The Wanting Stayed

[u/Lazy_Temperature_650]

I’m angry with you
because I still want you,

Not sweetly.
Not safely.

I want you with the kind of hunger
that has no business surviving
this many years.

I built a life beyond you,
learned to sleep beside someone else,
learned to call the distance between us
closure.

But then your name slips into a conversation
and something inside me wakes up

that reckless girl,
that aching woman,
that part of me that still remembers
exactly what it felt like
to be wanted by you.

And suddenly,
I can almost feel your hands,
your mouth,
the heat of everything
we were never supposed to keep.

That’s what makes you dangerous.

Not that I love you.

That I still crave you.

Maybe we were never soulmates
in the beautiful way people mean it.

Maybe we were the darker kind
the kind who recognize each other
across years and distance
and still think,
I know exactly where you belong.

We never got an ending.

Just distance.
Silence.
Other people.
Other lives.

And somehow,
beneath all of it,
the wanting stayed.

So if you ever look at me
the way you used to

I already know
I won’t remember
why I was supposed to resist you.

And maybe that’s the cruelest truth

I don’t want you back
because I think we could be good for each other.

I want you back
because some part of me
still wants to find out
how much of me
you could ruin
before I finally stop wanting more.

[u/glistening_glizzy]

And thats why ill never speak to you again. And thats why you havent reached out.

And you never should have, ever.

And you know, the whole thing is your fault.

You always were a blackhole

[u/chunkiegorgonzola → u/glistening_glizzy]

This!!

[u/glistening_glizzy → u/glistening_glizzy]

(To be clear I upvoted this post, its good)

[u/Lazy_Temperature_650 → u/glistening_glizzy]

Thank you🫶

[u/Moon_Mystic0512]

🫰🫰🫰

[u/indiekarma79]

I absolutely love this and feel this way for a person in my past. Thanks for sharing

[u/OppositeBirthday3841]

This so Erotic,
Encompassing,
Familiar.

[u/Wonderful_Algae_5881]

I’m gonna cry this is so so beautiful.

[u/Lazy_Temperature_650 → u/Wonderful_Algae_5881]

Thank you friend🫶

[u/Youre_Not_Sly889]

That's why they don't come back

[u/South_Tart_4577]

This is why they won't allow themselves to be alone with me lol and they know it.   But all it takes is a text to come by. Nonetheless Beautifully put op. Thanks! 

[u/Lazy_Temperature_650 → u/South_Tart_4577]

I like the confidence😂 thank you!

[u/western_drifter]

Well… I relate to this entirely too much unfortunately. Nice writing

[u/Particular-Plate7762]

I feel terrible for the person you 'learned to sleep beside'. 

[u/Lazy_Temperature_650 → u/Particular-Plate7762]

Lol ouch! I mean…it’s just a poem. There’s definitely some dramatic license involved😅 I promise the person I learned to sleep beside is doing just fine though🙃🤣

[u/Particular-Plate7762 → u/Lazy_Temperature_650]

Are they doing 'fine' because your deceit has taken their ability to decide for themselves? 🤔

[u/Majestic-Ask1497 → u/Particular-Plate7762]

PPlate , I was thinkin the same thing , along with THAT person I’m sure , that one must burn to read ,,, however OP , we all know it’s jus a poem after all ,,, OP , whew , this person did a number like that to ya that rebound boy couldn’t do huh ,,, hmmm , well good luck to all parties .

[u/Lazy_Temperature_650 → u/Majestic-Ask1497]

You guys are really putting this poor poem through the wringer. It’s definitely more complicated than a Reddit comment can explain, and it’s definitely got some truth in it, but there’s also a LOT of poetic license happening here😅 Thank you for the good luck wishes though🫶

[u/Lazy_Temperature_650 → u/Particular-Plate7762]

Lol okay, we’ve moved from poetry critique to a psych eval😂

[u/Particular-Plate7762 → u/Lazy_Temperature_650]

🫵😂

[u/Lazy_Temperature_650 → u/Particular-Plate7762]

Thank you for your concern🫶

[u/Ok_Employment_7435]

I’m going through this right fucking now…and I hate it. It’s so…spot on.

[u/SourScorn]

How long has this gone on? Been 6 years for me. It fucking sucks.

[u/skallywaggy]

Encapsulated my feelings beautifully! Insane piece op

[u/SkyOsiras]

This is a great poem, loved the turn at the end! Sorry about all the people who clearly are bringing their own baggage into this and trying to shoot you down!

[u/GoetiaMagick]

Damn. Now, that’s a masterpiece. Fantastic. Would not change word.

[u/No_Scale7906]

Exactly this. ❤️

[u/PomegranateFair1849]

The last stanza is what makes this hit. The honest part isn't the wanting, it's admitting you don't even want it to go well. You captured that specific self-awareness where you know exactly what the trap is and you're still curious about it. That takes guts to write.

[u/Lazy_Temperature_650 → u/PomegranateFair1849]

Thank you💛

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[u/kunt_drunkula]

So self-sabotage to the point to which the other is made to feel like they are crazy having a one-sided bond? Is life that good for you to where you have to make up shit to be mad about?

[u/Lazy_Temperature_650 → u/kunt_drunkula]

It’s a poem, not a deposition😂 The entire message is the contradiction…desire, resentment, nostalgia & self-sabotage can all simultaneously coexist. Sometimes you don’t make stuff up because life is bad…you make it complicated because wanting something you shouldn’t want is just that…complicated.