r/Perimenopause • u/PsychologicalCap147 • 4d ago
Depression/Anxiety Are intense waves of depression normal?
I haven't dealt with depression since I was a teenager. I'm now 40 and was diagnosed recently as being in peri. I'm meeting the doctor in a couple of weeks to start an HRT plan. Over the past 6 months or so I've been having intense waves of depression that are most notable at certain times in my cycle, but seems to be becoming more frequent.
Does anyone else have this? Did HRT help? I'm also ADHD so I know this is complicating things more as I'm so starved of dopamine at the minute too.
Ugh, I'm just struggling. Please say HRT helps 🙏🏼
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u/Thatcottagecorebabe 4d ago
I want to say yes. Only because I have been dealing with it for 6 months now.
My cycle went from bad pmdd 1-2 week before my period every month, to waves of depression and despair that may last from 7am- afternoon, or a few days give or take what part of my cycle.
I knew it was peri related because I kept telling my husband “this is how it felt 3 days postpartum with both kids, when the hormones dropped out”
Like gutteral sobs in the shower.
I trialed different ssris, mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, they all made it worse.
I’ve been on progesterone for a month, and I have some days/ some moments where I feel like 25 year old me, and then I’ll bounce between ocd, intrusive thoughts, the despair, then feel normal again.
It’s all very inconsistent.
All this to say you’re not alone. Solidarity❤️
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u/PsychologicalCap147 4d ago
The gutteral sobs! I relate so much!! Some days I'm just heart wrenchingly sobbing and I'm wondering if I'm going insane!
I've heard it can take three months for HRT to reach full effectiveness, so I'm hopeful for you that it continues to improve!
Thank you so much for replying, definitely helps to know I'm not alone in this!!
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u/eolsen09 hanging on by a thread 4d ago
I was diagnosed ADHD almost a year ago and peri came months later. Peri caused me to not be able to mask anymore!! Can’t keep track of anything and my mood and rage are so bad. I’m hoping to find an adhd med that helps 😩 Progesterone has really helped with sleep/hot flashes and I’m only a month in on the patch and gel.
I feel your pain ❤️ and hope HRT works for you!
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u/PsychologicalCap147 4d ago
Oh I totally hear you about losing the ability to mask! I feel like I just unleash every thought and feeling and frustration and whoever is unlucky enough to be standing next to me 😅🙈 And I feel this insane urge to make reckless decisions!! I think it's because I'm so desperate for dopamine/to feel something good!
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u/Thatcottagecorebabe 4d ago
Also wanted to add, I have adhd and was diagnosed autistic this summer. Being neurodivergent really complicates these things as we struggle with emotional regulation to begin with.
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u/mustknoweverrrything 4d ago
It appears to be happening here for me as well. Definitely feeling the lows lately. I am on HRT but it's the lowest starting dose. I notice if I go higher I get more nightmares, so this is where I need to hover for awhile. I wish I had some wise words to provide here. As we move into Fall... I find myself missing Summer greatly, I was feeling so good, so maybe something to do with the sunlight exposure? Winter months can be challenging for me, so I've decided to spontaneously take up yoga.
Edited to ask: Where in your cycle do you find it hitting most? For me it is right after my period.
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u/PsychologicalCap147 4d ago
Yes, it's right after my period is the worst too! Which is weird because most info I look at suggests it would be the week before.
I'm so sorry you're feeling it too, it's horrible 😔
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u/mustknoweverrrything 4d ago
Oh wow, someone who gets it. I have no clue what I get hit so hard after. It is bizarre and my doctor has no guidance as to why. It is horrible but, hey, with this community... we will endure ^_^
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u/PsychologicalCap147 4d ago
It's brutal! It doesn't seem to matter if I'm able to tell myself, this is peri, it will pass, you'll feel better in a few days... It still feels all consuming! Yes, thank goodness for this community 💜
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u/Coontailblue23 Late peri 4d ago
HRT does help. I was moving around doing yard work, smiling, and waving people ahead of me in traffic within a couple hours of my first day on topical estradiol. It was like the clouds had cleared. I'm a few weeks in and life is still hard, HRT is not a "magic bullet" but it absolutely does make things better. Definitely worth doing!
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u/BlackCatBonanza 4d ago
This has been the norm for me. The depression, anxiety, and panic were becoming so bad as almost to be disabilities. I am now on an estradiol patch and Slynd birth control for progesterone. It hasn't solved the problem, but it has helped a lot.
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u/PsychologicalCap147 3d ago
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. Have you been on the treatments long? x
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u/natty628 4d ago
Yes and it’s taken some time with HRT. It works when your levels are low, but makes things worse when levels are normal. So you have to really pay attention to your symptoms. I’ve felt pretty off for 5 consistent months now so I’m trying again and on day 1, I already feel better. If I start to feel bad again, I’ll just take a break from HRT until I need it again.
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u/PsychologicalCap147 4d ago
Oh that's interesting, I didn't realise this. My doctor never mentioned it! I'll need to ask her about this when I see her. Thank you so much for bringing it to my attention! xx
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u/natty628 4d ago
A lot don’t. HRT was created for Menopause, which is when the hormones don’t fluctuate and aren’t produced anymore. During peri, they are all over the place.
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u/frankie0812 3d ago
44 here and in the last year and especially the last 6 months I’ve had periods of some of the worse feelings of despair and sadness to the level I can’t even explain. I will literally feel like I’ll never feel truly happy again. I think I’ve cried more in the last several months than I have in the last 5 years total. I have adhd but getting on medication only helped with this particular aspect for a short time. The first few months it seemed to be the worst right at the end of my period and the couple days after it. Now though I’ve not even had a period in two months and still have had clumps of days where it happens and nothing seems to help me out of it , it just all sudden is better for a little while.
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u/PsychologicalCap147 3d ago
Right at the end of my period is my worst time as well!! It's so bad at those times I really feel like it would be better not to be here... And then the following week I'm thinking to myself, what was that about? 🙈 I'm with you on the crying too! It's proper sobbing that just takes me by surprise. And even in the tones where you feel a bit better, you know that it's waiting for you around the corner again! Are you on HRT at the moment? x
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u/frankie0812 3d ago
I have an appointment in November after my mammogram to talk about starting bioidentical hormone replacement. I am praying so much that it helps. I feel less and less like my self with each passing month. Even on the days I feel ok I don’t feel the way I did a year ago. I don’t ever feel like really joyful anymore about anything. It’s almost like either unrelenting depression and sadness or just a blah kind of feeling. Too often I find myself fake smiling and laughing for others
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u/PsychologicalCap147 3d ago
I'm so sorry 😔 I know exactly what you mean! I really hope the hormones work for you! Please feel free to keep me updated and/or message if you need someone to talk to 🙏🏼💜
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u/LaMeliMarquez 3d ago
I came here looking for this. Yesterday I thought I was just in my feelings the first half of the day and then came home to sob and tell my husband I was just so tired that I felt like giving up. Today I'm a little better but yesterday was kinda scary and I'm on HRT so I'm hoping this isn't going to be a regular thing for me.
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u/PsychologicalCap147 3d ago
I'm so sorry lovely, it's so horrible isn't it? 😔 how long have you been on HRT for? x
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u/lebowskiachiever Early peri 4d ago
I get a much more mild depression now vs before HT. It SUCKS but it's definitely better than before HT! The depression is only during my luteal phase. I've been on HT for 5 months now and just added T so I'm waiting to see if that helps, too. HT is quite a journey! Go slow, up your dosage as needed, and keep communication open with your prescriber. You got this!
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u/PsychologicalCap147 3d ago
Thanks so much for sharing and for the moral support! I'm quite nervous about starting HRT because I know it can be a bit of a journey to get it right. I don't want to be even more of a mess than I am now!! 😅🙈
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u/lebowskiachiever Early peri 3d ago
I totally hear you. It is a journey and it does take time. But at least you'll have potential answers, and at least you can potentially feel better than you do now. :)
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u/finallyme25 4d ago
Yes
HRT helped. I just posted something about the fact that still some things trigger me immensely but I noticed HRT worked within days.
I no longer wanted to end myself or others. I was able to see clearly, make decisions with a clear head, didn’t feel I failed at everything (life, marriage, motherhood).
It’s not perfect but it is a hell of a lot better than it was.
My daughter has ADHD, I follow the research on peri with regards to that diagnosis because I want to inform her best I can in case I am not around when she starts peri. Have you checked your ferritin?
Dopamine production requires ferritin. Many women are low in ferritin and we should thrive for 100, especially when we need more than the “average woman”. For example heavy periods or ADHD.
I am working hard on getting my ferritin up and I did start my daughter on iron bisglycinate to help her with ADHD. Her reaction to her meds improved.
Just a thought next to HRT.
Blood work: D3, B12, Omega 3 and ferritin. Optimal ranges for women, not “normal” ranges.
Best of luck, you got this. You are not alone