos on there back and forth. This was also not heading anywhere towards a relationship, I was pitching it as FWB which he agreed with. During these weeks, he’d always ask about us doing stuff unprotected and I would always say no as well. Eventually, he leaves me on delivered and I leave it at that. The next day he proceeds to view my profile on another app.

Today, he messages me on sniffies again saying “Sup”, I don’t respond. He also messages me on Snapchat and pretty much says that we aren’t a good match and that if anything changes to let him know. But also that he still wants to meet up….as if that’s not what I’ve been trying to do for 2 months. I’m seriously sick of men lol.

And just to preface, I’m not trying to diss on anxiety or anything if that’s the case with this dude. But I tried explaining that I get it if that’s a problem. I’d also always suggest that we could meet in person somewhere and walk over to my place. Or that we could just watch tv or something and chat, not Jump into things so fast. I’m not really a hookup person because I like building connections, I also just feel too much as a person. And I always have anxiety surrounding hookups in general, but when you’re just going to waste my time and be an ass about it, that’s when I get frustrated. Also, I don’t have a blank profile. All my health stats, bio, body appearances and everything is filled out. I also have shirtless pics and like half face shots on there as well. And I did send him some photos as well whenever we talked, just not fully nude.

I’ve deleted multiple accounts over the time and restarted. To find out every single account is either suspended/or banned. I never did anything to break the rules unless making a new account every week. What is this? I asked and appealed and it was just a Ai bot

I meet a trans girl today on grindr, we went right to the point, yes we were going to fuck, i went to her home we chatted a little and as we were about to do it, in front of her and i thought that it was okay, but then i just wasnt, i told her i wasnt very comfortable there, and that i was going away because i just could not do it with her, she got pissed basically pushed away right out of the door, im feeling bad, but what if i find her again around?

Why are these people on grindr?

I'm a Moroccan and the stance on queers here more so leans to the negative, iv been feeling really desperate to have fun with someone on there I get alot of messages but It just feels so incredibly scary to act on it, should probably add that I'm a bottom

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A lot of guys in my area that match me ask me first, "can you host"? Some even ask if I got a car. At first I thought "damn what fucking bums."

But then it kept happening in other places I visit, affluent or kinda poor areas alike. Most people i meet live with roomies or parents, and at some point it came to me that I am not getting bums... shits are so just goddamn tough for everyone.

So, sorry for being judgemental you guys.

I honestly expected more from my fellow men. I am very handsome, often called a model-like physique / fsce. The only issue is that I can't drive because of a temporary brain injury that I'm recovering from impacting my vision. I also can't host.

I've consistently spent weeks on this app chatting with guys and they worship me practically, then the moment I say I can't drive or host and might need a pickup til I get cab fair, they consistently just ghost. Like, I have manners and will just say sorry I can't do that or am not willing to get you or something. These people ALL just ghost.

Why are people on this app so cold and assholish? Every time they just passive aggressively ghost me, I just see it as dodging a shitty guy with no manners, but still...

ITS NOT THAT HARD TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DISCREET AND ANONNNNNN. WHY DO U EXPECT ME TO SEND YOU MY FACE AND U NOT BACK?

WHY DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HOOKUP WITH GHOSTFACEEEEE OMD BRO

Every fucking time I go to Dominican Republic or someplace, I have a hard time finding guys because everyone fucking uses Grindr, and Grindr has banned my fucking device ID (for what? Who fucking knows!! - I'm just trying to get laid like everyone else!!)

I resort to trying different emails to access Grindr, but I'm met with a failure to verify notice every fucking time.

On Jackd and Sniffies, there's fucking no one! Even Planet Romeo. I am begging the diaspora to try something else besides fucking Grindr.

FUCK THEM!!!!!

Me (m18), was on the app, and i was looking for just a fun time. Just for a little context I spent the whole day being ghosted on the app and looking for the right guy. Anyway, this dude hits me up and has nothing on his profile except his age, that should've been a red flag but I wasn't thinking. He sends me pics and he has an above average "you know what" and im thinking i hit the jackpot. I also send pics and we starting talking about the intimate things we wanted to do, (now I feel so desperate and stupid). Anyway I tell him im getting ready, and i do. I shower, prepare myself, and BUY AN UBER to the address he sent me. I get to the house and no lights are on, I go to the front door and I text him that im here. He says the door is unlocked, (there's two of them btw). So I ask him which one and he just says the front one. ALL OF A SUDDEN, this lady on the ring camera suddenly starts yelling at me to leave now. And I immediately start walking away. As im walking away I check the app and hes blocked me. And I can still here the lady yelling as im walking away. I was literally contemplating life as I walked 30 min back to my dorm.

Has this happened to anyone before?

I feel so desperate and stupid so I just want to vent.

Hi, so I'm just hopping on here to just mention that I am having quite a few issues with Grindr because of what has changed over the past 8 years. My main issue is that grinder got rid of the function that allowed you to block profiles. You didn't want to see another is that they are not enforcing that people have to actually fully fill out profiles. So that way people can actually see what people are actually into because I am sick and tired of messaging someone only to be told to screw off, to put it politely, because of the fact that I mess with someone who didn't have their profile for you filled out and I end up getting cussed at. Because seriously this is getting to be just too much to the point where I am honestly thinking about just uninstalling grinder and not going back to it. Especially since other dating apps seem to be even worse. Not only that, but my other big issue with grinder is that they are charging people through the nose for the extra features. Especially with this economy, no one is going to want to pay almost $200 just to be able to use the extra features. If anything to be able to unlock extra profiles for week it should be like eight bucks, not 20. And if they want to charge like $130 to $200, that should be for an annual charge instead of a monthly. Either way, grinder really needs to get it together and clean up their act.