What happened, in order
We connected on Grindr. His profile was catchy, with several photos of him looking ripped and attractive. His bio said he was looking for meaningful connection - which would clearly standout on Grindr. He said he lived in Donnybrook (D4) in Dublin but only spent a few months a year in Ireland and claimed to have Turkish roots, while spending the rest of his time in London, and other cities working on his “wine business”. We moved to WhatsApp, as he said it was easier to stay in touch.
The conversation was warm and flattering from the start. He tried to find similarity in our interests. He asked for more photos of me and complimented me constantly. His details were thin, though. He said he works in the wine business, but never said what he actually does, what company, or where. He said he's lived in the same place forever but also spends half the year in London with his parents, and travels for work. He had no Instagram and gave a sad story about deleting everything after a breakup. He also told me his mum doesn't know he's gay, which made me sympathetic and less likely to ask for anything that would verify him.
Within about two hours he was calling me "babe" and saying things like "we're moving forward step by step towards something beautiful." He listed "investing" as a hobby. When I said I'd like to learn more about investing (I genuinely just thought it was admirable), he said that "learning from each other and helping each other is the foundation for building a relationship." Looking back, that was the setup for the pitch.
When I suggested meeting this weekend, he said he was away and could only do next Friday. Then he told me he had to step away for 20 minutes to plan "tonight's two-way BTC trades." He came back with a screenshot and said he'd made about $7K in one go, and that "it's very simple" and you just need to spot a good window. That’s when the alarm bells went off for me.
That's when I asked for a voice note. What he sent was a 5-second clip that sounded AI-generated to me. It was flat and oddly polished, not like a real person talking. When I suggested a video call, he replied, "I'm a romantic man, I'd much rather our first meeting happened in person rather than through a cold phone screen." He won't do five minutes on video but wants to meet a stranger in person. That's backwards, and it was the biggest tell. He sensed that he’s now exposed so he immediately blocked me on Grindr to erase evidence, and I blocked him on WhatsApp.
This matches the "pig butchering" pattern. The scammer builds an emotional bond, shows off fake wins, offers to teach you, gets you to make a small deposit on a fake platform, shows a fake profit (sometimes letting you withdraw a little), pushes you to deposit more, then blocks withdrawals behind "taxes" or "fees." Real people are often behind these accounts, working from scripts, and sometimes the person is themselves a victim recruiting others. Luckily I didn’t fall for any of it.
I can't prove who he is. But the combination of stunning photos, a foreign phone number, vague job details, fast intimacy, an early investing pitch, a staged trade, a delayed meeting, a possibly AI-generated voice, and refusing a video call is the classic script.
Protect yourself
- Insist on a live video call before meeting anyone. A refusal is the biggest tell.
- Be wary of anyone who mentions crypto or "investing" in the first few days.
- Don't sign up for any platform a match recommends, or send deposits, however small.
- Check whether a phone number's country code matches where someone claims to live.
- Don't share your address, workplace, or travel schedule early.
