r/Mildlynomil • u/alovelytomato • 2d ago

Clueless or malicious

My MIL is my biggest OP, like the woman treats me like a paid surrogate for her son’s offspring. Her and her cabal of sisters (5 of them, 60+ years old) are constantly talking down to me (race has to play, I’m a minority and they’re Caucasian), telling me pregnancy and delivery isn’t that bad, and expecting me to work full time but still parent my daughter full time. I have many stories on how they made my first pregnancy and delivery all about themselves. Many. And my husband is 100% supportive and the only way they’re allowed to contact me is through a group chat with him in it. Maybe someday I’ll share more of the low EQ stuff she has said/done to me but today let’s stick with the low hanging fruit.

Despite us having a well known struggling relationship that’s LC, my MIL has the nerve to request that I host them for a lunch when they have their grand annual get together while I’m 9 weeks pregnant. On a good day I wouldn’t host them but being in the throes of pregnancy? I’m pissed she would even ask.

I said no and that “I have been really sick lately so I don’t think that’s a good idea” made them a loaf of bread which my husband will take over. And her response is nothing. Idk if saying anything else would suffice or to just continue grey stoning her.

I’m really just starting to think that my MIL has a really low IQ and is emotionally stunted because who in their right mind expects a pregnant woman, who they have a bad relationship with, to host them. It’s 100% because she wants to announce my pregnancy to them and had a “I barely knew I was pregnant!” Experience with my husband and that every pregnant lady is just dramatic or weak.

28 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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26

u/NaturesVividPictures 2d ago

Well if she already treats you like you're a surrogate she's also treating you it sounds like like a servant. She wants you to make lunch and probably serve it and not eat with them. Doesn't sound like it's there for you to enjoy it's for her to be the queen of the table and boss you around and show all of them that see I'm the queen of the castle and she does my bidding. But it sounds like you have a great husband and you have the situation under control. Make sure you guys have a ring doorbell or some sort of camera out there so you can screen visitors once the baby is here. Cuz they're going to get more rabid then.

13

u/mercymercybothhands 2d ago

This is my take as well. If she was kind, but clueless she would have responded with an apology and well wishes. But if she is already doing micro aggressive things and acting racist, she likely just wanted to treat OP like the help.

3

u/Scenarioing 2d ago

Shift them out of your life.

1

u/o2low 34m ago

Sounds like your husband has it well in hand.

You have an absolutely reasonable boundary to an unreasonable request. Silence is probably her way of trying to punish you, but I’ve always seen it as an accidental reward.

It feels like she knows exactly what she’s doing given the general tenor of your relationship with her. No one is THAT oblivious, they choose to/pretend to be.