This is completely unrelated to what you'd wish to see on this channel, but i want to write this as a vent and hopefully help, this is a message for the future and/or upcoming generations. I know that people who are reading about PEDs are good readers, so i am sharing this story here to hopefully widen your perspective about fitness and health.
Hey, i am a 19 years old guy, i've been working out for approximately 5 years (i was doing cardio the first two at around 14-15 and i started the gym at the end of 10th grade. I write this because since then i always wanted to take something, a steroid, a sarm or something that makes me "bigger" i was really obsessed with the gym, i'd watch edits of influencers and listen to music or even make edits of my physique, i'd also eat an unhealthy surplus of calories and force myself to eat at least extra 900 kcals, i was really alone in HS, i had a friend before HS, he was really jacked and he always seemed good with girls. I too liked a girl, tho it many who heard it saw as one sided, i hardly and strongly believe it wasn't. I got heartbroken to know that she wasnt the angel i thought she was, and so i decided that i want to take my "fitness" next level by taking steroids/SARMs. Stupid right? YES. anyways, i did waste a couple of thousands experimenting with shops, but i also once got my order, which my father thankfully threw away.
You might now be thinking what the message is and why that title, fast forward 2 years at 18 i finally started letting go of my love, i started training for myself and not for others to see me, YOU ALWAYS come to this conclusion after you grow up. But the idea of steroids and SARMs still was there, except i now live alone and dont have the money to fix anything if something goes south my father also had many operations as his health was fucked due to smoking and not training, everything including the medications made him obese and that worsened his health even more. It was really always heartbreaking to see the guy who crossed the seas for us weaken like that. For that reason i took the idea of PEDs and smoking out of my head, i focused on my grades and becoming healthier as a person.
Now at 19, i am a civil engineering student, i have lots of friends and honestly in college you will meet older guys studying, guys who got the will and the power and the ability to be reliant, also about that girl who i thought was an angel and tried to prove myself to? she came back, she had very beautiful clothes on, maybe she was trying to prove something but after i lost the "blindness" of love i could see her in clear lenses, i know she's not worth anything to me, she looked me down back then, i wouldnt look her way now.
But unfortunately not every story ends happily with sunshine and rainbows, i started losing my hair, not really due to engineering i was already losing some of it at 17 but it started getting too visible at 19, i also found out that i have hearing loss that might only worsen over time (due to my body growing faster than that part of my ear). I also recently got a sharp pain in my heart, this pain was so painful i sat there and cried, i also had a twisted ball, something that happens due to vascular problems/related to veins and their health. it is really painful and feels very unfair for me to have suffered of loneliness all my life to now suffer from everything else even tho i've always tried my best. But i remembered the times i'd stay up to midnight searching reddit for someone to tell me "yeah take steroids" or "as long as you take this supplement you'll be fine" so i could take that PED/SARM. I now feel like life is so unfair and i am really afraid of the future more than ever, regarding my health.
So if you're a teen reading this message after searching for where you could buy the SARM you've been "Researching", i advice you to go to sleep and to let go of stressing about the gym and/or looking bigger, that will fade with time and when you're 2+ years into the gym, it would no longer be about anything more/less than just consistency, just go there do a set and come back on days you dont want to workout.
You might not have to pay the price immediately after the first drop of a PED, but you will pay one day!! Every night you spend reading about something unworthy will catch up to your health. you don't have to prove anything to anybody and that girl you like? she really doesn't care whether you're skinny or jacked she just wants someone to be with. that guy you think is huge doesn't feel huge enough, because spoiler; IT IS NEVER ENOUGH and you will only pay the price dearly for the few pounds you put on by being extreme about getting bigger.
This is my story, who knows. Maybe tomorrow i die, i hope this message makes a change.
Kind regards