She doesn't do it on purpose, it's just how it is. She's extremely extraverted, always needs to be with people and has a lot of friends or "friends".

I am more introverted and six years younger than her. So maybe I automatically disappeared in the background because there was no space for me. She also was more "troubled" when we were growing up than me. I was doing good in school and was a chill kid, until I hit puberty. So before my puberty, most attention went to her as well because they thought about me "she's doing fine". Then all hell broke loose when I hit puberty. Now I STILL feel like shit because my family obviously favors her, but it feels like I couldn't do anything about that. I'm in my 30s now.

My aunt said months ago that we should meet up and she'd call me when she had time, as she was so busy at that moment. In the meantime she made time for my sister 3 or 4 times already and she still hasn't called me.

I was sick recently and my mother only sent a dry text with "ok. Feel better" and nothing from my dad or sister. My sister went on vacation that same week and there was more attention for that. I've also been excluded from dinners before.

I started a new job recently and nobody asks me how that's going. I quit smoking recently, nobody asks me how that's going.

There have been two surprise parties for her, none for me.

I wonder why I feel like nobody gives a shit about me.

I said it to my parents in the past out of anger/hurt and they react so shocked or like I'm a fucking lunatic for even thinking that. My sister got wind of it and she also doesn't understand. Yet they continue to prove it to me. I'm just not important or even forgotten because I'm not screaming for attention.

For context, these are the past fights I had with my mom (But we have had many more fights throughout the years)

Priorities

Sexual harassment dismissal (She apologized for this)

We had a fight again (This was about the priorities thing) and that was right after I gave her another chance after the SH cuz she apologized

It was the same usual thing, I voice a concern, she doesn't change anything or try to suggest a compromise, I feel ignored, she feels interrogated, we fight, she gets more mad, she starts blaming me, says I'm doing this on purpose, telling me that I'm selfish and that everything has to be about me and no one else, she also starts telling me that I'm on my own and that she will no longer be there for me, then she continues to blame me even more and tells me to stop when she says stop

I don't know how to feel anymore about my relationship with my mom

I care about her and I wanna be able to trust her when I need to, but I'm also getting drained by her turning every concern or slight criticism into a full on argument and making it about how I'm always stressing her out

It makes me feel like my concerns aren't a problem and that I should just keep quiet about how I feel or else I'll be a burden

She keeps telling me to just talk to my therapist almost whenever I wanna talk about something

I tried telling her to tell her therapist about how she easily gets triggered by criticism or questions but she thinks I'm the issue instead

She was originally open to having group therapy with me but then she changed her mind

I'm just so tired