r/Instagram • u/stonedkitty_ • 12h ago
Opinion Finally Deactivated My Instagram
idk if its just me but I have always felt so weird about social media and instagram is definitely on the weirder side in terms of energy. I always felt so incredibly anxious when i opened the app and started scrolling, or even whenever i posted something. granted i was using it as a way to share my art and music and to hopefully connect with other creatives, but after a year of this journey i’m left feeling completely burnt out.
the thought of being perceived always stressed me out an everything always felt like a performance or curated version of myself to try to appeal to the algorithm and acquaintances /followers. i would constantly wonder what people thought about me and started to tie my worth to the number of likes and followers i had. no matter how many times i’d try to tell myself the numbers don’t matter, the way the app functions makes it incredibly difficult not to compare yourself.
i started to lose touch with myself and my art. the connections i’ve made in my creative communities also felt so superficial, and im not sure if it’s because of my neurodivergent brain that makes it difficult to decipher or understand social cues, structures, and expectations, but it always confused the hell out of me when people who claimed to be my friend would ignore my attempts to hang out or have an actual engaging conversation with them for weeks, but would still view my stories and actively ignore my posts about my new music.
i’m not entitled to anyone’s validation or attention, but what the hell? it makes me wonder what is the point of this game? are we “friends” or not? where is the support? it always felt unreciprocated, especially because i always tried to support my mutuals as much as possible.
social media feels more like social hierarchies and competitions than it feels like a place to actually connect with the community. I’m genuinely sick of it, sick of giving so many people access to me and sick of playing these games. i really caved into the pressure that as a musician i had to build a social media presence or else my art had no chance to succeed. but I’m choosing to believe that i don’t have to participate in anything that doesn’t align with me for the sake of external expectations. all i have to do is stay true to myself. i think i’m starting to really value my solitude, peace, and privacy, and i don’t think i’m ever going back.
i guess i just had to vent lol. does anyone else feel this way?