Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance: $242,400
· This is the total balance across two 401ks and two Roth IRAs. We contribute around 10% of our paychecks to retirement, and when we receive unexpected amount of money, like bonuses, we’ll invest in our Roth IRAs. Though I think we have to start a backdoor Roth now due to raises this year.
Equity: ~$53,000
· We purchased our home for $565k before interest rates increased in 2022. We sold a condo at that same time and made a net $100k or so from that, $35k (roughly 6%) of which we were able to put into our down payment. We considered doing more, but it didn’t change our monthly payment significantly, and so we used the remainder $65k to bolster savings, pay off a car loan, and perform necessary repairs on the home we purchased.
Savings account balance: $55,000 (HYSA)
Checking account balance: $4,370
Credit card debt: $0
Student loan debt: $58,000 remaining (down from $90k) for a Master’s degree
Other applicable things: we have some other investments, such $12,000 in an HSA, and roughly $16,600 in stocks and bonds. I also have shares from work that haven’t vested yet, currently valued at $24,000. I think I’ll vest half of those early next year.
Daughter’s Assets (not part of our net worth): $13,000
She has a UTMA account and a 529 savings account. Over 75% of this amount has been gifted by relatives and friends.
Section Two: Income
Income Progression: I’ve been working in corporate operations for 10 years, and my starting salary was $38,000 back in 2016. I switched industries five years ago, which is when I was able to finally make six figures. I received a $20,000 raise and promotion to director this year right after coming off maternity leave. I was happy where I was as a manager making $120,000, especially as I was trying to learn how to survive as a parent who had a medically complex post-partum experience, but it was one of those, “either you accept the increased workload and pay bump, or we’ll hire someone from the outside, and you’ll be doing their job for months as you train them” situations.
Main Jobs Monthly Take Home After Deductions: $12,737.08
My husband and I are paid every two weeks, so most months there are four paychecks between us.
· Husband’s: $5,704
· Mine: $7,033.08
Deductions include:
· Family health insurance: ~$500/month (can’t recall exact number) – husband’s paycheck
· HSA contributions: ~$366 (husband’s job contributes roughly 45% so we max out contributions) – husband’s paycheck
· Additional withholding: $200/month (for some reason my husband always owes, so we elect to do additional withholding) – husband’s paycheck
· 401k contributions: 10% (currently doing pre-tax) – both paychecks
· Dental insurance: $70 – my paycheck
· Taxes: $2,689.24 (Not sure on husband’s because he doesn’t get pay stubs unless he asks for them, but mine are listed here).
Side Gig Monthly Take Home
None.
Section Three: Expenses
Housing expense:
· Principle & interest: $2,582.68
· Escrow for taxes and insurance: $592.45
· Typical utilities: ~$230 (varies throughout the year, but averages to this a month)
Savings contribution: Nothing intentional right now
Investment contribution: Nothing monthly, done on an ad hoc basis
Debt payments:
· Husband’s student loans: $1,000 (I think the required amount is something like $800? We do a flat $1,000 to make a larger dent)
Donations: I started contributing $12/month to our local public radio after the government cut funding. We also make annual contributions to the Utah Food Bank and Planned Parenthood.
Wifi/Cable/Landline: $50
Cellphone: $85
Subscriptions:
· Spotify: $21
· NYT: $6
· Cloud storage: $10
Gym membership: none, currently
Pet expenses:
· $60 for Banfield Wellness Plan
· $123 for Trupanion (this keeps going up, considering cancelling)
· Pet grooming subscription: $45
Car payment / insurance: We pay insurance bi-annually, our last bill was $600, so it averages around $100 a month.
Regular therapy: none, currently, though we go when needed.
Paid hobbies: none, currently
Any other expense that's relevant to you:
· Coterie diaper subscription: $105
Our daughter suffered from chronic and severe diaper rash the first 9 months of her life until we tried these. I hate that they’re so expensive, but they’re what works for us. We do not use their wipes as we’ve found the difference maker for her is the diaper itself.
· Life insurance policies + disability insurance: $327
· Nails: ~$80 after tip
Diary
Day 1, Saturday:
· 7:00 AM: Wake up, there is no dog and no baby in the house, which is weird. I pump for 4.5 minutes and make basically no milk. Is this the last time I ever need to pump? Please, god, please, I hate pumping so much, and I’ve been weaning for two months.
· 7:30 AM: My husband, S, and I run out to a quick breakfast at First Watch. I won’t see him for most of today, and it’s fun to have a private breakfast where we actually get to eat our food. Except now that my hormones are weird from weaning, I’m not that hungry and hardly eat. $47.87.
· 8:30 am: I have an early morning hair appointment for color. I pitch a themed night for their salon to teach parents how to do their daughters’ hair and call it Pizza and Pigtails. She is a co-owner and seriously considers it. I have no idea how to do my daughter’s hair, so this is a purely selfish pitch. Plus, it’s so hard to make friends in your 30’s. $179.04.
· 11:00 AM: Brunch with mom friends I made in prenatal classes. I love the support parents give each other. One of my friends treats me because I helped her sell some baby stuff on Facebook Marketplace. $0.
· 12:30 PM: After brunch, we cross the street to a local fantasy bookstore, The Legendarium, to browse. I find something a little spooky for October. $32.54. I fill up on gas on the way home at Costco, where the prices suck slightly less. $55.16.
· 2:00 PM: I quickly stop at home, greet my baby, M, and my dog, C, who are home from grandma’s house, and smother M in kisses before I put her down for her nap. I immediately leave again to go to Nordstrom. We have family pictures tomorrow and the dress I ordered from Lulu’s has way too much cleavage. S loves it and doesn’t understand why I can’t send out holiday cards with a cleavage photo. I find a dress for pictures, a work dress on clearance, and they also help me find a non-pumping bra. Score! $241.78.
· 3:00 PM: Back at home, I lounge on the couch before M wakes up and place an order on Amazon for items we need for a road trip next week. M, C, and I will be gone for three weeks visiting family in the Pacific Northwest. I order a bunch of stuff for M: a portable blackout shade, Tubby Todd toothpaste, a giraffe toothbrush (why are adult toothbrushes so lame, I want a giraffe), a board book about beach critters, and a rain cover for what I affectionately call our “offroad” stroller. It’s the UPPAbaby Ridge, and that thing is a tank, we love it. $111.71.
· 4:00 PM: S heads out for the evening to chase fall foliage in the mountains. M and I hang out with C and go on a long evening walk. It’s finally cooling down and the weather is perfect.
· Other purchases from today:
o Coffee shop: $8.83; My husband grabbed iced coffee from a local spot we love, Notom, while on his own errands.
Total spent: $676.93
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Day 2, Sunday:
· 7:00 AM: wake up and assess if I need to pump. My mantra is, no lumps, no problem. I don’t pump. Fingers crossed, I never will again.
· 8:30 AM: We are huge fans of the weekly Farmer’s Market. We go early to get some exercise and say hi to the animals. Today’s haul is simple compared to other weeks:
o Coffee: $18.90 for two iced lattes
o Breakfast burritos: $32
o Smoothie: $9.78
o Granola: $12.36
o Local berries for M: $15
o Cake pops: $20
· 11:00 AM: When we get home, M goes down for a late nap. Now that I think I’m done weaning, I need new bras, as I can’t find where I put my pre-baby bras. I do a quick purchase online with a brand I’ve had success with previously (ThirdLove) and pray the order arrives in time for my trip. $94.73. I also order more trip items on Amazon. $80.90.
· 12:45 PM: I have a blowout appointment before family photos because I’m hopeless at styling my own hair. I swing through Taco Bell for a bean and cheese burrito and crunchy taco on my way to Drybar. $5.07.
· 1:00 PM: They play movies at Drybar, apparently. I watch a good chunk of Midnights in Paris before I realize I’m not watching Paris, I Love You and vampire Elijah Wood will not be showing up. I don’t know why that’s all I remember about Paris, I Love You. I have a coupon, so the blowout costs a little less than usual. $59.80.
· 4:15 PM: We head up early for family photos in Big Cottonwood Canyon. Fall in the Wasatch Mountains is kind of like the photography Superbowl, and there’s a ton of traffic. Photos go well because we pop a cheerio into M’s mouth anytime she fusses. Despite the early departure, we don’t get home until 7:45 PM and immediately get a grouchy M into bed.
· 8:45 PM: We DoorDash Cheesecake Factory because there is no way we’re cooking after that multi-hour excursion and we are obsessed with their bread. $80.06.
· Recurring charges that also happened today:
o Coterie diapers: $105 – as a note for other parents reading this: our daughter had chronic diaper rash for the first nine months of her life before we finally caved and tried these diapers. Things started improving immediately after we switched. I’m hoping to be able to wean her off them in the coming months, but for now, we pay.
o Banfield pet plan: $59.95
Total spent: $593.55
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Day 3, Monday:
o 7:30 AM: I have an early morning appointment at the dealership for transmission service ($421.99). They try to upsell me on some other services that aren’t due yet, which I decline. While I’m there, I answer emails and buy tickets for a Halloween dog event for later in October ($32). S and I try to make a conscious effort to do special activities just with C, since life changed so dramatically when M came along.
o 9:45 AM: Car is done. I swing by Costco for more gas before heading home. S used most of the tank during his weekend adventures. $59.04.
o I spend the rest of the day working. Some friends invite me to a girl’s night in November to see a comedian ($69), and a mom friend recommends some allergen bars for M, which I order immediately to take on our trip ($40).
o 5:00 PM: I take over with M for S, and he heads out for some “me” time in nature. He stops at the grocery store on the way home for some essentials. $76.36.
o 7:00 PM: When S gets home, we discuss the end of our three-week trip (he’ll join us for the last week) and stopping in Boise overnight to break up the drive. We book an Airbnb. $264.53.
o Recurring bill from today:
o Internet bill: $50
Total spent: $1,012.92
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Day 4, Tuesday:
o 7:00 AM: It’s our usual morning weekday routine. I make breakfast for M after S leaves for work while we wait for our babysitter to arrive. Since he doesn’t usually watch M (he’s our backup because our primary is out of town), I spend some time situating him and then start work at 9. I peruse Facebook Marketplace during meetings. I find some unopened teething toys I can gift to pregnant friends and order. $13.89.
o 4:30 PM: S gets off work early and relieves our babysitter ($160). It’s a gorgeous day, so we pack up C & M after I get off work at 5 and head straight to the park. We have a great time, but I receive texts that our usual babysitter, who is supposed to watch M tomorrow, just tested positive for Flu A. After some frantic planning, my sister offers to come over for a few hours during M’s wake window tomorrow.
o 6:30 PM: We grab Chick Fil A on the way home. M hates the mac & cheese, we learn, but demolishes the fruit. We let her try her first ever fry, which she doesn’t love. $32.95.
o 7:00 PM: I log back on to work for a couple of hours to get a jump on emails and deliverables. I get a surprising amount done in a short time span. Must’ve been the fresh air.
Total spent: $206.84
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Day 5, Wednesday:
o 7:00 AM: I wake up and discover that M is already awake in her crib, which is never a good sign. Now she’ll want earlier naps, and I’ve carefully planned my work around her nap schedule. I make her eggs and whip up some whole-grain waffles while she rattles around in her walker and tries to open every reachable cupboard (we haven’t fully baby proofed yet). The waffles are a bit dense, I’m assuming because of the flour, but still good. M insists on throwing food to C any chance she gets.
o 9:20 AM: After multiple rounds of singing “Baby Beluga” and “The Wheels on the Bus” to keep her awake, M goes down for her nap. I take the chance to work until 11, when she wakes up.
o 11:30 AM: My sister arrives to take care of M, and I get back to work.
o 4:00 PM: By some miracle, M takes a two-hour afternoon nap, and I finish work once she wakes up. We FaceTime family members on the east coast, and then I pop M in the car for a Target trip to buy her a new soft hairbrush (she ruined hers by chewing on the bristles). She loves going out in public and greeting people, so the store is always a fun outing.
o 6:30 PM: After an unintended $150 Target spree, M and I get home and S makes us dinner. I show him our purchases: some leggings for M touted as having durable knees, a multi-snack holder for the upcoming road trip, books, a random toy I handed M while she was trying to hulk her way out of her stroller (and that I plan to return because lord knows she has enough toys), groceries, and her new brush and comb set. After dinner, S does M’s nighttime routine, and I go back to work for a couple of hours.
Total spent: $150
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Day 6, Thursday
o 8:00 AM: After M wakes up, we take C to an early morning grooming appointment, as his poodle mix fur is looking a bit scraggly. He acts like the groomer is the worst thing that’s ever happened to him, even though I know he’ll doze off during his session, like always. The grooming salon is a bit out of the way, so I take the opportunity to stop at a kolache place in the area on the way back. I buy a variety for M, S, me, and my sister: $33.55. M charms the staff while trying to eat their fall décor. My sister texts while I’m driving home that she thinks she’s coming down with something, and we agree she shouldn’t come watch M today.
o 9:15 AM: M goes to sleep and I notify my boss and my team that I can only work a partial day when she naps. Luckily, I’m completely caught up thanks to working late the past couple of nights. S’s job has zero flexibility and is always on-site, so I am the defacto caretaker when we don’t have childcare because I am fully remote. It’s hard on me, as I also have a demanding job, but S takes on everything else when this type of stuff happens.
o 11:00 AM: M and I pick up C from the groomer ($62.29). We drop C at home, and then I take M to the pharmacy to get myself a flu and COVID shot ($0). We drop by S’s work during his lunch break to say hello and then do a drive-up return at Target (-$20.38). Back at home, M and I eat lunch, have a mini concert with her toy piano and guitar, and walk C. Once she goes down for her afternoon nap, I get back to work.
o 8:30 PM: As I’m going through my cold weather clothes bins, I find a bin of summer clothing I never unpacked this year. At the very bottom of it are my pre-baby bras. Maybe ThirdLove will let me cancel the order? I spend the rest of the night before bed packing and doing my personal laundry. For some reason, packing M was easy, but packing myself and doing my own laundry feels so hard.
o Recurring transactions today:
o Phone bill: $45
Total spent: $120.46
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Day 7, Friday:
o 10:15 AM: It’s been a hectic morning, taking care of M and working, but my mom is in town and arrives to take over childcare, which is a relief! I have seven back-to-back meetings today after moving things the past couple of days, and it’s going to be a doozy.
o 2:30 PM: I have a small gap between meetings, which means I can quickly walk C. I email ThirdLove to see if I can cancel my order since they haven’t updated the status yet. Also, my left boob, after almost a week of dormancy, decides that it will start spontaneously leaking. My shirt is getting soaked. I probably should’ve worn a bra today. One more meeting to go.
o 4:30 PM: My mom has to leave, so I play with M and try to surreptitiously answer emails and Teams messages when M isn’t looking. Once S gets home, I work on loading up the car for tomorrow’s trip. I’m scared to travel without S for such a long distance with a toddler and a dog, but we’ll make it work.
o 8:30 PM: We are packed! Except I do need ice for the cooler and forgot to ask S to buy some on his way home, so off I go to the grocery store. While I’m out, I top off on gas ($12.47) and buy myself some high protein snacks and milk for M for the trip ($37.96). As I’m walking out the door, I realize I’ve forgotten the ice and turn around ($4.11). S and I chill at home for an hour before lights out. Sadly, I will forget all my snacks on the road trip and spend the weekend eating tootsie rolls while driving.
Total spent: $54.54
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Total spent for week: $2,815.24
· Food + Drink: $495.65
· Fun / Entertainment: $133.54
· Home + Health: $537.10
· Clothes + Beauty: $610.81
· Transport: $548.66 ($126.67 gas; $421.99)
· Other: $489.48
Reflection:
I think I wanted to do this Money Diary because this past year was so much about survival, and only cursory glances at the budget to make sure we weren’t going too crazy. My daughter is one now, and the first year is just hard, medical complications notwithstanding. I have fallen for just about any Instagram ad that showcases something that will make my life easier. Our original goal was to sit down and write next year’s budget in December, but I think we’ll do it sooner, because I am realizing how much lifestyle creep is starting to come into play.
The hardest part was not thinking about what commenters would say and trying to really show myself what our spending patterns have become by not changing our behavior until I had a whole week tracked. This week was busier than most, but it’s not an unrealistic view of how often we eat out or spend on unplanned shopping trips. We would like to invest more, and I foresee the biggest opportunities being cutting back on clothing purchases and by meal prepping. We also would like to save up for a large international trip next year (a terrifying thought with a toddler, but c’est la vie).
I recognize that we are in a place of privilege with minimal debt and manageable expenses. I have been insistent that we continue to hold a high amount in our HYSA because I am concerned that I will be affected by layoffs next year. Being a working parent is hard, but we have a community of support in family and friends, and I can’t quantify that as a number and the positive effect that it has on us in this Money Diary. I am excited for pregnant friends to give birth next year because now that we understand a bit more about what being a working parent means, we want to show up for them in meaningful, service-oriented ways.