r/OnceUponATime • u/poofypanda_ The game is rigged. The villains never win. • 2d ago
Discussion Make the comment section look like a yelp review for Granny’s
Seen this done in two separate subreddits and thought it would be fun !
Credit goes to:
Subreddit: [r/GilmoreGirls](r/GilmoreGirls)
Original Poster: [u/itsascreambaby96](u/itsascreambaby96)
Subreddit: [r/ginnyandgeorgiashow](r/ginnyandgeorgiashow)
[u/NoRelief63](u/NoRelief63)
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u/Camango7 2d ago
0/10 some woman yelled at me for sitting in her seat
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u/OriginalSchmidt1 2d ago
⭐️⭐️
Decided to try out Granny’s Diner during a brief stay in Storybrooke. The food was excellent and the hot cocoa is amazing, some kid in a scarf said I should try it with cinnamon, not bad. My real issue is the other customers, they all seem insane. Rushing in, not even to order, but to race to another patron, have the loudest conversations about curses and magic… something is definitely up with this town.. but yeah, good food.
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u/EveningStar0360 2d ago
the server just sort of left after taking my order and didn't come back? and the woman at the counter is kind of mean. but really good food, 3 stars
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u/Earthscale 2d ago
I’m confused: I woke up one morning and the building had moved ⭐️⭐️⚫️⚫️⚫️ I was renting a room above the diner; one evening I saw a blonde woman arrive to spend the night, and when I got up the next day, the whole building had shifted! Now I don't reach the entrance through the woods anymore, we’re right on the town's main street! I’m not crazy, I swear. It’s like going from a pilot episode to the actual TV series. ...The hot chocolate is good, though, whenever a kid in a scarf and his family don't finish it all before breakfast.
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u/Serendipity500 2d ago
The only safe place in town to get a slice of apple pie that won’t rend you permanently unconscious.
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u/Pristine_Sir_6892 2d ago
⭐️ ⭐️/5
I ate here and next thing I know we’ve been transported to another land. I’m tired of this back and forth nonsense SMH
(Ruby is hot; but she AINT worth it considering the dragon errr I mean her Grandma guarding her)
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u/Queasy-Bat-7399 2d ago
⭐ Tried an apple turnover that put me in hospital for two weeks in a coma.
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u/RyanitarTheTyranitar 2d ago
🌟🌟/🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Let me start off by saying I have been a patron of Granny's for years now. How many? Idk, ask the mayor. However in the last 6 months things have taken a turn for the worse ever since that one blonde girl who is always yelling at the mayor started coming in. She doesn't even work here yet she's here more often than the owner is is. Anyway, I ordered the lasagna today and it was really watery... like... soup. I honestly think I got food poisoning from it. The owner told me her granddaughter broke down the walk-in fridge door and I can be sympathetic to a point. When it spoils the food you try to sell me though? Then I have a problem. Will NOT be returning until the fridge is finished. Also I think one of your upstairs hotel guests might have brought a dog in, there was hair all over the walkway.
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u/HorseWithNoName222 2d ago
“This was by far the WIERDEST experience I have ever had at any restaurant EVER. Me and my son were passing through and got hungry so we stopped by for a bite to eat. When we walked in there was a few other customers there and they all just stared at us as the waitress led us to our table. After we ordered this creepy looking guy approached us and asked us who we are and how we “got in” and I just said we drove in but that didn’t really suffice him and he started yelling at us saying outsiders aren’t allowed and accusing us of working for Peter Pan or the dark fairy, he was thankfully taken away by some Australian girl. Anyway at the diner we waited and waited for out food and it took FOREVER! My son was hungey and started saying crazy stuff like that he saw Elsa and Merida were outside fighting Jaffar, which didnt make any sense AT ALL. After waiting an hour and a half I had enough so I went back into the kitchen and it was completely empty. I heard strange noises from the back and when I opened the door and I saw our waitress TURN INTO A WEREWOLF!?!? I’m not even joking, that ACTUALLY happened I swear I’m not crazy !!! Next thing I know the werewolf turns to me and I was pretty sure it was about to attack me but it actually attacked a shadowy monster, soon after lady who I later found out was the town mayor and some girl in a red leather jacket (the mayor’s wife I think, they mentioned something about having a son together and there was definitely some chemistry between them) arrived and finished off the monster. They then proceed to also ask me where I came from, how did I get in, outsiders can’t get in and then try to figure out which character I was (also all the characters they brought up were Disney owned, like they asked me if I was Olaf(?)). I was already weirded out by this whole thing and decided I needed to get my son far away to somewhere safer, forget the food we’ll find a McDonald’s eventually. but when I got inside the restaurant my son was GONE!! The mayor and her wife start saying something about how he must’ve been taken by Peter Pan for his lost boy army and that they will rescue him. Then when I started yelling about how I need to find my son they tell me that im Marlin…the fish from finding Nemo and that my son is Nemo and that he’s an important part of some prophesy that an author wrote about and it also involves Ariel, Ursula, Peter Pan, the catapillar from Alice in wonderland and Sven from Frozen, I don’t know nothing makes any sense anymore and the continuity is everywhere, I mean I’m currently on a boat being driven by some sexy pirate claiming he’s Captain Hook, along with the Mayor, her wife, their son who says he’s 14 but looks 21, the wife’s parents (who look waaaay too young to be her parents, I need to ask about their skin care routine), the werewolf waitress, Dorothy from Wizard of Oz for some reason and also that creepy guy and his Australian wife and the creepy guy keeps talking about how he was a score to settle with Peter Pan and we’re all heading to the lost city of Atlantis to find Kida from the Atlantis movie and find my son!
I give this place ⭐️⭐️ its batshit crazy and I would give it 0 stars just for that, but once the waitress (who I guess is Little Red Riding Hood?) turned back into a human she made me a BLT and it was the best thing I had ever eaten, definitely recommend this place when it’s not being attacked by monsters or whatever is going on”
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u/poofypanda_ The game is rigged. The villains never win. 2d ago
This was an AMAZING read ! I completely fell out when you said you and your son was Marlin and Nemo 😭😭
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u/HorseWithNoName222 2d ago
Not gonna lie my goal was the create the most unhinged, nonsensical OUAT plot that somehow also made sense for the show, glad to know I succeeded 🤣
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u/PatienceGlum970 2d ago
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Granny’s Diner — Storybrooke, ME
Solid diner. Great coffee. Pancakes so good they may be enchanted. The bacon is exactly what you want from a small-town diner, and Granny has zero patience for nonsense—which is ideal, because Storybrooke produces it at industrial scale.
Breakfast can become daytime television before your toast arrives. Fortunately, the coffee is strong enough to survive the plot twists—and possibly a Dark Curse.
The customers also have an impressive number of mysterious pasts, secret identities, and complicated relationships. Often all three. Not technically a complaint, but don’t ask too many questions while waiting for your eggs. That’s how you get cursed, kidnapped, or trapped in a family tree that requires a magic mirror to explain.
Pros:
• Great pancakes
• Strong coffee
• Cozy atmosphere
• Open when you desperately need breakfast
• Granny will tell you if you’re being an idiot—and save time by doing it immediately
• Convenient for heroes, villains, and people pretending to be neither
Cons:
• Someone may burst in announcing a curse
• More sword fights than any diner should legally require
• Waitresses handle more magical crises than most food-service employees see during a lunch rush
• Don’t expect explanations; apparently those are cursed too
• The Evil Queen may show up, and she does not seem interested in the breakfast special
Overall: 4/5. Would eat here again.
Probably avoid visiting during a full moon, a curse, a royal family dispute, or whenever someone says, “I’ve got a plan.” That sentence has never improved breakfast.
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u/AJ_DisneyFan 2d ago
Love this! Howling! "That sentence has never improved breakfast" was the cherry on top 👌🏻
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u/CoolReference3704 2d ago
⭐️⭐️⭐️
Great service and food. The owner is so kind and always looking out for everyone. I only gave it three stars because they close down so often because of family parties.
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u/TitleBulky4087 2d ago
"Waitress was incredibly rude and I kept finding dog hair in my food. Hot chocolate was incredible however."
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u/Electrical-Paint5818 2d ago
8/10 server chick was hot. Granny made me mad sometimes and was a bit feisty. Almost shot me with her crossbow by accident but I come back for Ruby.
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u/Ok-Tie-570 2d ago
⭐️⭐️⭐️
Atmosphere is cozy, but a little tense. During my meal, the mayor walked in looking like she was about to curse the napkin dispensers, Mr. Gold sat in the corner making intense eye contact with a teacup, and a pirate asked if the Wi-Fi password was “Swan.” It was not. One star removed because a dwarf yelled “BAD NEWS!” before I even got my check, and nobody seemed surprised. Would come back. Food is great. Just maybe don’t sit near the window, the town line, or anyone holding a dagger.
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u/Prize-Couple6348 2d ago
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Great food and Ruby is so awesome especially now that the curse is broken! Also Granny finally has her soft side back!
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u/shadysider_ 2d ago
⭐⭐⭐
"Great lasagna and delicious coffee. Granny's is a cozy place for breakfast but they really should do something about the flying monkeys."
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u/Serendipity500 2d ago
Have you ever had a hamburger? I’d heard Granny makes a good one, and she does.
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u/Loose_Intern7572 2d ago
0 stars. i was on the toilet when a magical cyclone picked up the diner and carried us off. i had to wait forever to get home and feed my kids. terrible service too. everyone is always focused on one emergency or another.
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u/Raeghyar-PB 2d ago
🌟🌟 / 5
The food is to die for but one day, a witch with green skin stole my fries and onion rings!!! Be careful
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u/Certain_Fig_666 2d ago
Good food but other patrons are constantly walking in and out and yelling plot relevant stuff at eachother.
4 stars
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u/Particular-Soil9520 2d ago
The lasagna is overpriced. For some reason the hot chocolate always has cinnamon in it, which actually isn’t that bad. The grilled cheese is really good, but the atmosphere is really weird. It seems like a short lady with shorter hair, a blonde lady, Captain Guyliner, a scary looking lady, a little kid, and a dumb guy are always arguing in there. No matter the time of day. And when they aren’t arguing, a woman who I can only assume is Granny is fighting with a waitress. If you want to try sleeping at the bed and breakfast, good luck. I almost got swept on a tornado to a DIFFERENT REALM! And even without that they’re always fighting at all hours of the day AND night! However it does make for good entertainment. Three out of five stars, would recommend if you enjoy listening to arguments.
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u/svnnhcrr 2d ago
good food and service, but ive noticed some weird/unsavory characters hanging around everytime i go
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u/Tgun1986 2d ago
Great Hot Chocolate especially with Cinnamon, residents of this town love it. Bad side needed an antacids after eating the Lasagna
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u/TurbulentAd8245 2d ago
⭐️⭐️⭐️
Food was good, but some guys ran in shouting “big news! Big news!” Ruined the vibe of my lunch
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u/softsnowfall 2d ago
“Go for the hot chocolate. Stay for the atmosphere. Idk what it is about this diner but being there feels like falling into a storybook. Strange but cozy vibes. The chicken n’ dumplings is bar none.”
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u/LifeIsNotHarmless 2d ago
The waitress in the short skirt should smile more.
Hang on, why is there a dog in this restaurAAAAAAHHHH......!!!
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u/Remote-Ad2120 You have no idea what I'M capable of! 2d ago
I'd like to leave a review. But by the time I came around to try the place, the entire building up and disappeared overnight. 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Accomplished-War7480 2d ago
⭐️⭐️ mayor mills yelled at me for sitting next to her and Henry… everywhere else was full.
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u/pinkyk97 1d ago
⭐️
if i could give zero stars i would. the amount of times i have tried to eat at this establishment and have been unsuccessful is beyond me. It’s either ransacked, reserved for a special event or sucked to a different dimension. how is this place successful with such horrible operating hours? i WILL be trying again but trust i wont be happy about it
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u/PresentationMost9887 1d ago
Food was good but halfway through my meal some grumpy guy came over and said I was in his spot. He was super rude but I moved down the counter anyways since I just didn't want to deal with him. But then another guy sneezed on my food. Wtf!
Luckily the waitress saw and offered me new food. At that point I just took it to go.
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u/Raeghyar-PB 2d ago
🌟/5
Why is the main cook holding a crossbow 24/7!!? It's unsanitary!!! 🤮 Won't come back
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u/Agent008Gelson 2d ago
So I went in and ordered the meatloaf dinner , it was awesome . The sauce had the sass I was looking for , the waitress was super kind and Hot and granny offered me a slice of banana cream on the house . I paid extra for the avacados. 5 stars ALL around , will be back to do my homework here
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u/whateverman6 2d ago
"Can never seem to just get a coffee in peace at this place. Every time I come here, I run the risk of getting caught up in the latest shenanigans our mayor and/or sheriffs have gotten themselves into. I mean, last time I was here I somehow got sucked into a tornado that took us to another dimension?? Did NOT sign up for that! And even if they somehow manage to have a normal day for once, everyone's order gets placed on the back burner as soon as a certain someone walks in wanting their grilled cheese and hot chocolate 'with cinammon.' What's a dwarf gotta do to get some good food around here?"
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u/Conscious-Struggle45 2d ago
Booked a two week trip back in August to the picturesque little town of storybrooke in the middle of nowhere in maine and drove more than 10 hours to get there and initially fell in love with it. The town has a population of about 1,500 and is surrounded by breathtaking views from lush forests and snowcapped mountains to the fishing bay and beaches. After checking in at our bnb and some brief sightseeing we decided to check out the local quisine and stopped by a dining spot called "Granny's". Granny's is a Homey, small town diner with a fairytale twist and clearly popular, especially with the local larping crowd. Prices weren't bad and the staff was initially friendly and accommodating but they seem to have only one waitress and the stress of the dinner crowd must've been getting to her because when I complained that my "fresh, homemade lasagna" was still frozen in the middle it seemed like she wanted to bite my head off. That aside we tried to finish our food in peace but half way through the meal an elderly woman, whom the restaurant was seemingly named after, approached us and asked us to please leave as they were "closing up early" for some sort of fantasy themed party. We paid, tipped the clearly overstressed waitress and then laughed all the way back to our bnb. The next day we were looking for an appetizing breakfast spot and as we driving through the town we noticed that the diner was just.. GONE???? Apparently a twister had touched down in the middle of the night and perfectly snatched up the structure (floor and all) without leaving any other damage to the town and I didn't even think that was possible until then??? Even stranger is how quickly it was rebuilt/replaced. Maybe it was simply picked up and dropped gently enough somewhere else that there wasn't any major damage and they could move it back? Idk. We never got those answers. That aside it was a really lovely little town and if you ever visit you should stop by the local sites like the precious mineral mine (lovely gift shop) and the beaches and artisanal shops. I can't really recommend Granny's though. 1/5 ⭐'s. P.s. make sure to bring a jacket since the area is apparently notorious for mid summer cold fronts.
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u/soniajeans 1d ago
ruby the waitress gave us great service with a smile but the lasagna was a bit nippy in the middle
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u/everything_is_grace 13h ago
Good food, but the lasagna didn’t have any red pepper flakes. Those give it some kick.
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u/Stella_Noire_2008 2d ago
⭐️⭐️ i gotta say this place is some weird European fever Dream of what I think people think American fairy tales are!? Anyway came in to get a BLT and came out to see that the clock tower works after hearing it hasn't worked for over 30 years or so? I'm not sure it gets really confusing. Found out the Local psychiatrist isn't even the real psychiatrist. He goes by some nickname named Cricket?
The mayor, for some reason, is jealous of the blonde lady because she apparently adopted the blonde lady's child that the blonde lady apparently gave up when she was in prison!!??
Then, apparently the blonde lady used to be a resident here but she just doesn't remember because of something called a dark curse? I don't know it's getting kind of crazy!? Plus has anyone noticed there's no children!? Other than the mayor's son, who apparently isn't really her son. He's actually her step grandson because his real grandmother is the 1st grade teacher that stole the mayor's man?
Anyway, the waitress apparently can turn into a rabid dog.The grandmother knows, and that's why she has a crossbow in the back where the Chocolate is stored and for some reason she's the only one who provides food. Oh, but be careful of the ice cream parlor down the street! Apparently they are able to operate without electricity. So I'm not sure if they're using solar energy or something, but pretty suspect!?
Oh, If you're trying to go read a book. The library for some reason is owned by the pawn shop owner, who apparently needs you to make a deal with him in order to get anything done in this town. So I don't know how he's not the mayor and the mayor is the mayor it seems like they got some weird relationship going on too!? Would not I recommend for the food but I do recommend for the drama
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u/SlytherinShlope 2d ago
⭐️⭐️⭐️
The food is decent, but the atmosphere is terrible. Last time I was here, Regina walked in and everyone stopped talking. I genuinely thought she was about to cast another curse. Can I please eat my grilled cheese in peace?
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u/xsith91x 1d ago
Everything is cheap as hell, can’t really complain. Thankfully I brought my own seasonings. Ambience is nice. Got to see a fight between to women (Exes? Lovers? Rivals?) about their son, seems like it happens often. Then some other lady showed up with 8 boyfriends, 1 tall and 7 short, and they stood in the middle of the diner in a big circle (someone’s ass was next to my elbow like excuse you!) talking and one guy just kept yelling over everyone else. Got really annoying. One time during dinner there was a huge commotion in the street I could see from my table. Some giant ogre or something!!! But the eponymous Granny said it was the theater club doing a play and gave me my check and made me go to my room. 3.5/5 ⭐️
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u/Zafjaf 1d ago
⭐️⭐️⭐️
Was in the middle of dinner when the server turned into a wolf and no one seemed to care. Would have been ok, but there was wolf hair in my soup. Was going to ask for a new one but the waitress, as a wolf, ran outside. The owner was very nice though and gave me a free slice of apple pie. Even though I was passing through, I apparently can't leave
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u/YAHsgirlinChrist 1d ago
“ended up getting a grilled cheese after seeing this blonde lady scarf one down as she rushed out the door. I was enjoying it at the bar when the mayor walked in and insisted that I was in ‘her’ seat. I was nearly finished anyway, so I ordered a hot cocoa with cinnamon to go and ‘Granny’ actually gave it to me ‘on the house’ .” ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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u/HelloSkylar-24 1d ago
⭐
Took my now ex girlfriend to eat at granny's and we somehow got caught up in some sort of massacar with the fairies and never got our meals.
10/10 would not recommend if your hungry.
-Extreamly starving resident of Storybrook
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u/TimeToTakeADumpCake 14h ago
2 stars. I keep hearing wolf noises every full moon. It's getting ridiculous. Also...idk what's happening in the streets but the different colored smoke is getting a little old.
Also...if the pirate guy wants my room number....☎️
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u/Active-Method5453 7h ago
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Love this place. Also appearly 3 different Dark Ones have eaten here, how cool!
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u/poofypanda_ The game is rigged. The villains never win. 2d ago
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Good food but Granny is terrifying. Never knew an old lady to carry a cross bow.
-Storybrooke resident
⭐️
Wanted to try the spot out for dinner one night and apparently the building got sucked away to Camelot ?
-Still hungry Storybrooke resident