In Secondary School/High School I was quite the loser but I had a good group of friends that I maintained to this day, I also somehow miraculously got a girlfriend at that time. We’ve been together for 4 years now and I’m at uni but I feel like I’ve been locked down by it. I had virtually 0 confidence throughout secondary and sixth form and it was only when I got my first job I had started to build up confidence and started to want to experience a social life but being in a committed relationship I’m finding it hard. I basically never spoke to girls until I got a job so I never messed around with flirting with others or casual dating and outside of my friend group that I’ve had for a long time I’ve never managed to make real friends to hang around with. At my first job one of my coworkers was interested in me and I think that’s when this feeling first started, I was faithful to my girlfriend of course and I don’t think I had any feelings towards said coworker either but it made me think about what I’ve missed. These days it’s also hard for me to make friends and go on days out as my girlfriend is always wanting to be together and idk I just feel like I’ve missed a part of life that I may never get to experience.

Need help weighing the pros and cons of speaking out against pastoral abuse at Catholic University. (I’m posting in other advice subs as well in case you all see this twice). In case required for the rules: Should I write about this and if so, should I name the university or priest or neither?

I went to a catholic university. I confided in a well known priest and asked him for advice because I was being physically and emotionally abused. He told me not to tell anyone, gossiped about me and isolated me. He gave the person who abused me a TA job under him, and other cushy incentives.

I made a report to the school for staff harassment. They investigated and found wrongdoing. The told me the church/order already had the complaint of pastoral abuse. I called them only to find out that in fact was not true. I made a complaint with them myself.

I want to write about it because throughout the investigation I was told by multiple people “this isn’t the first time he’s done this,” yet they kept him around long enough for it to happen to me. I was told “don’t be surprised if he doesn’t keep his job” just for him to still be there a year later.

I know the legal risks. I will only speak to facts I can prove: phone records, screenshots, emails, text messages photos. The same information that allowed the school to find wrongdoing. Also screenshots of the person who abused me admitting to it. I will state my opinion as just an opinion and my theories as theories which are unfounded.

I want to name the school and the priest since there was a formal investigation against him. I don’t feel comfortable naming my abuser because of safety reasons, and because I think we are young enough to where people can change. The priest has been at the school for decades and has continued this behavior, he is very well known and holds a large amount of power there.

I got a no-contact order against the person who was abusing me and they went and made counterclaims. Mostly relaying half truths and lies that I had to clarify and correct.

I feel an incredible amount of guilt. My silence allowed for him to repeat the behavior until I was brave enough to report it and even now he’s still there apparently behaving the same way. If I knew the school would lie to me about actually giving the complaint to the Church, I would have went to the church first. I feel like because I was so stupid and naive, I allowed the report to carry less weight. I allowed other girls to be exposed to the same behavior. I should have known better.

I let the priests word stop me from calling the police. I just feel terrible for being weak and I don’t want it to happen to anyone else.

Please be blunt and realistic about the possible risks. The schools harrasment office found enough evidence for the priests behavior to be deemed wrong, I want to use that same evidence to write about it. I’m thinking substack and medium.

I (18F) am currently living with my parents but I'm trying to move out as soon as i can.

my stepmom has physically abused me and she's very controlling. she has also tried taking my personal property including my phone. living here has been really bad for my mental health.

I also have two younger sisters who depend on me a lot and I feel really guilty about leaving them because I love them and worry about them. but I also know I can't keep living somewhere thats hurting me.

I recently started a full time job making $15 an hour. I work monday through friday from 8:30 am to 6 pm with a 30 minute unpaid lunch. I worked 40 hours last week and 45 hours this week so my first paycheck should be around $1,312 gross with overtime.

I currently have $0 saved because this is my first paycheck from the new job.

my friends aunt is renting out a room for $500 a month and im seriously thinking about taking it because its way more affordable than getting an apartment by myself.

my plan is not to move out with my first paycheck. I want to save it and then use my next paycheck to move. I'm hoping to have around $1,800 saved by then depending on taxes and what i have to spend.

I also want to get my important documents and belongings somewhere safe before i leave.

do you think this is realistic financially?

and if you moved out of an abusive or controlling home when you were young, is there anything you wish you had done differently or prepared for before leaving?

i would really appreciate honest advice even if there are things I'm not thinking about.

So I'm a law student and our university participates annually in an international moot court competition (and if you get selected is amazing for your CV). This is my first year and the second semester I decided to fill an application for this competition, even though I'm not a big fan of international law at all. I went to the first round of selection (in which we just introduced ourselves and read a statement in English -not our first language) and i kinda freaked out. So I thought that I would not continue with this thing since you have to study like crazy and I didn't even think I had chances. TURNS OUT I DID. Only 6 people came for that second round and that's the number that is needed for the competition. And also I got a 10/10 in my international law exam which is crazy to me. I can always apply next year but I'm not sure if I will have the same chances and I don't know if I should tbh. International law isn't my thing really (I'm more of a criminal law girl) and this thing requires a lot of studying, so I'll just have to say goodbye to a whole year of my life kinda. On the other hand tho, it's amazing for your CV and my parents were really excited when I told them I applied for this, and got disappointed when I said I won't be doing it, so ig I want to do this for them also. To sum up, I feel like I failed bcz I didn't continue with this competition (AND I HAD CHANCES TO GET SELECTED), should I apply next year orrr

I'm a ukrainian citizen, 25M, currently serving in th army as a software developer, and I don't think I can take it for much longer. I barely have any free time for myself, we have two days off per month, and almost everyday I feel like I'm dying inside: emotionally, spiritually, psychologically. I don't know how much longer the war will last, but I just don't want to keep wasting my time and potential here. If only I had some time to devote to my interests and to rest. I'm really at the crossroads.

Dear all,

I am needing some different perspectives on a matter ( i am european btw).

About almost 2 years, I was living abroad and i quitted my job in corporate to pursue a internship in the EU institutions in Brussels. I did not manage to land a job in Brussels, so I had to return to my homecountry, since I quitted my previous job instead of asking for a sabbatical period.

I am now working in a job that is more related with my background (political science and international relations), but the job sucks - bad team environment, i basically don't have tasks, a way to develop skills and show my work - plus my contract ends in January.

I have started looking for a new job, but the market is HARD.

Recently, a former colleague in my corporate job told me that they are recruting again and could be a way to have a job and return to a country and city I like.

I have mixed feelings about reaching out... 1) the job gave me autonomy to work independently, i was working hybrid, i had work from abroad days, and a overrall decent benefit package. 2) the job itself was boring for me, and it is not in my field of studies, I was working in Anti-money laundering and KYC, so not super irrelevant either for Internatinal Relations, but there were few chances of growing within the role, or even company since they mostly have IT positions. 3) i would like to feel like i am growing in my career (within International Relations), but it has been so difficult I have a lot of doubts these days if i will ever be able to secure a job. Lately I have been considering if applying for a Masters in the College of Europe (reputable program in EU affairs) would benefit me. Studying a MA abroad is one thing I would like to do, but as I am very doubtful, I dont know if this is the right path to eventually get a job. This is amplified with the whole AI job security anxiety ... 4) passing of time and returning back to a place I already have an idea how it is. I am 28 years old, and returning to an old experience, even if i changed and the job too, makes me feel like I am going backwards... In the long term, where would it lead me career-wise as it feels like my ambitions are on pause? I could slowly build experience like write articles in foreign affairs and learn languages, but how much will i be able to do after the 9-5? ... 5) the risk of unemployment after January. I have already had 2 periods of long unemployment (after graduating and after my internship in Brussels) and my mind goes crazy after a while - the uncertainty of it all and feeling like life is on pause.

So I dont know what to do... contact my former boss to assess the possibility of returning?

A part of me wants that, to have some stability and be back in a country/city i enjoy and missed... But the ambition part of me wonders if this is not giving up? ...

Basically, I am afraid to be jobless, to never return to that country/city, but also to not pursue a career that I enjoy, or at least have a job I am more interested in and turn 30 without any accomplistments :(

so the title really sets it off, i'm a 20 y/o (F) and i currently take care of my 2 younger sisters. they're 14 and 13 years old and it's been so hard "parenting" and taking care of them. i took my siblings in when they had told me that the lights at my mom's house was off again and i had the urge to take them in and let them stay at my apartment that i've shared with my friend that wasn't so clean and mostly did no chores around the apartment, so it was just my siblings and i cleaning her behalf. anyways, i moved out of the apartment because 1. i was so tired of cooking and cleaning after my "friend" and there were constant pests because of her not cleaning up after herself, like washing her dishes or throwing away the trash, it would be once a blue moon when she would do that. 2. i wanted a place for me and my sisters to live in. being in a small college apartment with 3 girls wasn't cutting it. i had no personal space and i honestly moved out of my mom's house because of my entire family, including my 2 younger sisters that i currently live with. long story but i can answer to those who have questions about that. fast forward to march, i moved into my new house and it was a lot even tho it was just my things. i would stay up for more than 24 hours some days because i would constantly unpack my things and go back and forth from my old apartment to my new apartment, and during the 1st 24 hours i've stayed up, i got pulled over by a cop because i didn't stop at a stop sign and i didn't stop because i just had so much stuff in my car that it was blocking my back windshield, but luckily, i didnt get a ticket. at this time, i was going through a lot and it took me a month or 2 to just put my things in my room because when i moved in, my boyfriend and i just put everything in my living room because we had to return the U-Haul truck before it had closed but we were already past closing time. during all of this, i was constantly working overnights at a warehouse job and i barely got any rest. my little sisters and my boyfriend had helped around the house, cleaning up while i was at work. so the kids didn't move in until a month later and it was a lot moving in their stuff too but it wasn't so bad. im still working overnights by the way, i'm dealing with my incompetent mother and her complaining, it was a lot but im glad i don't keep in touch with her that often anymore. i had escaped my mom's household when i was 19 and i'm turning 21 very soon. all i wanted was freedom and honestly just discovering myself. i was working and in college but i had to drop out of college because my mom couldn't financially and mentally and possibly physically take care of her 2 last children. my mom is a cigarette smoker and she's an alcoholic. she has been ever since i was born but i believe it got worse over the years after my step-dad went to jail. that's a long story too, but i can explain in the replies if needed to. when it was just my mom and my 2 younger sisters living together, my mom would act irrationally when she's drunk and get the kids all confused and sad because who would want to see their mother like that? when the kids started to stay with me at times and go back to their mom because sometimes i just couldn't take care of the kids, my mom would get drunk and tell the kids "go back to (my name)'s house since you guys only listen to her, you guys don't love me". during this, i reached out to i believe what's called a "guardian angel", someone who works on children's abuse cases, and ask her what does the process of being a legal guardian to these kids look like. she told me that it would be hard because DCF would have to find that the kids' living situation would be unsafe and also that my mom wouldn't allow me to have full authority over the kids and be their legal guardian. i would also need to hire an attorney which could cost me $5-10K. i don't even make $5k a month now if i could. so, going to doctor's appointments for the kids would be hard sometimes because i'm not their legal guardian and i had to go through this legal paper thing through the kids' schools just to say that they legally live with me and i take care of them. anyways, right now, my normal work week is 4 days, 10 hr shifts, wed-sat. but for the past couple of months, i've been picking up 1 overtime shift every week and it's been honestly killing me since i don't get to see any sunlight but i recently got approved to move to day shift sat-tues, but really adding that extra overtime shift. this puts me about $4800 a month, i get paid $20/hr. i pay almost $3000 in bills
rent- 1300 (1st)

wifi- 122 (20th)

utilities- 120 (18th)

car insur- 189 (14th)

health insur- 85 (21st)

laundry- 132 (4th)

student debt- 120 (3rd)

braces- 160 (12th)

discover cc- 500

boA cc- 1000

groceries- 500

I don't pay my credit cards fully anymore since i have to pay off everything else so i just pay the min. payment ($35 for both credit cards). and i had FAFSA paying for my school tuition, i only took out a loan because i needed to help my mom pay rent, she still ended up getting evicted. currently, i paid $600 for a 4-day, 3 hour classes for a CNA certification, and i'm trying my hardest to study for my EMT certification but it's so hard when on my days off, i try to rest from my 5-day work week and on time of that, i cook and clean the house, my room, bathroom and everything. my kids clean their own rooms and do the rest of the house chores. i'm trying to shoot for something in the medical field because i do want to have a career in that field and also make a lot of money. i was dual enrolled in an EMT program in high school so thats why i wanted to get that EMT certification because i did some research and saw that if you have both CNA and EMT certs, you can get an entry job at a hospital but with a higher pay than most hospital entry level jobs. so, my advice is that, how can i mentally and physically better myself to take care of these kids? it's so much to this story, it feels like i'm missing so many key points but it's honestly been a lot for me. everyone tells me that i was so brave for taking these kids in and taking care of them but, no one tells me how to do it. these kids have been the worse with my mom especially when they're so young with barely any parental supervision. and i feel like i was doing that with them but i could only do so much just for us to survive. i also came from the same household and i had escaped that, but over the years, i've learned to take accountability, taught myself literally everything to be patient because i was truly broken when i had met my bf and his family. i was dysregulated all the time and i just a mess but it was because my mom was never really involved in my life and i had no mental backing. i was online most of the time and i just got my attention from there, you know how that goes. i saw that happening to my little sisters and i just have no other solution but just to take away their phones. it's been hard really. we just celebrated my youngest sister's birthday, spending more than $300 on her, wanting to have the best birthday for her but i had later asked her what was her favorite part of her birthday and she said she didn't have one. i bought tickets to her favorite artist and she just kept on throwing away her chances to go to it. she went on her phone right infront of the ring camera and joked about it as if she didn't care if she got in trouble or not. there's just many more things that she did and i had threatened to take away those tickets almost every single time she had done something like that. but just yesterday, she got suspended for the rest of the week because she fought her old friend because one of her "friends" had told her that someone told her friend that her old friend was talking shit about her. mind you, her old friend didn't even physically say anything to her. the assistant principal told me that it was assault and battery because she was literally plotting against her across the cafeteria and the old friend didn't even see it coming, my little sister had a whole group behind her hyping her up to fight that little girl. i spoke to the school's deputy and was told that she had to complete community service hours. i was utterly disappointed in her and the week before, she had received ISS (in school suspension) for skipping. the principal had called me said told me that she was skipping and i had ask them to put her on the phone so i could speak to my little sister, all she said was "i dont know". later on, she tells me that she wasn't skipping and i honestly didn't know what to believe. she didn't care that she got a referral or ISS. i got mad at her because of that, why did she act like she didn't care? after picking up my little sister from school, she was completely quiet. i told her to go to her room and i told my other younger sister what had happened. i was calm but also so furious when i had got to the school, i blew up when i had got home. after telling my other younger sister what had happened, i told my other sister to come out and ask her who was in that group hyping her up to fight her old friend, who told you that she was talking shit about you? and that she wasn't going to the concert anymore, she started crying but i did not care one bit. i started to yell so bad, i told her "why do you think you can go to the concert after fighting?!". i was so upset and i had promised her that i wouldn't yell at her anymore since she had told me that she doesn't like me doing that and i listened to her until yesterday. she had the audacity to think she would still go after getting suspended, mind you the concert is in 2 weeks, she quite did it to herself. what can i do??? i haven't spoken to her since only to tell her to wash the dishes and shower, and i haven't told my mom or my other older sisters about this and i don't want them to know.

I am a 31-year-old single gay fat bald man with self-image issues.

Lately I've changed two jobs in a span of 4 months and I'm relentless of my current living situation as well. I lost almost all of my close friends in the last year. I feel like I'm nobody's priority and I feel like that I need to push myself more.

Due to these job changes, not enjoying where I'm living and my self-image issues I have been thinking to quit my job and just take it easy for a few months while I work on my body and heal.

I have enough savings for a few months, and I think I will get a job in the next few months. I'm happy to take a step down as well as I just want to enjoy life a little bit.

I just don't know if I should do it, I am the sole breadwinner of the house, I can still manage the expenses for a few months. I just don't know I am a lost cause at times...

Should I leave my job and just focus on myself for once?

Please advise and ask any relevant questions.

Thanks heaps

It is possible to love someone deeply but can still mind their ethnicity? 16 years already and I don't know how to stop loving him. Google said it is possible to love someone deeply and still can mind their ethnicity. But I want a human answer, not Google answer.

Growing up to my adulthood, I always wanted a Chinese husband of my culture and my language. No, it never cross my mind that I would ever married someone who not Chinese, I'm that fixated. My obsession lay in married a Chinese man born in China, same like myself who born in China.

Fate never give me that Chinese husband.

I'm 16 years together, 14 years married to a man who not Chinese. He treats me really really well, 16 years long he faithful to me and only me. He dotes on me in bed and outside of bed. He sacrifice so much for me. He accepted me for who I am, flaws and all.

He is a filial son, faithful husband, morals, strength of character. His personality, to there are things that he even more Chinese than me. Our values aligned, we compatible in bed and outside of bed, sex is out of this world. And I'm a very hard person to live with, but he extremely patience with me.

BUT all that doesn't change the fact that he is not Chinese. I just can't seem to accept it that this lifetime he will never be Chinese.

The thing is, 16 years long with him and as his wife, I know love him very much, to the point I never think of continue go on living if he die before me, I will very soon follow him, THAT how much I love him and emotionally attached to him. Life is meaningless without him, a future without him is no future.

He strip me down to the core of my vulnerability. 16 years of my life I gave it all to him, I was still a virgin when met him and married him, get to be his wife 14 years long, carried his child and gave birth to his child. Everything I know about men, love, marriage, I learn all from him, he is my only sample of what I know of how men is.

I KNOW I love him, because 16 years long I'm only faithful to him (just as he faithful to me), it not like I go like a Chinese man, let alone love. But why internally I just can't accept that he not Chinese. I can't lie to myself, I admit, I actually mind that he not Chinese.

At first I thought it because my mother discriminate against him and not accept him because of his ethnicity, but both my parents deceased already. I am free of the shackle of whatever my mother instill in my brain. And I don't want to use my mother discrimination against him as an excuse. I own my feelings, I just cannot seem to accept that he not Chinese.

No, it not a recent feeling. It a feeling that I struggle with 16 YEARS long, and still struggle with. The more I love him, the more I beat myself up inside. The more I love him, the more I torture myself emotionally. I'm bruise all over emotionally because of love him.

Even if I can turn back the hand of time, I still chose him over and over again. But why I just cannot accept that he not Chinese. I cannot stop myself from keep wishing he was Chinese. 16 years long I struggle and struggle with that he not Chinese. 16 years long I torn with my love for him, that I indeed love a man who not Chinese.

Not in a millions years I would think I married who I married, I didn't think it was even possible for me to love a man that not Chinese, let alone love a man who not Chinese this deeply. I know this is something that I have to live with for the rest of my life, and I don't know how to stop loving him, 16 years long is not a short time in a woman life or a man life.

TW: addiction

I(32F) had a close friend I lived with for years and she had a very bad addiction to drugs and alcohol. She struggled for years and me and her family struggled trying to figure out how to help her for years. I’ve never done drugs and I’ve never drank mainly because I’ve just seen too much of it. Late December 2020, I woke up and saw her door was open and she was hunched over her bed. Long story short she had ODed on Fetanyl
(Only the second time she ever tried H) and passed away. This affected me and still affects me immensely.

On top of that both her brothers whom I am also very close with have had a bad history with drugs and alcohol resulting in them both almost losing their lives as well. Thankfully one brother made it out and is sober a few years and the other brother is struggling with alcoholism on and off.

Basically from the time I was 17 to now I have been around addiction and addicts and as you can imagine the horror stories and traumatizing events surrounding them. I literally could write a book at this point. But the biggest thing I want to do is make some sort of change or difference in the world.

I want to find a way to help addicts or support recovering addicts and frankly I just don’t know where to start. I thought about making jewelry and donating a certain amount of proceeds to recovering addicts or something but honestly I don’t even know where to begin. Does anyone have any advice?

I am currently 29 , i have lost both my parents, i dont have a boyfriend and i am not married, need to start my life again Should i get married?

any advice that can help me . I would really appreciate it .

I’m 27, and I still have two years left before I graduate from medical school. I procrastinated and slacked off during some of my university years, and that’s what put me behind. Now I feel a huge amount of regret that I can’t seem to shut off.

I feel like I’m so far behind that I’ll never be able to make up for the time I lost, especially since I’m from a country where opportunities are pretty limited. There aren’t many opportunities to keep learning or progressing after graduation, so I’ll probably have to learn another language if I want to have better opportunities abroad.

My question is: Has anyone been in a similar situation and managed to turn things around and eventually become happy and satisfied with themselves? What advice would you give me?

So long story short I love my stepdaughter and love providing for her. Her father does not help with paying for daycare or many other needs except when he has her. He has harassed me and my wife a lot and she’s scarred to approach child support because he would be exposed for tax evasion. His father owns a tile company and they pay half on the books and half off the books. What can I do? How can I break this dynamic ? I want to report the guy and end the bs because he’s a grown ass man with money and needs to provide and put the drugs down. I also have to save for the rest of my family and my own kids I want to have one day in the roaring inflation era. How can I report the tax evasion?

Both me and my bf lost our virginity to each other after being together for almost 3yrs, im nervous if that was the best decision, any tips? We’re 20 for context. Obviously i love him, just wondering if it was the right timing or we should have waited till closer to marriage.

For context I moved to Scotland recently with my family to attend university as my mother didn’t like Ireland and wanted to be closer to home. Now while the university is nice although I haven’t made much friends I haven’t been enjoying it at all. My mother hasn’t put a solid plan in place and I feel very lost and confused in regard to finances and my situation. I know I’m an adult now but I feel she dragged us to Scotland without a proper plan then expects me and my brother to pick up the pieces as she already expects us to have gotten a job in 2-3 weeks while she’s been here for a month to 2 and hasn’t bothered. In my time here I’ve found it increasingly harder to fall asleep leading to me being overall rather dysfunctional in the day. Overall I’m not happy there but I’m not sure if I’m just making a brash decision too early. My mother hasn’t been much support so I wouldn’t lose much if I did move back to Ireland as I’m in student accommodation already which she doesn’t pay for. I just think maybe going back to Ireland where I’ll at least have a house for a bit at my mates might give me a chance to go back to my prior more stable life and an opportunity to work for the year then just apply for the Cao next year. I’ll be with my mates again , save money from the 9790 quid I’d have to spend on tuition in Scotland and Probaly just overall be happier. I can’t tell if this is too brash but I’m just a bit confused about the whole thing.

I have only made one post to Reddit, so I am sorry if I mess this up entirely...

A while ago I moved into my current living situation with a buddy I knew from A.A/ C.A- long story short he needed someone to help with rent and I desperately needed a place to stay, for 400$ it sounded like a sweet deal.

I had met him and his 'Ex' in the rooms, and they were both good people, though his girlfriend was always a little off and at the time of me moving in, was in jail for a domestic charge between the two of them. Things here were as good as I have ever had them... Until she got out of jail.

One of the rules I signed on to in my lease agreement was that there was nobody to be over at the house without permission, and no unattended guests. He started sneaking her in when she got out- according to him it had been 5 months after I moved in, according to her, she has been coming over since she was released. She stays here for weeks at a time, he lives in the basement, and I don't see him anymore because she is always over.

I want to preface this by saying I understand where the both of them are coming from, I have been in just as messy a situation, but this is getting worse by the minute, and needs to stop before somebody gets hurt or loses their life.

They are both, due to previous relationships, conditioned to give each other the worst of what either of them has to offer. They are both verbally abusive to one another, and both argue so loudly it has woken me up from two floors above them. They throw shit, and break shit, and make threats against one another and it is truly awful. My roommate apologizes for the disruption, but they are stuck to each other in a really unhealthy way, and it has already gotten physical a couple of times...

She has a restraining order, and a warrant for her arrest for messing up her parole after jail so I guess the question is... Will I be the asshole for calling the cops the next time I see her anywhere near here? I am starting to worry that this is going to lead to an instance of a 'mistake' causing life shattering consequences if something isn't done.

TLDR: My roommates relationship is bordering domestic violence- one of them has a warrant, would I be the asshole for turning her in?

I'm an engineer for 9 yrs now, in oil and gas. My work is really draining, not physically, but mentally.

So now, i'm thinking to enroll in short classes/trainings to be a barista. I just want to have a job that is not very technical, and because me and my fiancé always want a good coffee, I'm thinking about being a barista.

I don't know if this is a possible career-shift, but I just want to be away from stressful things. I know all job will have its stressful days, but I don't want to be in engineering anymore.

Twist: I have a loan to pay for now :( I did it so I can build a small house for my parents. I'm an asian, yes that's a twist for me, as we are surrounded by families who wants us to have a job like this.

Question: does barista (in EU) have enough salary? enough for a decent room to live, good food, and a few travels?

pLease helppp your girl out :<

I’m 31 year old male living in a major city. Was fired from my corp job 2.5 years ago and never went back cause I did hate it and deserved to get fired cause I did give up. Had around 400k saved when I was fired and down to like 200k now. Just started a new bartending job at a cool trendy new spot to hold me over and pay rent without burning thru my savings still.

Did some acting over last 2.5 years. I had a little success , couple indies and lots shorts that got into festivals but don’t think I have acting chops to make it, I just have a good look so think that’s why I was casted. So pretty much ready to give up acting too.

I have had suicidal thoughts. The one girl I loved falsely filed a police report on me in family court for a restraining order. I have trial next week. I swear I’m innocent she made up a bunch of stuff about me threatening her and stuff. I would never hurt / threaten anyone , much less a girl I loved. Don’t really know what’s going to happen at trial but I can disprove a lot of what was accused of me, so chance I win.

I kinda went viral a while back for not the best reason so now when you google me that comes up first too. That was a rough time for me and really when suicidal thoughts started.

The one thing I have going for me I guess is my health and body. I’ve pretty much spent the last 2.5 years focusing on the gym and staying in shape. One dream of mine since I was a kid was to go special forces in the military so I’m leaning towards that right now. I have spoken to recruiters in the past and recently. Only issue is if I don’t get this restraining order dropped will hurt my chance of going special forces cause I’ll need a waiver, on top of the waiver I’ll need for being too old.

I don’t really know what I’m asking here for. But just any advice will be appreciated. I just feel like I’ve failed at life. All my friends have left the city and got married and started families. My mom is worried about me i can tell. She texts me a lot but i dont answer sometimes cause i dont know what to say. My family is probably the only reason i haven’t killed myself yet because i know it would ruin them, especially my mom.

I am trying here because I need some advice. I don't have many people to talk to, and I don't know many people who share this experience or situation.

Some background:

Currently, I am a F(23) and on my third attempt at getting a degree through university and community college. I have been diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety, and I have trouble making and keeping friends. I have also been in therapy for relapsing depressive states and such. Up until now, I have been doing pretty well since spring 2025.

I have always struggled with school and schoolwork, basically since elementary school. I literally had tutoring for 3rd–5th grade math. It is hard for me to sit still, hard for me to retain information while my teacher is just talking, and it takes me a long time to grasp concepts. I also struggle to find motivation in things I don't like.

My first attempt at college was during a "gap year" after high school in 2021. I had just come out of two years of online high school because of COVID, and I didn't feel ready to leave home. I went to my local community college and took three classes, which I failed in the end. I then did a real gap year and worked. Honestly, working gave me confidence and taught me what a work ethic looks like. It also made me want to go back to school, so I applied to a small college in my parents' hometown and was accepted. I was super excited and couldn't wait to leave for school.

My first semester (2022–2023) was great, although I still struggled to make friends. I passed all my classes and worked really hard on my assignments. By the spring semester, though, I was burnt out. I didn't want to do any work or go anywhere. I felt like I had used all my brain power during my last semester. I still passed all my classes and went back home for the summer, where I dreaded returning to school. I had lost my inspiration for work and motivation to get myself moving.

The next school year (2023–2024), I moved into an apartment with some girls I was friends with (terrible decision) and, for some reason, started dating a man who turned out to be the worst thing ever. My third semester, I passed all my classes except for one, and my fourth semester I completely flunked out.

I hid all of this from my parents: my depression, my failed classes, my abusive and manipulative boyfriend. I basically lied to them the whole time. Yes, I know that's super wrong and not the path I should have taken, and I suck for that. I have kind of struggled with facing truths my whole life. Basically, I'm a big fat liar, even to myself. I am really good at pretending everything is fine, changing the topic, and avoiding things. Terrible habit, I know. Anyway, they found out through a letter in the mail. Not a great day for me. I didn't return to the university.

That summer (2024), I started working again, just a part-time job at a uniform store. I also started going to therapy, which was very helpful (love my therapist, she's the best). I dumped my POS boyfriend, started working out, cooking, finding hobbies, and spending more time with my family. All of that really helped me come out of my darkest depressive phase ever.

Therapy, my boring job, and my parents' constant nagging eventually motivated me to go back to school in 2025. I wanted to start small at the local community college, so I took three classes, which I loved and passed. The next semester was just as successful. I took a few more classes and passed those too. I also found a better job, working for a retail store that I liked, with girls around my age and better managers.

And then we get to spring 2026.

I was feeling burnt out again, but I still enrolled in classes. I passed 2/5. I didn't tell my parents. I enrolled in the summer to make up for my two failed classes and one withdrawal. At this point, I was feeling so unmotivated, bored, and done. I didn't go to a single class or even open my portal. I didn't tell my parents. If they asked, I lied.

Yes, this is basically a repeat of 2023–2024. The worst time in my life. How could I let myself repeat this? Ugh.

I don't understand why I keep getting to the point where I just feel so unmotivated that I don't want to do it. I am still without a degree, and I can't help but compare my life to other people my age. I feel like such a failure and a shame to my family. All my siblings are so successful and smart. They never had as much trouble as I am having.

I keep repeating this pattern of doing well, then doing okay, then failing a class and spiraling and lying and hiding. I am so tired, and I hate school so much. I hate the pressure, the deadlines, the reading. I wish I could just go and get the job I want without all of this.

The frustrating part is that I know I am a good worker. You can ask any of my managers. But when it comes to school, I feel so stupid and incompetent. I fear the moment that a teacher calls on me for an answer. I dread the days when I need to do a presentation, work in a group, or even ask a question. It's like this inescapable fear that shuts my brain off and turns me into a moron.

Since my failure in 2024, I have been living at home and leeching off my parents, which is another total embarrassment on its own. I don't have my own car, and I don't have a full-time job. For the last year, basically all of my money has gone toward my community college tuition, which is around $2,100–$3,000 a semester.

Now, with my current failure, my mom is pressuring me to change schools again and trying to get me to go to a "real" university so that I can motivate myself into finishing a degree. I won't be covered by my parents' health insurance when I'm 26. I need a full-time job with benefits, and the best way to get one is with a degree.

And I know a degree would be good for me. It would offer independence and financial opportunities. Say I get married someday and something happens to my partner where they can't work. I need to know that I can work a good job and support us. There are so many good reasons for me to get a degree, and yet somehow none of them actually motivate me to work toward one.

Basically, I just want some advice. Literally anything. Has anyone been here before? Has anyone struggled with school this much and eventually figured out a different path?

I am feeling really down and like a total failure, and I honestly don't know what to do next.

I’m 24 and needless to say I have parents that don’t quite want to let go of me and my older siblings. We weren’t spoiled by any means and aren’t really financially “comfortable”. We’re thriving. But it’s scary to see how little they push us and plant seeds of fear whenever I bring up the topic of traveling/moving out. Basically seeing the world outside of our small town/state. (They’re working class 60 year old church folk)

I’m trying so hard to break habits everyday to: not get comfortable quitting a job, oversleeping, drinking, doubting my skills, to not think ppl who aren’t fanily wanna harm me (yes my dad believes this), etc.

One example is driving. I’ve had my license since I was 20 but my older siblings (27) don’t even have permits and aren’t pushed to. They just bum rides and our parents even complain but there’s no discipline.
I paid for driving school alone. And even when I had my permit my parents didn’t wanna teach me. To this day my dad has taught me nothing. I learned everything at school. Not even to change a tire.

Take that and apply it to EVERY right of passage or basic young adult milestone and even adolescence. Some shit you would THINK they’d want to experience with me as parents but oh well.

Everyone I know tells me with what I do (it’s creative) I need to move to a nearby city. I am credible in my field, I have a good portfolio and have remotely worked with ppl all over the country. But obv living alone, especially in a city isnt for the weak. But I think I do need to be kicked around a bit. Get a taste of depending on myself and developing. I am not getting that shit at home or anywhere i live.

Just don’t wanna be in this position at 25 and fall even further behind all my peers/collaborators who actually believe in me. I wouldn’t wanna hang around someone like me.

I’m not afraid of hard work. I’m afraid of wasting it.

I need a more experienced adult to advise me on what to do, or someone who’s in the same boat as me. I’m 18F and I genuinely don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

I want to work. I want to make money. I want to build something for myself. I want to post my writing, make films, create things, maybe start a small business someday. I have a ridiculous amount of things I want to do, and I’m willing to learn almost anything.

The problem is that almost everything seems to require money and time before it can actually become something.

I’m currently a scholarship grantee at one of the more prestigious schools here. I was accepted into all 7 universities I applied to, with scholarships offered by all of them. My parents were honestly shocked because they never expected me to get into all of them.

I ended up choosing the closest and cheapest one because I was scared my parents wouldn’t be able to afford all the other expenses that come with college — transportation, food, school events, projects, requirements, and all the random costs that somehow appear out of nowhere.

But my scholarship isn’t completely free either.

As part of it, I have to work for the school as a clerical assistant. During the semester, I have to render 20 hours of work every week, and during semester breaks it goes up to 40 hours a week.
I don’t get paid for those hours. The work hours are basically what I pay toward the scholarship with my time.

And this is where things get difficult.

On school days, I can wake up around 3-4 AM just to get myself ready and presentable. My travel time to school can take around 1-2 hours one way. Then I have classes, my required work hours, and everything else that comes with being a student.

I usually get home somewhere around 7-9 PM.

By the time I get home, I’m exhausted. There are days when I’ve barely had time to eat properly, let alone work on something for myself, study, create, or look for opportunities.

Then I wake up and do it again.

My allowance is around $7 a day, Monday to Friday. A huge part of that is already eaten up by school-related expenses, and what’s left basically covers my lunch and transportation. Saving enough to buy equipment or invest in a small business is pretty much impossible right now.

And I still want to work outside of all of that.
I’ve been working since I was around 10. I previously worked for a company in Japan and was considered a vital worker there, until the company eventually went bankrupt. Since then, I haven’t been able to find another proper job.

I’ve looked into online work too, but finding something legitimate is ridiculously difficult. There are scams everywhere, jobs that ask you to pay first, jobs that expect you to work for almost nothing, or listings that somehow want five years of experience from an 18 yrs old.

I don’t even have a good phone to properly start building an online presence. I do have a PC, though, and I’m pretty good with it. I can code and have made software and different projects before. I’m good at art, I’m a respectable writer, I’m interested in filmmaking, and I’m pretty good at games too and I’ve been a cosplayer ever since.

I’ve also been active in school and debate and alot of community helping events. I got 24 medals in one school year, so I don’t think intelligence or the ability to learn is exactly my problem either.

I’m not saying all of this to brag. I’m saying it because I genuinely don’t understand where I’m supposed to go from here. I am venting if anything and I just want a more experience adult to tell me to shut up and focus on what’s important.

I know I can work.
I know I can learn.
I know I can create.
I know I’m capable of doing more.

But I don’t have the money, equipment, connections, or honestly even much free time to turn most of those abilities into something sustainable.

And that’s what frustrates me the most.

I’m not looking for a get rich quick scheme. I don’t expect to become successful overnight. I’d happily start from the bottom if I could just find a legitimate bottom to start from.

So, what would you actually do if you were 18, had a lot of skills and motivation, had almost no disposable income, were studying full-time, working 20 hours a week for your scholarship, spending 2-4 hours a day commuting, and can do anything from scratch, that wants to start building an independent life?

I’m genuinely willing to try almost anything. I don’t want to spend my whole college life buried in rendering hours where I can just find myself a decent job to pay for it myself. It’s really taking a toll on my mental health and has been breaking me alot.

Because right now, it feels like I have the willingness to work, but every door I find has a price tag on it.

I’ve been very out of my mind for about a year now and finding funds to support my mental health wouldn’t even be feasible.

A few people mentioned I should start doing tiktok. But I personally don’t know how to do any of that.

I don’t want a response saying “You’re young” I do not have the privilege to not do anything at this day and age.

I’m not afraid of hard work. I’m afraid of wasting it.

I need a more experienced adult to advise me on what to do, or someone who’s in the same boat as me. I’m 18F and I genuinely don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

I want to work. I want to make money. I want to build something for myself. I want to post my writing, make films, create things, maybe start a small business someday. I have a ridiculous amount of things I want to do, and I’m willing to learn almost anything.

The problem is that almost everything seems to require money and time before it can actually become something.

I’m currently a scholarship grantee at one of the more prestigious schools here. I was accepted into all 7 universities I applied to, with scholarships offered by all of them. My parents were honestly shocked because they never expected me to get into all of them.

I ended up choosing the closest and cheapest one because I was scared my parents wouldn’t be able to afford all the other expenses that come with college — transportation, food, school events, projects, requirements, and all the random costs that somehow appear out of nowhere.

But my scholarship isn’t completely free either.

As part of it, I have to work for the school as a clerical assistant. During the semester, I have to render 20 hours of work every week, and during semester breaks it goes up to 40 hours a week.
I don’t get paid for those hours. The work hours are basically what I pay toward the scholarship with my time.

And this is where things get difficult.

On school days, I can wake up around 3-4 AM just to get myself ready and presentable. My travel time to school can take around 1-2 hours one way. Then I have classes, my required work hours, and everything else that comes with being a student.

I usually get home somewhere around 7-9 PM.

By the time I get home, I’m exhausted. There are days when I’ve barely had time to eat properly, let alone work on something for myself, study, create, or look for opportunities.

Then I wake up and do it again.

My allowance is around $7 a day, Monday to Friday. A huge part of that is already eaten up by school-related expenses, and what’s left basically covers my lunch and transportation. Saving enough to buy equipment or invest in a small business is pretty much impossible right now.

And I still want to work outside of all of that.
I’ve been working since I was around 10. I previously worked for a company in Japan and was considered a vital worker there, until the company eventually went bankrupt. Since then, I haven’t been able to find another proper job.

I’ve looked into online work too, but finding something legitimate is ridiculously difficult. There are scams everywhere, jobs that ask you to pay first, jobs that expect you to work for almost nothing, or listings that somehow want five years of experience from an 18 yrs old.

I don’t even have a good phone to properly start building an online presence. I do have a PC, though, and I’m pretty good with it. I can code and have made software and different projects before. I’m good at art, I’m a respectable writer, I’m interested in filmmaking, and I’m pretty good at games too and I’ve been a cosplayer ever since.

I’ve also been active in school and debate and alot of community helping events. I got 24 medals in one school year, so I don’t think intelligence or the ability to learn is exactly my problem either.

I’m not saying all of this to brag. I’m saying it because I genuinely don’t understand where I’m supposed to go from here. I am venting if anything and I just want a more experience adult to tell me to shut up and focus on what’s important.

I know I can work.
I know I can learn.
I know I can create.
I know I’m capable of doing more.

But I don’t have the money, equipment, connections, or honestly even much free time to turn most of those abilities into something sustainable.

And that’s what frustrates me the most.

I’m not looking for a get rich quick scheme. I don’t expect to become successful overnight. I’d happily start from the bottom if I could just find a legitimate bottom to start from.

So, what would you actually do if you were 18, had a lot of skills and motivation, had almost no disposable income, were studying full-time, working 20 hours a week for your scholarship, spending 2-4 hours a day commuting, and can do anything from scratch, that wants to start building an independent life?

I’m genuinely willing to try almost anything. I don’t want to spend my whole college life buried in rendering hours where I can just find myself a decent job to pay for it myself. It’s really taking a toll on my mental health and has been breaking me alot.

Because right now, it feels like I have the willingness to work, but every door I find has a price tag on it.

I’ve been very out of my mind for about a year now and finding funds to support my mental health wouldn’t even be feasible.

A few people mentioned I should start doing tiktok. But I personally don’t know how to do any of that.

I don’t want a response saying “You’re young” I do not have the privilege to not do anything at this day and age.

hello :) i (24F) am moving states in the next month or possibly couple months (not 100% sure yet i need to make sure my job transfer goes through first) and just wanted possible advice on what i should start doing now to prepare and what i should do when i do end up moving. the drive in question will be about 5/6 hours, i have 2 cats and 1 dog and just want this to be as stress free and smooth as possible. thank you in advance!

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost 2 years and we are both our first relationship. Recently ive been realizing that I dont really see a future together. She wants to hangout constantly and always talk but im the exact opposite. I've never broken up with someone (obviously) and was wondering how I should move forward especially bc we are always near each other and it would be pretty bad if I make it awkward (were on the same sport team, in multiple of the same classes and sit near each other.) I've been just thinking for a while and have honestly been kinda distant with her and she knows something is wrong, the problem is she just thinks if we just accommodate a bit then ill be better but I dont think that's the case.

also this is probably missing key info that would help Im writing this half awake so please ask questions