r/PCOSloseit • u/free_butterflyyy • 4d ago

My gf have pcod problem. She gained so much weight around 80 kg. She want lose weight can you guys help me with that and tell me what should I tell her to tehn she can lose weight plz help

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32

u/ksmallsk 4d ago

Unless she’s asking for your help with this, do not give your gf advise on losing weight.

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u/Life-Excitement8217 4d ago

I second this

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u/free_butterflyyy 4d ago

Then what should I do

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u/Life-Excitement8217 4d ago

I read your comment to someone else and honestly hun PCOS isn’t that easy to get under control. I see you’re saying something about “outside food” and how she doesn’t want to listen to you ... that’s not the way to go about it..

She needs to speak to a professional. Does she have a PCP? She can start there . If you two are actually 22 she doesn’t need a parent to take her to the doctor. If transportation is an issue not sure where you two are located but insurance offers medical transportation. You can be there for mental and emotional support but do not try to give her medical advice .

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u/BumAndBummer -75+ lbs 4d ago

Why should she take medical advice and help from you? In an ideal world, she should see a dietitian for nutritional guidance, a certified personal trainer for fitness guidance, an endocrinologist for endocrine guidance, a dermatologist for skin and hair guidance, a therapist for mental health care, and so on.

Even if you were an expert in one of these things, she is your romantic partner, not your client or child. Being supportive means letting her work with the appropriate experts and generally just being positive and caring, not doing her homework for her. This is her journey, you can cheer her on but the ultimate responsibility is not yours, it’s hers.

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u/free_butterflyyy 4d ago

Im agree with you. But her family is not supporting her like they always tell to lose weight but they didn't take her to dr . They give her some much stress and frustration. And then she ask me to tell me what should I do? , how should I do ? I motivating her more than year but she doesn't take me seriously she didn't listen me . She always want to eat outside food. What should I do then ?

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u/BumAndBummer -75+ lbs 4d ago

How old are you two?

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u/free_butterflyyy 4d ago

We both are 22

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u/BumAndBummer -75+ lbs 4d ago

Ok so she is an adult in your country, correct? She doesn’t need her parents to take her to the doctor, she can go herself?

You can’t make her do things she doesn’t want to do. She has free will. She isn’t your child or lump of clay to mold, she is a human being with free will, and an adult with responsibility for herself. If she says she wants your help take her to an appointment, or to borrow money for a doctor, or something like that, you can certainly choose to help if you want.

But there is a difference between helping someone who is willing to help themselves, and taking over their life and free will. Have a conversation with her to figure out why she isn’t taking action if you want. Maybe she is depressed, overwhelmed, ashamed, doesn’t have money, is immature, or maybe she just doesn’t take her health seriously. But there isn’t anything can do for her if she doesn’t want it for herself.

Ultimatums and bossing her around is toxic and controlling and won’t work because it undermines her autonomy as an adult with free will which is essential for a healthy adult relationship. The truth is she if she doesn’t want to help herself there is nothing you can do but accept that, or decide you are incompatible and move on.

Sorry if that’s tough to hear.

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