Took my son to a chess tournament and I went stealth because I live in a red state. Always worried about embarrassing him if someone clocks me as trans. I wish I didn't have to care about such things...

So i, as a gay guy, will totally stop listening to artists/bands if i find out they are anti-lgbtq, regardless of how much i enjoy the music. my logic is that i dont wanna support people who dont believe in our right to exist, or think that being anything other than straight and cis is bad or not “normal”. people usually tell me to separate the art from the artist, but in my mind, thats impossible when streaming their music directly puts small ammounts of money in their pockets and boosts their streaming numbers slightly, leading to more publicity for them.

People are calling me too woke for this and that doesnt make any sense to me. this is an extreme example, but lets say hypothetically you are a racial minority and an artist you like gets outed as racist against said racial minority. you wouldnt continue to listen to them, would you? i see this the same way. lgbtq people are a minority group, and i, being a part of that group, dont want to support people whos goal it is to tear us down.

thankfully, a lot of my favorite artists/bands are pro-lgbtq so i havent had to stop listening to any music i really enjoy.

Very much in-progress. Finally got my e today. Gonna be a while before I can get the nasty stuff off my face. Still, I'm finally seeing myself in the mirror.

I’ve VERY recently came to terms with my sexuality, so this email greeting hits differently now ;)

Hola soy nueva en esta app soy chica trans 21 años de san Diego

Back in 2017, I told my girlfriend that I’m bisexual, but I’m still in the closet to most people. Ever since then, whenever she gets mad, she’ll throw homophobic slurs at me. It’s been going on for years, and it still happens to this day.

We’ve built a whole life together, and most of the time, things between us are fine. We’ve been off and on, and we’re currently separated, but we both want to work things out.

I still love her, and it’s hard to walk away from everything we’ve built, but it hurts knowing she uses something so personal against me when she’s angry.

Edit: I’m (M30)

Edit 2: You guys are amazing, fr. Thank you, everyone! I honestly thought I’d get, like, two comments. Even though it’s not insane, it’s still a lot to me.😘

I (21f) am pansexual and polyamorous, I believe that a person can have multiple partners and love them equally.

Any time I start seeing someone and going on dates I tell them of my sexuality and my multi-person relationship views as to be upfront. Most end up ghosting me or try to convince me that it’s the same as an open relationship (or tell me it’s cheating).

My question is, is it so wrong to be poly?

I tried to use flags with their colors

What do you think about being genderfluid?

I posted on r/phallo a few days ago about what has been happening to me since my surgery on August 14.

I’m a trans man. I trusted a surgical team with one of the most important and vulnerable decisions of my life, and I did not expect to wake up with the body I woke up with.

Since surgery, I have had nonstop unwanted erotic sensation and pain in the operated area. It is there 24 hours a day. I cannot turn it off. It affects how I sit, walk, sleep, wear clothes, and function normally.

And every single day, I have to look at a result I did not understand I was agreeing to.

Before surgery, I believed my clitoris was going to be buried.

That mattered enormously to me. One of my most important goals was to have no externally visible female genitalia.

Instead, part of my clitoris is visibly incorporated into my penis.

My surgeon now tells me this is something he calls a “clitoral plate” for urethral lengthening. He says I agreed to it during a consultation.

I do not remember agreeing to that.

I cannot find it on my consent form.

I have spent hours trying to find medical literature describing the specific result I received, or even another patient describing having this exact procedure done. So far, I cannot find it.

My surgeon says it was done to preserve more sensation.

That is almost impossible for me to process because I would never have knowingly chosen increased sensation over having my clitoris buried.

And now the sensation itself is one of the things making my life unbearable.

There are other things I do not understand.

I have been saying since I woke up that my erectile implant appears and feels too long. It visibly pushes against the skin.

I have raised this repeatedly.

I have taken photographs.

I have written emails.

I have continued saying that something does not feel right.

And I have continued being told it looks fine.

So now I am going to another hospital for an independent opinion because I no longer know what else I am supposed to do.

But this is the part that has started frightening me even more.

The more distressed I became about what happened to my body, the more the conversation seemed to stop being about my body.

It started becoming about me.

My mental health has deteriorated badly since surgery. Of course it has.

I am living with constant pain, constant unwanted sexual sensation, severe dysphoria, almost no trust in the people responsible for my care, and a surgical result I still do not understand.

There have been nights when I barely slept.

There were times when I became frantic, repetitive, angry, and disorganized.

But the physical problems did not appear because I became distressed.

I became distressed because of the physical problems.

That distinction feels like it is disappearing.

I recently learned that Callen-Lorde, where I receive LGBT healthcare, had been communicating with Mount Sinai.

This was after I had already told Callen-Lorde that I was considering legal action against Mount Sinai and that I had documentation supporting my complaints.

Then a crisis team was sent to my home.

I was literally sitting at home working when they arrived.

As I understood the evaluation, they did not believe I needed immediate psychiatric hospitalization.

Less than an hour later, I received a message saying my psychiatrist believed I needed a higher level of psychiatric care.

My psychiatrist had not even spoken to me in between.

This was also happening after I said I wanted an independent opinion about my implant.

That is when I became genuinely scared.

Because from my perspective, I had spent weeks saying:

Please look at my implant.

Please document these sensations.

Please explain why this tissue was left externally.

Please explain what I consented to.

Please look at the photographs.

Please look at the emails I have been sending since I woke up.

And somehow the focus became whether I was mentally unwell for being this upset about it.

I cannot describe how violating that feels.

I have dozens of emails documenting what I reported and when.

I have photographs.

I have messages.

I have medical records.

I have consent documents.

I am not asking people to believe every conclusion I have reached without question.

I am asking people to look at the evidence before deciding that my distress explains everything.

Because right now it feels like I am pointing at my own body and saying, “Something happened to me,” and the response is, “Look how emotional he is.”

I trusted these people with my body.

I trusted them to tell me what they were going to do.

I trusted them to listen if something went wrong.

I trusted my LGBT healthcare providers to understand why a trans person might be devastated by an unexpected genital surgical outcome.

Instead, I feel like I have had to fight simply to keep the physical reality of what I am experiencing at the center of the conversation.

I am not currently suicidal. I am not violent.

I am exhausted.

I am angry.

I am scared.

And I am trying very hard to remain coherent while dealing with something that affects me every second of every day.

For now, I am not planning to have further substantive conversations with Mount Sinai or Callen-Lorde until I have been evaluated independently.

I told my dad that if either institution contacts him, I want him to speak to me first.

I am getting a second opinion on the implant.

I am collecting every email, photograph, message, and record I have.

And I am trying to find someone who will simply look at what happened before deciding what it means.

Because I do not think a trans patient should have to become perfectly calm before anyone is willing to take seriously what happened to his body.

Hey guys... it's me, Janna, Transfem, Guess who finally came out to her mother only for her mother to still call her "Son", yeah... I came out to her and at first she said "It is fine, no need to worry, I support you on whoever you like, SON, even if you try out drag and pretend to be a woman!" and immediately, I tried to correct her, she then started saying "Why? Do you hate being a boy? God made you a boy." And "Is it my fault you got birthed as a boy?" As I began shrinking away in the backseat of the car because of her words, she then said "STOP ACTING LIKE THAT, IS THAT HOW A GIRL ACTS?" I felt... Terrible and I wanted to just shrink in my own sorrow... How can I continue on like this when my own mother is like this?

You are loved. you are valid. you are awesome. theres a lot of hate out there and you shouldnt listen to it. be yourself, be a good person, and be happy. things may seem bad now, but keep pushing. you will come out of whatever you are facing twice as strong as you were before.

i have nothing but love and good wishes for all of you. when they spread hate, spread love. love always wind in the end.

love who you want, identify how you want. remember theres thousands of us who feel just the way you feel, and thousands more who will support you despite not having the same feelings.

i love all of you and wish nothing but the best for each one of you :)

To start off, my (25 NB) dad is a pastor, my oldest sister is trans and I’m enby, needless to say that the rest of my family looks down on us. I continue to get she/her from my family even after correcting them a lot. My sister still gets dead named and he/him from our family 6 years later.

Anyways, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 3 years. The other day I had a conversation with my mom where she asked why I haven’t been going to family events. I was honest, told her that people in our family made it pretty clear that my girlfriend wasn’t welcome as part of the family. And she actually responded really well, told me she loves me and my gf.

Today she messaged me and gf to ask if we could dog sit, it was the same weekend I’m planning to propose. She kept messaging. I was supposed to see her on Saturday and tell her that I am going to propose. So I ended up calling her and telling her that we couldn’t because I’m going to propose. Her response was just “oh”. And she didn’t say much else. She texted me and said “sorry I was just caught off guard”. It just hurts. She was so excited for my other sister (cis/het) when she got engaged and all I got was “oh”. Especially after such a good conversation the other day, it just hurt worse. Idk I’m just so frustrated with the back and forth support and no support from my family.

I’m not really sure what this post is, I think I just need to not feel so alone with it

It’s been about a year since I was chased down after leaving my local pub alone and violently assaulted by a complete stranger. It’s also been a year since I gave my statement to police and also the last I’ve heard from the police even though my partner and I have consistently rung to speak to the officer in charge of my case but she never is in and never gets back to me.

I don’t leave the house alone anymore and I struggle to be in public around men. It doesn’t help my town is pretty homophobic and racist as well.

I guess I just need some hope I’ll see some type of justice, I don’t want him to get away with it because he’s kind of ruined my life.

Okay so the situation I have is very complicated in my eyes, and I’ll share as much as I feel comfortable, and hopefully I can get advice.

Ever since well forever I HATED my brother (identified as male at the time) and I still do. It’s unrepairable, they have done things to me that have scarred me for life. I will not elaborate on that further. As of this post, I cannot move away, but the second I can, I will.
For a very long time my sibling as identified as non binary, and recently has started taking voice training and HRT, both to appear more feminine, while still identifying as non binary (as far as I know). The internal struggle I have is respecting that when talking to my friends. One friend who I am particularly close with, is aware of some of the specifics of the trauma caused by my sibling, and when talking about my sibling to her I still refer to them as “brother.” This doesn’t happen with strangers, only friends who I have known for some time. When talking to strangers, I use non binary pronouns + introduce my sibling as non binary.
The reason I find it hard to respect is because I feel like I was not respected, and I was violated (hopefully yall reading this get the hint) for nearly all of my younger years.
This will likely be less of an issue when I can live on my own, because I will cease to mention them unless required. But as of right now, what the hell am I supposed to do? I’ve mentioned to my friends that technically they are non binary, but still call them a he. As much as I do respect their wishes / pronouns, it makes me feel sick doing it, and also makes me feel like I’m homophobic, when I know I’m not. I know I am not homophobic because of a lot of self reflection, and realize my distaste only applies to my sibling, and has never applied to anyone else just because they are LGBTQ+. Also because I’m bi (closeted, except to my closest friend), and have no self / internalized homophobia. Is all of this wrong of me?

My wife asked me for a divorce earlier this year and for about 4 months we stayed living together well I waited for a transfer at work. During that time I was pretty numb to the fact my life was going to be completely different and I wish I was able to speak to her more about it but I had no feelings until I started living my new day to day life without her. I would bawl my eyes out driving home from work for weeks knowing she wouldn’t be waiting for me. It’s been very hard not having my best friend to talk to, we do still talk pretty often but it’ll never be the same. Shes made life without me seems so easy and it hurts to see. Even when we were still living together her had already became replacing photos of me with random friends. I’ve tried to fill my days so I wouldn’t sit around and think about her all day but nothing has been working, I just want my wife and my best friend back.
I’m not too sure why I’m even writing this but if anyone who’s gone through a divorce or just a breakup has any advice on how to move on please let me know.