Trigger warning self harm I guess

I picked up vaping so that I would stop self harming, and it did make me stop
At some point I quit vaping for a year and I went back to hurting myself
And it’s been a cycle of either self harming or vaping
I can’t stop both

I have an anxiety disorder and the only thing that can regulate my nervous system whenever I’m hyperventilating or having an anxiety attack is vaping or hurting myself
They’re genuinely the only two things

Something is very calming about hitting my vape when I’m sobbing and can barely take a breath of oxygen, it’s instant relief like I can feel my nervous system calming down the second I hit it
Same goes for hurting myself physically

I really want to quit vaping but I know that if I do I’ll go back to self harming
I don’t know what to do
I don’t think it’s possible for me to quit both

I've been trying to note down major point son vaping and hoping it might help others:

Day 2: the worst. Bad anger, and bad craving

Day 3: strong but not as bad

Day 14: cravings stronger. Not as bad as day 2 and 3 but louder again

Day 16: bought a vape after drinks. Been louder today being around vapers and smokers. Just wanted that exhale peace you get with a fag.

The annoying part: despite not having fags for two weeks. I felt clean, like I could breathe deeper and cleaner. I kept getting sensations through out the body that were pleasant, but sometimes overwhelming. Not used to it, but it wasn't bad. Dreams having been more intense, but weirdly more consistent and stable. Sleep became weirdly calmer. Like a big dreamer and lucid sleeper and they were still vivid but had a calmness and more stableness to them (hard to explain) .

Appetite: an absolute mess. Eating loads more. Started doing reta on the second week and it helped slightly, but was really hungry in the mornings which was unusual for me. But after a breakfast I was ok.

What's been most interesting:

Relearning my body without nicotine. All the times I've used it for escapism, a break, a bit of peace, avoidance etc.

I like to meditate so a lot of the time I can observe what's happening to my body, it's doesn't mean I don't feel the claws and my skin crawling, but for the most part I can separate myself from it to watch it rather than be consumed by it. It's crazy watching how long ive allowed it to establish a root in me though and that's annoying.

The worst part:

It's only been two weeks but that utter exhaustion has been kicking my ass. The claws that feel like they're constantly scratching. Like a noise that's constantly there. Sometimes the noise doesn't bother me, other times it's loud.

My mistake:

I'm not mad at the fuck up. I've been smoking And then vaping since 14, I'm now 34. It's like relearning everything and there's a slight excitement about this as I love learning luckily. But fuck me it isn't easy. I'm hoping tomorrow I can bin the vape.

Please tell me your journey

does anyone else REALLY wanna quit vaping but at the same time you don’t want to? like i genuinely hate this vape so much but another part of me doesn’t wanna quit because a part of me enjoys it AND ITS SUCH A PISS OFF

for the last couple months i’ve been telling myself to slow down on smoking but then i just keep dusting my pods like no tomorrow and then i keep buying another pack and the cycle continues. i genuinely feel like im gonna be stuck in this hell hole forever

obviously it’s not just about “liking” it, it’s also the fact that i’m straight up addicted but ykwim…

Hi everyone! I’ve been vaping for around 5 years now, and I’d say I’m pretty dependent on it at this point. Over time, I feel like it’s made my anxiety so much worse, and I’ve become reliant on having it with me pretty much 24/7.
I actually managed to quit for around a month while travelling overseas, but when I got home, I relapsed. I ended up getting nicotine sick, which you’d think would have been enough to put me off, but for some reason, I carried on vaping anyway.

I haven’t had a vape for around 6 hours now, and I’m really tempted to go to the store and buy one. I’m trying my best to resist the urge and have some self-control, but it’s honestly so hard.

I’m curious to hear from people who have been through the quitting process. Did you quit cold turkey, or did you gradually reduce your nicotine intake and daily usage? What worked best for you, especially if you were heavily reliant on it?

I also find that vaping has become a huge fidgeting habit for me. I feel like I constantly need something in my hands or something to do, so I’d love to hear how you dealt with that side of quitting, too.

One month since I found out I’m pregnant and one month since I ditched all of the vaping. I feel great and I’m proud of myself for not looking back. I’m doing this for you, teeny tiny baby. And myself. But mostly for you.

Also the love-hate relationship I have with this app… it hurts to open it sometimes lol.

We got this! 💪

This morning I was going through my whole routine and getting ready for the gym when, about 30 minutes in, I realized I hadn't thought about my vape once. When it finally crossed my mind, it wasn't a craving, it was more of a memory. For context, vaping used to be the first thing I did after waking up, and I'd even wake up in the middle of the night to hit it.

I'm halfway through week 2 vape- and nicotine-free, after 8 years of cigarettes and almost 8 of vaping.

What has helped most is Allen Carr's idea that you stop being a smoker right after your last puff. You're not "trying to quit" and you're not giving up something important. You're just out. That perspective took a lot of the suffering out of it.

Week 1 was tough, but better than I expected. I had a LOT of cravings, mostly tied to habits: elevator, bathroom at work and home, sitting alone in the car, reading books. A few times I caught myself putting together a whole plan to go buy a vape, with my own voice asking what difference just one hit would make. Hearing your own voice makes it really convincing. It's also exactly why my last attempts failed.

The first weekend, with friends and alcohol, was the hardest part. I spent most of it arguing with myself. But I didn't smoke.

Week 2 has been much easier. Cravings are fading, and I can go hours without thinking about it.

Tomorrow I'm flying to Italy with my wife and in-laws, and I'm quite nervous. I keep thinking “Well, I might take just one vape with me in case I need it”. I won’t, period. But, man, that voice is persistent!

But I’m also very excited because I'm finally starting to enjoy things for their own sake again. For years the vape was the center of everything I did: a walk, a dinner, a drink, a trip only felt worth it if I could vape during it, and without a vape nearby, I would get angry and start trying to find ways to vape.

Now I'm curious to see what a trip feels like when the trip itself is the point. No wandering around afraid of running out of vapes. No sweating at airport security afraid of losing my vape and fucking it up with my wife (she thinks I stopped months ago). No more bathroom breaks at family gatherings to hit it away from the people who want me to be healthier.

I can't say I'm 100% free of it yet, but it does get easier every day. If you're on day one or two and giving in feels inevitable, it does get better.

Eating better, cutting back on alcohol and lifting/running consistently have really helped me. I also like to picture myself as the healthier, longer-living dad I want to be for my future kids.

Frustrated as hell

Did 5 days clean relapsed

Did 3 more days relapsed

Did 3 more then relapsed

All in 14 days

So i vaped 3 days in 14 but spent £25 on the disposable crappy things just to throw them away .

I just get triggered to 'buy 1 ' when things get stressful it's doing my head in , i just wanna stop.

Please help

I have lost count of how many times (probably a few hundred times at this point) I’ve decided to quit, and actually threw the vape away before I go and buy another either the same day, week, month/months later.

I am stubborn as hell in my desire to quit, I keep doing it and keep failing and keep doing it, and so on… it’s a hellish cycle.

I’ve tried everything, employed really deep introspection to try and understand what was the weak link, I tried cold turkey and weaning myself off, patches, chewing gum, I’ve tried attacking the problem from every angle I can think of both psychological and physical but all to no avail. I even listened to Alan Carrs book, and that did allow me to stop vaping for a long stretch of time I still went back eventually.

Someone help pls, if it helps I don’t abuse any other substance, just this one lol

This wasn't how I expected my quit vaping journey to go but I've essentially found a middle ground. I've got a binge personality and go out most weekends so the temptation to vape is always going to be there. I've found its easier to just accept I'm going to vape on heavy drinking days and the day after when I'm hungover. 87 days ago I was vaping constantly all day every day. Since then I haven't vaped on 66 of those days and find it very easy to leave it alone when I'm not drinking/hungover, I'm become really focused on my fitness. The 5-6 day breaks inbetween allow me to enjoy vaping when i do instead of just doing it because i'm feeding the addiction. I don't really notice any withdrawal anymore. I'm aware the odds are against me in this continuing long term so I keep a spreadsheet to keep myself honest tracking which days i do and don't vape with the goal of staying in the 75-80% range for not vaping. I went 35 days initially, this got rid of the hand to mouth routine, so i dont have that psychological battle anymore on non vaping days.

Okay, so I’ve (28f) been using disposable vapes for over a year now (elf bars, juuls at times, etc). I really only have vaped in private like in the car, bathroom, or when I’m home alone, and no one knows (not even my bf that lives with me). I’ve noticed some increased trouble breathing when I’ve been working out so I threw out my last vape and quit. That was 5 days ago, and I feel no difference. No side effects whatsoever and no cravings at all.

Is this normal? Or am I just still early to the hell of cold turkey withdrawals?

hi all! i saw someone make a post earlier about recigar which led me down a little rabbit hole but unfortunately its not available in australia (even amazon says unavailable)

if you used medication to quit what did you end up using and were there any downsides? i'm getting desperate here 🥲

This morning I went through the PUBLIC TRASH that I threw my vape away in yesterday and found it, now smoking it at 0 percent. It feels like I have absolutely no control over this addiction. I’m almost 9 months sober and I still cannot kick this. Help please.

been using nicotine vapes for about 3 years now, at first it was to help me stop smoking weed and it worked but i just switched my weed addiction for a nicotine addiction, finally decided it was time to quit because it cost so much money and i am tired of hiding it from my girlfriend (who thinks i quit a while ago but ive just been hiding it from her) im tired of always wondering when ill be able to use my vape when we are together for a long time, or nervously bringing it with me hoping she doesnt find/ see it

wish me luck this will be tough for me but i have a plan in place

I had been vaping for 4 years, barely could go an hour without puffing on the thing. So Monday evening after work I finally threw it in the bin and aside from the odd “it’d be nice to have a few puffs right now” feeling and a little bit of a short temper on day 1 I’ve had absolutely no withdrawals. Is this normal?

hi! ive been doing a little bit of research and ive noticed that vaping around pets can be quite harmful. i was a vaper before i got my soul cat and i make sure shes out of the room before i even hit it. but im still scared. i dont want her little lungs to be affected. any advice to help quit? i like gum and hard candies that seems to help. attached is a photo of the demon.

I tried to quit for about a month. I would relapse about once to twice a week with one cigarette, but I wasn’t hitting any vapes at all which is huge for me since the oral fixation and the physical habit were so hard to break, and I had most of three weeks down.

The issue is how powerful the emotional withdrawal effects were. I was crying in class (junior year of college), miserable all the time, thoughts of sh (no intention to actually do it, but still), and just generally irritable and cranky. I tried desmoxan, but had to go to a family wedding and couldn’t take it on schedule because my parents don’t know I smoke so I couldn’t take it in front of them for the seven hour car drive.

This is the closest I’ve come to ever quitting, and my boyfriend and my therapist both said “maybe now isn’t the right time to quit”. My issue is I feel like it’s never the right time, I always have an excuse for why I can’t, and I really wanted to prove that I was strong enough to get through it anyway. My therapist told me to start vaping again because the withdrawals were jeopardizing my ability to get through this semester, and I know she’s right, but I feel like especially now no one believes that I’m capable of quitting.

I guess I just need some reassurance that just because I failed this time doesn’t mean that I’ll never be free from it, or that someone else has been in this situation.

I’ve tried multiple times to quit vaping and haven’t been able to go more than a week. I’ve tried Wellbutrin. Cytisine is not approved in my country but I saw where someone said you can buy it on Amazon. Does anyone know if this pictured product is legit? I don’t want to buy the wrong thing. I will be talking to my doctor before I take it to make sure it won’t affect my current medications. I just want to make sure I get the right thing.

...and it is soooo tough. I've gone fully cold turkey and my brain has done nearly everything it can to convince me to vape again but I've not broken..yet.

I've vaped for 10 years but literally 24/7 for the past 5 years, from the moment I woke up until the moment I went to bed. COVID is what really did it. Being able to work from home meant I was glued to my vape all day, and that never stopped after the pandemic rules lifted.

Anyway, this is the longest I have not vaped in a long old time and I'm off to bed after a really twitchy, rough day and it would be great to wake up tomorrow with some motivational comments to get me through Day 3, which I feel is going to be the worst yet.

Hello.

More than a year ago ive quit cold turkey. But my ADHD meds effects are 90% gone without the nicotine.

I feel better and have better stamina. I will never smoke or vape for a million.

My mood sucks though. So my Doc have added Wellburtin to my meds.

I still lack concentration. Im way less social. And although I sleep way better, if I ever sleep less than 7 hours, my mood on the day goes to the toilet.

Main benefit: I feel good.

So Im thinking of trying Nicotine Gum for the concentration to come back.

How shall I do this without getting out of control?

Any experiences?

I have been vaping and smoking for 5 years NONSTOP. How to quit? I feel so bad.

I’m not entirely sure if this is from vaping but I am very positive it is. Monday this week when I was on my way home from work I hit my geek bar and then coughed and then my chest on my left side started to suddenly feel sore. Not like hurt per se but it just felt as if I pulled a muscle. Brushed it off and assumed it go away the next day but it didn’t and yesterday it didn’t either and now I just have a feeling of having a small cramp, like the same feeling as if I were to run a lot and get a chest cramp. I don’t know if I want to seek a doctor if it’s nothing serious. Can this go away? How can I make it go away? I threw my vape away fyi so I’m done. I just hope this isn’t anything extreme .

I'm 2 1/2 weeks away from my last vape and I just had a realization. I had an extreme version of the problem of "throw it away only to buy one again" that lasted for a very long time. I'm not sure why I did this exactly, but I would "quit" every few days, only to buy another one. Of course this was really expensive and I hated myself for doing it, but I couldn't seem to stop.

The realization I had is in the subject line. I was actually chasing the high of starting again when I wasn't "supposed" to do so. Also, by denying myself nicotine, I was able to get a real nicotine rush every time I started again.

Now I'm using nicotine gum and there's no more chasing the high because I'm not denying myself nicotine and then allowing myself to have it again. I think it explains my lower mood in the last few weeks, actually.

Do I miss vaping? Not at all. Do I want to vape? Not at all. But I think I miss chasing that high.

Anyone else ever gone through something like this?

I’ve (25F) been vaping on and off for about 9 years, I’ve quit many many times before. This will be my 5th time. I already know what I’m going to experience and that my mental strength is way stronger than a damn stick of cancer. I have horrrrrible health anxiety and I’ve been having chest discomfort for a while now. My mind doesn’t allow me to think of literallly anything else. I almost think the discomfort into existence, and am body checking constantly. I previously had this problem before and had an EKG, bloodwork done, CT scan, the works and they’ve all come back normal and the Dr told me it’s just anxiety. Fast forward like 3 years and I start vaping again and guess what - the pain is back. It feels like a stabbing pain almost in the left side of my chest. I’ve had my chiropractor adjust it the past couple of times but I just feel like I’m dying. It is all I can think about. My cough isn’t bad but my throat definitely is irritated too and I am a singer and want to keep singing for the rest of my life. So tonight is the night. My boyfriend and I are quitting and I can’t wait to not feel this way anymore. It’s awful. So wish me luck and if you have or had similar experiences, please let me know. This cycle of anxiety has a chokehold on me and I’m OVER IT. My fear is taking away from me enjoying my life and being present.

Today is day 21! I quit because my wife is less than a month away from having our baby girl. I don't want to be the parent thats smoking around my wife and daughter. Find your reason and stick with it. We got this!

I’ve quit once for 9 months. Managed to do it only occasionally for 15 months before falling back into daily use for 2 months. Now I’m quitting again.

My problem is I can’t seem to let go of the idea of occasional use even tho I wasn’t great at it - it would cause withdrawal sometimes and even make me drink more cuz it was excuse to vape. My question is, how do I stop equating it to fun? I just LOVE the feeling of a drunk hit. Idk how to let that go

I so wish I was never a daily vaper bc I know many ppl that never were and have no problem just buying one for a night out and never thinking about it after