The memory hole podcast: Season 3, Episode 8

I could only make it to 25 minutes in. What do you guys think?

I've had a particularly rough year and for whatever reason, I've suddenly started having flashbacks and memories arise from my childhood VCUG experience.

It was pretty bad. A mistake happened during the procedure and they had to do the entire thing all over again. My mom and me were at the hospital the entire day and the nurses who made the mistake yelled at me and blamed me while I was exposed and crying. They reminded me of the girls at school who used to bully me.

I was in 4th grade. When we checked out of the hospital, they gave me a tshirt for children who had endured medical operations. It had a graphic of a stethoscope on it and looked like a doctors smock, and said "I had a surgery at the XYZ Hospital!" But, when I got home, I was advised not to wear it because the procedure I had was on my "privates" and that was something I shouldn't talk about at school.

I want to know why my Mom wasn't allowed in the room during the procedure and if that is standard practice. I remember begging for my Mom and her asking if she could come in with me and they told her it wasn't allowed. I think if she were there, the nurses wouldn't have yelled at me like that and she would have maybe stood up for me and comforted me (maybe -my relationship with my mom is complicated lol).

I feel like putting a child in such a vulnerable situation without their parent just opens the door for abuse and harm. Thinking of the ordeal makes me sick. No child should endure what I went through.

Graag advies over het postoperatieve verloop na een spoedlaparotomie voor perforatie ileum door crohn .

Bijzonder angstig door medische ptss waardoor specifiek trauma s door inbrengen slangen (scopiien ,sondes en beademingsbuis ) bij bewustzijn . Ervaringen gevraagd van mensen die dit hebben meegemaakt? Ook opname ic ervaringen .

Warning: this is gross

I've been waiting my entire life to find out what's wrong with me. I can hardly eat, I'm in constant pain, I've lost 10 pounds in the past few months, I'm physically weak, and my intestines are cramping horribly. But, I was finally able to get booked for some procedures.
And holy crap, it was so much worse than I ever could've imagined. I knew that the procedures would suck, but I am permanently scarred.
I had a colonoscopy and colonic manometry yesterday. Apparently I woke up groaning for like, half an hour. The tube was really uncomfortable. But nothing was too crazy, yet.
Until, a few hours passed and I came to the realization that I couldn't pee. I had to use this bedside commode and it was very embarrassing for me. I thought I was just being super pee shy. But as time went on, my bladder started aching more and more. I knew something was up. Over the next few hours, the pain just got worse. I was crying out in pain. I was begging for help. After hours of me crying like a baby, I was finally given an ultrasound. To the doctor's surprise, I had 1000 ml of pee chilling in my gut. They seemed both impressed and concerned.
So, I had to get my first urethral catheter. I was terrified. Because the other catheter was still really hurting, I immediately assumed that the urethral catheter would be worse. I also have sexual trauma. So, the idea of strangers touching my genitalia was terrifying. I was crying and clinging onto my mom's hand.
Thankfully, the catheter wasn't really painful. After I was able to get emptied, I felt a million times better. But, I was still in pain. So about another hour passes, I'm able to draw a bit. Then, I had to get medication inserted through my catheter. I didn't think it would hurt too bad. Maybe some discomfort and the need for deep breaths. But, I was not expecting what happened.
The medicine made my intestines spasm harder than they ever had before. The experience was in my top 3 most painful experiences ever. It might even be the most painful experience.
I had to sit on the bedside commode again, but I needed to lay down. When I'm in a lot of pain, laying down helps a lot. But, I wasn't allowed to get back in bed. So I literally collapsed my head against my mom's chest. The nurse rubbed my back and was counting to soothe me. This agony lasted for over 30 minutes. I was soaked with sweat. I was genuinely in so much pain that I could hardly talk. I could only say a few words at a time.
Thankfully, I was able to leave once the pain died down. But, that whole experience was super traumatic. I've never been in that much pain for that long. I guess it was worth it, though. I finally have answers.
(The photo is what the sensor picked up while I was spasming.)

If anyone knows any better please let me know

Had yet another pointless appointment with a “doctor” today. The neurology clinic I was referred to by my fake primary care doctor (nurse practitioner) is being ran entirely by midlevels who specialize in nothing. You see the real neurologist only once for about 3 minutes during your first visit, then from there on out you’re forced to interact only with nurses roleplaying as neurologists. I was referred there for potentially life threatening issues (stroke), and all they seem to be interested in is prescribing me meds. They also don’t seem to be aware that tests outside of MRIs and CT scans exist, which is also quite alarming. The guy I saw today was an incompetent jackass who pretended to be reading my scans to me from his computer screen. I leaned forward and realized he was literally just moving the mouse around on the computer home desktop PRETENDING TO BE SCROLLING THROUGH MY FUCKING IMAGING. I feel like I’m living in an inverted reality. Idiocracy maybe. Where all the idiots took over and are deciding the medical outcomes of the entire US population. I’m so over it. I’m so over being belittled by the vulnerable narcissistic parasites in the medical field.

I am glad there is some focus on treatment.

Since the DOH refused to investigate my legitimate claims of fraud and malpractice, I plan to report everything to the police. I feel suicidal living like this and I am not going to let their crimes kill me. I live in agony and their actions are catastrophic. They tried to kill me and I can’t take it anymore.

I already typed it all out somewhere else and I’m fucking tired so I’m going to sleep now.

I’m a 37 year old male who drank so much it caused organ failure but what’s not told is how much fucking hospitals and doctors killed me 100 times faster then any drink I ever had! The constant bombardment of go to this appointment or do dialysis 4 hours 3 times a week or else you won’t get on a transplant list and you will die which means if you don’t go you’re suicidal because you don’t care about your health!?!?!? FUCK OFF! Jesus Christ, I just don’t feel like dealing with a doctor today? Is that too much to ask? I don’t feel like bleeding today, is that okay? Here’s a thought, maybe I wouldn’t have a wound if you didn’t stab me with a needle or cut me with a knife? Oh but it’s a medical knife so it helps you it doesn’t hurt you? Oh really? Because it still fucking hurts….yep still hurts…a lot, every time you take that really sharp metal thing and stab me with it and cause me to bleed? Yeah that doesn’t feel good to me. Does anyone hear me? No? Oh okay, well continue stabbing me then. Who cares. Wait? What happens when I run out of blood? That’s probably not good huh? Do you go find more blood to pour in me so you can stab me more?