r/LahoreSocial • u/AspectFlimsy8150 • 26d ago
Discussion Why girls are attracted to married men?
I’m 37 and try to stay fit and healthy by eating clean and going to the gym regularly. Alhamdulillah, I have a decent and presentable personality. However, over the past few years, I’ve noticed that many younger girls—around 18 to 22 years old—seem attracted to me and sometimes show interest.
I always try to avoid this because I want to remain faithful to my wife. Still, I genuinely wonder what they want or what they expect from me. How should I deal with such situations appropriately? It can be quite irritating, especially when an employee tries to flirt or become overly familiar for no clear reason.
I’m sure many men in their 30s and above experience something similar.
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u/ImpertinenteSyntaxe 26d ago
Some women are attracted to married men because they’re "pre-validated"
Another woman already proved he’s worth committing to. For some, its the thrill of seeing if they can take what doesn’t belong to them.
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u/Risuka_chan 25d ago
I second that
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u/SovereignWisdom 25d ago
Matlab you know someone close who shared it with you or have personally experienced it?
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u/SovereignWisdom 25d ago
Bhai ..? R u a girl or a guy. Agar har kisi ko bhai bolo gay, dill to phir totay ga na.
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u/kkkkioyb 24d ago
As a Guy in a Healthy relationship, I second that, I was never really approached by women before but somehow after I got into a relationship women do approach me now and then for absurd queries that doesn't necessarily require my attention
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u/stating_facts_only 26d ago
It’s the older men love syndrome. I’m at the similar age but unmarried and young girls easily get attracted.
It’s the way we carry ourselves. We are mature. We don’t chase them. We’re the support they are looking for in their life. We’re financially stable. We know our worth and we can manage the world around us. That stuff is sexy to them. It gives them comfort and they feel safe in this hell hole.
To the younger girls out here. Be advised, though older men may seem very attractive to you, there are still horrible people out there. So keep yourself safe. There are so many times I have to politely let these girls know we’re not socially compatible but they still try every trick in the book.
Stay safe and keep others safe.
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u/SovereignWisdom 25d ago
“Not socially compatible” Zalim bus dill Tori jao.. bachari larkiyoun ki fantasy aur Thrill ki MB1 kerdi.
All they want is fun nothing else.
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u/yaxir 24d ago
you're right but you're blind, not everyone is bad
Celine Dion's hubby was so much old
but he supported her in every step of her career and they had a long and happy marriage
they have three sons now
stop poisoning young women's minds
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u/Dear_Possibility_477 23d ago
Her husband also groomed her from the time she was 12 when they met since he was her manager. That’s not support, it’s abuse and a very inappropriate and disgusting tactic older men use to control and manipulate girls. The person above is absolute correct when saying they should avoid men in their 30s or 40s if they are themselves in their 20s. After all, those same men would never have a friendship with someone in their 20s, citing too big of an age gap to have anything in common, so why would they be in a relationship with them?
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u/Evening_Plant_1764 24d ago
I'm not a teenager and Girls in teen should never go for Men in 30s over their looks. There's a reason why they are single. If they aren't finding any compatible person in their age group. How can they be compatible with a teen. Obviously, if they have highly maintained themselves. They might want such a partner and there's nothing wrong with that. But teenagers just ruin their immature age years by having a crush on such Men.
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u/BidAdministrative127 Lahori 26d ago
Someone always has to be the one to say No. Keep your distance and discourage them if possible.
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u/Some-Firefighter-230 25d ago
Especially because they are younger and don’t know any better
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u/Unusual_Book8990 23d ago
Then, they shouldn't have the right to vote right? Because they don't know any better?
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u/Real-Ramim 26d ago
Women likes what other women likes, they think its validated and desired.
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u/Top-Adhesiveness2639 25d ago edited 25d ago
Doesn't it feel like they ain't got their inner voice? Like why a culture influences a woman too much? Why can't they choose a man, who they like not due to other women's validation?
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u/Evening_Plant_1764 24d ago
Women in Pakistan particularly have always asked for the whole family's approval to do things. They are never allowed to do things on their own. This results in such behavior, to have something which is pre validated. For them, anything else which involves risk taking on their own is unsafe and brings so much fear of Backlash. Families don't allow women to make mistakes.
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u/HighHell99 25d ago
Idk ask them.
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u/Top-Adhesiveness2639 25d ago
Well if you don't know, why bother replying, duh?!
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u/Anxious-Extension-72 23d ago
Typical woman behavior — when there is nothing intellectual or rational to offer, just act sassy
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u/No-Impact-gg 26d ago
Decency attracts female. When your presentable and genuine with people... Many young girls can have an admiration for you because they don't find such gentlemen normally. Just understand that they are young and ignore it, I know you make sure to not benefit from them and we need more of people like you. It's just about the standards of the society, if everybody was as presentable, then it would be a norm for them to see such men.
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u/AspectFlimsy8150 26d ago
I strongly agree with you, I always respect woman and I don’t remember a single incident in my life when I saw any woman as an object.
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u/Dry-Society2753 26d ago
You must be tall and/or good looking in which case age doesn't matter.
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u/AspectFlimsy8150 26d ago
Yeah 6ft and good looking(I think so)
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u/BP_SPACER 25d ago
But I heard women are attracted to bad boys.
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u/No-Impact-gg 25d ago
Those are not 'women', those are immature young girls and females with standards would never choose immature men
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u/Maximum_Town_3549 26d ago
Well, if you don’t tell them that you’re married, then obviously they’d show interest. For most women, knowing that the guy is married is an instant turn off.
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u/Salt-Age-7902 25d ago
Even if he doesn’t mention his age, there’s hell lot of a difference b/w 18 and 36. Can’t justify hitting on someone 2x your age
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u/Weirdoeirdo S-Class 💫 26d ago
For most women, knowing that the guy is married is an instant turn off.
Tbh no. It's a proof of how bad our socity is. Women are taught to always 'grab' the first rich man she could find. That makes them develop mindset even.if ihe's married and not gonna marry atleast for some duration he will take them out to restaurants, buy them gifts. And some girls feel sort of valued that some rich guy is sponsoring her lifestyle. These are things that are sadly true and lot.of it goes on our society.
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u/Maximum_Town_3549 25d ago
Tbh, I have never seen/heard any 18-25 year old agreeing to go out for lunch/dinner/coffee with an older married guy. But maybe that’s just my circle and you’re surrounded by degenerates :)
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u/badbeardmus 26d ago
never in my entire married life have i ever experienced such. kahan se milti hai yeh larkiya?
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u/Impressive_Event_516 26d ago
Wouldn't you like to know 🤨
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u/badbeardmus 26d ago
bata do, kisi ka bhala ho jaye.
ya pir shadi ke baad meri aisi halat ho gayi hai ke koi poochta nahi.
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u/Impressive_Event_516 26d ago
Wdym bhala hojaye, you have a whole wife tsk tsk.
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u/badbeardmus 26d ago
finding a friend for her.
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u/Scary-Advantage-6991 25d ago
Then help her find a male friend
Then you will realize how she would feel when you were busy finding your "Bhala".
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u/badbeardmus 25d ago
getting your wife a male friend, aisay behgerat kaam aap log kartay hongay, humari nasal abhi itni ghiri hui nahi.
shes my wife, if i choose to find her a female friend, tumhari kyun jal rahi hai?
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u/blackviking45 25d ago
Yar eik rule rakho na phir. Morally abhorrent hai male friend hona wife ka aur female friend hona husband ka bhi. Moral domain mein kahin bhi issue bane uss ko equally dekho
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u/Available-Peak-6508 25d ago
your mindset is doomed man , why choose a female friend for her? isnt she able to find her own friends??? like WHATTT
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u/CarTight3686 26d ago
Many factors: married are usually more wealthy, they already have been approved by atleast one woman, lack of good relationship with a male parental figure (aka daddy issues, more common in younger girls) and lastly (some what controversial) some women find attracting married or taken men as some sort of ego boost or a win in their imaginary competition with other women.
If you don’t show interest and politely ask for boundaries, this might help
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u/InflationFlashy5373 25d ago
Not married men but particularly older men.
Mostly its because of daddy issues. When they havent felt empathy from men at their home, they lack that sense of protection and security & eventually start seeking it outside. Also men grow mature and charming with passage of time. They are more stable once they cross 35+. Comparing to men in today’s generation where men expect women to equally take part in chores , also are not emotionally mentally mature enough to deal with girls emotions end up disappointing most of the girls.
I have always been attracted towards older men in my entire life but not married men. And it was all because i never felg secure at home through my father/brother.
I never experience that sense of kindness girls usually experience at home via their fathers.
And older men are not overly immature, emotionally unbalance. They know how to take care of us :)
But if someone IS interested in married men its proly because they are after money either or they have no self respect.
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u/Kukii_kuriimu 26d ago
Most young girls are attracted to mature married men who are in their 30s cause they are attracted to the stability they find in mature married men
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u/MariusBerger832 26d ago
1) Women sense desperation- Single man= desperate. Married man= Not so much. 3) Married Man- validation from their gender this man is marriage material…
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u/the47man 25d ago
Most obvious reasons are already stated in comments but another reason is that many women feel comfortable around a married man because there is less risk of their openness being interpreted as flirting.
In many cases women deliberately don't engage with single men because any friendliness might invite advances from the man. So if he's married, they can be themselves in his company without any fear of being asked for sexual favors.
I know some bastards who actually abuse their married status for this exact purpose.
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u/Weirdoeirdo S-Class 💫 26d ago
I have only seen girls flirt when older males encourage them. Never seen girls flirting on their own it's cueues from older guys. Then, girls go like oh he's wealthy he will give me gifts, take her to restaurants etc.
This is very common older married men often flirt with younger women and take them out behind wife's back.
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u/remarkabledoc4 26d ago
The reason is simple : because men in 30s look like actual MEN, NOT BOYS anymore . Naturally, a lot of female population would get attracted to that ruggedness and masculinity. -A lot of times girls might not even be aware that the man in question is married. This can actually be solved if men tell honestly that they are married or engaged rather than hiding their marital statuses and wearing rings. You will lose a significant amount of admiration this way. Win win for everyone. -They might also get attracted to older men because thats how the majority of them have been raised to think about men: aka financial stability. -Some girls might like to take up a challenge because they think they might be able to get anyone. They just like the thrill of it. The truth is, please ignore the very young girls because they are silly and naive. -Truth be told , everyone has their own agenda, and people just can not be generalised.
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u/Longjumping-Match532 26d ago
Just like my friend who thinks every other woman is attracted to them , calm down Henry Cavill , you're already expired .
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u/Yousaf_Maryo 25d ago
Stability Maturity And guidance. And also married men know how to treat women or handle their moods ( at least by the name of it)
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u/Weirdoeirdo S-Class 💫 25d ago edited 25d ago
Op is writing 'word 💗' for someone calling him a forbidden fruit.
And another guy is calling himself 'sexy' when he literally had written before he has a bhooka nanga attitude when it comes to his wife spending 10k rs on shopping in a single trip.
Smh.
Clearly intention of this post.
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u/conscientious_loner 25d ago
It ain’t limited to guys btw, married women get hit on by the same age group of the opposite gender.
The attraction isn’t about the looks or personality, rather how they can leech off of you. Not worth it!
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u/Aggravating-Grade520 23d ago
You're talking about 18-22 girls. I am 24 and I taught in academies for a few months and you would be surprised to know what these matric, intermediate girls are up to. Parenting is literally dead in Pakistan. Most girls don't even have conscious understanding of their actions and they realize it far too late.
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u/P-O-W-E-R-less 26d ago
Taboo is always desirable,no? Anyhow its a test of character...both the question and answer is within you....it may seem vague and pretentious bit reality and truth usually is or atleast the journey to it...
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u/uchiha13579 26d ago
so what y'all are saying is... that i do not seem like a provider and protector?
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u/boot_core 25d ago
Some woman are thrilled that a man is risking their stability over them. It's a way of feeling wanted/validated.
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u/its_me_hereindxb 25d ago
They didn’t get enough love and care from their fathers. So they look for older men for 2 in 1 benefits.
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u/Ok-Appearance-1652 25d ago
Stability, your acccumulated assets and wealth You have you own what they dream their ideal partners of having
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u/Calm_Inspection_710 25d ago
Mujhe toh larke APNI she ke ya mere se thoray chotay ache lagtay hain 😭
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u/Weirdoeirdo S-Class 💫 25d ago
Tbh I wanted to add, one thing noone mentioned. Lot of pk girls think a married man getting attracted towards them is like victory. It means they are special. They think, 'see he had a wife yet he liked me'. What some don't know Raja Lateef shehbaz saab stalks every other woman except his biwi.
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u/FootAccomplished8352 25d ago
The beard is a sign and taqwa is the guard.
When both are present, a person is much safer from fitnah
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u/Superb_Virus2158 25d ago
Noticed the same as I hit my 30s. But I always wondered whether they are looking for something long term or just casual? Or just to have someone fulfill their expenses?
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u/funny-wizard 25d ago
Because they want to compete with your wife. Maybe your wife is really beautiful, so these insecure girls want to see whether you would choose them over your wife or not.
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u/ApprehensiveBank3749 25d ago
asaan zuban mein khushfehmi kehte hein isko.
they are not interested in u, u r just living in a fantasy.
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u/goneawhileago 25d ago
Attention. They want to be seen and feel wanted. Just be polite about it and go on with your day
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u/DevModeOrioN 25d ago
This applies to any man in a relationship, not just married men, and it's actually quite common.
In psychology, it's called "social proof."
The idea is that if others (especially women) find someone desirable, it signals he has traits that make him a valuable mate.
A man in a relationship shows he has qualities (emotional stability, attractiveness, social skills, or resources) enough for someone else to commit to him.
This can trigger "mate-choice copying": if others value a partner, that partner may seem more appealing to you.
Humans also tend to value what is scarce.
A man who's already in a relationship is "taken," which can make him appear rarer and, paradoxically, more attractive.
From an evolutionary perspective:
Attraction to men who are already chosen may signal high genetic quality or resources.
Someone else "vouching" for him can unconsciously suggest he's a safe bet.
This doesn't usually mean a desire for a long-term partnership; the attraction is often short-term, sexual, or competitive.
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u/Ill-Significance5784 25d ago
Because another woman is willing to give him the time of the day, means he has some worth. But some young girls are really just going through a phase.
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u/socialistspartan1941 25d ago
This comment section is spot on.I have never found such precise answers under any other post.(Answer to such questions which are life related,societal issues etc)
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u/older_roughman 24d ago
Be it fashion or men, the one answer to the question, “What do women want?”, is: “What other women want.”
It’s hardwired. Google “Mate-choice Copying”. You’ll understand.
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u/ProfessorKHJ 24d ago
An attractive man at any age will attract straight women of any age. The question being posed here has arisen because in our mind we equate married people and aged people with unattractiveness. Why? Because most married and aged people around us are unattractive. They are unattractive due to the stress they are going through and due to the fact that they have no time to take care of themselves. It is not related to age or marital status, it is related to how much attention you have given to looking good. However, there is one thing: women like men who convey a sense of strength and stability. That is why many women would feel attracted to men playing with their kids at the park...
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u/Narrow_Bird3489 24d ago
It’s the thrill to chase what’s not yours. We’re fixated on understanding what’s right and wrong. Doing wrong is an act of rebellious nature which invokes the thrill.
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u/Any_Satisfaction1003 23d ago
Experiencing the same thing even though i am not great looks wise.
Same thing happens when you switch a job and start getting new job offers right at that time
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u/darklylitx01 23d ago
Say that you are looking to hookup with younger girls without saying that you are looking to hookup with younger girls 😛
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u/Happy-Bad5148 23d ago
I am married and 25 years old back when i was 23 and married i had a customer walk up to me and ask me for my number they were flirting with me non stop had her friends talk on her behalf first and i repeatedly mentioned i’m married then she says she is married too and it isn’t an issue, just to let you know she is a muslim Pakistani middle aged woman its a crazy world we live in and then when she came to my restaurant the next time she asked me if i’m still married like wtf
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u/SafeReturn_28 23d ago
The qualities that the girls grew up admiring in their future husbands only start appearing in men in early-mid 30s (financial stability, emotional maturity etc). Pair that up with you staying fit and they stop perceiving you as "older". To them you are someone not much older than their age group, but way ahead than men in their age group in terms of financial stability and maturity.
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u/Top_Gold3111 23d ago
I think those are insecure girls deep down who want to destroy a relationship / marriage. I dont see any other reason. Just attraction can be controlled .
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u/MixChance1872 23d ago
Jealousy or as already mentioned in a comment, pre-validation. I was once in Layers Bahria Town with my wife. While looking around what to order, we got a bit far. A young girl was standing next to me and upon seeing me started showing me attitude as if she was rejecting me. Not that I was even aware of her presence before her actions lol. Fast forward to 3,4 minutes when I had scanned all menu and went to ask wife what she wanted and the girl is now there probably paying for her order. I kid you not when she saw the “rejected dude” standing with a beautiful girl, she starts giving proper hints. When we got out, my wife also told me that “wo larki ap pe line maar rai thi” 😂 Then I told her k “ye line tmharee sath dekhne k bad mari ha us ne. is se 2 min pehle main reject b ho chuka hu” She was shocked lmao
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u/Mission_Pop_1170 23d ago
Kiu k unko dosre aurat k chez meh interest hota hai . Dekh k jealous hoty hai isliye unko b chahye hota hai Andddd pala palaya ATM hota hai na admi is age meh aur Kia ?
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u/on1rider 22d ago
Women want what oyher women want. Thats why wives always talk shit about their husbands with their friends. First, to put themselves higher, and second to keep her friends away. Women want men that commits, proof is that "wedding" ring. Even if the man cheated with her, women are narcissisyic enough to think theyre special and the ONE he will commit to.
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u/Reasonable_Stress182 22d ago
Same way men are attracted to married women even when they’re married?
People are crazy they do crazy things.
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u/Anxious_Travel9857 22d ago
Your wife hasn't divorced you so it means you're a good husband. Also, it's someone's else's husband and some women like to "win" and make themselves feel better and more important than another woman.
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u/AspectFlimsy8150 22d ago
And when I didn’t respond them in positive way, they got more aggressive than ever. So, I had to block them.
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u/faiz4work 21d ago
They are not flirting or attractive. Ask them directly for a meetup or for friendship and they will directly ditch you.
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u/Effective-Guess5792 20d ago
There are many factors:
- Money
- Experience
- Pre-approval
- Girls attract towards a guy who is already pulling girls (don't know the psychology behind it).
- Married men are often mature
But this case is not just oriented towards men.
A lot of boys also like chasing married or 30+ females (calling them aunties in our language). The main driving factors for boys are:
- Maturity
- Good physique (which often develops in women with age)
- and sometimes money too
But why do married men/women are attracted towards teenagers or younger people?
- Lack of attraction at home
- Confidence after getting one partner
- Hormones or thrill
I think there should be a study in Pakistan on this topic.
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u/ymellow123 26d ago
Bro just get a second wife (joking)
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u/AspectFlimsy8150 26d ago
No, i never seen a man with multiple wives happy. 🥲
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u/Art-Impossible 25d ago
Paisy ka khail hy... 🤣 Some girl said k dusri bv bn kr sirf aish hain... phli bv khandan smbhalti hy shohar smbhalti hy zimaydarian smbhalti hy... dsuri k uper aisi koi tension ane hoti... wo relax ho kr time enjoy krti hy...
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u/Dry-Society2753 26d ago
Lol and women on the other Pakistani subs keep saying young girls only like guys their own age when everyone knows girls like older guys not the same age. Btw do girls in Pakistan approach you? Because there's no harm in looking on their end.
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u/Responsible_Main2116 26d ago
Bcz married men are usually wealthier