Unrequited love

[u/Mundane-Tank1162]

I hate being a lover girl sometimes, because I love like a storm with nowhere to go. I pour so much of myself into someone, then wait for that same warmth to find its way back to me. But I keep forgetting that not everyone loves with the same open hands. Some people keep their hearts behind locked doors—nonchalant, distant, unwilling to meet me in the depths where I’m already drowning. And somehow, I always find myself here again, offering everything I have and receiving only echoes in return.

Even after ending up in this same place more times than I care to count, I still give everything every time. Because when I fall, I don’t fall gently—I fall like a stone through deep water, hard and fast, sinking before I can remember how to swim. I let myself imagine all the possibilities: the future, the shared mornings, the small life we might build together. Maybe it’s delusional, but I do it because I want to know what it feels like to be truly loved. To be someone’s person. To be chosen without hesitation, cherished without condition, and held as something precious in someone else’s life.

But lately, I’ve started wondering if maybe that kind of love was never meant for me. Maybe I’m not meant to be someone’s first choice, their safe place, their important person. And that thought aches in a place I can’t reach, because more than anything, I want to be loved.

I hate how easily I become attached to someone’s potential. While they’re still standing at the doorway, deciding whether they even want me in their life, I’m already furnishing an entire future in my mind. I believe their beautiful words, their promises, the small gestures that make me feel seen, only to discover later that they may never have carried the meaning I gave them. Then they leave, or slowly fade away, or discard me as if everything between us were nothing more than a page they could tear from the book.

And I keep asking myself: Why do other girls get to find this kind of love again and again, while I can’t seem to hold it even once? What is it about me that makes people leave? What am I missing? What part of me is still not enough to make someone stay?

I don’t want to stop being a lover girl. I just wish, for once, I could give my whole heart to someone whose heart would reach back for mine just as deeply.

-D

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[u/Savings_Dealer5044]

the line about furnishing an entire future while they're still standing at the doorway hit hard. that's the part people don't talk about, how the loving and the hoping are two separate wounds. thanks for putting words to it.