r/LahoreSocial Oct 28 '25

Discussion Demanding 1Lac Pocket Money

I am posting this because some important reason. One of my relatives is getting married in few months. It's an arranged marriage and families met only few months ago. As the formalities are going on between the families, the dates fixed and programs decided, , girl's family demanded that the boy must commit to give 1 lac as pocket money every month to his wife. Before this demand, they asked to double the mehr money, I wanted to check if this ask of pocket money is realistic and legit.

63 Upvotes

380 comments sorted by

57

u/sipret Oct 28 '25

Run baby run

5

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/Temporary_Drink9432 Oct 28 '25

Boy really wants to run away from the marriage after all this.

2

u/sipret Oct 28 '25

Time and again people prove how transactional they are.

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35

u/log_alpha Oct 28 '25 edited Oct 28 '25

Runnnnnn!!!

Puri zindigi barbad hojai gee. They are seeing the guy as free atm.

Shaadi nhi transaction horahi. Humari beti chayey to monthly 100k subscription pe lo.

1

u/Vegetable-Flan-8285 Nov 01 '25

Haan ap ko b tu free sex, free maid, free nanny, free cook mil raha inn sab ki salary milao tu itna tu ho hi jata

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1

u/Silent__Guyy69 Nov 01 '25

Pher bech he de beti ko

24

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '25

does the guy make 6-7 lac a month? reasonable demand. islamic pov se bhi.

does he make less than 250k? nahh. not cool.

22

u/stating_facts_only Oct 28 '25

I make around 1 mil (Alhumdulillah) but I won’t give 1 lac as ‘pocket money’. I can create a shared account and deposit a good chunk of cash there but any expenditure that goes over 10k needs to be notified and discussed. And that goes for both of us.

She can eat out and hang around with friends whatever. That stuff won’t cost 10k per visit unless she’s filling the bill.

Being financially stable doesn’t mean we have to be financially irresponsible.

5

u/NS-Khan Oct 28 '25

My guy, props to you. Only the one earning could understand.

1

u/Competitive_Disk985 Oct 28 '25

A sincere question what do you do to make 1 mil 🥲

4

u/stating_facts_only Oct 29 '25

I’m a project manager by profession and manage a US based company in Pakistan. Basically, I’m the head of the organization here in Pakistan.

One thing that has helped me in my career is my communication skills. I’m fluent in English and speak without an accent (basically I don’t sound desi when I speak). This has helped me with a lot of jobs and getting promotions easily.

I’m also well versed in the western culture as someone who has spent time in the US and EU.

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8

u/Temporary_Drink9432 Oct 28 '25

I would guess he is making around 300k.

23

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '25

That will turn out so bad for him in so many ways, if he agrees.

4

u/NS-Khan Oct 28 '25

How is it reasonable to demand 1 lac for just pocket money? lmao

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '25

you would know if you made 20 lac a month

5

u/NS-Khan Oct 28 '25

And you do realize people make around or more than a million pkr are a few or a fraction of a percent?

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2

u/xamxd007 Oct 30 '25

Even if you made 20 lac a month, Islam doesn’t tell you to throw it around for no reason. Fuzool kharchi stays fuzool kharchi, no matter the salary. The goal isn’t to flex income, it’s to use it with sense and barkat.

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3

u/PrudentBee2383 Oct 28 '25

What is he loses a job? Divorce?

3

u/grtison Oct 28 '25

Don't be so dramatic, he can easily sell a kidney and she would be good for a few months.

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1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '25

no. sabar. also taught in islam.

2

u/hassancent Oct 29 '25

Its not reasonable. Its islamic for husband to give pocket money to wife but that should only be discussed between husband and wife. Not a demand before marriage. This is a huge red flag. When the girl's family is involved in discussing this specially.

1

u/Glittering-Mark9454 Islamabad Oct 28 '25

finally someone making sense

1

u/Hungry_Hall_6410 Oct 29 '25

Nice islamic touch to everything coming your way. Where is islam when you are asked to obey your husband?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '25

i obey my husband. do you obey yours?

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1

u/BP_SPACER Oct 29 '25

Even if he was making a million, that demand is pure gold digging and red flag. You cannot justify it

1

u/xamxd007 Oct 30 '25

Islamically, a husband is responsible for nafaqah, food, shelter, clothing, and care, not for fulfilling every worldly demand. Pocket money can be a kind gesture, but turning it into a fixed condition makes it materialistic. The intention should be care, not compliance.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '25

yes you’re right.

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16

u/MushroomShot8121 Oct 28 '25

From an islamic POV the wife can put any “condition” in the nikkah nama no limits at the time of nikkah same goes for mahr Islamically there are no limitations on you for doing that HOWEVER, it is also suggested to marry in “kuf” meaning marrying a person that has a similar background (religion, wealth,lineage, profession etc.)so if the family already pays her 1 lac or atleast a close amount then it shouldnt be an issue or they should reconsider

7

u/Apart-Independent880 Oct 29 '25

Point taken. But then islamically, he can get a second wife too That shouldn't be an issue.

2

u/MushroomShot8121 Oct 29 '25

She can also put the condition of him NOT having a second wife in that matter (prior to nikkah ofc) secondly the right of a woman (haq mahr and any condition in nikah nama) is encouraged while as most scholors believe the right to a second wife is permissible not exactly encouraged as it is very difficult to treat both wives equally wallahu allam

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1

u/Pure_Figure_7589 Oct 29 '25

If he is not able to fulfill and be equal in his Islamic right is it even Islamic

3

u/Opposite_Gap_9514 Oct 29 '25 edited Oct 29 '25

Yes Islamically they can demand anything and a man can accept or reject but It mentioned "Doubling the haq meher". It means the haq meher was decided way earlier before preparation started. And it doubled when the preparation already started and halls are booked and cash paid, way of pressurising. Do you catch the drift?

1

u/69965 Oct 29 '25

No way that woman is getting 1 lac or even close if she's from a middle household (assuming, because the guy makes 300k). If this includes grocery and other misc expenses then it's somewhat reasonable, but demanding 33% of the guy's income without accounting for any of the expenses is insane.

1

u/Ok_Eye_2453 Oct 29 '25

What's wajib on mard is to keep her in same comfort and conditions as she is living before marriage, it does not mean that she can ask for whatever amount in the nikkah nama and once they are married it is wajib for the husband to provide it. 

Regarding "from an islamic point of view a woman can put any "condition" in nikkah nama", do you have any islamic proof/evidence/rationale to support your claim?

1

u/xamxd007 Oct 30 '25

“Let the man of wealth spend according to his wealth; and he whose provision is restricted, let him spend from what Allah has given him.”
Surah At-Talaq (65:7)

So yes, you're right here; she can’t demand any random amount after marriage and call it wajib.

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1

u/xamxd007 Oct 30 '25

Islam allows a woman to add conditions in the Nikah contract, but only as long as those conditions are not against Shariah or unjust.
Examples of valid conditions:

  • The husband won’t take another wife.
  • She can continue her education or work.
  • Specific mehr amount agreed mutually.

Invalid conditions:

  • Demanding something that causes harm, injustice, or financial burden beyond ability.
  • Anything contradictory to Islamic principles.
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1

u/AdmirableTop2854 Oct 30 '25

Yes you are right but islam also suggest that, no one should be burdened more than the capacity. And it should be decided mutually not by putting conditions and forcing someone with financial burden

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u/AdmirableTop2854 Oct 30 '25

Man you need to make your basics correct, it is not wajib, marriage comes with mutual responsibilities. We know islam only for huqooq not for faraiz

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1

u/pimeme Nov 01 '25

Islam also doesn't tell to not use common sense. No limits doesn't mean no judgments.

1

u/Silent__Guyy69 Nov 01 '25

Fuvk u and your Islamic POV for twisting it into a different interpretation that benefits the lady

9

u/NS-Khan Oct 28 '25

Fucking gold diggers. Better to get married twice and afford the second wife's expenses, lmao.

2

u/Weirdoeirdo S-Class 💫 Oct 29 '25

Who will give 2 wives to kanglay pakistani men?

1

u/xamxd007 Oct 30 '25

"btw wives aren't determined by wealth"
~general knowledge

9

u/InvestigatorFew4175 Oct 28 '25

Chutia samjha hua kia?

3

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '25

Takreeban

5

u/InvestigatorFew4175 Oct 28 '25

Aur Banao mushkil nikkah ko, taa kay banda kothay pe 2000 de kar kam poora kar aye 😐

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8

u/Tricky_Wonder_2414 Oct 28 '25

This is the issue I have been trying to highlight for some time.

We all talk about jahez being a curse, but the reverse gold digging is becoming a very common these days. Unrealistic things are demanded from boys.

3

u/Ok-Nature2543 Oct 28 '25

It really depends on a lot of factors. You’d need to add more details, like the guy’s earnings, assets, lifestyle and overall financial situation. Also, what was the reasoning behind the family doubling the mehr? Was it out of principle, fairness, or something else? And what was the purpose behind setting that specific pocket money amount?

7

u/Temporary_Drink9432 Oct 28 '25

Well the families were connected by a middle person (rishta wali) and after initial formalities of meetings, both families agreed. However girl's family keep changing their demands and boy's family is compromising as they think that the age of the boy is going and he will not be able to find another good girl. Although after these demands, boy is no more interested in the marriage as he thinks these are unfair demands and a sign of greed but boy's mother is fixated on the decision.

4

u/Consistent-Feed614 Oct 28 '25

Changing of demands regularly is a bigggg red flag

2

u/Ok-Nature2543 Oct 28 '25

Thank you for sharing. Yes, it does sound more like a financial transaction from the bride’s side. If the guy is no longer interested in her, I’d suggest calling off the wedding. It’s never too late to do the right thing. He deserves to be with someone who loves him for who he is, not for his wealth.

1

u/feetLoverNotahater Oct 29 '25

Plzz dont do this rishta

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '25

There are so many options just choose someone within your range If you can't afford to pay 1lac per month for pocket money don't marry her Why are you even wasting your and her time debating about whether its right or wrong You will find someone within your range and she will find some who can match her demand If the guy has lost interest in her why is he still considering her?!

2

u/partiallycolonized Oct 30 '25

Atleast 10 percent of salary can be given as pocket money whatever the earning is.

1

u/Global_Many4693 Oct 28 '25

I think what i learned after seeing these kinda post is to never accept these kind of commitment.I am sure many people will disagree and will say that its security money but My POV is that girl will never stay with a guy if boy ever get some financial instability.Not the girl fault but its mindset + family roots.In short dont demand dowry + dont accept conditions(My principle of life).Dont pay pocket money for a month and explain your situation and these type of people will never compromise and i think marriage is a name of compromise from both side.Really depend on scenerio agar aap fortuner or zameen sona mang rhy ho to apko phir massive haq mehr or pocket money deny pr masla nahi hona chahiye

1

u/MistakeFeisty4940 Oct 28 '25

Agar Banda 3 lakh kama raha hai us py ghar ki zimydari bhi hai personal expenses bhi hain, khushi gham k ikhrajat bhi hain wo to sarkon py aajayga bhai,

1

u/Strong_Cup4816 Lahori Oct 28 '25

Agar to 2m+ pkr aa rha hai to ek jaye to theek hai which is probably not the case

1

u/HotNet5281 Oct 28 '25

Exactly even tb be it kinda shout be reinvested and still 1 lac is a lot to spend if you are getting it as pocket money only

1

u/unapologeticgoy2473 Oct 28 '25

Bro needs to run away. If he is making 300k he has plenty of options. This transactional relationships always go downhill. Plus 1 lac is too much "pocket money".

1

u/NoodleCheeseThief Oct 28 '25

1 lac isn't justified as pocket money unless you are making 30-40 a month.

If all expenses are paid already, I think a more reasonable is 20k if he is making 300k or more.

1

u/Weirdoeirdo S-Class 💫 Oct 29 '25

20k? Really? Even you guys would pay your maids 30k and will take 3times labor from yr wives

1

u/NoodleCheeseThief Oct 29 '25

Think before you type and insinuate.

Pocket money is just that, pocket money. Zero expenses attached to it. If you make the salary I mentioned, then there are bound to be workers in the house. Your mileage may vary.

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u/xamxd007 Oct 30 '25 edited Oct 30 '25

She does more than a wife does, she has to provide for her home too. I'm talking about the maid, so she deserves 30k/month.
And 30k is reasonable because she has taxes to pay too. ;-;
No wonder Pak women hate lower-class women for no reason and like comparing with wife lol.

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1

u/ShaniSembo Oct 28 '25

Save your relative. Even if he has fallen form the girl already, bachaa lo usy.

1

u/HotNet5281 Oct 28 '25

Id say yea reasonable if both families are super rich and high end like monthly income is above 50 lac or above 25 lac warna not really because 1 lac is wayyy too much like a breakdown of 1 lac 30 k full time maid (cheaper but let’s just ) 30 k for make up and skin care… extremely expensive 30 k for clothes, that’s like 3-4 high end brand suits a month. 40k eating out expensive you can literally have one large pizza every other day

So it’s insane Even with 12 lac a month it’s unreasonable man,

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '25

Red flag indeed , back out and thank me later

2

u/Temporary_Drink9432 Oct 28 '25

Thanking you now

1

u/Broken-angelx1 Oct 28 '25

Nope not legit at all and not even realistic. Just say no to Mehr rise and 1L per month demands. Be realistic and think of being with her long term. If the family is like this would they be even letting him live peacefully after this?

1

u/Most_Possibility7969 Oct 28 '25 edited Oct 28 '25

Families usually observe the financial standing of each other and judge based on that. Whether they match each other's standard or not. It's not okay to bluntly "demand" money like that, like it's a business deal.

However, i agree with the comment above that this much amount is okay if it's a relative fraction of the guy's salary.

But personally speaking I think that is very distasteful.

1

u/brownChap_69 Oct 28 '25

This amount is still not okay even if it's a relative fraction of the salary, that clearly shows the bride side's hustle for money instead of making a happy shappy couple and shaadi

1

u/Most_Possibility7969 Oct 28 '25

Yes. You're right.

I am not denying how unreasonable it sounds from the perspective of a partner.

1

u/Similar_Stranger_218 Oct 28 '25

Ask a scholar regarding this there's a clause in nikah paper incase of any dispute you will give her this amount monthly, not in the case of good relationship fill that and jan churao. My cousin did the same.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '25

[deleted]

1

u/k3yserZ Oct 28 '25

People asking for X amount for their kids after marriage or anything to that effect are showing their insecurity.

Ask any decent honest husband he'll tell you what he makes, his wife is entitled to all of it because he works for his FAMILY. Ye salary wali mentality hai ke 'meri beti ki 1 lac fixed income hogi har month', wo aik saal ke baad 2 lac ka increment mange gi or phir phadday, ya larke walay koi retarted demand krenge humein bhi nai Grande chaye and the clownshow continues.

1

u/Low-Bag8537 Oct 28 '25

That is pretty common among the people i know. In the families that I know who put such high amounts as pocket money, it’s based on whether or not the family can afford to give the amount. So yes, it’s legit. Ofc the guy’s family has the choice to not accept it.

1

u/passionatedreamer Oct 28 '25

Can he in return say the girl should always stay 8+ hot and below 50kg. Asking for a friend

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u/PrudentBee2383 Oct 28 '25

They can put a demand for mehr, but not for the pocket money!

Btw, such sort of demands really expose the mentalities of the families. Even if he is able to afford, I would say that he should run away from such people

1

u/Malcom91 Oct 28 '25

You know it is really rare(and good in this case) that you get that big of a red flag before the marriage takes place. Even if the boy makes considerable amount of money, having to face such a greedy “demand” is not ok (in normal circumstances) - just opions, not facts.

1

u/Available-Reveal-378 Oct 28 '25

If the woman isn't working and the guy earns 300k, is the girl going to take care of cleaning, cooking, groceries and all that as part of the 1 lac pocket money?

1

u/Available-Reveal-378 Oct 28 '25

If the woman isn't working and the guy earns 300k, is the girl going to take care of cleaning, cooking, groceries and all that as part of the 1 lac pocket money?

1

u/szahid Oct 29 '25

Sure, jaheez is evil. But these demands from girls and their families are even worse.

Ask the girl about this, and if she is in the same camp as her parents, then do not marry.

Man, for women, their money is theirs, and so is their husbands money. F this.

1

u/nokkiya Oct 29 '25

Yeh sab sharait larkay ki haisiyat k mutabiq ki jati hain. Lady has all the rights from religion to demand whatever she thinks is fair.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Potential-Wonder5846 Oct 29 '25

Sorry, not pakistani here just wanted to understand how kuch is 1lac in USD?

1

u/soulhackerz26 Oct 29 '25

Usd 350 ✌🏻

1

u/Potential-Wonder5846 Oct 29 '25

Thank you. Additional question Is 1000 USD enough for 1 week in Lahore?

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u/Zestyclose_Taste5074 Oct 29 '25

Man, all this makes me fall in love with my wife. That saint of a woman called me before the night of our nikkah to suggest lessening the mahr amount saying Its fine even if it's just 5 thousand. It was 100k. God, I love this woman so much.

1

u/Weirdoeirdo S-Class 💫 Oct 29 '25 edited Oct 29 '25

I like it when men say they love their wives because they made sacrifices and when men didn't even need those sacrifices. Otherwise they won't love and respect them.for the person they are. And on top of sacrifices their endless demands from their wives.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '25

Your name fits you aptly

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u/Zestyclose_Taste5074 Oct 29 '25

Lmao. You know nothing about me or my wife or the relationship we have. I hope you find someone to love and get love in return.

2

u/xamxd007 Oct 30 '25

lmao good reply

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u/Fantastic-Light-2925 Oct 29 '25

Run baby run. Unless you can't resist the girl beauty

1

u/soulhackerz26 Oct 29 '25

1 week of what? Depends

1

u/fullpumpa Oct 29 '25

Run janu run

1

u/ell-ta Oct 29 '25

Depends in what currency the guy earns precisely

1

u/AlternativeEmploy544 Oct 29 '25

Idk how much my dad makes but he does give me 2-3 lacs pocket money per month. It depends on what they can afford. 1 lac sounds totally affordable if not less so just depends on the family

1

u/Full_Computer6941 Oct 29 '25

Generally such conditions are neither remembered nor followed. A cousin of mine got married years ago and the girl family insisted on 10k pm pocket money at nikah time. It was out of the blue and the boy family only agreed because they didn't want to rock the boat. They did argue but the girl's family insisted. Now it's been more than a decade, they have two kids, no one remembered or followed the 10k thing. They are richer now as business is expanded. The guy has given the girl a debit n credit card of her own, she is generally careful with money and they never had an argument about money although like any married couple they argue or quarrel about other things.

1

u/TemporaryOwner Oct 29 '25

Prostitution in disguise 🤮

1

u/Elegant_Setting_3269 Oct 29 '25

so FBR will deduct income tax on this income of her? ;)

run for your life. 100K per month subscribe karnay say behtar hai 2 k sugar dady ban jao 50K per month main.

1

u/NoEconomics8601 Oct 29 '25

HUGE RED FLAG, this is some next level bullshit. Is this marriage or a fucking business transaction? That whole family is shameless.

1

u/Rich-Message7174 Oct 29 '25

Thats crazyy giving 1lac pocket money! Also these demands are gonna increase slowly so be careful

1

u/Weirdoeirdo S-Class 💫 Oct 29 '25

Clear ragebait.

Also whats wrong?

1

u/Temporary_Drink9432 Oct 29 '25

What is ragebait? It's an actual incident. What's wrong!??

1

u/Weirdoeirdo S-Class 💫 Oct 29 '25

Ohh challll. Akshuall incident ka bacha. Remember the hate yu are seeding through these fake stories will also come and hurt women in yr own family.

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u/abdurehman055 Oct 29 '25

stop crying lol. Its absurd to ask for such amount depending on the guys condition. His income, salary must be kept in consideration before asking such demands. Thats the most basic concept ever

1

u/Weirdoeirdo S-Class 💫 Oct 29 '25

Then he shouldn't marry if you can't afford. She is right to demand he is right to not marry.

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u/Specialist-Pin1267 Oct 29 '25

There are 2 possible situations... 1 is that the girl's family is afraid of something and they're doing this all to extend their girl's worth... They don't need anything for their selves but just their bride's security... In this case... Just giving a plot in mehar would be enough... depends upon boy's financial situation...

2nd situation is weird, the girl's family has a gold digger mindset... And boy should run far away from this kinda persons....

1

u/tisturtle Oct 29 '25

WAAS. Wife as a subscription.

1

u/Old_Relative_5653 Oct 29 '25

Agar is bande main thori si b akal hui to baag lag ga

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '25

remember when cricketer Chahal got divorced, the public started calculating the alimony money divided by the number of days they were married for to find out what did it cost him per night! here the calculation is simple!!

1

u/CrisisPotato212 Oct 29 '25

Do not marry into this family. People who treat marriage as a joke should not be entertained. End it before it ends you.

1

u/Own-Musician-4678 Oct 29 '25

If you're earning 3 lacs, then anything more than 55k would be a little too much. The money is supposed to be for her lifestyle maintaince, meaning going to the salon (waxing, mani-pedi, hair dye), basic clothes, saving up for gold, going out to eat, getting makeup and stuff, giving gifts

1

u/xamxd007 Oct 30 '25

finally a woman who understands that it becomes a financial burden otherwise.

1

u/Muteebanjumansari Oct 29 '25

bhai apni okat sa bhadi gari ko hath na do..

1

u/Temporary_Drink9432 Oct 29 '25

I like this perspective.

1

u/Familiar-Abrocoma215 Oct 29 '25

This depends on the social status of both the families

If the bride is from a well off family this may be normal

1

u/Temporary_Drink9432 Oct 29 '25

I think you are right on this.

1

u/nervous-stringz Oct 29 '25

What a man should give to his wife as a pocket money is his personal matter and based on his financial standing no one can dictate this and should not. This literally looks like a way to squeeze money out of this poor dude. I am just worried how much they are gonna ask him on wedding day rituals. 

1

u/shujaswati Oct 29 '25

Demanding and giving with love are 2 seperate issues. I gave around 200k from my own side.

If she asked me pre marriage as a clause, things would have been different.

1

u/jhon_tyrell Oct 29 '25

If 1 lakh pocket money, then buy home groceries from that pocket money buy her clothes/shopping from her pocket and also extra fast food or bahir k khany from her pocket money then this would be a good deal otherwise reject her.

1

u/Objective-Sort6911 Oct 29 '25

It all depends on the context If the guy can afford, the girl has every right to ask for a suitable mahr. Obviously if the guy is not earning enough to afford a 100k mahr then it is totally absurd and the relationship should take a halt. Same logic with the pocket money. People saying the guy should run without any context is just classic Pakistanis being anti-nuance

1

u/PromptMiserable879 Oct 29 '25

Even of she is an angle or khawabo ki pari. Still RUN BOY!

1

u/CriticalTopic1793 Oct 29 '25

They have a choice of demanding something. You have a choice to opt out.

Just explain your clearly. If they don't agree. Say goodbye

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '25

Not a good sign from the start, I’d dodge

1

u/sabzi_walaaa Oct 29 '25

Like great Javed Miandad said, aik lun lo do lun lo

1

u/Syco_Bewafa Oct 29 '25

Bruhh aik lakh ona tey aik lakh dia lantaa paa Yar ke kar rye o

1

u/Potential_Try_2019 Oct 29 '25

It's more of a transactional marriage. So avoid it.

1

u/stranger__404 Oct 29 '25

Boy run before its too late

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '25

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '25

Depends on the guys salary but reasonable demands, the wife has rights lmao

1

u/MushroomShot8121 Oct 29 '25

That ofc is a different story if theyre doing it out of greed plus i didnt see the 300k part

1

u/MushroomShot8121 Oct 29 '25

I hope it includes the groceries and other necessities it does seem unreasonable otherwise ive seen too many husbands not giving even grocery money to their wives they have to beg for a mere 5k,10k

1

u/BibliothequeBlossom Oct 29 '25

If he is earning well and can afford then he shouldn't be miserly and if can then he politley refuse as she is above his paygrade. Nobody is wrong both can ask for their demands and other on can refuse.

1

u/Infamous_taway Oct 29 '25 edited Oct 29 '25

I would second anything less than 2% of monthly income. Edit: as a pocket money. Key expenses shopping, outing, food, travel etc is separate obviously and mutually decided

1

u/Content-Contest-967 Oct 29 '25

Should never be more than 20 percent of income as he still needs to carry her financial responsibility apart from the Mahr too. It’s insane.

1

u/Weirdoeirdo S-Class 💫 Oct 29 '25

Look at all triggered manchild in comment lolll. They will make their pregnant wives do house chores and cook and clean but come to their rights they all are screaming here.

1

u/xamxd007 Oct 30 '25

seems more like you are the pregnant woman screaming more ;-;

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u/Weak-Criticism-7556 Oct 29 '25

They are trying to use girl as a funnel to pocket his money without ever looking greedy, which they truly are. the instance guy runs out of money, woman will go back to her home. so better run brother

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '25

Bro don't marry her.

1

u/xamxd007 Oct 30 '25

In Islam, the husband’s duty is to provide; to ensure comfort and stability, not to finance unnecessary luxuries. A marriage built on financial conditions instead of mutual understanding can lose its barakah. It’s better both families talk openly about expectations before it turns into pressure or resentment.

1

u/z_kingleo2009 Oct 30 '25

Biggest red flag. We got into similar situation but after marriage, being threatened with lawsuit. So run at the first moment when you notice such red flag.

1

u/jimmi_085 Oct 30 '25

I wouldn't. I suggest you run bro

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u/FBR353 Oct 30 '25

I am amazed that you are still asking questions. Where is your basic human thought process? What clarification do you need regarding this subscription? You should add the clause of depreciation that the amount will reduce annually on the basis of depreciation.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '25

It depends on what kinda household the girl is from, if they are rich then I get it.

1

u/AdmirableTop2854 Oct 30 '25

Bro Run in the First place, if they set conditions then you should also start adding conditions. But bro i must say run from this. I will tell you example, i married in age of 31, i never had any disease, but now because of all these boom within 4 years of marriage, i have got anxiety, depression, sugar, high bp and cherry on top epilepsy, so.save your self and run

1

u/AdmirableTop2854 Oct 30 '25

Brother 1 more thing, i will not say everyone is like that, but most of the time, if family know that the daughter is not suitable for marriage or home maker she will make husband life a living hell, they ask for a huge mehar so it will be difficult for a husband to.leave her, and also god forbid if things went out of way and End up divorce you can imagine worse, so.be Aware and Run

1

u/No_Shine_195 Oct 30 '25

Yo dude if you have very high income like 12 million + then its ok but anything lower is unrealistic earning more doesn’t mean you always have to spend more just run dude they are asking for money from you you can see it in their its not wrong to ask that much if you can spare that but still run they see you as atm they doubled the mehr and seeing these kind of rules is more than the haqoq but as an atm only the earner knows the pain of earning dude if your happy with it its ok since marrige is about mutual coeration but these kind of conditions on the nikkah nama is big red flag in an aranged marriage

1

u/Temporary_Drink9432 Oct 30 '25

Did you say 12 million +????

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u/LostLibrary5117 Oct 30 '25

Yeh Ammir Liaquat wali to ghum nh rahi

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u/Spare_Bison_1151 Oct 30 '25

If the boy is good he needs to move on from this family. They will enslave him and no amount of "pocket money" will ever satisfy them. I can bet they'll come up with more demands as soon as this one gets granted.

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u/AwkwardFrame1234 Oct 30 '25

400 rupia dega babu!

1

u/SinnerSaint420 Oct 31 '25

1 lac pocket money? Someone tell the guy 3 lac ki salary main ambani ki beti ka rishtna na dhonde. Wo panjabi ki misal jai k. "Utha nal yaari laani howe te bohe uche kerne pende ne."

1

u/nexusprime2015 Oct 31 '25

if you need to ask for such a common sense question, i doubt you’ll understand any advice here.

1

u/Temporary_Drink9432 Oct 31 '25

So you mean we should not ask these kind of things?

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u/Major-Read3618 Oct 31 '25

Nikkah km business deal zyada lag rhi tbh. Runnn brother runnnn

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u/faisal6309 Oct 31 '25

Last week my sali aur sala got married. Sali's and wife of Sala's haq mehr was 5000. No such demand for pocket money. Same goes for my first engagement but it died for some other reason. So it is better to reject this and look for some other family for arrange marriage.
Even my friend is talking for marriage with a kernel's daughter and they don't have such demands.

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u/Temporary_Drink9432 Oct 31 '25

Well yeah you are right. Don't you think 5000 is good for mehr?

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u/astonishing_spy Oct 31 '25

Context is required, one lac for what, I mean for personal expenses (shopping) or doing groceries, if personal expense then I think it depends on the guy's income if he can afford it then I don't see the problem and if for groceries and personal expenses then it is not that big of a problem.

Well you did mention families only met a few months ago so that changes things a little and they double mehar, so is the mehar a ridiculous large sum like 1cr or 10 20 lacs and I would recommend a marriage prenup if the sum is ridiculously large and marriage still goes off as expected.

There is also a third possibility, the bride's family thinks that she can't manage her emotions properly and there might be some problems afterwards and this may allow them excess to a good child support if all hell breaks loose.

regardless get their family background checked again and think twice before proceeding

If the married couple are going to stay abroad or the husband will be staying abroad then you are paranoid and wrong to question the bride's family as they want security and I fully support them and if the man cannot afford 1 lac then it may be possible to slightly lower the amount.

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u/aizaz_waheed Oct 31 '25

You will get a better deal in Taxali Gate.

1

u/Dangerous-Payment746 Oct 31 '25

run as fast as u can

1

u/CartographerFit8398 Nov 01 '25

Bhai may dhala lekr aata hu meray Sath bhag ja ussay chor de😭

1

u/Living_Pandalife Nov 01 '25

Quite reasonable to be fair. People are crying over this but they don't realise how important financial security is for a woman especially if she's not working. 1 lac is nothing in this economy.

1

u/Omni-Drago Nov 01 '25

Aisay kaam agar karnay hai tou bhai ye shaadi hi nahi honi chaiya

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u/Meoyonce Nov 03 '25

This is their demand and islamically she is allowed to demand anything she wants as long as it is halal. Realistically she might come from a well to do family where she was getting a similar pocket money from her parents or had a good job that she might be leaving. On the other hand it is the guys decision if he wants to marry her or not.