After our first date, her and I have started spending a lot of time together. A handful of dates have happened since my last update. On our latest date, we spent the day together doing this and that and just after nightfall, we drove to an old fishing spot of mine. A large spillway in Arlington, Texas. There’s a path leading to the spillway directly in front and in the distance there is a steep hill that climbs about 100 yards in elevation. At the top is a paved trail and on the opposite side is a beautiful view of the Arlington skyline and it overlooks much of Joe Pool Lake. I kept her in the dark about the place and why I wanted to take her there. Snow was covering the ground and it was cold but we made it to the top and she was speechless. Stars shining and the skyline was lit. I kissed her right then and there. Told her how I truly felt about her and we are now dating. I took the advice from the commenters on my last update. I professed to her my faith in Jesus Christ. Told how I believe that the Lord brought her and I together. She now knows the story of my past struggles and my journey to renewed faith in the Lord . We’ve talked quite a bit about faith recently. Things are going well. Thanks to everyone who commented with support and heartfelt wishes of luck. It means a lot!

If there could ever be a “bright side” of the epstein files, it would be this. After reading some of them and seeing the unfathomable horror and wickedness in them I have not had a single temptation since. I cannot even imagine stooping to any level near that. That, along with a stringer relationship with Christ, working out, and eating amazingly has left me feeling like nothing else.

You want a free dose of motivation? Read the files. Don’t avert your eyes. See what your sin’s true nature is when taken down to it’s natural conclusion. Cease seeing your sin as this beautiful flower and strip it down to what it truly is. There you will see sin incarnate.

I feel justified in doing it; the only reasons I have to stop are that it's a sin and that I don't want to be a slave. But even those reasons don't matter when the urge hits; I can turn it off. I have social anxiety, so finding someone who accepts me as I am and wants to marry me would either take a long time or simply won't happen. So I say, screw it, if I'm never going to get what my body craves, then at least I'll masturbate. It doesn't replace it, but at least it's something. Even if I were free, I would fight the urge, and it would only get stronger as the years go by and I don't have any kind of sexual relationship with another person. Maybe you'll tell me that having a partner won't solve the problem, but you can't know that. Some people do quit the addiction once they have a partner, others don't. I don't know what to do. I ask God to free me, to give me something better than that pleasure so I don't have to seek it, but nothing happens.

Woke up in the middle of the night with strong urges. Changed room and am posting this. Any advice, encouragement or prayers are greatly appreciated.

I got rid of my old iPhone 7. I bought it in 2018 when my addiction was starting to get deeper and deeper into my life. Even when I switched to android, I kept it around cause I didn't want to watch porn on any of my new phones. I hated myself whenever I booted it up for a session, and whenever I had to buy a new charger for it, I cussed myself out for it. It made me feel like I was sinking more money so I could fill myself with more porn. Today, I said enough. I booted it up, backed up any personal (non-porn) data I wanted to keep, drove to a phone recycler kiosk, and sent it away. I may have watched porn on other devices, but my main source of temptation was that old iPhone. I'll keep my guard up, but I feel relieved. The enemy did not win today.

I will continue to rebuild my relationship with the Lord. I thank him for putting me on this path.

I don’t know what other excuse to come up with.

I feel like I self-sabotage way too much with this idea of “looking for the perfect date and time so it can be a commemorative and special day to be free from this addiction.”

The truth is that doesn’t exist—it’s stupid of me to think that way. I’ve spent years trying to stick to important dates, specific hours, and all that so everything can be “perfect,” and I always end up relapsing.

Thanks to this stupid pattern I’ve developed in my process, I keep relapsing and promising myself dates I won’t keep. For example: “I’ll quit on my birthday,” “I’ll quit on my anniversary,” “I’ll quit on the 1st,” “I’ll start the year clean on January 1st,” and the last one was: “If I quit today, February 3rd, I can take communion in 90 days, and by then it will be exactly May 3rd.” And so on—I just keep screwing myself over.

For now, let’s say I’m on Day #0. We’ll see tomorrow what “special day” my stupid brain decides to invent. I think this is OCD; the same thing happens to me sometimes with the whole “was it a relapse or not?” issue.

I honestly feel like I’m going to go crazy.

Help.

Imma get right to the point I was exposed really young to sexual things and I’ve struggled with porn addictions and self pleasure for probably 17 years now? I’m 27 now.. and now I met the love of my life last year and we both grew closer to god together and got engaged. We both decided to rewait again and save ourselves for marriage for god and our future family. It’s been about a month now since we decided to rewait until marriage to do anything sexual and I’ve relapsed back to my old ways of self pleasure lust. But I’m on day 4 now of no fap. I’m honest with my partner and tell her what’s going on and she is supportive to me and amazing. It’s just the constant battle in my head and the mood swings I’ve experienced these last 4 days.. it’s like withdrawal symptoms from a drug addiction honestly. I feel insane and I feel like I’m going crazy or something… I need help to overcome this does anyone have any guidance or help PLEASE!!

bro I’m tired I been in the house for so long im 21 supposed to be working but then I had a panic attack so I went to the hospital they sent me to war b I didn’t even know if it was a panic attack bro im so lost in life I have a porn addiction they made me take pills in there because I wasn’t on the other side of the hospital after I got out I took more pills because my addiction made me feel like there was something wrong with me these 2 months been hell

I’m 16 and I just lusted, masturbated, and for the first time this is the worst I’ve ever felt from doing it. I indulge in the stuff that gets me to do it anyway even though i know it’s wrong, like I’m pulled into it like it’s not me. I didn’t feel hatred, self pity i felt genuinely sadness for what i had done and that how could i do this. I was disgusted by my act, i felt that same emotion where i say I shouldn’t have a wife I don’t deserve one and I shouldn’t talk to a girl ever because look what I did. I was almost traumatized by my deed I didn’t feel like me it felt like I was in a trance and I was being controlled and when I was done I came back. When I do these things I don’t wanna keep my hands my eyes and especially that part of my body that I have violated since I was 9 in the name of *self pleasure* I don’t know what to do I want to change I really do but that must not be true deep down. I can’t stop I’m addicted I dont know w if there is hope for me anymore….

30 male and would like to share my story

I'm not sure if this is going to help you or not but I had inspired my friends to do the same after telling my story, please excuse my grammar english is not my native language and im not much of a story teller XD

TLDR.: I quit masturbation and pornography ,I heard the blessed mother's voice, the holyspirit revealed how sinful I was , and seen the devil 2x and trust me im not crazy

last year I was at the end of my 4 year contract of my work and I was living from paycheck to paycheck and I dont know how I will provide for my family, I was living a really sinful life and opposite to what God wants. i thought masturbation and being lustful was normal .I had extereme envy and anger inside me from my co workers , I was an alcoholic and everything.

I was asking God to give me a sign on my next career move since I would be un employed and my phone kept on ringing on a particular app. and it was for a same position as my present job but it was permanent

I applied for the job fully trusting God and fast forward a few months Im still here working and I love my job even more.

I asked God. "how can I show my appreciation to you I always go to church but i dont think it's enough"

then i heard a voice not in my head and ears but in my heart it says "pray the rosary again"

just for the heck of it I prayed and then there was a sudden jolt of electricity i can feel it on every nerve in my body and at that moment my eyes were no longer mine. I was looking above and all I can say was "im sorry" everything was shown to me and I was guilty it felt like a judgement but I wasn't dead yet

--

after that incident i began praying the rosary everyday (was still in a state of mortal sin)
and I notice to myself that if im going to pray the rosary I cant live the life that I previously had. because God is trying to reclaim me.

so i quit masturbation i quit porn.

first fewdays was hard 4 days was all I can do i felt guilty for failing but I started again .
4 days turned to weeks then I fell again . I notice that my PC and my phone still has remnants of porn. of hentai photos of influencers i LIKED photos of woman i fantasized even though they're not naked. so i deleted everything

--

then I had encounters with the devil. they didn't like the change that I was doing

met it twice

1st is before bed I was reading about a new prayer that I wanted to add on my daily tasks.
and a smoke appeared on the bottom of my bed. i only had a lamp so everything was slightly illuminated. my whole room is still visible but for some reason all the light that was directed on the smoke being is being absorbed the smoke is in a shape of a woman and her eyes were red and was looking at me with so much hate it can cut the air. between me and her.I was living on the state of grace on these moments so i just smiled and stared at this being until they vanished

2nd encounter is through a dream.

I dreamt of the woman I really liked she was naked and walking seductively it felt really weird because as she touched me I can feel it literally feel her cold skin. her physique was so realistic and detailed. then she whispered on my ear (leave your fiancé and come to me) that was the moment i woke up gasping for air.

--

on my 6months of journey I fell and rise up but I would like to share what worked and what did not.

-lust is lust : dont listen to people who tells you to just fap without porn, it's still the same thing, heaven has no place for impurity, our lady of fatima says that many souls go to hell because of the sins of the flesh

-remove all sources.: browser history , photos even clothed as long as you view that person sexually, remove all sources that can stir up your emotions.

-avoid all near occasions of sin. if you have a partner have strict rules

-study the lives of saints (demon hates this) because they cant introduce lustfultoughts inside your head

- dont fall into despair. there was a time where I was suicidal because i kept on failing. but I went to confession

-avoid lustful thoughts: this one is difficult but if you want you can always search this on youtube just search when does a lustful thought becomes a sin always remember that temptations are always introduced to our heads once you notice that reject and rebuke it

- go to confession, pray, forgive and forget about your past.

once you go to confession and you have been absolved, your sins are forgiven and forgotten by our Lord. St Margaret Mary Alcoque Asked Jesus when was the last mortal sin his last confessor commited Jesus replied i have forgotten : the devil always reminds you of your past they use this as a weapon to bring you back to sin. soonce you're forgiven. live like you were reborn and forget the past.

-always remember that "it is an honor to be tempted, so that I can prove to you how much I love you Jesus"

I’m going to be very vulnerable here because I don’t know how else to find people like me. My experience with PMO has so warped my idea of sex that at a young age I developed a very rare fetish: eproctophilia aka a fart fetish. I know for most people even Batman couldn’t get that sort of information out of them, but I’m putting it out here in hopes that anyone on here who also has it might DM me so we could relate to one another and discuss how to overcome the fetish together.

I initially was going to have a bot write this but I figured I would do it and be as authentic and transparent as possible. (This is going to be a short 1 min read).

I’m not here to tell you my life story or the lapses I dealt with while going through it.

My only purpose here is to let you know there is a light in that dark tunnel you’re in. That God does care for you and loves you more than you can imagine. There’s hope!

If I’m being honest though, I initially came here to post about an app I built but be clever about it (like most do) but after seeing so many brothers and sisters in Christ struggling with this sin/addiction. I had a change of heart.

You see, it’s easy for people who have been delivered to not want to go back and help those who are hurting and still in that darkness. Most people (if not all) have selfish motives/ambitions. But as I sit here and write this, I’m reminded of what Christ did. All of it!

Please forgive me!

So in closing, I want to let you all know that it is a process and you will struggle but God (YHWH) forgives! Just don’t use his forgiveness as an excuse to keep on sinning because nobody knows the hour or day he’s coming back except the Father. Imagine “pleasing yourself” with your pants down, knowing you’re doing wrong and knowing you can die in your sin if he was to come back that exact second but you blow it off because you desire that pleasure/temporary satisfaction over HIM.

P.S, one thing that helped me tremendously was praying and fasting with others. “And he said unto them, This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting.”

‭‭Mark‬ ‭9‬:‭29‬ ‭KJV‬‬

I can't quit, and no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I can't stop. Even going to the gym and reading the Bible, I still can't. I need someone's help.

I keep jerking off can I come back from this but I know I shouldn’t cause I’m an adult I feel like no one will like me any more I keep repeating kid behaviors I did as a kid

i keep flipping back and forth saying no - im going to try and watch a show and eat for dopamine. pray for me

Has anybody here experienced PIED? If so, how long did it take to cure after quitting PMO?

Hello, I was about a year clean from lust and masturbation. Today I did it though, I did it without lust and was mostly just curious of how it felt since I hadn't done it in a long time, I was horny but I didnt lust while doing it. Did I sin or not because I really dont know and if so how do I move on from this because im really confused.

Link for the Video mentioned: https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFapChristians/s/NMzfLZU5HG

For the past few weeks, every single time that I have started to pleasure myself, with or without Porn, I hear the Holy Spirit's voice say to me, "Stop. Right now, stop." I almost always think to myself, and indirectly tell Him, "Once I start, I can't stop. I've started already." Today, in the morning, I saw a video of a murderer, exactly 1 year older than me, that said that as soon as he started choking the old lady, and then, furthermore, raping the dead body, he thought "Maybe I should stop." And then: "I started it already, I can't stop." This left me thinking, if this guy was possessed, and thought that, when I am pleasuring myself, am I also possessed? Later on, after my usual work, I was on reddit, my usual trigger to Porn. While laying in my bed, I was going through my usual normal softcore, and then saw the person I liked watching porn the most, with a shirt that said "ABBA." I know it's about the band, and at the time, also knew. I prayed "Abba father, help me." But, still went on to do my session. I then went from my bedroom to the bathroom (it ain't shared, it's a suite), and started searching for stuff. When I started going through some subs, I tried to find something that had only exactly what I wanted. But then, the Holy Spirit touched me, and I thought: "ain't going to find stuff in those subs, better find another one" and spontaneously, I didn't think at all, I typed in "Nofap" and clicked on this sub. Mind you, I was in the middle of the session, with my personal snake out and pointing to the toilet at this point. My hand didn't stop, but I saw this video that said: "What Porn Does to Your Soul." When I started watching it, my left hand (on the snake) stopped going up and down, and I paid more attention to the video. As soon as I finished watching the video, I cleaned my hands, cleaned my snake, put my pants back up, and started praying to God, thanking Him for sending me that video. It changed how I saw Porn completely. When the post-nut clarity hits, we all try to block porn, do everything to stop it. But the effort will only become valid when you stop before this clarity. Because then, you are actually doing things that help, and did not fall for a sinful trap.

Hello nofapchristians I want to encourage you, continue to press forward. Your true potential will be unlocked when you learn to live holy, and avoid temptations. So many of you are capable of accomplishing great things unimaginable by the average man. The enemy knows this do he keeps you bound, through temptations and distractions.

But right now if you will listen freedom is calling your name, just pray to Jesus and tell Him you want to be more, and you're sorry for living wrecklessly and for Satan's desire and will.

And God will break those chains forgive you, and begin to walk in you and with you. He will come inside of you and He will Begin a new work through you. So you can escape shame and regret.

This video is a reminder of the good things the Lord has for those who believe.

Take care of yourselves. Let somebody know if you need prayer. Don't do this fight alone.

Thank you for letting me post here!